An Unexpected Path
by Moonstonez
Summary: Duncan picks up a second recruit after Aedan Cousland, a uniquely powerful mage from the Circle of Magi, Amara Amell. They must somehow stop a Tevinter invasion and end the Blight before Amara submits to the will of Urthemiel and brings an unstoppable Blight to Thedas. MCouslandxfAmell, UrthemielxfAmell. Rated M for violence, character deaths and adult content.
1. Chapter 1 To the Circle

**Disclaimer:** Dragon Age is owned by Bioware, I own nothing and receive no compensation for fan fiction related to the game.

**Authors Note:** This story starts right after Duncan rescues Aedan Cousland from Highever when Howe attacked. Each chapter will be based on a different characters perspective of the story. A story between (M) Cousland and (F) Amell has been on my brain for a while and I was finally inspired to start writing it out. It will follow the basic storyline of DA 1 but will take a few left turns at Albuquerque here and there.

-O-

**Chapter 1 – To the Circle**

_**Aedan**_

Aedan was numb and tired. It was all he could do to follow Duncan down the path through the woods. It had been two days since Highever was overrun by Howe's men and his family murdered. He had just shut down the night they fled, barely saying a word to Duncan, just blindly following him. Duncan had tried to talk to him a few times. He let him know they were stopping at Kinloch Hold to pick up another recruit before heading south to Ostagar. He also told him at the next town he would try to send word to his brother Fergus and the King of Howe's betrayal. Aedan just nodded, barely making eye contact. He felt so empty inside and the guilt was consuming him from the inside out. Aedan had never been the social brother. Fergus was the heir, he was just the spare. He was groomed to be a soldier more than a ruler. While Fergus was out with Nathaniel Howe chasing skirts, Aedan was at the Keep with his mabari practicing his dual blade techniques and reading about past battles. His mother had been worried about him; afraid he was too focused and tried her hardest to get him to socialize with the other nobility. She was constantly badgering him to date more.

It worsened after Fergus married Oriana. Eleanor wanted her youngest to find a nice girl to settle down with as well. She had set up many small social events and invited several eligible girls from the land that were high enough rank for the second son of a Teyrn. The more his mother pushed the more creative Aedan became at avoiding these events. Hunting was always a good way to escape his mother's 'wife finding' events. If he even caught wind that she was planning something he'd pack his gear, convince Roland Gilmore to join him and he'd be off for days. He was not interested in listening to some silly Ban's daughter talk about her dress or other irrelevant things. None of the women his mother had produced interested him. Whores had more interesting things to talk about than any woman his mother had thrust upon him.

He was viewed as an exceptional soldier but complicated by his father Bryce Cousland. He had been very proud of his sons, both were exceptional fighters and Fergus was shaping up to be the heir he expected. Aedan was just a thinker he would tell his wife. He had recommended she back off and let he boy find his own wife. Bryce knew his son better than Eleanor; he knew he wouldn't just want a pretty face at his side. He also knew he would make and exceptional Captain of the Guard or maybe even find a place high in the Kings military. His ability to wield his dual blades with such grace and ferocity had earned the respect of many of his men. It was quite the sight to watch him fight multiple opponents and over power them easily. There were more things in the boy's future than a wife and babies. On several occasions he would give Aedan warnings that Eleanor was planning events, which his son was grateful for. Bryce would chuckle every time his son managed to dodge a party or visiting nobility and Eleanor would be furious wondering how the boy knew they were coming.

-O-

It was on the fourth day of travel that he started to talk to Duncan. Duncan had known the man was grieving and did not push him to talk. Aedan had started to ask him questions regarding what it meant to be a Grey Warden. Aedan knew of darkspawn, he had encountered them on his hunting trips before but never more than a few. They were horrifying; he couldn't manage the hordes of them that Duncan was describing during a Blight. This gave him more to think about than the tragedy that occurred in Highever.

"You feel that the frequent attacks and sightings are another Blight don't you?" Aedan asked Duncan as they walked to the tower. Aedan was very perceptive to how Duncan described things and got the feeling of urgency from the man when Ostagar was discussed. Duncan didn't look at him; he didn't respond at first but then said "Yes." Duncan looked at Aedan, "As a Grey Warden you can sense things and because of that I feel this is no small uprising. There is an Archdemon; it has not exposed itself yet. I have tried to warn the other nobles and the King that this is more serious than they think, but I have been unsuccessful in my efforts."

Aedan knew King Cailan since childhood. He was only a few years older than he was but still very immature. Before Fergus and Cailan married they were the biggest rouges in the kingdom. No woman escaped them. Aedan often wondered how many bastards the two of them along with Nathaniel Howe produced. While Fergus cleaned up his act and stopped the debauchery and Nathaniel Howe was sent to the Free Marches to squire; Cailan never stopped. A part of him pitied his wife Queen Anora. Out of all the noble girls he had met she was at least intelligent, a little dry personality wise but not dumb. If anything she was too smart, Aedan knew who really ran things in Denerim. While Cailan was out playing King, Anora really did the job. Her father Loghain had been trying to rein Cailan in for years after King Maric died.

"Whose idea was it to rally at Ostagar? It doesn't seem like the most defendable locations. "Aedan commented as they rested near a stream. "I've known Cailan most of my life, he was never one to study anything other than what was under the nearest skirt, military history and strategy were not his strong points." Duncan chuckled at that.

"Actually it was Loghain's idea. He is not convinced this is a Blight and he seems to have personal issues with Grey Wardens. Nothing I say has an impact on him and Cailan follows his lead where the military is concerned. Cailan hopes this is a Blight so he can go down in the history books as a king that defeated an Archdemon." Duncan sighed.

"Cailan's a fool," Aedan muttered. "What I don't understand is Loghain, he should know better than this." "My father had grown concerned about his Orlais obsession. It was as if the war had never stopped for Loghain. Orlais had been the source of many arguments between the two of them at the Landsmeets over the years. He didn't even make an honorable appearance at Fergus' wedding because he was marrying an Orlesian."

"As a Grey Warden we cannot involve ourselves in the politics of the situation. I have sent word to other Grey Wardens throughout Thedas. I am hoping that they arrive before things become worse." He stood up and grabbed his pack. "Come, we have another day and a half walk before we get to the Circle Tower"

"So what's this other recruit like? Have you met him before and are they a Templar or a mage?" asked Aedan.

"I have not met this recruit before. I received a letter from the First Enchanter Irving saying it was of utmost importance that I come to the circle to evaluate this recruit. The letter was rather vague but it sounded like there were issues with a specific mage and Irving is trying to get the mage out of the circle." Duncan reached into his pack and pulled out the letter and handed it to Aedan.

"Hrm, you are right it is rather vague but this last line is rather interesting… 'I believe this mage has a power unlike anything we've seen before.' What is that supposed to mean? "Duncan shrugged.

"We'll find out when we get there. There have been mages in the Grey Warden's before, it is not that uncommon but this is the first time a Circle has contacted us directly regarding one of their mages. Normally we pick up apostates here and there, rarely Circle mages." Duncan took the letter back from Aedan and tucked it in his pocket. "It has me intrigued; a powerful mage can turn the tides of a battle. Irving is an old friend; I trust his judgment on this."

"If the mage is truly that powerful won't the Chantry interfere? Maybe that's why he wrote you, there are issues with the Chantry and this mage." Aedan said. "My father used his influence as Teyrn to improve the situation the few mages that were at Highever. We had no Circle there but we had a couple mages that were known by the local Chantry that worked for my father. Nan my nanny as a child was one of them. Another was a healer that had a small clinic and shop in town who would sell healing potions. It was very difficult to keep the Templars away; he had to pull a lot of strings for them to be able to live free." Aedan shrugged, "They were healers, and maybe that is why the Chantry allowed them to stay."

"Aye," replied Duncan. "Templars become much more reasonable to mages when they need to be healed. " Duncan point to some hills in the distance. "We will camp there for the night, I know of a good spot there. If we make good time we might make it to the Spoiled Princess at Calenhad's docks before night fall tomorrow."

-O-

After a night at the Spoiled Princess and a bath Aedan was feeling more like himself. He tried not to think of the events in Highever and focus on becoming a Grey Warden. He understood just how much of a danger a Blight is, he would get vengeance for his family by taking down Howe but that would have to wait. If Ferelden was overrun by darkspawn revenge for the murders of his family would mean nothing. He had to focus he told himself, he could not let grief or vengeance take him over. So he pushed those feelings down deep inside of him.

They boarded a ferry to get to the Circle of Magi. Kester the ferryman was a chatty fellow and rather nosey at that. He was very curious why Grey Wardens needed to go to the Circle tower.

"We haven't seen Grey Wardens around these parts for many years. What brings you to the tower if ye don't mind me asking" Kester inquired. "You're here for the girl aren't ya?" Duncan merely responded that the First Enchanter had a recruit for him to evaluate. Kester went on though. "Yup it's probably that girl. Things haven't been the same since they brought her to the tower 12 years ago." Aedan was curious at that point.

"Really? How so?" he asked Kester. This man was an open book just waiting to be read.

"Well I shouldn't say, it's just all talk ya know but they say she's not normal, her magic ain't normal. She don't need no spells and such, she just does things. Old Gregior is at wits end with her, they say she immune to the Templars." Kester whispered that last part even though it was just the three of them on a boat in the middle of the lake. Both Duncan and Aedan stunned just looked at him. "Yup they try to smite her and nothing happens… or so I've heard. They ain't sure what to do with her, kill her, send her to the Seekers in Val Royeaux or keep her locked up here."

Well that explains the letter thought Aedan. This definitely has to be the mage the First Enchanter mentioned. He wondered what Duncan would do. If everything this ferryman said was true it could be very dangerous to have a mage like that around. Kester kept on talking, "I saw her a year ago, pretty thing she is, she fixed my back for me. All of the other healers told me that there was nothing they could do but Irving brought her to me the next day and before I could ask her name she smiled at me and patted my hand and my backs been as good as it was 30 winters ago. Never seen nothing like it, no wonder why the Templars are jumpy," he chuckled. "She ain't never hurt no one, I don't know why they are so scared. Maybe they are afraid they'll lose some Templars to her, I told ya she's a pretty thing didn't I?" Aedan nodded. "A young man like you better watch yourself around her, if I was 30 years younger I would have smuggled her out of there years ago," he laughed. "Never seen a beauty like hers, I reckon she's even more fair than the Queen and I heard she's quite a looker." Aedan turned his head and rolled his eyes at Duncan who smirked.

They drifted up to the dock in front of the Circle Tower and Kester tied the rope to the dock as they gathered their belongings.  
"Well here we are gentlemen, I wish ya well and I hope you are here for the girl. It'd be such a waste for a pretty thing like that to meet the sword." He pointed to the path leading to the doors. "Just tell the Templars there you are here to see Irving."

"Thank you sir, for the ride and for the information." Duncan stated and handed Kester some coins. Kester thanked him and hopped back in the ferry as Duncan and Aedan headed for the large double doors flanked by two well armored Templars.

-O-


	2. Chapter 2 Locked in a box

**Authors Note:**

-O-

**Chapter 2 – Locked in a box**

_**Aedan**_

Duncan and Aedan were left sitting in a waiting room for what seemed like an eternity before a young elven boy in a blue robe entered the room. He looked a bit scared; Aedan thought it was because mages do not see outsiders often.

"First Enchanter has sent me to escort you to his office," the young boy said in a shaky voice, "Knight-Commander Greagoir is waiting as well. Please follow me." Aedan and Duncan followed the lad through the library. The amount of books awed Aedan. Highever had an extensive library but nothing like this. There were just shelves upon shelves of books. He would love to spend a week here just going through the books. He had read every book Highever's library had to offer, especially historical accounts of famous battles. This library may have some books on the old Blights and that could be very useful. If there was time he would have to ask if he could look at them, he had no idea how long Duncan planned to stay here.

They entered a long corridor with several doors. As they walked past Aedan tried to glance in the open doors. Many were empty but a few had classes going on. Aedan stopped for a moment and watched a young girl work on summoning fire to her hand. There were several other young humans and elves working on summoning different elementals in the room. Aedan noticed he had fallen behind and rushed to catch up. Magic had always intrigued him; it started with Nan's ability to heal his wounds. She was a gifted healer and on several occasions had to mend many broken bones and heal a lot of training wounds between Fergus and him. The thought of Nan and Highever brought immediate pain to Aedan. He quickly forced it away. Focus he would tell himself now is not the time. He did not know when a good time would be but it definitely was not in the middle of a hallway behind his new mentor.

As they rounded a corner Aedan started to hear what sounded like two men yelling at each other. He noticed that their guide immediately tensed at the sound. The closer they got to the end of the hallway the more Aedan could make out of the yelling.

"… You went behind my back Irving! What right do you have to contact the Wardens directly on this? It is a Chantry matter."

"We've had this discussion before, I will not leave her to whatever fate the Chantry deems necessary for her. I've told you she's special, I've told you that for 12 damn years. For Maker's sake Greagoir she has never harmed even a fly yet you treat her worse than a blood mage."

"We cannot control her! If she ever turned we can do nothing. Do you honestly think just letting her walk out the door is the best thing for Ferelden or Thedas even? What if the Imperium gets a hold of her?"

"So what, we leave her locked in her room forever over some baseless fear she could turn or the Imperium is going to use her to rule Thedas? Or do you want her dead? Is that it? She is an innocent Greagoir, are you willing to have her blood on your hands? Are you? She's passed every test you've set up, she passed her Harrowing in record time, she's even helped you personally find blood mages within her own ranks yet still you fear her..." The young boy knocked on the slightly ajar door.

"The Grey Wardens are here to speak with you First Enchanter," the young boy stated in squeaky voice. It was now obvious what had the boy so shaken, the argument between the Knight-Commander and the First Enchanter was probably not an everyday occurrence.

"Ah thank you Kevin, please show them in," answered the First Enchanter. The boy beckoned for them to enter before scurrying away down the hall. The office of the First Enchanter was very large with several tapestries on the walls. There were many book cases with books and scrolls haphazardly scattered on the shelves and a large desk covered with even more scrolls and books. The First Enchanter looked very much as Aedan had expected. He was an old man with a long grey beard, his robe was also different. It was much more ornate than the other mages he had seen this far in the Tower. Across the desk was a tall man with greying black hair in full decorative Templar armor that could only be the Knight-Commander. Both men looked weary from the arguing.

"Ah Duncan, it is nice to see you again," said Irving as he stood up and crossed the room to grasp Duncan's hand.

"It has been many years Irving, I trust all is well for you?" inquired Duncan as he looked between the two men. "Greetings Knight-Commander Greagoir, it is pleasure to finally make your acquaintance." Greagoir merely nodded at him, the irritation from the argument still clearly visible on his face. Duncan motioned towards Aedan. "This is one of my recruits, Aedan Cousland." Aedan bowed to the two men. "Now that those formalities are out of the way. I understand you have a potential recruit for me Irving. May I speak with her?"

-O-

They were being led up a narrow spiral stairway by Irving and Greagoir. Aedan was surprised considering overhearing the argument which had occurred that the Knight-Commander did not object or try to stop Duncan in any way from meeting the mage. He remembered reading a long time ago that Grey Wardens could not be denied recruits. He made a mental note to ask Duncan about that later. Aedan counted fifteen Templars station on the way up this stairway. Did one mage really need that much guarding? They reached the top of the stairway to a closed door. Irving reached for the door knob but stopped at the sound he heard. Aedan listened closer, was that laughing or crying? He couldn't really tell. Irving knocked and opened the door. The scene inside was not what Aedan had expected. There seated at a table were two Templars with their helms off and the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The Templars immediately stood up at the sight of Greagoir and muttered their apologies. Greagoir just sighed. The woman spoke then, her voice was very soft and sultry and full of amusement.

"We were just having a good game of Wicked Grace, care to join us?" she asked and smiled sweetly at Greagoir. "I promise not to cheat." Greagoir ignored the woman and glared at the two Templars that had been playing with her.

"I expected better from you Bran and Cullen. I told you to guard her not fraternize with her! Now back to your posts!" roared Greagoir. Both quickly grabbed there helms and headed for the door. The red-haired Templar stopped at the door to look at the girl once more. Aedan noticed the longing in his eyes before he put his helm back on and left the room. Greagoir turned back towards the girl with a disapproving look on his face. The girl held her hand up.

"Before you start yelling, no harm was done. If they are meant to guard me I thought their job would be easier in the room rather in the hallway. I mean, if I'm to just suddenly turn into a scary abomination and start biting heads off people, wouldn't it be best if there was someone there to kill me right when it was happening?" she said sarcastically. "You've had me locked up here all week, I'm lonely and bored. When will I be able to go back to tending the gardens before all my plants die?" She looked past Greagoir and Irving and noticed Duncan and Aedan. Aedan could feel her eyes on him, he felt compelled to meet them. He regretted it the moment he did. Those brilliant green eyes, they seem to look right through him and into his soul. It was as if all the air had been removed from the room and he felt it difficult to breathe. He understood the longing the one Templar had displayed. His very being felt drawn to her, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Kester was modest in his description of her; she was not just pretty; she was breathtaking. She had the most amazing hair color Aedan had ever seen. It was a mixture of reds and gold. Her hair was long and neatly braided in a solo braid that draped over her shoulder to her waist. She was dressed in an emerald and gold robe that accented every feminine curve of her body. Aedan tore his eyes away not wanting to seem like he was gawking.

"And who are these gentlemen? My new guards or have you finally called in the executioners." She looked back at Greagoir and Irving awaiting an answer. Irving spoke up.

"I'm sorry child; this is the Ferelden Grey Warden Commander Duncan." He pointed at Duncan and then beckoned Aedan to step further in the room. "And this is his recruit Aedan Cousland. I have asked Duncan to evaluate you as a potential recruit for the Grey Wardens." The girl seemed thrown off guard by this. She looked between Irving and Greagoir several times before speaking. Her voice was soft, not as confident as earlier. "So this is where my fate lies then," she stated. She pushed her chair back and stood up. She walked to Duncan and curtsied. "I am Amara Amell and I'm ready for my evaluation." She bowed her head waiting for his response. Duncan chuckled.

"No need for formalities my lady." He looked to Greagoir, "You have a training area for the Templars correct?" Greagoir nodded. "Well young lady, let us see what you are capable off."

-O-

The training area behind the Tower was very large. There was a barracks where the Templars lived right next to it. A few Templars were sparing in the main area when they arrived. Greagoir dismissed them so the evaluation could begin. Irving took Amara aside; Aedan overheard the conversation while pretending to be inspecting one of the training dummies.

"I know this is unexpected my dear but I want what is best for you and eventually I will not be able to protect you from the Chantry. The Seekers will come and I will not be able to stop them. This is your way to be free." Amara nodded, she looked distressed and nervous.

"First Enchanter, I have never used my powers to harm anyone. I'm afraid I could hurt someone or that that I am incapable of harming others." Irving wrapped his arms around her and gave her a fatherly hug.

"I have faith in you child that you will do just fine. You've battled demons before, I know you can do this, just remember to stop, do not take it too far." She nodded and took in a deep breath. Irving reached behind him and handed her his staff. "Use my staff; it has more runes than yours."

"Ok First Enchanter, I will do my best." She squared her shoulders and walked into the center of the training ring. A small group of onlookers gathered around the ring. Aedan noticed the red-haired Templar from earlier. His face was marred with concern as he watched Duncan draw his sword and approach Amara.

"Have you ever been in battle before?" asked Duncan.

"Not against humans sir, but I have fought many demons here and in the Fade." Duncan nodded.

"I will start off slow to see where your skills lie but remember darkspawn will never show mercy, this is not a fight to the death but we will be close." Amara just nodded, Aedan noticed her hands were shaking a bit as she held Irving's staff. He felt a knot forming in his stomach, was he actually worried for this woman he just met moments ago?

Duncan circled Amara thrusting his sword at her. Each time she dodged the blade or knocked it away with the staff. This went on for several minutes, Duncan circling her like a wolf would its prey.

"I am not here to test your skills with a staff my lady, show me how you use magic in battle!" Duncan thrust at Amara again and she barely knocked the blade away.

"I don't want to hurt you," she said breathing heavily. It was taking every ounce of her strength to knock his sword away. Aedan watched as Duncan used his shield to slam into her knocking her down on the ground. Her staff had rebounded from the force and split her lip which began to bleed.

"Darkspawn will not show you mercy for your restraint. Bandits and thieves along the road won't be grateful enough to just let you past. Now get up and defend yourself!" Aedan watched as Amara reached up to her lip and pulled her hand back. She looked at the blood with amazement as if it was the first time she had ever been injured. Aedan could have sworn he saw her green eyes glow for a moment as she stood up angrily. She dusted off her robe and wiped the blood off of her lip. Aedan took a moment to glance at the red-haired Templar and saw that he was being restrained by his fellow Templars. Aedan smirked, so much for no mage/Templar relations, he thought with a chuckle. He looked back to see Amara throw the staff on the ground and glare at Duncan.

"You want to see my magic sir, then you shall have it," she stated with an icy calm. In an instant Duncan was thrown across the training area and smashed into a fence near the entrance. No one spoke as the Warden Commander shakily stood up and grabbed his sword and shield.

"Show me more!" he commanded. He charged at her with his sword. Amara didn't run she just stood there calmly with her arms folded. As he raised his sword up to render a blow that would split her skull in two, he was frozen in place. Vines ripped out of the ground from nowhere and encased his legs; others reached up and wrapped themselves around the sword, removing it from his grip. The vines working as hands raised the blade to his throat as he was bound there helpless. Aedan held his breath as he saw his mentor that close to death, he felt he needed to intervene. He stepped forward toward Amara who was just staring at Duncan as the blades pressed against his neck and a small trickle of blood ran down his neck.

"Ah my lady… I do believe he is now aware you are fully capable of defending yourself." Amara shot him an angry look at first then her eyes softened.

"Yes I believe he has…" she said softly. In an instant the vines disappeared and Duncan collapsed on the ground breathing heavy. Aedan saw Amara's hand glow slightly blue and the cuts on Duncan's neck disappeared along with her own split lip. Aedan expected Duncan to be furious when he approached the mage; instead he had a wide grin on his face.

"Very interesting skills! I have not been so easily defeated in any dual. The Wardens could benefit greatly from someone with your abilities. How do you do against multiple opponents? "Duncan asked. Aedan thought it odd he was so excited and happy about almost having his throat cut by vines.

"Pretty much the same," she stated with a confused look on her face. "Sometimes it is easier if there are multiple things to attack, I don't have to be as specific with the use of my magic."

"Most excellent my lady, darkspawn rarely travels solo." Duncan turned to Greagoir and Irving who were standing near the entrance to the barracks. "Gentlemen, may we speak in private?" Duncan and the other two men went back inside the tower. Aedan was left with Amara in the training area. There was an awkward silence for a few moments before Amara spoke.

"So what's it like being a Grey Warden recruit?" she asked. Aedan chuckled at the question, ever since fleeing Highever he never really pondered what being a recruit meant. Aedan flashed her, what he hoped, was a charming smile. "Well milady it's kind of like being a mabari on a leash. So far my career as a recruit has entailed me just following Duncan from Highever to here. I was just recruited five days ago so I am not an expert by any means." She blush slightly when he smiled at her, Aedan was surprised. Here was a woman that could probably kill him before he could draw his swords yet she blushed at his smile. He was about to say something else to her when the red-haired Templar rushed to her side.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" the Templars voice was rather frantic.

"No Cullen, I'm alright… nothing more than a bit of minor healing. See all better," she stuck her lips out. Aedan couldn't help but notice how soft and perfect they looked. The Templar reached his hand up as if to touch them but quickly pulled his hand back and looked around. Aedan raised his eyebrow at this but said nothing, obviously there was something going on between the two. The Templar saw him looking at them and sneered at him.

"Do all Grey Wardens hit women like that?" he said with disdain in his voice. Aedan was getting annoyed with this Templar. He understood why Duncan did it but basically asking if Grey Wardens were a bunch of lechers was a bit much.

"Yes, in between killing hordes of darkspawn we roam the country side looking for women to smack around," Aedan replied sarcastically which got a giggle from Amara. "While I do not condone my Commanders actions, he did what he did to make her actually show us her abilities."

"I'm fine Cullen, and Aedan is right, I was holding back until he made me mad." Amara patted him on the arm. "You best get back to your station, you already got in trouble once today because of me." Cullen glared at Aedan before he took his leave. "Sorry about that, Cullen is a bit over protective."

"I see that," responded Aedan. "Anyway as far as being a Grey Warden is concerned. Duncan hasn't told me a lot other than the basics regarding darkspawn and Blights." Aedan motioned to a bench nearby where they could sit and talk. "If Duncan recruits you, we'll be headed for Ostagar when we leave here."

"Ostagar? We'd be going directly to the battle?" She seemed surprised by this. "Several mages left for Ostagar a few weeks ago to join the Kings army there. I guess I thought there would be some training first before we'd be expected to fight." She seemed to get a bit nervous and somewhat fidgety.

"I think the extent of our training will be 'See darkspawn, kill darkspawn'," he smiled. She seemed to relax a bit and smiled back at him.

"Easy enough to remember I suppose. But I'm not so sure they will let me leave regardless of what Irving said. I just can't see Greagoir letting me leave this place alive." She looked down at her hands then smiled sadly at Aedan. "I'm sure a life of adventure killing darkspawn is preferable to being locked in my room all the time but I'm not going to get my hopes up." Just as Aedan was about to tell her that Grey Wardens couldn't be denied even by a King the door to the tower burst open and Duncan stepped through with Greagoir on his heels.

"… I won't allow this! She is not leaving this tower!" Greagoir shouted.

"You have no authority over the Grey Wardens, I can and will recruit any individual I see fit," responded Duncan calmly. Duncan approached Amara and Aedan with Greagoir and Irving trailing behind him. "Amara Amell, I officially conscript you into the Grey Wardens."

-O-


	3. Chapter 3 Tying up loose ends

**Authors Note:** In my mind Aedan looks like Jake Gyllenhaal when he played Dastan in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time but with better armor I've always wondered why there was no option in the Mage origin to be able to go find out more information about Grey Warden's before you leave for Ostagar so I added that in there. I hope it doesn't feel rushed the interaction between Aedan and Amara… I just want to make sure that there is a bond there before the battle of Ostagar.

-O-

**Chapter 3 – Tying up loose ends…**

_**Amara**_

Ever since Duncan conscripted her, Amara's world was turned upside down. Duncan announced that they would be leaving for Ostagar in tomorrow morning. This only gave Amara one night to pack and settle her affairs at the tower. Irving suggested she go see Senior Enchanter Leorah and get supplies for her journey. Amara rushed to the second floor to where the Senior Enchanter worked. Leorah had been very helpful. She provide Amara with a few new travel robes, a pair of soft leather boots, a new thick wool cloak and several bags and pouches to carry items in.

"I have something that a healer like you would get the most use out of," she said. She disappeared into the storage room for several minutes and came back with a large leather bag that was dyed green. She laid it out counter and opened it. Inside it was several pockets and folds and all different types of vials and bottles. "It's an apothecary bag, you can use it to store herbs and make potions and it's been enchanted with a weight rune here," she pointed to a pattern that looked like it was burned into the leather on the side of the bag. "It will always be as light as a feather no matter how much you have in it."

"Oh wow! Thank you very much Leorah! I will visit the gardens and drying room and pack it full of herbs to make potions while we are on the way to Ostagar." Amara happily gathered her new belongings and headed to her room. She really didn't have many belongings to pack. There was only one thing that truly belonged to her; it was a necklace that she wore when she arrived at the tower twelve years ago. She didn't remember anything before the Templars found her in the woods but she has always assumed that the necklace had been her mothers. It was a beautiful green stone that had been carved into the shape of a tree with a circle around it. There were runes carved into it as well but no one knew what they were for. Irving had several scholars look at it and no one could decipher it. She put it around her neck and tucked it in her robe. She started packing other articles of clothing when there was a knock at her door.

"Come in," she called as she added some of her potion recipe books into one of the bags on the bed. Irving stepped into the room; he was carrying a staff that Amara had never seen. It looks like it was made of Ironbark.

"I have something for you my dear. The First Enchanter before me had been a Dalish elf. This was her staff." He handed it to her, it suited her well. It was light weight and Amara could feel the runes that were imbued into it. "I'm sure it will serve you well in your upcoming battles." Amara leaned the staff against the wall and threw her arms around Irving and started to cry. Irving patted her on the back, "There… there, you are going to be fine. You are free of the Chantry now, you are free to explore your magic and have a life."

"I know… it's just I'm scared. I'm leaving everyone I've ever known. Nothing will be the same ever again." Amara wiped her tears away. "I'm also afraid of the darkspawn, what if I make a mistake and get myself or someone else killed?"

"You can't think like that Amara, you have to stay positive about this," Irving said. "You need to believe in yourself. I know that during your stay here in the tower you have been denied a lot, told not to use your powers or told to do it differently. I want you to try and forget all of that." Amara just stared at him incredulously. "I know it will be hard but I want you to go with your instincts. Your magic is unlike any magic I've ever seen. So you need to trust in yourself, not the Circle teachings, not the Chantry but in that power inside of you." Irving reached a finger up to touch her forehead. "In here lies your truth, nowhere else."

"I will try, it's all so confusing now," she sighed. Irving chuckled.

"You my dear have always been confusing. I need to get back to my office and you need to pack. I will see you again before you leave." Irving gave her a kiss on the forehead and took his leave. Amara sat on her bed and put her head in her hands. She was more scared and confused now than before.

"Trust my instincts…" she muttered. She reached into the neckline of her robe and pulled out the necklace of her mothers. She focused on the necklace and closed her eyes trying to remember what her mother looked like. She could not remember her mother or father or why she had been in the woods. The only thing she remembered when the Templars questioned her was her name… Everything before that was an empty void. She signed and returned the necklace to its spot under her robe. She resumed packing her belongings when the door to her room flew open. She immediately went into a defensive posture as she turned to see who had burst in. Cullen was standing there like a man possessed.

"Cullen? What…" before she could say another word Cullen crossed the room and kissed her feverishly on the lips. She tried to push him away but he was too strong. She had always liked Cullen, she knew he had feelings for her but she never knew they ran this deep. She stopped fighting him and brought her hands up to his chest. Cullen's passion was overwhelming, he kissed her deep and hard, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist pulling her to him. Her knees started to grow weak; no one had ever kissed her like this before. Amara remembered a time when she had wondered and wished for this moment. It felt amazing but then reality hit her hard and the moment was lost. Everything had changed now; she was leaving in the morning… leaving Cullen and the others behind. She pulled away and reached her hand up to stroke the side of his face. In another life she would have been so happy with a man like Cullen.

"You're leaving… you're leaving me," Cullen's voice broke. Tears came to Amara's eyes, she nodded.

"I'm sorry Cullen, I have to." She looked away, "you know this could never be, even if I stayed." He cupped her chin and turned her head to face him.

"Amara, I… "He paused as if searching for the right words, he leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers. "Stay with me tonight," he whispered. "Please." The full repercussions of what he was asking raced through her mind. She took a step away from him; her eyes were wide with shock.

"Cullen I can't… we can't. I care for you but I can't!" She saw the pain of rejection in his eyes. "Please understand," she pleaded with him. Cullen looked away and let his arms drop from her waist. There was a knock on the half opened door.

"Amara I was wondering… oh sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt!" an uncomfortable Aedan started to turn and leave. Amara pushed her self away from Cullen. She knew how bad that must have looked. Oh what he must think of me, she thought.

"Wait Aedan! Did you need something," ask Amara. Cullen abruptly turned and stomped out of the room, shoving past Aedan as he left.

"Maker's sake! What is his problem?" muttered Aedan as he rubbed his shoulder that Cullen had shoved.

"We didn't see eye to eye on something," Amara said softly. "Did you need help with something?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the library and look up Grey Warden and Blight stuff. Duncan's not exactly forthcoming on a lot of things. I thought we could at least get enough information to ask him the right questions." Aedan smiled at her, "besides, it's pretty boring just sitting in my room sharpening my blades for the tenth time." Amara looked at her mostly packed bags; she could finish it up later she thought. It would be best if she wasn't alone incase Cullen came back. She felt bad enough about the situation; she did not want him to come back and have to go through it again.

"Sure, I have a good idea who to ask about Blight documents, Senior Enchanter Sweeney is practically old enough to remember the last one," she joked. The two left for the Library.

-O-

Senior Enchanter Sweeney did not let them down. Within a half an hour they had a stack of books two feet tall stacked on the table in front of them.

"Well… there has to be something in these," commented Aedan. "That's a lot of books; it's too bad they don't have just one small book with all the important stuff in it." Aedan was looking at one of the larger books. "I don't think the secrets of being a Grey Warden is in a book noting equipment assignments." Amara smiled as he flipped through the rest and tossed it onto a nearby table. "I think we are in for a long night."

"That's ok, I'm too nervous to sleep anyway," replied Amara. She started going through a small leather bound book on the First Blight. She took a moment to look at the man sitting beside her. He was handsome; she had noticed him outside the door when Greagoir broke up the Wicked Grace game earlier. His shoulder length dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes had caught her eye. It was the haunted sadness she saw in those eyes that held her attention. She noticed he hid it well but there was a lot of pain in those eyes. He didn't seem like the average mercenary or soldier, even with swords strapped to his back and chain and leather armor on, he handled books like a scholar.

"Hrm, this is odd. Why is it only a Grey Warden that kills the Archdemon? Why not someone else like some soldier named Cain with a pike? And I noticed this; no account of the blight ever mentions the person surviving. Listen to this, 'Dumat was slain by the Grey Wardens in 992 TE upon the Silent Fields. A third of the human armies were destroyed and none of the original Grey Wardens survived.'" Aedan flipped through some more pages. "And here with the second blight, 'Grey Warden Corin defeated the darkspawn. His mage lover and fellow Warden Neriah sacrificed herself, using her own body to shield Corin. She was slain in an instant, but Corin cut through many darkspawn to plunge his blade into the Archdemon. He too was killed.'" Aedan sat back in his chair and ran his hand through his hair. "It's the same for the other two blights, Garahel dies killing the Archdemon of the fourth blight. If Duncan is right, this will be the fifth blight…"

"We will have to ask Duncan about it tomorrow," said Amara. "It's pretty unsettling though, I don't want to think I'm leaving just to be killed a different way. We should also asking about this ritual I keep seeing mentioned called 'the Joining', this book here says that every Grey Warden recruit has to go through it."

The two researched and talked as the evening wore on. She felt quite at ease in Aedan's presence. He was quite charming and very intelligent. Occasionally he would joke and flash her a quick smile and she could feel herself blush. She was also painfully aware of how close he was sitting to her, the smell of sandalwood and leather was intoxicating. As each hour passed, she found it harder to focus on the research and found that she just wanting to know more about Aedan.

"So how did you get conscripted by Duncan?" Amara asked it seemed like a simple enough question. She immediately noticed the change in his demeanor. A myriad of emotions flashed in his eyes, sadness, despair and anger were the most noticeable. He returned the quill he was using for notes to the inkwell and leaned back in his chair. He seemed to be debating on what to say. Amara didn't mean to upset him and immediately apologized, "I'm sorry it's really none of my business, I don't mean to pry."

"No it's alright; if we are going to be traveling together you might as well know." He hesitated for a moment before proceeding." I am Aedan Cousland, son of Bryce Cousland Teyrn of Highever. My family has ruled Highever since the Black Age." Amara just stared at him in shock. "Earlier this week, a family friend Rendon Howe ambushed the castle after my brother Fergus left with the majority of our soldiers to Ostagar. He murdered my family, even my little nephew Oren." Amara gasped and reached out and took his had in hers. Aedan just stared their joined hands for a moment before proceeding. "If it wasn't for Duncan conscripting me and my father ordering me to leave I would have stayed, fought and died there."

"Oh Aedan I am so sorry. I had no idea." Impulsively she leaned over and wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug. She felt him tense up at first then after a moment she felt him wrap his arms around her and return the hug. It was just a simple gesture on her part; she did not know it would have such an impact on him. She felt dampness on her shoulder and realized it was his tears. She just hugged him tighter and rubbed his back as he let out the pain that he had been bottling up for the past week.

Amara did know how long they just sat there like that. The grief ran deep in Aedan, Amara would have sat there all night if she needed to. She hated to see anyone suffer, it tore at her heart. In the short time she has known Aedan; she knows that he is a good man. She hoped Rendon Howe would pay deeply for his crimes against Aedan's family.

Aedan pulled away from Amara, his eyes were red rimmed but in the whole time they embraced, he never made a sound.

"I'm sorry," Aedan said in a quiet voice. He seemed ashamed for showing his grief.

"There is no reason to be sorry Aedan. You just suffered so much loss; you can't keep something like that inside of you." She took ahold of his hands and smiled at him. "We will be brother and sister Warden's soon, if you ever need anything from me don't be afraid to ask. We're in this together and as soon as this darkspawn uprising is taken care of; if you need me to help you avenge your family I will." Aedan looked at her amazed.

"You would help me? You barely know me and you didn't know my family," he stated. Amara just shook her head.

"That doesn't matter; I'm a firm believer in justice. Evil cannot be allowed to flourish anywhere. I think that's why Irving has such faith that I will never turn. I can sense evil, it's part of my magic that makes me different from other mages I suppose," she shrugged. "I've even helped the Templars locate blood mages."

"Well that is… different. Normally mages and Templars are at odds," Aedan commented. "Nan was always terrified the Templars would eventually catch up to her."

"Well, blood magic and demons are something we can agree on. I've faced and dealt with many demons. It is something a mage has to live with due to our magic and connection to the Fade. It is hard enough fighting them off every time we enter the Fade… why practice a form of magic that is a beacon to them?" Amara just shook her head as she reached for another book.

"I think it might be arrogance, thinking they can control it or some people are just driven to power by any means." Aedan commented. "I couldn't imagine being put in a situation like that all the time where you are constantly tempted by them. Do you ever get a good night's sleep?" he asked curiously. Amara laughed as she flipped through the pages of the book.

"Well, after a while it just gets silly. You just know it's a demon. When what you desire shows up in your dream you should always be suspicious. For the most part they leave me alone now, I've killed enough to make them leery of me; but occasionally one will try something and I will have to take action." Amara paused for a moment then reached for her quill.

"Find something else worth asking Duncan about?" Aedan inquired? He had gone through several books but they just seemed to repeat the same information.

"Yes… a recipe of sorts. There is no real explanation of what it's for. The writing is in old Tevinter but it is faded to where I can no longer read it." She copied down the recipe. Aedan leaned closer to read what she was writing. His eyes widened at the last ingredient she wrote down.

"Darkspawn blood! Well that's one potion I'm going to stay away from. Was there anything else in the book?" asked Aedan.

"No there are several missing pages and the ink didn't hold up in a lot of spots. Some of it discussed the first Blight but it's so fragmented it doesn't make sense. I hope Duncan has some answers," she said.

The two continued to go through the remaining books. Several hours later when the candles were nearly out; Amara felt herself dosing off. She tried to fight it as much as she could but after a few minutes she put her head down and the world of the Fade opened up to her. She vaguely could hear someone saying her name before she felt a pair of strong arms pick her up. Then she was floating, encircled in warmth that smelled of sandalwood and leather. She snuggled closer to the warmth, feeling protected as she wandered the Fade.

-O-


	4. Chapter 4 Off to Ostagar

**Authors Note:** Poor Aedan, the guy can't catch a break.

-O-

**Chapter 4 – Off to Ostagar**

**Aedan**

He had tried to wake her up but nothing worked. It must be a mage thing he thought. She must be in the Fade or just a really deep sleeper. He sat there looking at her for a moment wondering what to do. He couldn't very well just leave her here. He packed up their notes and put them in a pouch at his waist and put the books on a cart that was near the entrance. He stood next to Amara's sleeping form trying to figure out what exactly to do. He decided to just try and pick her up and carry her back to her room. Maybe it will wake her up he thought. He bent down and picked her up, his arm wrapped around her back and his other under her knees. She murmured something and shifted in her sleep, one of her arms draped around his neck and her face nestled into the crook of his neck. He could feel her hot breath on his neck and the smell of jasmine from her hair nearly undid him.

"Oh maker," he groaned. This woman was going to be the death of him he thought. He's known her less than a day; no woman has ever affected him his way. Fergus had warned him, but he didn't listen. He always said there was a woman out there he'd be enthralled by. He didn't believe him until he saw her. He had been around beautiful women before, his mother had tossed nearly every eligible girl in Ferelden at him over the years but none of them held his interest. None of them made him feel so relaxed and anxious at the same time. Not one of them made him feel like he couldn't breathe when they were close or make his heart race. When she touched him his skin tingled and when she hugged him his whole world came apart. He always kept his emotions in check but when her arms wrapped around him nothing he could have done would have stopped those tears from coming. Now she was in his arms again and the sensations were overwhelming. Every nerve in his body was on fire. He just stood there in the library for a few moments marveling in her closeness before setting off to take her to her room.

The halls were empty except for a few Templars stationed near the doors. He nodded as he passed them trying not to draw attention as he carried Amara to her room. One of the Templars spoke as he approached the stairs leading to her room.

"She fell asleep in the library again eh?" Aedan nodded. "Well that's one thing we won't have to deal with anymore, carrying her back up those stairs." The Templar removed his helm, Aedan remembered him from earlier, and it was Bran the other Templar that was playing cards with Amara.

"Bran right?" Aedan inquired. The Templar nodded. "So this happens a lot?"

"A couple times a week. When she gets in the Fade it's hard to wake her back up. That's probably something you'll need to know when you are traveling to Ostagar. Just make sure she sets up her glyphs that will wake her up. If not you'll have to carry her around like Cullen's had to over the years." At the mention of the red-haired Templars name Aedan tightened his grip on Amara. Why am I upset? Aedan wondered. He couldn't be jealous of that Templar; it couldn't be that… could it? When he had walked in and saw him standing so close to Amara and her lips slightly swollen from kissing a part of him want to draw his swords and run the Templar through. By the Maker what was happening to him.

"We are sure going to miss her around here. She'll be better off with you Grey Wardens', you'll look out for her right?" asked Bran.

"Of course, she'll be safe with Duncan and me. I better get her to bed; it's going to be a long day tomorrow." He passed the Templar and started to climb the stairs to her room. He reached her room and luckily there was still a candle burning so he could see where he was going. He managed to nudge her bags out of the way and pull down the blanket with one hand while still holding her tight to him. He laid her down on the bed gently, her arm still wrapped around his neck. While he was bent over her he realized her lips were but mere inches from his. He was so tempted; he leaned forward but stopped himself. Again he thought what am I doing? Instead he leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. He untangled himself from her arm and pulled up the blanket. He stood there watching her sleep for a few minutes before blowing out the candle and pulling the door closed quietly behind him. He turned and nearly ran into the red-haired Templar. The man just stood there in the way staring him down.

"Excuse me," said Aedan. He really did not feel like getting into it with this guy, it was late and he already did not like him. He examines the man to see if he was going to need to draw his blades to get down the stairs or not. While he did not look happy, he did not seem aggressive. The two men sized each other up for a couple more moments.

"You're lucky you know that?" Cullen spoke softly. Aedan gave him a confused look.

"Why am I lucky?" Responded Aedan, not sure where this was leading. This man is obviously deeply troubled he thought.

"You are lucky because you get to be with her… she is free now, there is no Chantry to stop her. If you win her heart there is nothing to prevent you from being together. I could never have that." Aedan felt an overwhelming sense of pity for this man suddenly. He was right; he never could since he was a Templar and she was a mage. It was obvious that he was in love with Amara. "Promise me you will take care of her. Promise me you will protect her with your own life if necessary." Cullen pleaded with him.

"I promise," said Aedan. It was an easy promise to make; he already had planned on it.

"Thank you," responded Cullen. He turned and walked back down the stairs leaving Aedan standing outside Amara's door.

-O-

If felt like he had just shut his eyes to sleep when someone was banging on his door for him to get up for breakfast. Aedan sat up and wiped the sleep from his eyes. Yesterday had been such a confusing day; he had a hard time getting to sleep after leaving Amara's room. He couldn't stop thinking about her and what happened in the library. It was crazy he thought. This is not the time or place to be even thinking about this. It was an eight day walk to Ostagar from the Circle Tower, eight days until he could be in battle. Why was he even thinking about her like that? He splashed some cold water on his face from the basin on the table. There was another knock on the door.

"I'm awake," he called. "I'll be down to breakfast shortly."

"Aedan… It's me, may I come in?" At the sound of her voice his heart started pounding.

"Uh, sure give me a moment." He realized he was standing there in his smalls and started frantically searching for his pants and shirt. He quickly dressed and opened the door. There she stood, dressed for travel with her hair pulled back loosely in a bun. She took notice of his disheveled appearance… shirt unbuttoned and hair tangled and smirked. He felt her eyes on him; she seemed to focus on his chest for a moment. Aedan felt his cheeks redden slightly.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you. I just wanted to say thank you for taking me back to my room last night." She seemed embarrassed. "Normally I remember to cast glyph so if there is movement anywhere around me, it pulls me out of the Fade."

"It was no problem…" His voice was huskier than he wanted it to be. Maker she is so close, the scent of jasmine drifted through the air. He felt his chest constrict as he noticed her looking at his chest again.

"You have a very large scar," she stated softly. She removed her glove and reached out and traced a finger along an old jagged scar he had just below his collar bone. Aedan just stood there frozen; he didn't know what to do. His mouth was incredibly dry, he cleared his throat.  
"A… it's an old training scar… Fergus got in a lucky blow…" he said. Her touch was as light as a feather but it felt like open flame touching his skin.

"Here let me fix it for you," she said. She removed her other glove.

"You can do that? I thought once it was healed there was no way to make it go away," he said, sounding a bit unconvinced.

"I can if you will let me, healing is one of my specialties," she said.

"I'd like to see you try," he smiled. She grabbed his hand and led him to the chair near the bed. Aedan followed without resistance and had a seat in the chair. Amara knelt down to the side of the chair.

"Take off your shirt," she said.

"Pardon?" he choked.

"It will make it easier for me to see where the scar starts and ends." Aedan slipped the shirt off and leaned back in the chair. He was lost at this point, if she would have asked for the pants too he would have striped them off. She reached up and laid both hands on the scar on his chest. When she did that he couldn't help but intake a sharp breath. That caused her to look up at him. Their eyes met and Aedan was sure he saw her eyes glow green for a moment just like the yesterday with Duncan. Then he felt it, a warm tingling sensation where the scar was. He looked down to see a faint blue glow around her hands. He closed his eyes for a moment trying to not notice how close she was and how erotic it was to have her kneeling beside him like this. The warmth intensified to where it was just bearable then it stopped. Aedan looked down to see she had removed her hands and the scar he had carried for nearly a decade was gone.

"That's amazing!" he said as he felt the new skin where the scar had been. Amara was already on her feet and putting her gloves back on. She smiled at him. "Thank you, you didn't have to do that."

"Yes I did and again, thank you for not leaving me in the library all night." She leaned down and gave him the brief kiss on the cheek then turned to leave. "I'll see you at breakfast, you best hurry. Duncan's going to want to leave soon." And with that she left leaving a confused Aedan scrambling to pack his belongings.

-O-

Aedan stood next to Duncan outside the Circle Tower as Amara said tearful goodbyes to her friends and walked away from the only home she has known. Aedan noticed the red-haired Templar was nowhere to be found. After several minutes, Amara joined them. Her eyes were red and swollen and she just stared at the ground as they made their way toward the docks. When they reached the docks, Kester helped them on to the ferry.

"I'm sorry to see ye go milady," old Kester said. "You'll be better off with these Wardens." Amara managed a weak smile.

"I hope you are right," she said softly. She settled into one of the back seats and stared off into the distance. Aedan watched her for a moment then moved to sit next to her. She had comforted him last night. It was time for him to return the favor. He slowly and cautiously put his arm around her; she didn't flinch or reject him. Instead she leaned in closer and rested her head on his shoulder. He leaned in and said "Everything is going to be alright, you are not alone in this remember. We are in this together."

She looked up at him and asked, "Do you really mean that?"

"Yes I do and I will do anything I can to protect you when we reach the battle," he said with conviction. Amara smiled at him.

"Thank you Aedan." She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. Aedan looked up and noticed the odd looks from Duncan and Kester. He stared them down and didn't flinch under their gaze. He didn't care what they thought; he meant every word he said. Eventually both men turned around and ignored them. Aedan was sure from the look Duncan gave him there was going to be discussion in the future. It was the same kind of look his father would give him when he had something to say but didn't want to talk about it in front of others.

When they reached the other side, Aedan stayed close to Amara. She seemed more fidgety the farther from the tower they were. Aedan couldn't imagine what she was feeling. He had traveled a lot with his family and spent many of his days out hunting and camping in the woods near Highever. This was her first time out, she must be afraid. They stopped at the Spoiled Princess so Duncan could check for messages and they needed a few more supplies before heading to Ostagar.

"It stinks in here," whispered Amara to Aedan as they sat at a table waiting for Duncan. Aedan smirked at her comment.

"Aye, most pubs do. It's the ale and the piss." He pointed to a drunkard in the corner. It was obvious he had soiled himself as he hung over his spilled mug of ale.

"Disgusting," she muttered. "Why would anyone drink something that makes them act like that?" Aedan laughed.

"Not everyone that drinks ale ends up like that man. You've never had any have you?" Amara gave him an offended look.

"Of course not, the Chantry forbids mages from drinking," Amara said. "What if a drunken mage decided to burn the pub down? It also makes weak mages more susceptible to turning." Aedan couldn't argue the logic of that.

"I see your point but one mug of ale is probably harmless. Next pub we stop in you at least have to try a sip." He gave her a crooked smile. She looked at him suspiciously. "Just a sip?" she asked. Aedan nodded.

"Well I don't see what harm a sip will do," she looked unsure of herself. "Just one, nothing more," she stated. Aedan just smiled. She is so innocent he thought. It was such alluring quality of hers. Duncan approached them at the table.

"It is time we head out. Well follow Lake Calenhad to the south. We should be able to reach the Hinterlands in six days." Aedan stood up and offered Amara his hand. He could see the fear in her eyes as Duncan turned to exit the pub. Aedan held on to her hand after she was standing.

"Remember, we're in this together right?" She looked at him; she relaxed a bit and nodded. "Good, let's not keep Duncan waiting." They secured their packs and exited the pub after Duncan.

-O-

"The man is relentless," grumbled Aedan as they followed Duncan along the lake shore. They had been walking for hours with no real breaks. They stopped a couple times so Amara could heal blisters on her feet but other than that it had been a constant push south. The landscape was rather barren as well, no trees just small brush and grass. Amara was exhausted; she tripped over a root and nearly fell. Aedan barely caught her in time.

"Duncan, we need to stop and rest," called Aedan. Duncan was several yards ahead of them. Duncan shook his head. "We can rest when we set up camp for the night." Aedan was about to argue when Amara laid her hand on his.

"Don't, he'll probably make us walk all night if you do. I have something that might help." She rummaged through her green bag and pulled out two small vials of a golden liquid.

"What are these," he asked.

"Endurance potions, I packed a couple before we left the tower," she said. "They don't taste very good but they should get a few more miles. " Aedan nodded and quickly drank the potion. He could feel the effects almost immediately. Amara drank hers as well and shuttered at the taste.

"Well if you can drink these, ale won't be a problem," Aedan joked. Amara rolled her eyes at him before grabbing his arm and pulled him toward Duncan who was waiting up the path for them.

The endurance potion helped get them through the rest of the day. The arrived at small crop of rocks near the shore of the lake, it was near dusk.

"We will camp here for the night," announced Duncan. Without another word he started unpacking his bedroll. Aedan dropped his pack on the ground and sat down for a few minutes. Duncan was walking faster and trying to cover more ground than he was when they were in route to the Circle of Magi. Aedan looked to see where Amara was, she was sitting on a large rock near the lake running her fingers through the water.

"It seems like we are hurrying more than we were on our journey from Highever," Aedan stated. "Is there a reason for that?" He asked Duncan as he started to unpack his bags. Duncan was arranging some small rocks in a circle for a fire pit; he stopped and looked at Aedan.

"I received word when we stopped at the Spoiled Princess that the scouts have seen multiple hordes of darkspawn in the Wilds. The attacks have been more frequent and there are several missing scouting parties…"

"Was there any word regarding my brother and the King and what happened at Highever?" Duncan shook his head.

"I doubt that messenger has arrived yet. They were only a day or two ahead of us." Amara approached the two as they worked on setting up camp.

"There's a small creek on the other side of the hill. I'm going to go wash up and then gather some wood for a fire," she stated.

"How do you know there is a creek over there? You've never been here before," asked Duncan. Amara just smiled and said "I can sense it." She searched through her gear for some items and a small bag leaving them perplexed as she walked towards the hill. Aedan had noticed a change in her. The farther away they were from the Tower the more the changes were evident. Initially she was scared, almost hesitant to leave but once they were on the road she seemed happy, almost joyous at times. She was also very distracted like she was listening to a conversation he could not hear. Now she seemed to be gaining a confidence that surprised Aedan. She seemed to be well within her element out here on the country side. Still, he didn't like her off by herself. Aedan watched anxiously as she disappeared over the hill.

"Maybe I should scout it out… make sure it's safe," said Aedan.

"I'm sure no harm will come to her. She bested me in a dual, she'll be fine. I don't sense any darkspawn either," responded Duncan. "We need to discuss a few things anyway." Aedan didn't like how that sounded. He felt a lecture coming.

"I see you two have grown pretty close in a very short amount of time," commented Duncan. Oh great, thought Aedan. Here it comes… He could help but feel defensive about it.

"Is that a problem?" Aedan responded coolly.

"Maybe… maybe not," said Duncan. "Life as a Warden is not an easy one. There are many sacrifices, some with a heavy cost."

"Then shouldn't one take what happiness they can get? I was trained as a soldier Duncan, I understand the risks. Death happens," Aedan said.

"Aye you can look at it that way but be aware of this… if it ever appears the battle is lost and you will die and she is there, you must not let the darkspawn take her. There are fates worse than death Aedan. Under no circumstance can she be taken, do you understand me? You would need to end her life."

"There has to be another option!" exclaimed Aedan.

"Do you know how darkspawn breed Aedan?" asked Duncan.

"No, we even did some research before leaving the Circle, none of the books had any information on that." Duncan sat down on a nearby rock and ran his hand through his hair.

"Grey Warden's keep many secrets, we have to or the common folk would panic. What I'm about to tell you stays with you. I will tell Amara when it is time, are we clear?" Aedan nodded. "There are female darkspawn but pray that you never see them. They are in the far reaches of the Deep Roads. They are not born they are created. The darkspawn raid villages and take the women; human, elf, dwarf and Qunari. These women are tainted and raped repeatedly by the darkspawn until they change into Broodmothers. These creatures can birth thousands of darkspawn. Each race produces a different type of darkspawn." Aedan was horrified. He felt like he was going to be sick.

"Why?" he choked out. "Why did you recruit her if you knew that could happen to her?"

"As a Grey Warden you have to do anything regardless of the cost to end the Blight. I recruited her because she is one of the most powerful mages I've ever seen. She could be what we need to end this Blight quickly. And for that, I'm willing to risk it." Duncan got up and walked to the lake, his back to Aedan. "You said you would protect her in battle, if you intend on honoring that you need to protect her from being taken. You need to be prepared for that possibility."

Aedan was in a state of anger, disgust and fear. The thought of that happening to Amara made him feel physically ill. He looked to the hill again, she was still not back. A sense of dread started to fill him. He quickly got to his feet and without another word to Duncan he left to find her.

-O-


	5. Chapter 5 Powers awaken

**Authors Note:** This chapter turns a bit dark at the end. Amara is losing control.

-O-

**Chapter 5 – Powers awaken**

**Amara**

Freedom, there was no way to describe it. Ever since they left the Spoiled Princess, Amara started to feel the weight of the Tower lifting off her shoulders. The fear she had melted away with every step she took towards her new life as a Warden. The soil and grass under her feet grounded her, she felt whole; as if a piece of her had been missing and she had just found it. She wanted nothing more but to go lie in the grass and stare at the clouds. She knew that was not possible, not at the pace Duncan kept. She started to hear whispers on the wind. At first she thought she was just hearing things but they became stronger and stronger. The voices grew louder the closer to the tree line. It sounded like singing; nothing she had ever heard could describe it. She strained to hear it, to understand it… then it dawned on her what was making the noise. It was the trees, she could hear the trees. She didn't tell him; many times Aedan asked her if she was alright. She would just nod and smile. He would think that I'm mad if I told him, she thought.

She didn't want Aedan to think she was some type of freak beyond the fact she was a mage already. He seemed very accepting of her and her abilities but she thought singing trees would be too much. She was afraid to scare him away. In the last day she felt herself start to depend on him. He had promised her he would protect her in battle and reassured her that they were in this together… she did not want to lose that. She also could not deny the growing attraction to him. She had crushes on men before; Cullen was one that went on for many years. She knew nothing could become of that but Aedan was different. She was no longer confined by Chantry rules. If she wanted to, she could be with him… well if that's what he wanted as well. She could tell she had an effect on him, she could sense it when she touched him to heal his scar. The way his breath hitched in his chest when she laid her hands on him and that look… there had been an intensity there she could not deny. Still here they were, rushing to Ostagar to fight in a battle that could end them both. This was not the time or place and she best accept that. It just wasn't that easy. She kept finding herself stealing glances at him as they followed Duncan down that path. When she stumbled and almost fell he was there, wrapping his strong arms around her before she hit the ground. She found herself reveling in his touch and his scent for that brief moment. A moment that was over too quickly for her; she wished she could spend hours in his arms.

She had gotten use to the singing voices of the trees in the wind when they had stopped for camp. She was exhausted so she sat on a rock near the lake. As she ran her fingers through the water she felt better. It was almost as if she had drunk another endurance potion. The water shimmered around her fingers, when she closed her eyes she saw it; a small creek about a couple hundred yards away. It was as if it was beckoning her to come and enjoy the cool cascading water. She left Duncan and Aedan rather abruptly; the call of the water was all she could think about. She grabbed a towel and her bag of soaps and oils and headed toward the creek.

-O-

The creek and the crop of trees surrounding it were beautiful. Dark green moss grew on the stones near the creek and the water was pure and glimmering in the fading sunlight. It was truly peaceful here; Amara felt her cares drift away. She found an area where the creek pooled a bit that was deep enough for her to bathe in. She striped off her clothes, and climbed into the small pool. She felt fulfilled in a way she never experienced before. She felt energized as if she could move mountains and turn night to day. Her magic started to pulse through her body. It had never done this before, the sensations were overwhelming. With a sigh she submerged herself in the pool. As she sunk to the bottom, she was vaguely aware she was not holding her breath; she just didn't need to breathe. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensations that coursed through her body.

Visions started to form in her mind's eye. She saw a lush forest filled with the remnants of an older civilization. The ruins were overgrown with vegetation and crumbling to the elements. The scene started to change the ruins were no longer that but instead beautiful structures with vibrant paints and glistening silks decorating the windows. The area was empty except for a man who was sitting on a bench outside one of the buildings. He was a very handsome man in his late forties with dark auburn hair with golden highlights, similar to hers. He looked familiar to her, and then he turned and looked at her with her own vibrant green eyes. Her heart told her his identity then, "Father!" she called. He smiled at her then raised a finger to his lips to silence her. His voice was deep and commanding.

"Listen," was all he said.

There was a flash of white light and she opened her eyes to the stones at the bottom of the pool. She swam back to the top, as soon as her head broke through the top of the water the sounds she had been hearing all day had changed. She closed her eyes and listened to the trees. She could understand bits and pieces. Most of chatter was about the lack of rainfall this season. Other voices expressed annoyances at the animals that lived in their branches or fears ranging from fire, men or worry for their seedlings. Amara was in awe as this new world opened up. It was so much information; her mind could barely process it all. She tried to focus on specific ones, it was difficult at first but it was easier the more she tried.

She wanted to stay there and listen all day but she knew she had to get back to camp soon before they started looking for her. She quickly washed her hair and the rest of her body before climbing from the pool to dry off. She had just put her smalls and robe back on when the trees started talking about the man with swords coming over the hill. Aedan must be coming to find her she thought. She had just finished combing her hair when she heard him call her name.

"I'm over here," she called. She started packing up her items when he appeared from behind some bushes that grew near the stream. His face was mess of emotions; worry, fear, relief and something else she couldn't quite figure out. She stood up as he rushed towards her.

"Aedan? Is everything alright?" He didn't say anything; instead he pulled her into an embrace. Amara was dumbfounded at his actions. "Aedan what's wrong?" she asked as he took a step back as if embarrassed by what he had done.

"I was worried; you were gone a long time." He looked at her a bit sheepishly.

"I'm fine," she muttered. "For Makers sake I was only a little ways away… what could of happened?"

"You have no idea," he said quietly as he squatted down to help her gather her belongings as she sat down to put her stockings and boots back on.

"You do know I'm not completely helpless? I am a mage remember?" she said. Part of her was annoyed by his overprotectiveness, yet another part thought it was endearing. Something was obviously bothering him to make him act this way. She wondered what happened back at camp to make him so upset. Amara stood up and straightened her robe.

"Look I know you're not helpless, it's just…" He ran his fingers through his hair and looked up at her. Amara felt her heart speed up when his eyes met hers. "Are you sure about becoming a Warden? I mean you're out of the tower, you can go anywhere." Amara just stared at him in disbelief; she couldn't believe what he was saying.

"If I did that, I would be an apostate. Eventually the Templars would find me and either kill me or make me tranquil. They have my phylactery. It's in Denerim; they would use it to hunt me down. Not to mention the Warden's would be after me too. Why would you even ask me that?" Amara asked angrily, she could have busted out of the Tower many times with Anders and William Surana but she never did because she knew it was futile; they would find her eventually.

"I'm sorry, I just… we're going into war, a lot can happen, we could get separated or the battle could be hopeless. What if I can't protect you?" He had a desperate look on his eyes. Amara felt her anger melt away. He was genuinely scared for her.

"Then I will have to protect myself. My magic will protect me if all else fails. I'm changing Aedan, from the moment I left the Tower today my magic is different. It seems stronger. So please don't think that I am some weak woman that you have to coddle. We are in this together remember." She watched him for a moment before asking. "Did Duncan say something to you? Is that why you acting this way?" She could tell by how he closed off his expression that something had happened and he was not going to talk about it.

"Duncan just commented that we have grown close in a short amount of time," was all he would say. Amara put her hands on her hips and huffed.

"Well I don't see where that is any of his business," she said, not bothering to conceal her agitation. "I should have thrown him into the wall instead of the fence," she muttered. That earned her a humorous smile from Aedan.

"Remind me not to make you mad at me," he laughed.

"Then don't talk about me running away and you will be safe," she said. He didn't realize how much his suggestion had hurt her. She didn't run away, she was no coward. No matter how poorly Greagoir had treated her she always had faith that nothing would come of it. If she did run, she would be just proving he was right about her.

"You're right, I'm sorry for even suggesting it," he said. "Just promise me…" he paused and took her hand in his. "Promise me that you will listen to me when we are at Ostagar and if we are in battle that you stay close and behind me no matter what happens, ok?" Amara looked down at their joined hands and felt shivers race up her arm and down her spine. She felt her magic start to pulse again, the sensation roared through her body. She looked up at Aedan, he was staring at her his eyes wide. She felt the vibrations race down her arm and into her hand and into Aedan. She didn't know what was going on, she tried to stop, to pull her hand away but it didn't stop. Aedan stood there as if frozen his eyes closed now and his breathing was labored. Tears flooded out of Amara's eyes as she frantically tried to pull her hand free.

"No! No please stop," she cried. She reached over to try and grab a small tree nearby to use as leverage to pull herself away from Aedan. As soon as she touched it she was thrown to the ground freeing herself from Aedan. She crawled to Aedan's side and started shaking him.

"Aedan! Please wake up!" When he didn't move she started checking him, making sure he was breathing and there was no damage. She was almost afraid to use her magic, afraid that it would go wild again and hurt him more but she had to make sure he was alright. A gentle blue glow emanated from her hands as she systematically checked every vital organ and bone in his body. Everything was working as it should, yet he still was unconscious. She noticed a faint green glow under his hand, the one that had just connected them. She gently took his hand and turned it over. On his palm was a glowing green rune. She had never seen anything like the rune; it was a very intricate geometric pattern she was not familiar with. She quickly looked at her own palm and there was nothing there.

She reached her hand up to touch his face. "Aedan please wake up… I'm so sorry," she sobbed. She bent over and clutched his chest and cried. She didn't know what to do… "I'm sorry," she whispered over and over. A hand rested on the back of her head causing her to startle. She sat up as Aedan awoke; he seemed disorientated but otherwise unharmed.

"Aedan!" she exclaimed. "I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to hurt you." He looked at her for a moment, then pushed himself away from her, fear in his eyes. Amara saw that fear and buried her face in her hands. Not Aedan, she thought. He was lost to her now she thought; he was afraid of her now.

"What did you do to me?" he asked angrily. "What is this?" He thrust his hand out in front of him displaying the rune.

"I… I don't know," she said quietly, not meeting his eyes. "My magic is different outside the tower, I lost control of it," she stated numbly. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs.

"What the hell does that mean _different_? What is going on?" he demanded. She couldn't look at him. She didn't want to see the look of anger and disgust in his eyes. She might as well tell him what has been going on… it didn't matter anymore; he already thought the worst of her. She started telling him about the trees then the pool and seeing a man she felt was her father. She recited the events of the day with a detached voice, never once making eye contact with him. There was silence when she was done. Then Aedan finally spoke.

"Why didn't you say anything? How was I supposed to protect you when I have to protect myself from you?" he said coolly. It was like a smack across her face. She abruptly stood and grabbed her belongings and started to leave.

"Where are you going?" he asked. "This conversation is not over." Amara turned to him, her eyes reflecting the pain she felt.

"Yes it is. I'm going to make sure I'm not a threat to you or anyone else." She disappeared behind the trees. She thought she heard Aedan call after her but she doubted it. The only thing she did hear was the trees. All they kept repeating was a single word, champion. She tried to ignore it as she walked steady and quickly back to camp. Her determination on what to do growing with each step.

When she arrived at camp Duncan was sitting next to a small fire in the stone pit he had made earlier. She didn't even notice Aedan approaching from the hill. Duncan looked up at her barely acknowledging her before returning his gaze to the fire.

"I need to return to the Circle Tower," she stated. Duncan continued to stare at the fire.

"Why?" he asked.

"I cannot control my magic anymore. I injured Aedan unintentionally. I am a danger to anyone around me. I need to go back to the Tower," she said, her voice full of conviction.

"No," Duncan responded.

"What do you mean no?" demanded Amara. "Did you not hear me? I am losing control, they need to make me tranquil or kill me." Duncan stood up and faced her.

"I heard you just fine and my answer is no. You have been conscripted, there is no going back." Amara just stared at him. She could not believe he was refusing her this. She reached into the herb bag on the ground near her feet and pulled out her harvesting knife. She offered the blade to Duncan.

"Then kill me here," she said tilting her head to bare her neck to him. Aedan who had been standing there listening to the conversation grabbed the blade from her hand and tossed it in the lake. She looked at them both and asked, "How can you refuse me this? It is for your own safety."

"Wardens do what they must to end the Blight," he said. "You are too powerful a mage to not use against the darkspawn. If there is collateral damage from you losing control then so be it." Duncan turned away and gazed out over the lake, "You will honor your obligations to the Grey Wardens, if you feel the need to die then do it on the battlefield at Ostagar. Then your death will have some purpose." Amara's shoulders slumped in defeat, tears started to stream down her cheeks. She bent down and retrieved her belongings and walked to the farthest area at the parameter of camp. With her back to Aedan and Duncan she drew her staff and cast multiple glyphs around herself before unrolling her bed roll and lying down. She did not speak or move the rest of the night.

-O-


	6. Chapter 6 Regrets and rewards

**Authors Note:** I hope it doesn't seem like I'm rushing things… I have my reasons

-O-

**Chapter 6 – Regrets and rewards**

**Aedan**

It had been three days since she had spoken to anyone. Three days since Duncan had told her she was no more than a weapon of the Grey Wardens. She did not eat with them, she did not sleep near them and when they were on the road, she walked at least twenty paces behind them. Aedan was no longer angry… that had stopped when he got back to camp that night. When she drew that blade and offered her throat to Duncan his heart had stopped. He was prepared to fight Duncan that instant if he had so much as reached for the blade. When Duncan did not react, he did and tossed the blade in the lake. There was no way he was going to let anything harm her, regardless of what he said near the creek. He wished he could change how he reacted, the regrets he felt were consuming him. No harm had come to him; he acted purely out of fear. When he saw her eyes glow green and felt the tingling in his hand and arm, he panicked. The sensation was not unpleasant if anything he felt stronger and he had to admit in a way it was pleasurable but when it would not stop the world went black. The way he behaved when he awoke was deplorable he thought. It was obvious she was upset and in misery over what had happened yet he did not offer any comfort, instead he lashed out at her.

It was obvious to him now that something was beginning between the two of them. He had felt drawn to her from the first moment he laid eyes on her and he thought she felt it to. The way she looked at him when she thought he wasn't paying attention and the way she reacted when they touched; it was clear she felt the same way. Very quickly they were coming together and Aedan had taken this delicate thing between the two of them and smashed it to pieces that day in the woods.

He took his glove off to look at the rune now imbued into his palm. It had been itching lately, a constant irritant to remind him of that night. The color had faded over the past few days, much the same way Amara had faded… nothing more than a shadow. Aedan looked over his shoulder at Amara; she had her hood up hiding her face, her head bowed down as she walked behind them. Aedan signed.

"Damn it," he muttered. He didn't know how to fix this or if it could even be mended. He had to talk to her, apologize for his actions. It couldn't go on like this; he hated to see her like this, her self-imposed isolation was wearing on him. He finally admitted to himself that he missed her. He didn't realize how much he missed just talking to her until there was silence. It wasn't just the conversations they have had, it was the little things he missed the most. The way hair smelled of jasmine, the way she smiled and her musical laugh; most of all he missed her touch. Just the way her hand brushed against his when they were walking next to each other was noticeably lost to him. How did this happen? How did this woman he hardly knew make him feel such loss? With his family gone, was he using Amara to fill that void? He asked himself these questions over and over again. The only thing that was clear was he needed to fix this and he needed to do it today. Duncan had been leaving the camp in the evenings to scout the area for traces of darkspawn, he would do it then.

-O-

He waited until Duncan had been gone for a while before approaching her. His throat was dry and his heart raced as he walked towards her area of the camp. She was laying on her bedroll with her back to him. She looked so small lying there, vulnerable. He didn't know how to begin so he simply sat down next to her. She did not move or otherwise acknowledge his presence.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "What I said to you was horrible and I've regretted it the moment it left my lips." She said nothing. He reached over to touch her shoulder and she flinched away from his touch. That small movement pained him more than he cared to admit. He was determined to resolve this tonight. He hesitated then reached for her again. "Please Amara, let me make this right." His hand rested on her shoulder, this time she did not pull away.

"Why?" she said in a small voice.

"Look at me," he asked. She didn't move, "please?" he pleaded. She slowly sat up; she turned towards him but did not look at him. Aedan lifted her chin with his finger, she looked at him with such pain and torment it made his heart hurt.

"Why do you care Aedan? You heard Duncan; I am just a means to an end." Aedan shook his head. "It's true, you were there. He doesn't care how many innocents die as long as I kill darkspawn too," she said bitterly. "I have never lost control of my magic in the twelve years I was in the tower, not once." She grabbed his hand and pointed to his palm. "This should have never happened. I was powerless to stop it. I could have killed you."

"But you didn't, I'm fine," replied Aedan.

"You don't know that, I don't know that," she stated. "I have no idea what that rune means or does. It could kill you tomorrow for all I know. Something has gone wrong with me, my magic. I hear things constantly, sometimes I feel as though I'm going mad. I hear trees talking. I know things that I shouldn't like where water is or where every animal is in the forest. I feel the magic getting stronger every day; it pulses through me just waiting to be released. This is not normal… and I'm…" she trailed off. She looked down at her hands.

"You're what?" asked Aedan. He couldn't even imagine what she was going through with this. He knew magic was dangerous but Amara was Irving's most gifted. If she was saying that what was happening to her was not normal he was concerned.

"I'm scared," she said softly. The fear in her voice caused him to act. Aedan reached for her then and wrapped his arms around her. She did not fight him but sat there stiffly as he pulled her to him. He had taken his armor off earlier so he was able to pull her tight to his chest. With her pressed against him he felt the void that had been created the last three days fill. He felt her relax some in his arms; Aedan hoped that meant she had forgiven him some.

"I'm so sorry I said that to you the other day," he said as he held her. "If I could take it back I would in a heartbeat," he murmured into her hair, the sweet smell of jasmine overwhelming his senses. He felt possessiveness within him as he held her. He did not understand where this emotion was coming from, they had only just met days ago but he felt it at his very core.

"You hurt me Aedan," she whispered. "More than you can know."

"I won't do it again I promise." He pulled away from her and cupped her face in his hands. "Look at me," he coaxed. Her vibrant green eyes slowly met his. "I promise, please believe me." Amara just stared at him with all of the pain and now confusion in her eyes.

"Why make that promise?" she asked. Aedan instincts and mind were at war. A part of him knew she would never hurt him. That was also the part that felt so fulfilled when she was near. Being physically separated her for the past few days had been almost painful at times… he just wanted to hold her hand or just sit next to her. His mind was warning him, telling him how dangerous the situation was, how he should stay away. He decided not to listen to that side anymore.

Still holding her face in his hands he leaned down and faintly brushed his lips across hers. When she didn't pull away he brought his lips down on hers; gently at first until he felt her kiss him back. His hands dropped from her face; he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap where he deepened the kiss. Amara wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers caressing the hair on the back of his neck sent shivers down his spine. He felt the same kind of tingling vibration he felt in the woods. He was too lost in her kisses to be afraid. The sensation actually amplified everything he was feeling. Instead of fear or pain he felt pleasure. A very primal part of him wanted to finish this, to throw her back on the bedroll and bury himself deep inside of her and hear her cries of ecstasy. Too soon he thought... everything is happening too fast. It was the only coherent thought he had since they started kissing. He slowly broke the kiss and pulled away far enough so he could look at her. Her eyes were slightly glazed over but she was looking at him with passion and affection in her eyes. Her lips were swollen and parted slightly. He could not stop himself from kissing her again before resting his forehead on hers. He was breathing heavily and so was Amara. It was taking all of his willpower and strength to not continue this. He was fighting the primal urges that were racing through him now. He had never felt this way before about anyone.

"We need to stop or I won't be able to," Aedan stated his voice husky with desire. Amara reached up and stroked his cheek. She kissed him softly on the lips and nodded. He could tell she was having a difficult time as well. "I care for you," he said as he pulled her close to his chest. He grabbed her hand and put it over his heart. "As long as this still beats, I will do anything to protect you… even from yourself." She looked up at him shocked he would say such a thing.

"Aedan…" she started but he silenced her with a kiss.

"I told you we are in this together. Please never speak of turning yourself over to the Chantry again." Amara looked away from him, the shame apparent in her expression. "And as far as the Grey Wardens… if they treat you poorly or put you in unnecessary danger then we are leaving, I don't care if they come after us… We can go to the Free Marshes they will never find us." She looked back at him, her eyes wide. Her expression was unreadable; she seemed very guarded as if she couldn't believe what he had said.

"Do you mean that?" she asked. Her voice was barely above a whisper and full of uncertainty.

"Every word," he said with conviction before leaning forward and kissing her deeply. He broke the kiss and stroked her cheek. "Regardless of what happens, we are in this together." She looked at him her eyes were glistening with unshed tears; she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. Aedan was enjoying her kisses when he noticed a tingling sensation in his other hand, the one without the rune. He broke the kiss and looked at his hand; in the center of it was another rune similar to the one on his right hand. Amara saw what he was looking at and let out a cry.

"Not again," she cried. She tried to push herself from Aedan but he wasn't going to let her go. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. She was trembling as he held her.

"Shhh… Everything is going to be alright. I'm ok, in fact I feel better than ok." He tried to reassure her. He wasn't lying, he felt amazing right now. He broke the embrace and used his thumb to wipe away her tears. "I think there is a reason for these runes, we might be able to find someone at Ostagar that can tell us what they are."

"You're not hurt?" she asked with a disbelieving tone.

"Quite the opposite," he said. He quickly stood up and pulled her to her feet as well. He then did something unexpected and swept her off her feet and twirled her around. She felt like she weighed nothing, he could tell that his strength had increased. His grabbed onto her waist and lifted her up over his head. Amara let out a squeal.

"Aedan put me down!" Amara said breathlessly. He slowly lowered her down; she slid down his chest until her feet finally reached the ground. He arms wrapped around her as he drew her to him, he bent down and kissed her affectionately.

"I told you, I feel good. Well better than good actually… I know I'm stronger than before so maybe these runes are not a bad thing. I told you I would protect you, maybe your magic made me stronger so I could do that?" Aedan was sure of it even though Amara was looking at him skeptically. Aedan chuckled. "Don't give me that look. Do you have any better ideas?" She pulled away from him and retrieved her staff from her belongings. There were a bunch of intricately carved runes all over it. She showed him the runes describing each rune as her fingers roamed over the carvings.

"As you can see each rune has a purpose but this is an object Aedan, not a person. The only time I've seen a person imbued is during the Rite of Tranquility and that rune is burned into a mages forehead with a branding iron. I have never seen or heard of a rune just appearing on someone. These runes on my staff are rather complicated but none of the designs are as elaborate as the ones in your hands." She grabbed his hands and examined the runes. Both were glowing green even though the one on the right had faded earlier it was as bright as the left one now. She ran her thumbs over them and they seemed to glow brighter.

"I think they like you, "Aedan joked. Amara frowned at him.

"I don't think this is funny. They seemed tied to my magic or me I'm not sure which, it has bound us in a way." She wove her fingers in his so their palms were touching. She used her magic to softly probe his hands. "This is impossible…" she said as she probed more than just his hands.

"What is impossible?" Aedan asked in a strained voice. When she started using the magic on the runes, he could feel his entire body tingle, he closed his eyes. It felt so good, every inch of his body longed for her touch. Amara stopped the probing and broke contact with him immediately. He felt immediate loss and longing then, it was nearly unbearable. Those feeling soon stopped and he opened his eyes and looked at her. She looked upset.

"Aedan, what happened?" her voice full of concern.

"I don't know…" he admitted. "When you started to do the magic on me it felt amazing… and when it stopped, it felt unbearable for a moment. What does that mean?" She looked like she was going to be ill. She started pacing.

"That day in the woods… when the first rune happened… somehow I transferred some of my magic to you. I don't know how it happened but it did. And then today…" she couldn't even make eye contact with him. "Today more transferred to you…"

"So what does that mean? Am I a mage now?" asked Aedan anxiously.

"I don't think so. The only thing I do know is that you are bound to me now, that's why you feel the way you do when I use magic on you…" She looked away distressed. Aedan didn't understand why she was so upset.

"Why are you so upset? The runes are not hurting me. I don't understand why you are upset."

"The only times I've heard of a mage binding someone to them are blood mages," she said quietly. "Blood mage thralls become their master's slave."

"This is not blood magic," Aedan said stubbornly. "I don't know what it is but it's not that."

"It affects your feelings towards me," she said bluntly and bitterly. "You feel things because of the bond, it's not real."

"That's not true," Aedan said. "I know for a fact it's not." Amara shook her head and tried to leave but Aedan grabbed her arm pulling her towards him. "Listen to me, nothing has changed. Even before the rune appeared I had vowed to protect you." He reached up and stroked her cheek the said "The moment I saw you in the tower I wanted to do this…" He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips, gently pulling her to him. "The bond didn't make me do that, it may have given me some courage to finally do it earlier but the choice was mine."

"But everything is happening so fast..." she said.

"Let me ask you then since you claim I am bound to you, why did you kiss me?" He asked with a smirk. "The bond should not have made you feel things that you didn't already." Amara shyly looked down at her boots. Aedan laughed and pulled her into an embrace again. "So why are your feelings truer than mine?" Aedan watched a myriad of emotions cross her face before she finally gave him a shy smile.

"You're right, I just never could have hoped for this when I was in the Tower," she said. "I… "She stopped and backed away from Aedan. She looked like she was listening to something her head moved from side to side.

"Amara?" Aedan asked. Amara put her finger up to her lips motioning him to be quiet. Her eyes grew wide.

"Get your armor back on and get you weapons," she said. She reached down for her staff. "Please hurry Aedan." Aedan immediate ran to where his gear was at camp, Amara followed behind him. She helped him put his armor back on.

"Mind telling me what's going on?" he asked as he strapped his blades on. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the woods.

"Duncan's in trouble," she stated as they ran into the underbrush.

"What? How?" he exclaimed.

"The trees… they said he found many darkspawn, quickly we have to help him before it's too late!"

-O-


	7. Chapter 7 Pushing at the limits

**Authors Note:** Another peak at Amara's lineage and powers. I always thought it was silly that lightning spells in the game did so little damage, I would think if you could harness the power of lightning you could seriously do some damage. Battle scenes are harder to write than I thought… hopefully I didn't muck it up too much.

-O-

**Chapter 7 – Pushing at the limits**

**Amara**

The smell, if there was any aspect of this night that would be burned into her memory it was that smell. It made the bile in her stomach churn and her eyes burn. They were close, she thought. She stopped and motioned to Aedan. She pointed in the direction she thought the smell was coming from. She heard him unsheathe his blades. A startled gasp turned her attention from the smell to Aedan. His hands and his blades were glowing. It was the same faint green color of the runes. She could see the energy ripple up and down the blades. She looked up at Aedan concerned, he was smiling.

"An interesting effect of the runes," he noted as he swung the swords, cutting through the air in front of him.

"We are getting closer, this way," she said as she started off in the direction she pointed to earlier.

They walked about 40 more yards when they started to hear the sounds of battle. The clanking of blade on blade and the howls of pain were getting louder with each step.

"I can't see a damn thing," complained Aedan. Amara just noticed how dark it had gotten. She was using other senses than her eyes to travel through the forest, which was not possible for Aedan. She brought her staff up and slammed the base into the ground. From the top of the staff shot a ball of light. It rose into the air high above the trees; it hovered there like a small sun casting an eerie glow throughout the area. Now they could see where Duncan and the darkspawn where. There were at least twenty of them, they had Duncan surrounded. It was amazing Duncan had managed to survive this long. As Amara and Aedan ran to the battle, Amara was impressed with how fast Duncan moved. He used the trees as cover as he dodged and weaved through them. He was using the confusion that caused to take opportunistic strikes at the darkspawn.

The darkspawn seemed more disorganized, the glow of the ball of light had them momentarily ignoring Duncan and cowering, trying to hide in the shadows away from the light. Duncan used this to kill two of the smaller darkspawn quickly. His blade slicing the throat of one while he slammed his shield into the other, he spun and as his sword came around he decapitated the darkspawn. Amara noticed their reaction to the light. She stopped and slammed her staff into the ground again causing another ball of light to emerge. This one did not go above the trees; it shot out in front of her to hover directly over Duncan. To Amara's horror she saw that Duncan had been gravely wounded. A pike, its staff broken off, jutted out from his side and he had other numerous cuts that were bleeding, his armor was slick with a combination of his blood and a black substance Amara concluded was darkspawn blood.

She focused her mind and sent healing magic to Duncan. She could not do anything about the pike right now but she could stop the other wounds from bleeding. While her attention was focused on Duncan, Aedan race past her to join the battle, his swords were green blurs as he swung them at the nearest darkspawn. Amara had never seen Aedan in battle before and she was mesmerized by his grace. He almost seemed to be dancing with the darkspawn as he twirled and diced his way through their ranks towards Duncan. Amara heart stopped as she watched him bend backwards to avoid a blow only to be hacked at by another darkspawn nearby. She sent her will out and froze that darkspawn in place as Aedan finished killing one and advanced on the one she had frozen. When his blades struck the frozen darkspawn shattered into pieces. Their eyes met and he gave her a grateful nod before continuing his push towards Duncan.

Amara's attention was split between keeping Duncan alive and assisting Aedan. So focused were her efforts that she did not notice the movement in the trees to the left of her. A moment later the sound of the small saplings to her left snapping caused her to turn. She barely had time to get her shield up when a huge axe came crashed down towards her. Amara focused all of her magic into the shield and pushed the monster back. It toppled onto the ground and skidded across the ground and into the underbrush. This was the first time Amara got a good look at what nearly killed her. It was huge with grey rotting flesh covering its massive chest. It had giant twisted horns and sharp teeth. Its body armor was formidable as well, covering most of its torso. An ogre she thought. It started to rise, Amara backed away trying to gather as much energy to herself as she could from the trees and other life in the forest. It stood up to full height and roared, it turned and ripped a small tree up by its roots and hurled it towards her. She sent her magic out to meet it, deflecting into the nearby trees. It roared in frustration, Amara barely heard Aedan screaming her name as she focused her will on the ogre. From the ground she called forth the roots, they wrapped around the ogres feet, twisting up the legs. The ogre ripped and tore at the vines, for every vine it broke two more sprung from the ground to take its place. She was tiring, the vines would only hold it for so long, and they would not kill it. She called to the sky her arm stretched to the stars. She felt the energy forming high in the air above her. A bolt of lightning struck her outstretched hand. She did not feel pain from it as shot down her arms and danced around her crackling and scorching the grass around her feet. Her whole body was trembling from the raw power she was absorbing. Everything was getting brighter around her, she did not understand why. The ogre roared again and ripped the last of the vines off its legs. It was running towards her, she stood her ground waiting as the lightning whirled around her. It was nearly within reach when she brought down her hand and released the lightning. A huge bolt surged out of her arm and tore into the ogre. It screamed in pain as the bolt burned its way through the ogre's chest and emerged on the other side. It collapsed dead; the smell of burning rotting flesh permeated the air. Amara turned searching for Aedan and found him fighting darkspawn near Duncan he was trying desperately to get through the darkspawn to reach to her. Amara walked towards him, she was still charged with lightning, and not even half of what she absorbed was used to kill the ogre. She stepped over the dead darkspawn, she felt very calm, almost sedated. She looked around at the corpses surrounding her. Too many, she thought. There were more now than when they first reached Duncan. She looked around searching for where they could be coming from. She slammed her staff into the ground sending glowing balls of light to shadowed areas. She could make out the outlines of darkspawn emerging from the ground near where Duncan and Aedan were. She remember reading they dug tunnels under ground. She had to stop them before they had no energy left to fight.

She looked to Aedan he was at Duncan's side now, both men look fatigued, Duncan more than Aedan. They were still fighting even as more darkspawn poured from the hole. Amara sent healing energy to them both before making her way towards the hole.

"Amara! Wait!" Aedan yelled as his blades were slicing through multiple darkspawn as he tried again to reach her. Amara continued to walk toward the opening. A few darkspawn tried to attack her but died very quickly to the lightning dancing around her. She reached the outer rim of the hole, she could see there were many more darkspawn inside but they were not coming out. Fear of the light hovering above it was the reason. Amara raised her staff above her head and with all the energy of the lightning still inside of her brought it down on the ground. She was shaking as the power drained into the soil, the magic started to cause the stone and dirt around the hole to buckle. There was a flash of bright light from the ground where her staff had struck and the sound of an explosion quickly followed. Amara was flung by the shockwave onto the ground away from the hole. The last thing she remembered before everything went black was the green glow of two blades dancing above her.

-O-

Amara opened her eyes to a hazy violet sky. The Fade, she thought. How did I end up here? She didn't remember falling asleep. Bits and pieces of memories started to filter back into her mind.

"Aedan!" She looked around for him but stopped remembering she was in the Fade. She walked over to a crystal formation and sat down next to it, leaning on it for support. She knew she would just have to wait it out until she woke up. She leaned back and closed her eyes, her mind drifting to her time with Aedan before the darkspawn attack. Never had she hoped to dream he had feelings for her. When she thought it was just the bond the runes made between them she had been crushed. What he said made sense to her, if he was already feeling it as she had it was not the bond making him do anything. She reached up and touched her lips with her fingers. The memories of his kisses caused her to shiver; she had never been kissed like that. Even the one kiss she shared with desperate Cullen paled in comparison. With Aedan there was so much passion, she felt her insides melt when she thought of one of his smoldering looks. One thing was sure, she wanted more. She wanted to know everything about him; she wanted to know what it was like to wake up in his arms. Amara just hoped they had enough time, Ostagar was days away and she had no idea what would happen to them then.

"You know it's dangerous to think of your desires in the Fade," a voice said. Amara's eyes snapped open as she jumped to her feet. Standing in front of her was the man she had seen in the vision when she was in the water.

"Who are you?" she asked. She was on her guard; he may be a demon or another spirit.

"What does your heart say," he asked. Amara paused and looked at him, especially his eyes. They were just like hers but in them was a wisdom and agelessness she had never seen before.

"My heart says you are my father but my mind believes it is impossible… you are far older than you appear," she said. She watched him smiled at her, his eyes twinkled with amusement.

"Does it matter what a man's age is? Many men have sired children as late as their sixtieth nameday."

"That is not what I meant," Amara said annoyed. "Physically you are middle aged but your eyes tell me differently. So are you my father or will you just keep me guessing?" The man laughed at that.

"You are so much like her. A little bit of tartness to your sweetness." He smiled at her; he offered his arm to her. "Walk with me." Amara looked at his arm with uncertainty. If he was a demon he doesn't play by their normal set of rules. She hesitantly tucked her hand around his arm. As they walked around the Fade the landscape started to change to look like that building she saw the man at before.

"I am your father," he stated. Amara didn't say anything at first. She didn't know whether to be happy or sad that she had found one of her parents. She was happy because she was here now speaking with her father in the Fade but sad because that obviously meant he was no longer living.

"Why did you wait so long to find me in the Fade? Or have you recently passed?" she asked. "Is my mother here too?"

"I waited so long because you were not ready. You were still a prisoner in the Tower. If I would have approached you there and helped you learn about your magic, it would have gotten you killed. I did not recently die either; I no longer exist in your realm." Amara stopped.

"What do you mean you no longer exist in my realm? I don't understand, "she said.

"I use to a long time ago before all this 'Maker' nonsense happened. Then I chose to leave." Amara just stared at him.

"That's impossible, that was thousands of years ago!" she exclaimed.

"You did say I was older than I appear," he smirked. She didn't know what to say then.

"How?" she sputtered. "How can you be my father then? And you didn't answer my question about my mother is she here in the Fade?"

"She is not; she is not in this realm anymore either. I took her with me. She chooses not to walk the Fade often. She may now that you know. She has wanted to see you for many years now."

"How? Damn it, this doesn't make sense. If you are no longer in my realm then how did you meet my mother and what realm did you take her to?" Amara was getting frustrated, he never really explained anything.

"I can only come into your realm at certain times of the year or if I'm summoned. Your mother summoned me," the man said simply. "We don't have much time left; we can continue to waste it if you like." Amara sighed. This had to be some type of Fade spirit playing games with her; he sure doesn't act how she had envisioned her father to. He just gave cryptic response and half explanations.

"I would prefer not to waste it," she said.

"Good! Well then I would like to tell you more about your powers." He led her to a bench to sit down. "You are progressing well, your champion has been chosen and it was a wise choice."

"Excuse me, my what?" she asked.

"The young man who you were thinking about when I arrived. The one who is protecting you at this minute while you are here with me." He made a gesture with his hand and a picture appeared out of thin air, it was more like looking through a window. She watched in fascination as Aedan killed darkspawn after darkspawn as she lay on the ground nearby. "His fighting skills are impeccable, you made a wise choice" noted her father.

"I didn't choose anything, my magic is running wild since I left the tower," she muttered.

"Ah maybe not consciously but you did choose. Your magic is not running wild my dear, it is wild, and it is nature in its purest form. You control all of the elements, wind, fire, water and earth. Just look at how well you harnessed the power of the sky tonight. That is how your magic was meant to be, not locked in a Tower practicing lighting candles across the room."

"How do I control it?" she asked.

"You already do, it will not do what you do not wish it to do," The man stood up and looked at the picture window he had created. Aedan was killing the last of the darkspawn. "Your champion will be coming for you so we must say goodbye for now."

"Wait! Can't you at least tell me your name?" she asked as he started to walk away.

"You may call me Kale or father if you wish," he said with a smile. "Go… your champion waits for you."

-O-

Amara awoke to the sound of Aedan pleading with her to wake up. She slowly opened her eyes. Aedan was kneeling at her side stroking her face. The worry for her was etched in his face.

"Aedan…" she said as she reached her hand up to touch his face. He grabbed her hand and kissed it, the relief evident on his face as he pressed her hand into his cheek. He was so handsome even covered in blood and sweat she thought. Her champion… she smiled at him. Then the memories of the battle flooded her mind. "Duncan? Is he alive?" she asked as she tried to sit up.

"Aye, he is over by the tree, I gave him a couple health potions earlier. Are you well enough to stand?" he asked. Just sitting up caused her head to throb.

"If you help me," she said. Aedan stood up and gently pulled her to her feet. She wobbled a bit as she stood so he wrapped her arm around his neck and picked her up.

"Here let me carry you for now," he said. She was grateful and rested her head on his shoulder. He carried her to Duncan's side, he was alive but in a lot of pain. Aedan sat Amara on the ground next to Duncan. She reached her hand out and rested it on his forehead.

"Sleep," she commanded him. Duncan lapsed into unconsciousness. "Aedan, I'm going to need you to pull the pike out before I can heal him. Don't worry, I will keep him asleep… he won't feel a thing." She pulled herself up into a kneeling position next to Duncan as Aedan worked on pulling out the broken pike. It did not come out cleanly; she could hear it tearing at more flesh as Aedan ripped it out. She quickly started to heal the wound. It took everything she had to get it sealed. She knew she had reached a limit with her power as she finished healing him. She started to feel like she was going to fall backwards from exhaustion, she reached for Aedan. He helped steady her as she reached to touch Duncan's forehead.  
"Wake," she commanded him before collapsing back in Aedan's awaiting arms. He picked her up and held her close to him. "Please take me to the lake," she said softly, the last of her energy ebbing away. Duncan was on his feet by now examining his side where the pike once was, not so much as a faint scar remained.

"I thank you m'lady," he said but Amara was already asleep in Aedan's arms. "Is she going to be alright?" asked Duncan.

"I need to get her to the lake," Aedan said and abruptly turned to head back to camp. "Are you coming?" he asked. Duncan shook his head.

"I will be a while; I want to make sure all the darkspawn are dead and burn the bodies." Aedan nodded and left with Amara held tightly in his arms.

-O-

Amara woke later that night encompassed in warmth and the smell of sandalwood. She shifted slightly; a strong arm tightened around her waist. It was then she realized Aedan was behind her, his face was nestled in her hair. His soft breathing against the back of her neck sent shivers down her spine. She snuggled in closer enjoying the feel of him pressed tightly against her as she started to drift off to sleep again. She smiled when she realized that one of her wishes from the Fade had come true.

"My champion," she murmured as sleep claimed her once again.

-O-


	8. Chapter 8 Destination unavoidable

**Authors Note:** This chapter is definitely rated M for all the steamy bits! This is about where we take that 'left turn at Albuquerque' and story line veers away from the DA Origins story line. I never liked how Ostagar went in the game so I intend on changing in this story.

-O-

**Chapter 8 – Destination unavoidable**

**Aedan**

Aedan watched her sleep on his bedroll while he cleaned his armor and weapons. She looked so peaceful and vulnerable there, a stark contrast to the Amara he saw earlier during the fight. He had never seen another mage do what she had done. His could not believe his eyes when she reached toward the sky and summoned the lightning to herself. He watched in awe as she was surrounded in bright white light as the ogre approached her. She was magnificent, her hair and robes swirled around her and shimmered in the light with such radiance it was almost painful to look upon her. He remembered the cold fear that raced through him when he saw her thrown to the ground after the explosion that closed the darkspawn hole. He doesn't know how he managed to get through all of those darkspawn to get to her before they did. Everything was a blur to him now; he was in some type of battle rage when it happened. All he could think about was getting to her; nothing was going to stop him. He didn't know how many darkspawn he had killed. All he knew was that she was safe that was all that mattered to him. He sat his cleaned armor aside and searched his bag for another towel to wash up with in the lake when he heard Duncan approaching.

"Is she well?" Duncan asked as he started to remove his armor for cleaning.

"She is fine, just exhausted," replied Aedan as he finished wiping the grime from his face and hands. He then laid his damp shirt out on the stones near the lake to dry.

"A hundred and seventeen," Duncan said as he tossed more wood on the fire before settling back down to his armor. "Somehow the three of us managed to kill a whole horde of darkspawn. Riordan is never going to believe me; he'll think I'm telling fish tales." Duncan chuckled. "Who knows how many were left in the tunnel before Amara collapsed it. There could have been hundreds more maybe thousands." Aedan looked troubled at this.

"How far are we away from Ostagar?" he asked Duncan. "We can't be more than two and a half days away right?" Duncan nodded.

"That's about right," he said.

"How long has the King been gathering troops at Ostagar? A month now?" Aedan pressed. Again Duncan nodded.

"Then they know," said Aedan quietly. "The darkspawn must know they are there and are burrowing around them. " Duncan frowned at the implications of this possibility.

"They are not that intelligent," he said dismissing the idea.

"If there is an Archdemon leading them then is it possible? We read up on the last Blights the night before we left the tower; the Blight has been different each time depending on the god they corrupted. What if this god is smarter than the last?"

"If that is the case they could burrow right under Cailan and hit his troops from behind. We need to leave at first light. Amara collapsed one tunnel; there is no way of knowing how many more tunnels the darkspawn have." Duncan said as he finished cleaning his chest piece. "We don't have to worry about them reusing this tunnel, as far as I could tell, the collapse ran the full length of the tunnel. I walked it for a while before turning back." He paused and looked at the mage sleeping nearby. "Will she be well enough to travel?" asked Duncan.

"I will carry her if I have to," Aedan said. He looked through their belongings and pulled out a thin blanket and covered Amara with it. He settled into his bedroll behind Amara, pulling the blanket over himself. He noticed Duncan's raised eyebrow as he wrapped his arm around her pulling her close. He did not care what Duncan thought about them. He buried his face into her hair and closed his eyes as Duncan looked on with a puzzled expression.

-O-

Aedan woke shortly before dawn. Even though it was only a short sleep he felt more rested than he had in a week, not since he left Highever. He hadn't thought of Highever much in the past few days but soon he was going to have to face Fergus at Ostagar. He didn't know how Fergus would react; the messenger had to have reached him by now. Amara began to stir at his side; Aedan shifted his focus from the thoughts of his brother to the beautiful woman snuggled up to his side. He reached his hand up and caressed her face, her eyes fluttered opened.

"Aedan…" she breathed softly. She reached her hand up to cup his face in her hand. He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm before leaning down and gently kissing her lips. She instantly responded and wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling him towards her. Her kisses were almost desperate as if to reassure her that he was there and ok. Aedan sensed a note of distress in her kisses. He pulled away and brushed his fingers down the side of her face.

"Everything is ok," he whispered not wanting to wake Duncan. He felt a warm tingling sensation start to spread though his body as she probed him for injuries. When it stopped he bent down and kissed her lips, he let the kiss linger for a few moments before leaving a trail of kisses down her jawline until he reached her ear. He started to gently kiss the soft skin of her neck just below her ear; he could feel her trembling underneath him. He whispered in her ear, "I told you I am fine and I will protect you." Amara turned her head towards his; she slowly brought her hand up letting her fingers lightly run over his lips then down his neck to his bare chest. Aedan's breath hitched as he felt her caress the muscles of his chest and stomach. Her gentle touch was more than he could stand. He grabbed her hand and pushed it into the bedroll near her head as he rolled on top of her. She let out a faint gasp as his body covered hers. He leaned down and kissed her fiercely, all of his longing and desire was reflected in that kiss. He felt her grab and pull at him as if she was trying to bring him even closer to her. Aedan didn't want to stop but he knew Duncan would be waking at any minute. He also wanted to do this right, not on the ground rushed. He broke the kiss leaving Amara breathless and trembling. When his next kisses became gentle he saw a flash of disappointment in Amara's eyes. She wanted him just as bad he thought. He smiled at her and kissed her pouting lips. "All in good time," he said softly leaning down to kiss her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him tight to her again. She deepened the kiss not willing to let him go just yet. When they separated she leaned back and caressed his cheek.

"Promise me before we go into battle there will be a 'good time'?" she asked. "I don't want to die…" she paused, "and never know what that feels like," she said quietly. Aedan kissed her ever so gently before responding.

"I would be honored," he said softly before lovingly kissing her again. "I am yours, in every sense." Amara hugged him then, clinging to him as if he was all there was to hold on to in this world.

"And I am yours…" she whispered as she held on to him. Aedan knew what his heart was feeling at that moment but he was too much of a coward to tell her. They laid there in holding each other until they heard Duncan stir on the other side of the dying embers.

-O-

They had been walking for a few hours when they spotted riders coming down the road towards them. Aedan looked at Duncan who shrugged.

"I would be more concerned if they were coming from the north," said Duncan. They continued on the road to Ostagar. As the riders neared Aedan noticed Amara seemed upset. He reached for her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. She managed a small smile for him.

He leaned over and whispered, "If there is trouble stay behind me, ok?" She nodded and wove her fingers in his. Aedan counted three riders and six horses as they approached. Three humans shouldn't be a problem after what they went through last night he thought. The riders were quickly approaching; Duncan stopped walking and merely waited for them to pass. Aedan let Duncan take the lead on this and stayed behind him with Amara.

The riders slowed their horses and brought them to a stop a few yards from Duncan. The leader dismounted, he was wearing a full set of splint mail with a large broadsword strapped to his back. Aedan sized up the leader and his two companions who were also heavily armored. The man approached Duncan and removed his helm. He had golden hair and he reminded him of someone he had seen before but he couldn't place him.

"We've been looking for you for three days," the man stated. He then gave Duncan an awkward hug. "It's good to see you Duncan."

"Alistair it is good to see you as well," Duncan motioned to Aedan and Amara. "These are our new recruits. This is Aedan Cousland and this is Amara Amell." Alistair approached them. He nodded at Aedan and shook his hand.  
"Good to meet you, future brother," Alistair said with a smile. He then turned to Amara who was still partially behind Aedan. His reaction to her made Aedan's blood boil. Alistair stared at her for a moment with a look of total appreciation on his face.

"M'lady," he took her hand and raised it to his lips and kissed it. "One as beautiful as you should not be fighting darkspawn!" Amara blushed, but didn't back away. She slid her hand from his and gave the new Warden a thin smile.

"You are too kind sir. I can handle myself against darkspawn and if I cannot, Aedan protects me." She reached for Aedan's hand. Aedan hoped the man would take a hint so he didn't have to hit him. Alistair looked at their joined hands and his face turned red.

"Oh! Ah… sorry about that. I meant no offense," he stammered as he looked between Amara and Aedan. Amara gave him another tight smile.

"None taken," she said gripping Aedan's hand tightly. Aedan looked down and smiled at her. She was the one to let this man know she didn't appreciate his advances. That made him feel good knowing that she meant what she said this morning, that she was his.

"Uh right," said Alistair as he ran his fingers through his hair. "We have spare horses for you Duncan; we need to get back to Ostagar. The situation has gotten worse and there seems to be some type of feud brewing between the King and the others."

"Is there still a village with an inn up the road between here and Ostagar?" asked Duncan. Alistair nodded.

"We stayed there last night, the owner refuses to flee north," said Alistair.

"Good, I could use a decent night's sleep and bath before I have to deal with Cailan and Loghain," muttered Duncan. "Let's head out."

They approached the extra horses when Amara tugged on his arm. She looked quite frightened.

"Aedan, I don't know how to ride," she said quietly, ashamed the others would hear. Aedan laughed and bent down and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, you will ride with me," he said and led her to the dark grey stallion. "This one should have no problem carrying us both. Let me help you up." Aedan gently wrapped his hands around her waist and lifted her up and sat her on the front part of the saddle. "Now swing your leg over and hold on to the front part of the saddle while I get on," he said. Amara did as he told her but looked terrified as she clutched the saddle. Aedan stuck his foot in the stirrup and gracefully swung himself up into the saddle behind Amara. He wrapped his arm around her and held her tight as he grabbed the reins with the other. He leaned forward and nuzzled her neck for a moment before whispering, "Just lean on me and relax, I've got you." He gave her a brief kiss on the neck and felt her shiver as she leaned back into his arms. Aedan enjoyed the feel of her pressed against him as they started to ride south. He was happy they had this time to just be near each other. They would reach Ostagar tomorrow and everything would change.

-O-

They arrived at the in shortly before dusk. Aedan climbed off the horse and held out his arms for Amara, she grabbed his shoulders and slid from the horse and into his embrace. He made sure her legs were steady before letting her go. He knew first time horse rides can be painful. She winced as her leg muscles adjust to being off the horse. Her hand glowed blow as she rubbed her thighs to ease the pain.

"All better," she said. "We best catch up with the others. Aedan left the horse with the stable boy and they headed inside.

The inn was fairly large for such a quant village. The inn keeper was ecstatic to have so many customers. He had plenty of rooms to spare and four baths that they could use. Amara quickly asked for directions to the bath and was led away by the inn keeper's wife. Aedan was about to head to his room when Duncan stopped him.

"When we get to Ostagar, I might need your help with the nobles. Alistair informed me earlier that several including your brother do not think the darkspawn threat is as big as it is. I may need your help convincing them otherwise." Aedan nodded.

"I'll help in whatever way I can," he said. "There are other matters that need to be attended to when we are there, Fergus should know about Highever by now." Duncan nodded.

"I fear things will be overly complicated when we arrive," he paused for a moment. "Also, when giving a recount of our darkspawn encounter… it might be best to downplay Amara's role in the battle. Grey Wardens are outside the Chantry law but I fear if word gets out about her abilities we can expect trouble from them. She is too powerful for them to walk away and with this added connection to you; the Chantry will fear her more." Aedan looked at him confused.

"Why is that?" he asked. He didn't understand how his relationship to her would matter to the Chantry.

"Because, out of that hundred and seventeen darkspawn that I burned, I only killed about twenty five, you slaughtered the rest." Aedan looked at him in shock. He knew he killed a lot but he had no idea.

"I didn't know it was so many, most of the battle is just a blur to me. When the explosion happened I still don't know how I got to her in time," Aedan admitted.

"I've seen men go into berserk in battle but this was different. You moved faster than I've seen anyone move and your blades were slicing darkspawn in half. It's her magic isn't it," Duncan asked. There was no point in denying things anymore. Aedan nodded and showed Duncan the runes on his hands. Duncan shook his head.

"Imagine what the Chantry would do if they found out about that? If they thought every mage could do this or if Amara made an army of fighters like you? They would never stop hunting her, the Grey Wardens could not protect her," Duncan said quietly. "I know you two are involved… normally it is against Grey Warden rules for recruits to engage in such a thing but I am going to pretend that you two were involved before you were recruited. It will draw less attention from the others." Aedan looked at him gratefully. "From what I saw last night I was correct in my assessment. She is powerful enough to stop this Blight from spreading. I will do my best to not separate you, just do your best to protect her and keep her alive." Aedan nodded. "Now, I'm going to rest before I have to deal with the nobles, I suggest you do the same."

"Thank you Duncan," Aedan said and quickly hurried to his room.

-O-

He finally was able to bathe and the inn keeper's wife had brought him some dinner to his room. He had not seen Amara since earlier before he talked to Duncan. A part of him was worried; he didn't like it when she was away from him for too long. The other part kept focusing on what she said to him this morning, wondering if she really meant it. He knew this was a big step for her as well as for him. His nerves started to get to him so he started pacing.

He finally admitted to himself that he was in love with her. He just didn't know how to tell her or when to tell her. And now the anticipation of their last night before Ostagar was weighing on him. He felt like a boy before his first kiss all nervous and awkward. He could not take it anymore; he started to walk towards the door when there was a faint knock. His heart sped up as he reached for the door. He opened it slowly to find her standing there in her shift with her hair undone; it cascaded down to her waist in vibrant golden red waves. Aedan just stared at her; she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She blushed under his gaze and looked down.

"May I come in," she asked softly. Without hesitation he reached for her hand and gently led her into his room. He never let go of her hand as he guided her across his room to the bed. He motioned for her to sit as he joined her. He didn't know what to say. He reached out and caressed her cheek, his fingers lightly touching her soft skin.

"Are you sure," Aedan asked. His voice taking on a husky tone that sounded unfamiliar to his ears. She closed her eyes for a moment and leaned into his touch. When she opened them she nodded.

"I meant what I said earlier… I am yours." She took ahold of his hand and kissed his palm where the rune was. This sent a wave of pleasure though Aedan unlike anything he had experienced before. Amara brought his other hand to her lips; Aedan tilted his head back and moaned as the sensations pulsed though him. He recovered himself and leaned forward and brought his lips to hers in a frantic kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her deeply as his hands glided over her body. She trembled and moaned into his mouth when his hands worked their way to her breasts. She started tugging at his shirt; Aedan pulled it off and tossed it onto the floor. Amara leaned back and grabbed the hem of her shift and pulled it off over her head and let it slide from her fingers onto the floor as well. Aedan just stared at her for a moment. He was in awe of her beauty; she was all he had ever hoped to want.

"You are so beautiful…" he said as he leaned forward and lightly kissed her, his lips brushing over hers. He was moving slowly savoring every moment as he left a trail of delicate kisses down her throat. Amara arched her back raising her breasts to him as he continued to kiss and gently suck on her neck. His hand snaked up her stomach and started to gently squeeze her breast as his kisses continued down her neck and over her collar bone. She moaned and her hips bucked when he finally reached her breasts with his mouth. Her arms wrapped around his head as she pulled him closer to her, pressing her breasts into his mouth.

Aedan wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her too him while moving her higher in the bed until her head rested on the pillows. He quickly kicked off his boots removed his leather breeches before climbing back in bed. She reached for him as he positioned himself over her, their bodies responding to the subtle pressures and frictions this new position created. Amara draped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. Her kisses were starting to overwhelm him as her tongue delicately caressed his. He ground himself into her core causing her to moan and wrap her legs around his waist pulling him tight against her as she bucked and rolled her hips. This nearly undid him.

Aedan pulled back and leaned to the side. He ran his hand down her stomach until he reached the edge of her smalls. He hooked them with a finger and started to pull them down; she raised her hips to assist him. His hand caressed her stomach before working its way down to the soft curls. He felt her muscles tighten as he slowly slipped his finger down parting her lips to stroke her core. She whimpered and thrashed as he rubbed and stroked her most sensitive areas. She arched her back and cried his name as just his touch sent her over the edge. He kissed her deeply and continued stroking with his fingers moving faster and faster he felt her on the brink again. She was begging and pleading with him at this point as he coaxed her to climax again.

"Aedan…" she moaned his name. "I need you," she panted. He quickly removed his smalls and positioned himself above her, right at her entrance. He slowly pushed himself inside, it felt amazing. It was taking all the willpower he had to not go quick, he knew this was her first time and did not want to hurt her.

"This is going to hurt," he said in a strained voice as he held himself in place. Amara held up her hand which was glowing blue.

"Not for long, please Aedan…" she whimpered. That was all he needed to hear before he pushed through and buried himself completely. She cried his name as he let out a deep moan as they were join together in the most intimate way. Slowly Aedan started to thrust into her; she wrapped her legs around him pulling him closer. Aedan was trying desperately to control himself to make this last longer but Amara was making it difficult. She reached for his hand and brought it to her lips; she slowly ran her tongue around the rune imbued in his flesh. Aedan was trembling with uncontrolled pleasure as he thrust into her deeply and quickly as the magic coursed through his body. She did the same thing with the other hand and he was lost. Time seemed to stop for him, as if he was frozen in this state of inconceivable bliss. He doesn't remember when he reached his peak or if it ever really stopped or how long he made love to her. As the magic ebbed away his thoughts became more coherent. He realized he was trembling and so was Amara. Both were bathed in sweat and breathing heavily; the bed was in complete disarray. She was holding onto him, her legs wrapped tightly around him as if she was afraid to let go. He gently kissed her before resting his forehead on hers. She reached up and stroked his hair, brushing it back out of his face as he rested on top of her.

"Amara, I…" he started to say but she silenced him with her lips. She kissed him long and passionately before finally breaking the kiss. He felt himself start to harden again as Amara kissed and nibbled on his neck.

"Tell me in the morning," she whispered into his ear. Aedan moaned and brought his lips to hers. In the morning he would tell her that he loved her, he thought. That was the last coherent thought he had before ecstasy overtook him again.

-O-


	9. Chapter 9 Everything changes

**Authors Note:** Sorry for the delay, work has been trying this week and for some reason this chapter was a pain.

-O-

**Chapter 9 – Everything changes…**

**Amara**

Aedan had fallen asleep hours ago yet she could not. She laid there watching him sleep, her mind racing with questions. The Orlesian novels at the Tower never talked about the next day or the day after that. They focused on the courting part leading up to the sex part. Amara felt like she had just skipped to the sex part. She wondered if Aedan would have courted her if they had more time. That was one of the several questions that would not leave her mind. What was going to happen next between them she wondered? Everything changes once they reach Ostagar.

She had never taken a lover in the Tower, a part of her now wished she had, she would have known what to expect. She understood the basics, just from those novels and from being a healer but reality was so much different. It was obvious that Aedan had experience… she felt a small twinge of jealousy at the thought of him with other women and quickly dismissed it. He was here with her now and that was all that mattered… right? Old fears she thought were behind her started to surface again. The magic was the biggest one. She knew it affected him, she knew he drew pleasure from it and last night her manipulation of it had turned him into a beast. He was not gentle as he was earlier, he was relentless and insatiable, his kisses rough and commanding. Not that she was complaining, she had enjoyed; it was a side of Aedan she was unaccustomed to. She frowned… was it part of him or just the magic making him behave that way? It was yet another question that was plaguing her as she stared at the ceiling. She didn't know Aedan well enough to know if that was even a facet of his personality. She had seen brief moments where he was willing to challenge Duncan but he always seemed so in control of himself at all times. Well when she wasn't licking the runes like some wanton strumpet she thought ashamed.

It was so hard for her to gather her thoughts with him so close. Everything about him drew her in deeper; his scent, his touch, the sound of his voice… everything. A part of her wished he'd wake up now and put her mind at ease. She found herself reaching out to touch him and stopped herself. Before the impulse to touch him happened again, she decided to leave. Amara sat up slowly so she didn't disturb him and slid off the bed. She fumbled around until she found her smalls and shift on the floor. After quickly dressing she ever so quietly opened the door to go back to her room. Satisfied she did not wake him up, she headed to her room. It was too early for the others to be up yet. Amara was grateful the inn keepers wife let her stay in the room with the bath so she didn't have to leave again to use the other bath area. She used her magic to operate the pump and fill the tub and heat it, she was too tired to manually do it. When the temperature was just right, she eased herself into the tub. The hot water was refreshing and helped clear her mind so she could think.

In a matter of days he had become her world and that frightened her. She was so dependent on him for more than just protection in battle, with the changes to her magic he had been an anchor for her sanity as well. Everything has happened too fast she thought. If her relationship with Aedan was put into an Orlesian novel it would be one chapter long, a very intense chapter but just a chapter none the less. A part of her could not let go of the fear it was the magic creating these emotions between them. The bond the runes created was not one-sided. She knew that now, especially after last night, at times she felt like she was feeling what he was feeling.

Amara had never been in love before, she didn't know if what she was feeling now was love or just the magic ensuring she had a champion to protect her. Her father said it was her choice yet felt like it wasn't. She felt as if the magic was its own being making all these decisions for her, not something that was a part of her. She signed and reached for her jasmine soap she left on the table next to the tub and started lathering her hair. Everything is different now just as everything will be different when they reach Ostagar. Who knows, she might not even live to see her next nameday in a month. It made worrying about the repercussions of last night trivial when put in that perspective.

Dawn was approaching; she had finished her bath and dressed. Amara was sitting on her bed braiding her hair when there was a knock on the door. She felt a moment of absolute panic overtake her; she wasn't ready to see him yet. In all her thinking there was no resolution for her troubled mind.

"Uh… come in," she said in a shallow voice. The inn keeper's wife hurried in with some fresh linens and a small tray with a cup of tea and some biscuits on it. Amara's apprehension drained almost immediately.

"Good morning m'lady. I trust you are well this morning? I heard the bath so I figured you were up." The woman had a look on her face of amusement. Amara couldn't imagine what was so amusing at this hour. "I brought you something to eat and some deep mushroom tea." Amara looked up at her sharply. Deep mushroom tea was taken to prevent pregnancies. Realization dawned on her and she looked completely mortified. They must have heard… The older woman chuckled at her reaction. She handed her the tray and patted Amara on the head. "It's ok Deary, I was young and in love once myself. You have a fine man if I might add," she said. "I don't blame you for you wanting to make him happy… over and over again." Amara almost choked on the bit of tea she just sipped. The old woman laughed and shooed her off the bed so she could change the linens. Amara went to sit in a small chair by the door. How this could get any worse she did not know.

"Thank you… for the tea," Amara said quietly. As embarrassed as she was, she was grateful the woman brought her the tea… she had forgotten about it.

"Oh no problem at all, a pretty young thing like you doesn't need to be saddled with a babe just yet. Plenty of time for that later, now is the time to just enjoy the love," said the inn keeper's wife.

"How…," Amara cleared her throat, "how did you know when you were in love?" She didn't know why she asked it and felt stupid after it left her lips. The older woman stopped making the bed and came over to sit on the edge of the bed across from Amara.

"Not sure eh?" she asked sympathetically. Amara shook her head and looked down at the cup in her hand.

"Everything has happened so fast…" Amara said softly. "There is so much about him I do not know." The old woman chuckled.

"Does he treat you well?" she asked.

"Yes he does, he is very protective," said Amara.

"I bet he is!" The old woman cackled. "He'd probably stick a knife in the belly of any man that so much as looked at you." Amara remembered how tense he got when Alistair kissed her hand; she felt she had to quickly diffuse the situation. Amara blushed…

"You're probably right; he did seem upset when another man kissed my hand." The old woman laughed and smacked her knee.

"Ha," she laughed, "figured as much. Now I've seen the way he looks at you and there is not a doubt in my mind that he loves you. The way his eyes followed you up the stairs… well even I a little out of breath after witnessing that," she chuckled. Amara felt her face burn. "Nothing to be embarrassed about Deary…" The old woman patted her hand.

"I've never been in love before… how do I know?" she asked the woman.

"Well are you happy when you are with him?" Amara nodded. "Here's a question for you… how would you feel if he died right now?" Amara looked at her horrified. "Thought so… I'm willing to wager that you love him," she said with a smile. She stood up and finished straightening the blanket on the bed and gathered up the linens and headed toward the door. She stopped and turned. "Being in love Deary is about feeling not thinking. So quit thinking and just listen to your heart… you'll find your answer there." She closed the door behind her leaving Amara alone to ponder her words.

-O-

Amara finished packing her meager belongings. She opened the door and turned to take one last look in the room to make sure she had not forgotten anything. Satisfied she had all of her items she turned and ran right into Aedan's chest. She froze, her heart sped up and Amara found it difficult to breathe. She slowly raised her eyes to his. His expression was troubled.

"You left," he said simply. Amara could sense the sadness in his voice. She felt like kicking herself.

"I wanted to take a bath before we left," she said. "You were sleeping so peacefully I did not want to wake you." Aedan reached up and ran his thumb across the darkened shadows under her eyes.

"You didn't sleep," he said. He didn't miss anything did he, she thought. She couldn't look at him when she responded.

"I couldn't…" she said softly. Aedan grabbed her by the elbow and ushered her back into the room and closed the door behind him. He spun her around and pulled her to him. He just held her for a while before saying anything.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked softly. "Is that why you left?" He was blaming himself she thought. She vehemently shook her head no.

"You didn't hurt me," she said. "I just… what happens now?" She didn't know what else to say…

"What do you mean? What is the matter?" he asked.

"I don't know what's supposed to happen now. You've been with other women; I've never been with anyone before you… I don't know what's expected of me," she said, her fears started bubbling to the surface. Aedan just stood there; his expression was unreadable. Amara retreated to sit on the bed; she buried her face in her hands. "I'm sorry Aedan…" she said quietly. "I don't know what I'm doing." There was a long uncomfortable silence. Amara was afraid to look at him; she could feel the tears building. She was so aware of her own misery she didn't even notice his approach. He knelt down in front of her. He ever so gently pulled her hands away from her face and held them in his.

"Look at me," he commanded. There was no denying that demand, she raised her eyes to his. "I love you," he said. The tears she had been holding back rushed to spill down her cheeks. "I should have told you before we ever spent the night together," his voice full of regret. "I don't know what comes next or how much time we have. I just know I want to spend it with you."

Amara felt like her heart was going to explode, it was beating so fast. The words the inn keeper's wife said to her this morning poured through her mind. It was like someone lit a candle in a dark room everything became clear now, the doubt was gone. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. She broke the kiss and hugged him, pulling him as tight to her as she could in this awkward position. "I love you too," she said as she clung to him. "I am such a fool," she murmured. Aedan pulled away to look at her, relief that she shared his feelings was evident on his face.

"Why do you say such things?" he asked as he wiped her tears away. Amara looked away ashamed.

"I am so naïve, I… I've never been in love before. The only thing I know about love I read in books at the Tower…" she said, feeling stupid for bringing it up. "I was scared for so many silly reasons. I felt my magic influence you last night and feared you would be angry at me or worse…" She looked down at her hands.

"What you did last night didn't anger me… it was amazing," he said in a low voice. "It didn't influence my love for you." Aedan looked at her intensely. "I've felt that almost from the moment we met," he said quietly. Amara felt herself melt at his words. Aedan leaned in and kissed her. The kiss started out slow but quickly hastened into something much more passionate. Amara felt prangs of heat at her core… she wanted him. Her desire was at a peak when Aedan's lips reached her neck. She was about to start unlacing her bodice when there was a knock on the door.

"Yes?" she called. Aedan unfazed by the door began to nibble on her earlobe.

"Milady, we are going down to breakfast. Will you be joining us?" It was Alistair. Amara looked at Aedan who was waiting for her response. She gave him an enamored look before answering.

"No thank you Alistair, I still need to bathe and pack," she replied. Aedan gave her a lustful grin as he started unbuckling his armor as Amara was making short work of the ties at her bodice.

"Oh ok, Duncan says we leave in an hour," Alistair said. "See you at the stables then?" Amara didn't even hear the question so lost was she in the moment.

-O-

Aedan pulled her closer to him and leaned up in the saddle and whispered in her ear. "Why are we getting so many strange looks?" Amara looked around at the other riders as they rested their horses near the river. She caught Alistair's eyes on her. She gave him a pointed look, his whole head turned red and he looked away. Amara sighed. Great he must think I'm some Jezebel… he can't even look at me, she thought.

"They heard us last night," she said quietly. "The inn keeper's wife informed me this morning…"

"Oh…" was all Aedan said. He wrapped his arms around her in a more intimate way and kissed the side of her neck. Shivers ran down Amara's spine.

"What are you doing?" she hissed. Aedan chuckled; the sound so close to her ear caused another wave of shivers.

"Well, no point in being discreet," he said. Amara was shocked at his boldness.

"Aedan! What will the other Wardens think?" Amara asked, as she shifted trying to put some distance between them which was difficult on horseback. Aedan pulled her close again, not letting her escape.

"Duncan thinks it best that we pretend that we've been together before we were recruited," he whispered. "He said it will draw fewer questions regarding our relationship. Grey Warden recruits are normally not permitted to fraternize." Amara couldn't argue with that logic and was taken aback that Aedan and Duncan had discussed this. Aedan moved her braid to the other side of her neck so he could get better access to her neck. "So my love, I don't care what the other Wardens think," he said as he feathered her neck with kisses. Amara barely stifled a moan as her hands tightened their grip on Aedan's arm.

"Aedan… you should stop," her voice barely a whisper. He didn't, instead his redoubled his efforts. "Aedan please…" she breathed, her fingernails digging into his arm.

"Kiss me and I'll stop… for now," he whispered in her ear. Amara felt powerless to him as she twisted in the saddle to comply. She reached her arm up and ran her hand down the side of his face, gently pulling until his lips met hers. The kiss was so gentle and passionate that Amara was lost in it. Amara slowly pulled away, her hand still cupping his cheek. Aedan groaned and rested his forehead on hers. "It's going to be a long ride to Ostagar…" Amara smiled and patted his cheek affectionately.

"You're not making this any easier," Amara said as she turned back in the saddle. "We shouldn't act this way around the other Wardens…"

"You are too distracting; I can't concentrate when you are this close." Aedan gave her neck another kiss. "I think I'm going to tell Duncan there is no way I can fight another battle, you've ruined me!" he said playfully. Amara twisted in the saddle again and swatted him on the shoulder.

"You're incorrigible," she said with a laugh. Aedan feigned a hurt expression causing Amara to laugh more. This was a side of Aedan she hadn't really seen before. He seemed truly happy and light hearted. He had joked with her before but the smile never fully reached his eyes. Now when she looked into his sky blue eyes there was mirth and a bit of mischievousness. It only heightened her attraction to him as she looked at him, it truly took her breath away how handsome he was. And he loved her… Amara still found it unbelievable that this brave, strong and handsome man was hers. Her contemplation was broken by a shout from Duncan for them to move out. Amara gave him a gentle kiss on the lips before settling back into his arms as Aedan brought the horse around. She knew no matter what happened down this road that at this moment they were happy and she would hold onto that.

-O-

Ostagar was nothing like Amara had expected. They took a moment to view the expanse of the ruin from the hillside before heading down to the bridge. The ruin was filled with multicolored tents as far as the eye could see. There were large tents in the center of this 'tent city', that is where Amara surmised the nobles were staying. Everywhere there were people milling about, there must have been thousands. Amara felt intimidated by the sheer amount of people. As if sensing her discomfort, Aedan tightened his hold on her.

"Here we go…" he murmured as he urged the horse into a trot toward the bridge. Amara could feel the tension in his voice. The closer they got to Ostagar the more withdrawn he became. She knew it was apprehension regarding seeing his brother again. They had talked about it briefly before, she knew he felt that he should have never left his parents. He carried a lot of guilt about that night with him. Amara tried to comfort him but knew that he would find no peace until he had spoken with his brother.

The horse's hooves clattered along the stone of the bridge as they slowly started to cross it. Amara leaned and peered over the edge and shuddered. The ravine was at least a hundred feet down and it went on for as far as she could see. She did not like being on this bridge one bit and wish they were moving across it faster. These ruins were ancient, who knew when the stone would fail and send the bridge tumbling into the ravine.

They had finally reached the other side and were greeted by a group of armed men encircling a man in golden armor. They dismounted; Aedan helped Amara down and kept his arm wrapped protectively around her waist as they approached the guards. The man pushed his guards aside and rushed to meet Duncan.

"Duncan! I am so happy you are here!" the man gushed. "It has been just awful trying to work with Loghain. The man is more stubborn than a mule in heat." Amara stifled a giggle at the phrase drawing attention to her in the process. The man in golden armor focused his eyes on her. Amara immediately lowered her eyes to the ground. The man was obviously a noble, his armor was the finest she had seen and he was handsome with golden hair pulled back into a ponytail. It wasn't until Duncan spoke that she realized who he was.

"Your Majesty," Duncan bowed. "I am relieved to be back, I have much to report." By the Maker, Amara thought, he's the King! She kept her eyes focused on the ground as she leaned towards Aedan as if trying to hide.

"Well what do we have here?" she heard the man say. She felt Aedan's arm tighten around her waist. She looked up at him to see him thin lipped and scowling. She glanced up at the man in gold; his eyes were fixated on her.

"Pardons my lord," said Duncan. "These are two more Grey Warden recruits. This is Amara Amell of the Kinloch Hold." Amara curtseyed and went back to stand next to Aedan, a move the man noticed. "And this is Aedan Cousland who I'm sure you already know." The man's eyes widened.

"Aedan… it's been ages. You have my deepest sympathies over what happened to your family and I swear Howe will be dealt with when we return to Denerim." Aedan bowed deeply.

"Thank you your Majesty. Have you seen my brother? I wish to speak with him as soon as possible." He returned to Amara's side and rested his hand on her lower back.

"Of course you do. He is in the far pavilion going over scouting reports with Loghain. You may accompany me there." The Kings eyes lingered back to Amara. "I didn't realize you were recruiting beautiful mages for the order Duncan. Have you had any resistance from the Chantry on this?" Amara felt her cheeks burn. She wanted nothing more than for her and Aedan to get back on the horse and ride far away from here.

"Some your Majesty, I had to invoke the rite of conscription to obtain Amell," Duncan responded. "She is a blessing to our ranks, she is a very powerful mage," Duncan noted.

The King approached her and took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, brushing a light kiss across her knuckles. "My lady," he breathed. "One as lovely as you should not be going to battle. It marks a dark time in my reign when we send someone so beautiful to war." Recognition struck her that moment as she noted when he did that he looked just as Alistair did yesterday when he did the exact same thing. She glanced quickly at the other Warden that stood near Duncan and back at the King. They could be brothers she thought, cousins' maybe? They looked very similar. She returned her attention to the King.

"I thank you your Majesty but I do not go into battle alone, my brothers and sisters of the Grey Wardens will be fighting at my side and with Aedan as my Champion, I will be well protected." She turned her head to give Aedan and affectionate smile. Some of Aedan's stony façade fell away as he nodded at her. The King noticed this and smirked.

"Well Aedan, you surprise me… no longer the quiet shy boy of Highever, now a Champion. I would be very interested to see how your skills have improved over the years… perhaps a duel before battle? I want to make sure you can protect such lovely creature." The King brought her hand to his lips again, giving her a heated look. Amara wanted to pull her hand away but knew it would be seen as an insult.

"Of course you Majesty, I look forward to it," responded Aedan with an almost feral grin on his face.

"I don't know if I would recommend that your Majesty. We have much planning to do, Loghain would not be pleased. Also Aedan has proven his abilities on our journey here, his skills with his blades far surpassed my own against a darkspawn horde we ran into," Duncan stated. His face remained completely neutral. The King let go of Amara's hand and regarded Aedan for a moment, his eyes unreadable.

"Of course Duncan, come! We have much planning for our glorious victory against the darkspawn." He whirled around without another word and headed towards the center tents with his guard in tow. Amara let out a sigh of relief. She turned to look at Aedan; he was glaring at the King as he walked away. She reached for him, her hand gently folding around his. He looked down at her hand and up at her. He was still angry but he gave her small smile and squeezed her hand. Duncan motioned them to follow the King. As they neared the pavilions Duncan stopped and turned towards Aedan and Amara.

"Alistair, wait for us at the Kings tent, we will be along shortly I would like a word with Amara and Aedan," said Duncan. Alistair nodded and headed up the path, once he was out of sight Duncan motioned his two recruits to follow him. He stopped in an area with few people.

"I think it would be beneficial to keep Amara as far away from Cailan as possible. I know of his reputation as do you Aedan. I do not want an incident where a Grey Warden guts the King of Ferelden." Amara looked between the two confused.

"I have had unwanted suitors before Duncan, I am perfectly capable of dealing with this myself," Amara stated confidently. Aedan and Duncan shared a look and Aedan reached for her turning her to look at him.

"You don't understand… what a King wants a King gets one way or another," Aedan said quietly. Amara looked up at him shocked. She started sputtering indignantly.

"I don't care who he is, I'm not some whore that nobility passes around like a collection plate at the Chantry. He so much as touches me he will regret it," Amara seethed… small purple lightning crackled around her fingers causing Aedan and Duncan to step back.

"I don't want an incident where a mage sends a lightning bolt through the Kings chest either… just stay away from him and never go anywhere alone. Always stay with Aedan, Alistair, Riordan or myself, do not go anywhere near the Kings tent. And be aware of Templars, they could drain you and you would be helpless," Duncan warned. At that Amara laughed.

"I haven't met a Templar that could drain me, why do you think Greagoir didn't want me free. Their abilities do not work on me," Amara sighed. "Ok, I'll stay away, this is ridiculous though… I can take care of myself," she muttered.

"Duncan, can we have a few minutes?" Aedan asked, his eyes never leaving Amara. Duncan nodded.

"Of course, meet us by the Kings tent," Duncan said as he turned and walked away. Aedan reached for her, pulling her into an embrace. Amara felt herself calm at his touch, her anger and confusion slipping away. He pulled away and kissed her fiercely, his hands holding the sides of her face. Amara grabbed onto his shoulders to steady herself from the onslaught of his kisses. Aedan broke the kiss and stroked her cheek, his fingers were gentle.

"Promise me you will do as Duncan says," he said, his eyes were full of apprehension and if she was not mistaken, fears as well.

"Aedan I can…" she started to say but was cutoff.

"No Amara, promise me," he said forcibly. Amara stared at him dismayed; he was not acting like himself. "You do not understand this cannot end well for either of us. The thought of that man touching you…" Aedan shook with anger. Amara reached her hand up and cupped his cheek; Aedan covered her hand with his and closed his eyes. He was trying desperately to calm himself, he gripped her hand tightly.

"I promise," Amara said quietly. "I will make an effort to go places that he does not go. Just promise me that you will calm down and stop worrying so much. I love you Aedan, I do not want anyone but you so don't even think for one second that want the affections of another." She leaned up and kissed him softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Aedan pulled her to him and deepened the kiss, his arms tight around her waist. He broke the kiss and hugged her, pulling her tight to him as he rested his cheek on her forehead.

"I love you too," he said as he stroked her back. "I wish you could be there with me when I talk to my brother." Amara hugged him tighter, she knew how difficult this was going to be for him and she wouldn't be able to help him. "We should get going, no point putting off the inevitable," he said. Amara nodded and stepped back. She reached behind her head and pulled her cloak up hiding her face. Aedan gave her a sad smile and pulled the hood back enough to steal one last kiss before pulling it forward to hide her features again. Amara took his hand in hers as they started to walk to where Duncan and Alistair were waiting.

Amara noticed a third man standing with them as they approached. He looked about Duncan's age but had a more relaxed stance about him. He wore the traditional Grey Warden armor with griffons painted on the chest piece. Unlike Duncan he kept his beard and hair cropped short. When they arrived the man bowed and introduced himself as Riordan, Duncan's second. Amara curtseyed but did not remove the hood.

"It's alright lass, Alistair here already told me you quite the looker, there is no reason to hide when the King is preoccupied," Riordan remarked. Amara did not remove the hood.

"If its fine with you, I'd prefer to leave it on," she said, her hand gripping Aedan's tightly. Riordan chuckled.

"Alright lass, if you wish. We should be going, I'll introduce you to some of the other Wardens and we can get you settled into your tent. Maybe we can find you one of those veils the Orlesian wear." he said as he waved for her to follow him. Amara looked at Aedan, he nodded and she let her hand slip from his. She turned and gave him one last look before falling in behind Riordan and Alistair.

-O-


	10. Chapter 10 Family ties

**Authors Note:** I never liked the idea in the game that Fergus was off on a scouting party… he was the heir to the Teyrnir of Highever, a noble; realistically there would be no way he'd be participating in some random scouting party. He would have been part of the planning with Loghain and Cailan. His role would have been much bigger than it was in the game. Please review and let me know what you think.

-O-

**Chapter 10 – Family ties**

**Aedan**

He watched her walk away, his hand still warm from her touch. This was not how it was supposed to be, they were supposed to be together. Aedan clenched his hands as she was led away by strangers; it was taking all of his willpower to not go after her. Duncan broke his internal fight when he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Come Aedan, she is in good hands. Riordan will not allow anyone to harm her, you have my word." Duncan's words were of little comfort but he knew he needed to go inside. He had to talk to Fergus and Cailan about Highever. He signed and followed Duncan into the pavilion, the sooner this was over with the sooner he could find Amara.

The inside of the pavilion was richly decorated with rugs and pillows. There was furniture as well; tables and chairs made of polished oak filled the room. At a far table sat Cailan in his golden armor looking bored and disinterested as his brother and Loghain discussed the latest scouting reports.

"… There are hordes of darkspawn that are just disappearing. The scouts see them at dusk and at dawn they are just gone, the tracks disappear into the mud of the bogs. Other nearby scouts on the other side of the bogs never saw them come out. Where are they going? We've even sent scouts into the bogs and they are not there," said Fergus. "I don't like this Loghain, if we can't accurately track the darkspawn we have no idea when or where they will strike us."

"Maybe this whole darkspawn threat is just a little exaggerated? I've told you and the Grey Wardens for weeks that this was not a Blight, just a few more darkspawn than normal. Maybe they are going back into the Deep Roads?" Loghain scoffed. "While we are down here chasing darkspawn shadows, Howe goes unpunished. I have reports that his men have been spotted near Denerim. Are we willing to risk Denerim as we idly sit by waiting for darkspawn to amass and attack us?"

"Denerim is well protected Loghain, Ser Cauthrien has been sent back with a battalion of men to ready the city guard should Howe be stupid enough to try and take Denerim. The darkspawn threat is real, the scouts have seen too many for this to be considered normal," replied an exasperated Fergus.

"They are not going back into the Deep Roads… they are burrowing underneath you," said Duncan. All heads turned towards them at the entrance.

Loghain snorted. "And how do you know that Duncan?" he sneered. Duncan approached the table leaving Aedan at the entrance.

"I know this because I and two recruits ran into a horde of them not two days journey from here. We managed to cave in the tunnel, there are no telling how many more than the hundred or so we killed were in that tunnel. There is no telling how many tunnels they have into Ferelden." The room was silent after Duncan's statement. Fergus pushed his chair back and quickly stood, his eyes locked on Aedan.

"Aedan?" he asked quietly as he just noticed him by the entrance. Aedan bowed his head.

"Hello brother…" he said simply. Fergus rushed past Duncan to stand before his brother. For a brief moment Aedan thought his brother would strike him, so fierce was the look in his eyes. Fergus didn't say anything; he just stood there looking at him for a moment. Aedan could barely meet his eyes, all of the guilt and sorrow he had been bottling up for days was surfacing. Fergus didn't hit him as he feared; instead he clasped his shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

"I received Duncan's letter two days ago… I don't know how you survived brother but my heart is glad," he said as he roughly patted him on the back. "That bastard Howe will pay. I will see to it," he seethed.

"I couldn't save them," Aedan whispered. "By the time we reached Oriana and Oren it was too late. I'm so sorry Fergus." Aedan was unaware of the tears that streaked down his cheeks as he held on to his brother. "I failed to protect them. I failed them all." Fergus jerked back from his brother and shook his head angrily.

"There was nothing you could have done. Howe knew that, all of our forces were committed to Ostagar. What were you going to do against several battalions of men? You would be as dead as everyone else. Father was right to send you with Duncan. No brother, the blame is not with you. You are lucky you made it out of there alive." He grabbed Aedan's arm and pulled him toward the door. "Come on, let's get a drink. We can talk about this more when I'm less sober." Aedan looked to Duncan for permission.

"Go ahead; I will brief King Cailan and Loghain on the darkspawn we ran into. I'll have you items sent to the Grey Warden area. We have our camp on the far side of the main bonfire. You will see our banners," Duncan said as he walked to the far side of the pavilion where Loghain and Cailan were waiting.

-O-

They left the area and headed to smaller less grand tent but still larger than most. Fergus led him in, it was sparsely furnished. There were a couple chairs, a cot and a few trunks located inside. Fergus pulled a key from his pocket and opened one of the trunks and pulled out a bottle of Antivan brandy and a couple of glasses. Aedan quietly took a seat at the small table, his thoughts still focused on the night of the attack on Highever. Fergus poured them both a drink before settling back in his chair.

"Tell me everything brother, do not leave one thing out. The letter we received from Duncan had the basics but I want to know everything that happened to you," said Fergus as he took a large drink from his glass. Aedan did the same, his hands slightly trembled. He sighed as the golden liquid warmly coated his throat as he drank; he finished his glass and sat it on the table while Fergus refilled it. He started telling Fergus what happened that night in extensive detail. He left nothing out as he relived the horrors of that night. At one time Fergus threw the now empty bottle at the ground and smashed it. He abruptly retrieved a second bottle from the chest. He kept Aedan's glass full until the tale was done. Fergus slammed his fist onto the table startling Aedan.

"Howe will die if it's the last thing I do and I will make his death last days. There will be no mercy for that monster," Fergus said before slamming another glass of the brandy. Aedan sat there quietly, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders now that he told Fergus what happened that night. They sat there in silence for a long while, neither brother wished to discuss it further. He took his gloves off so that he could rub his eyes, he didn't even think about the runes on his hands until Fergus brought it up.

"What happened to your hands brother?" Fergus grabbed one of his hands so he could get a better look. Aedan pulled his hand away and replaced his gloves.

"That is a story for another night; I should be getting back to the Grey Wardens…" Aedan went to stand up and the room started to spin, he immediately sat back down. Fergus laughed at him.

"Well since you are staying…" Fergus poured him another glass. Aedan glared at him and waved off the drink. "Come now brother, it's still early we have plenty of time. Tell me how your hands were branded." Aedan sighed and picked up the glass for another drink he had told himself he wouldn't take.

"I met a woman, her name is Amara. She was recruited by Duncan from Kinloch Hold." At the mention of the Circle Tower Fergus raised an eyebrow at him. Aedan caught the look and sighed. "Yes she's a mage… a very beautiful and powerful one." Fergus gave him an appraising look.

"If I didn't know better, I would think my little brother is in love." Fergus laughed and poured himself another drink. Aedan sat there quietly staring at his glass. "No! You are aren't you?" Fergus slammed his glass on the table in a fit of laughter. "I told you didn't I? I told you one day this would happen my broody little brother." Fergus was practically in tears. Aedan growled and kicked his brothers chair leg sending him toppling to the ground. Fergus was still laughing as he lay on the ground.

"Oh now I know for sure," he said as he pulled himself up and sat back in the chair. He refilled both their glasses. "So tell me how this happened in the short journey from Highever to here?" Aedan didn't want to discuss this with Fergus now but every time he tried to stand up the room would spin leaving him trapped in his chair.

"You're drunk," Aedan mumbled. Fergus took another drink.

"Aye brother, so are you. Now tell me about this woman… Amara and what she has to do with those marks on your hands." Aedan glared at his brother and Fergus smirked in return. "You can give me that angry look all night brother but you are going to spill it or I will go find this young lady myself and ask her how she managed to do what no noble women could do." Aedan laughed at that.

"You don't even know what she looks like," he said as he tried to stand again and failed.

"Oh but I do, let me see… long golden red hair braided, emerald green eyes, full red lips and fair skin. Very difficult to miss a woman that resembles that description." Aedan just stared at him dumbfounded that Fergus knew about Amara.

"How?" he asked.

"Calian… when he got back from the bridge couldn't shut up about a woman he saw there. I thought Loghain was going to run him through at one point," Fergus chuckled. Aedan groaned and covered his face with his hands. Fergus clapped his hand on his brothers back. "Don't worry about it brother, Calian isn't that stupid. He knows he'd risk alienating not only the Highever forces in his army but the Grey Wardens if he so much as touched her inappropriately." Fergus poured himself another drink. He leaned back in his chair and watched his brother wrestle a mixture of emotions. "So… are you going to talk or do I need to start walking?" Aedan signed, he knew his brother would have the audacity to go track down Amara.

"I don't know what you want me to say. I knew from the moment I saw her that she was special… the more I talked to her and spent time with her I just knew. I finally had the courage to tell her that I love her this morning." Aedan took another drink from his glass; this was not a conversation he wanted to have with his brother.

"Why do I feel like you've told me nothing?" grumbled Fergus. Aedan glared at him.

"You want specifics? I've never asked you the same questions about any of the women you've been with. I would expect the same courtesy granted to me," Aedan said defensively.

"Yes I want specifics! My brother the man who had to be dragged to the Pearl by two men..." Aedan snorted at that comment. "My brother the man who wouldn't look twice at any of the noble girls' shows up here with a beautiful mage on his arm and says he's in love with her. You also have some type of marks on his hands he won't explain… so yes I want specifics." Fergus leaned forward and looked at him. "Is she a blood mage?" The look Aedan gave his brother at that moment would have struck most men with fear.

"You are lucky you are my brother Fergus or I'd run you through for even having the nerve to ask that question," Aedan said in a low voice. Fergus waved his hands in surrender, not wanting to push his brother too much.

"Calm down brother, I had to ask. You should get used to it; you know how people feel about mages. I'm sure I won't be the last to ask that question. Ok, so she's not a blood mage… that's good. So what is she? A healer?" Aedan remembered when Amara healed his scar before they left the tower. His memory then flashed to Amara harnessing a lightning bolt in her bare hand. She was so magnificent then, like a goddess… his goddess. Fergus noticing the faraway look in his brother's eyes waved his hand in front of his face. "Still with me brother?" Aedan looked at him, his eyes refocusing to the present, he nodded.

"Her magic is different, that is why the First Enchanter contacted Duncan… the Knight Commander at Kinloch was looking for a way to get rid of her." Aedan remembered how they had her locked in that small room when they arrived. His anger started to build again.

"What do you mean, get rid of her? They were going to kill her?" Fergus asked his eyes widened. Aedan nodded.  
"They were just looking for a reason. She had even helped them track down blood mages and healed so many… Greagoir was still going to do it," Aedan snarled. "If they knew how powerful she really is they would come after her, I'm not going to let that happened." He grabbed his neglected glass and took another large drink.

"How powerful is she?" asked Fergus his voice full of trepidation. Aedan glanced at his brother and saw the worry in his eyes.

"Powerful enough to kill an ogre single handed and collapse their tunnel on them," he said quietly.

"How? You have to be joking… the mages I've seen in battle here can barely restrain an ogre much less kill it," Fergus asked his voice full of skepticism.

"I've seen her reach to the sky and pull a lightning bolt from it with her bare hands and send it through the chest of an ogre." Fergus whistled in amazement. "Her magic is different than other mages; she takes power from her surroundings, not lyrium. That's why the Chantry fears her and why you must not tell anyone what I've told you. Duncan knows but neither he nor I want the King or Loghain to know." Fergus shook his head and reached for his glass again.

"I won't say anything but doesn't this bother you? Doesn't the magic scare you?" Fergus asked. Aedan stared down at his glass, he swirled the golden liquid around before responding.

"I admit it did at first… when the first rune appeared. I was scared and said things I regret even now… She was so upset that her magic had affected me that she offered a blade to Duncan to kill her before she harmed anyone else." Fergus just looked at him shocked. "She had thought the worst when the first rune appeared… so did I but they are a gift, not anything evil or bad. It was when the second on appeared that the reason became clear why I was marked." Aedan had removed his gloves and was admiring the two runes, tracing their outlines with his fingers.

"Why are you marked brother?" Fergus asked quietly as he watched Aedan cautiously.

"I am her Champion; I am marked so I can protect her. These runes enable me to wield some of her magic in battle. Duncan said I cut down well over 70 darkspawn to protect her when we ran into the horde on our way here." Fergus just stared at him the shock evident on his face. "I couldn't believe it myself but Duncan is not one to lie about something like that." Aedan noticed the look of worry on Fergus' face. Aedan smiled at him and said," you need not worry about me Fergus, I am happy with her and my role to protect her. I feel as though I have a purpose now, for years I have not felt that way. My life was dictated to me… I would have been the Captain of your guard; I would have been forced to marry some lesser nobles' daughter that I didn't love. You'll understand once you meet her."

"Well if that's the case, let's go." Fergus rose up out of the seat and staggered towards the chest that has the brandy in it.

"I don't think I could stand much less walk to the Grey Warden camp," Aedan said as he attempt again to stand but could not. He started to think that in his drunken state if he just lay down on the floor now everything would be better.

"Lucky for you brother that I plan ahead…" Fergus said as he reached into the chest to pull out two vials of brown liquid. He closed the lid and stumbled back to his chair. "Here drink this." He said as he handed one of the vials to Aedan.

"What is this?" Aedan pulled the cork at the top and smelled the liquid. "By the Maker this smells horrible! What is it?"

"After I found out what happened in Highever I hit the bottle, well you can't help manage soldiers if you're passed out in your own vomit. One of the mages, she made me a batch of these potions after I stumbled into the mage camp one night. It works… you can drink yourself into a stupor; drink one of these potions and in a few minutes you are fine." Fergus pulled the stopper and drank the foul liquid in one swallow. He tossed it to the corner of the tent. Aedan noticed there were several other empty vials littering the ground there. Aedan shook his head and choked down the liquid. He started to feel the fog in his brain lift. He tried to take a stand again and was now able to do it. He smiled at his brother; he took a few steps and felt his balance return. Fergus clapped him on the back and shoved him towards the tents entrance.

"Let's go little brother, take me to meet this woman of yours," Fergus said as they left to find the Warden Camp.

-O-

Fergus seemed to know where the Wardens were camping so Aedan fell in line behind him. The sun was setting in the sky casting long shadows across the ruins. Darkness was quickly approaching, as they walked through the camp several torches and camp fires sprung to life. Aedan was glad they had left Fergus' tent when they did. It would be impossible to navigate the area at night. He also just wanted to see her again. They had only been separated for a few hours but it felt like days for Aedan. He felt himself grow more anxious as they traveled through the maze of tents.

They reached an area that had a banner of two griffons on it. Fergus led him inside the area. There were several tents surrounding a larger one in the center. Standing outside the larger tent was Duncan and the man who had taken Amara away from him… Riordan. He looked around and did not see Amara anywhere. Duncan noticed them standing at the entrance of the camp and waved them over.

"Good evening gentlemen, I trust all is well?" asked Duncan. Aedan barely noticed the question; he was too focused at looking around the camp for Amara.

"Everything is good; we're here to see the mage that has my brother hopelessly enthralled. Do you…" Aedan punched his brother in the arm when he heard that comment. "Ow! No need for violence brother I was just stating the obvious." Duncan and Riordan both smirked at Aedan's obvious discomfort. "Anyway, do you know where she is?"

"She's tending the wounded," responded Riordan. "She insisted after she saw some wounded scouts return from the Wilds. Alistair is watching over her." Aedan sighed, he did not like the idea of her being alone with just the one Warden but he knew why she insisted to go.

"Are they at the normal triage area?" asked Fergus. Riordan nodded. "Come on Aedan, that's just over this ways a bit." They took their leave and headed to where the wounded were kept.

When they arrived Aedan was dismayed over the number of wounded soldiers there were. He wondered if Loghain ever visited this place to see the amount of men had been wounded by the non-existent darkspawn threat. Aedan looked around the area searching for her. He caught the glimpse of a greenish blue glow coming from one of the far beds. His pace quickened when he saw the glow fade. Fergus had to nearly run to keep up with him. He found her sitting on a stool next to the bed of a wounded soldier. Her eyes were closed as she rested her hands on a large wound on his leg. The magic poured out of her hands and into the injured man's leg. He watched in awe as the flesh started to knit itself back together. He heard Fergus gasp to his left. The glow brightened to nearly a bright white color before fading again to a dull greenish blue glow. Aedan could see that the wound was gone and new flesh was in its place. She gently then took a cloth and wiped the blood off the man's leg. She waved her hand and he noticed Alistair appear from somewhere near the foot of the bed with a small bucket. She rinsed the cloth then and folded it up and rested it on the man's forehead. Her hands rested on each side of the man's head and her hands started to glow a vibrant blue. The glow faded and she sat back and waited. Aedan watched as the man opened his eyes. He was still too far away to hear what she said to the man, he could just see the man was smiling at her. She stood and wiped her hands on an apron she was wearing. She turned and saw him. Amara smiled at him, her heart was in her eyes. Aedan's breath caught in his throat, she was positively radiant. She removed the blood stained apron and rushed to him. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Aedan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. At that moment everything seemed right in the world. He heard Fergus clear his throat then. With a slight groan he broke the kiss so he could introduce her to his brother. His arms still wrapped around her he turned to his brother.

"Amara, I'd like you to meet my brother Fergus," he said as he extended a hand toward his brother. Amara looked a bit embarrassed. She pulled away from Aedan and approached Fergus.

She curtseyed and said, "It's a pleasure to meet you my lord. My deepest sympathies for the loss of your family, I will do whatever I can to assist in bringing Howe to justice." She kept her head bowed. Fergus reached for hand and brushed a kiss across her knuckles.

"Thank you my lady and it is a pleasure to meet the woman who has won my brothers heart," he said with a grin. Even in the fading light Aedan could see her cheeks turn pink. Fergus let her hand go and stepped back by Aedan.

"Are you all done here?" asked Aedan. Amara shook her head.

"There is one more that I need to heal tonight the rest can wait until tomorrow." She said as she pointed to a bed not far away.

"Would you like to join us for late supper when you are done here?" asked Fergus. Aedan gave him a look that Fergus ignored. Amara smiled and nodded.

"I would like that, I'm quite famished," she said. "It will only be few minutes longer." She rushed over to grab her stool before heading over to the next patient.

Fergus placed his hand on Aedan's shoulder. "You never stood a chance brother," he laughed.

-O-


	11. Chapter 11 From her past

**Authors Note:** I wanted to bring in a few characters this chapter, focus a little bit on some limitations Amara has and add some steamy bits. After this chapter the following chapters will start being in viewpoints other than Aedan and Amara.

-O-

**Chapter 11 – From her past**

**Amara**

She awoke shortly before dawn, her body wrapped around Aedan's and her head resting on his chest. She sighed happily and pressed herself closer to him causing his arm to tighten around her waist. He was still asleep, his breathing slow and even. Amara smiled and brought her hand up to slowly and softly caress his chest. She wished they could stay like this forever but she knew that wasn't possible, she had to finish healing the wounded. Today she was not going to make the same mistake as yesterday; she wasn't going to leave until he was awake. She started to hear the sounds of the other wardens waking up and move around the camp. She scooted herself up so she could watch him sleep before the noise woke him. His handsome face was so peaceful, the worried creases in his forehead were gone; he seemed younger now, closer to her age. She lightly brushed her fingers down the side of his face. Amara leaned forward and lightly brushed a kiss across his lips. She felt him intake a sharp breath, she knew that he was awake now. He reached his hand up to tangle in her hair a he pulled her closer, bringing her lips back to his. The kiss was slow and passionate, not as frenzied or desperate like many of the kisses the night before.

"Oy! Wake up! Breakfast in thirty," said an unknown voice as the tent shook. Amara broke the kiss and looked at tent entrance annoyed. She looked back at Aedan and sighed.

"I should have woken you up earlier," she said wistfully. She went to sit up and Aedan pulled her back down. He claimed her lips again and pulled her on top of him. Amara broke the kiss. "We don't have time," she whispered as he started kissing on her neck.

"Yes we do, we have plenty," he said as he nuzzled her neck. "We just have to be very quiet." He sat up and pulled her on to his lap and held her there as he left a trail of kisses down her neck to her breasts. Amara arched her back and sighed as he fondled and caressed her, giving into the pleasure. Aedan pulled her up and kissed her intensely; he wrapped his arms around her waist and grinding his hips into her core. Amara's breathing was labored as the sensations began to overwhelm her. She grabbed onto his shoulders as he positioned himself at her entrance, Amara bit back a moan and shuddered as he slowly entered her. Aedan pulled her close as his grabbed a hold of her hips to move them back and forth. They soon found a rhythm as they clung to each other. It did not take much time for the passion to overtake them. Their kisses were frantic as they drove each other towards the edge. Aedan bucked his hips as his climax approached pushing Amara into the abyss, she whimpered into Aedan's mouth as she rode it out. Aedan groaned shortly after and buried his face in her chest as they clung to each other trembling as they tried to catch their breath. Aedan looked up at her, his hand brushed her hair from her face.

"So beautiful…" he murmured. He leaned forward and kissed her again. "I love you," he said as he kissed her. Amara's heart felt so full that moment, never before was she this contented.

"I love you too Aedan," she hugged him tightly before they pulled apart. "I wish we didn't need to get ready." Aedan nodded; with a heavy sigh he helped her gather her things. She helped Aedan with his armor when she was done getting ready. They embraced and kissed one last time before they heard someone yell for all the wardens to report to breakfast. Aedan gave her a quick smile as he held her hand as they exited the tent.

"I told you we had plenty of time," he leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips before leading her to where the other wardens were gathering.

-O-

Amara had never seen a group of people eat so much in her life. She had to help serve the Templars dinner many nights and never did she see such a gross display of gluttony ever. She averted her eyes as much as possible, focusing her eyes on her small bowl of porridge and handful of dried dates. She glanced at Aedan; he seemed to be disgusted as well. He caught her look and made a face mimicking a pig and she had to stifle a laugh. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss; he continued to hold it as they resumed breakfast. Amara noticed some strange looks from the other wardens but ignored them especially Alistair.

Amara scanned the tables and noticed there were no other women seated at the tables. Riordan was sitting to her right; she decided to ask him about the lack of female wardens.

"Riordan, I couldn't help but notice there doesn't appear to be any other female wardens here. Am I the only one in Ferelden?" she asked. Riordan shook his head and pointed to the south.

"There's one other, an elf girl Duncan recruited about four months ago. Mahariel, she's out with a group scouting. We try to send at least two wardens out with each scouting party. They'll be back today," explained Riordan. Amara felt slightly better that she wasn't the only one. Amara was about to ask why there were so few women when a man in Chantry robes rushed into the dining area. He spoke briefly with Duncan who was seated at a table on the far side of the room. Duncan pointed towards her direction and the man ran to her table.

"Mistress Amell! We need your assistance! Several have returned with wounds that are beyond our skill," he said trying to catch his breath. Amara was already on her feet, breakfast forgotten. She noticed Aedan also stood. She laid a hand on his arm.

"I'll be alright, don't you have to meet Fergus soon?" she asked. There was no reason for Aedan to stand around all day waiting while she healed people.

"Are you sure?" he asked. She could tell by the look he gave her that he didn't want her to go alone.

"I'll be fine Aedan, I need to go." She leaned forward and gave him a kiss. "When you are done with Fergus, you'll know where I'll be."

"Milady we need to hurry," the man in Chantry robes said. She nodded and grabbed her green herb bag from the back of her chair and rushed from the dining tent.

They ran through the maze of tents. Amara nearly tripped over or bumped into several people on the way. Amara noticed a foul smell in the air as she approached a large tent. She stopped and looked inside. There were about sixteen men lying on cots. They were in terrible condition; the smell from the tent alone was enough to make her stomach turn. She was about to enter when the man in Chantry robes grabbed her arm.

"Please milady this way. These men are tainted, nothing can be done for them," he said briskly. "The scouts are this way." He tugged on her arm. Amara took a last look at the men in the tent before following the Chantry brother again.

When they arrived Amara could understand the haste. There were five men from the latest scouting party where were severely wounded, blood was everywhere. She did a quick survey of the injured. Amara let her magic flow; she closed her eyes and let the magic tell her where to go. She rushed to the bedside of a man whose arm was nearly severed off; he had several other slash wounds all over. She could feel his heart slowing, death was near. Her hands burst into green flames which she laid on the man's chest and arm. She didn't hear the startled gasps of the small crowd that had formed around her as she started healing. Once she was sure this soldier was stable she moved on to the next one. So focused was she on the task at hand she did not notice when Alistair showed up. When she was done with the third soldier she noticed him standing there. He had the bucket from the day before in his hand.

"Bucket boy at your service my lady," he said with a bow. Amara laughed, she was grateful for the help.

"Riordan send you to babysit me again today?" she asked as she checked the wound on the soldier in the cot before her. Alistair shook his head.

"No, they are all busy with Loghain and the King. I grew bored of listening to the arguing and decided that a pretty lady might need my help," he gave Amara a charming smile. Amara blushed and felt a little uncomfortable. She couldn't believe he just flirted with her. Alistair was an attractive man but she wasn't interested.

She gave him a thin smile. "Of course Alistair I can always use help. Do you want to fetch some water?" she asked.

"Right water… let me get that." He headed off towards the water barrels. Amara shook her head and went back to healing. She could feel herself growing tired as she finished up with fourth soldier. She hoped she had enough in her to finish the rest. She was heading for the last one when Alistair returned. He looked shocked when he saw the man on the cot and the woman sitting next to them.

"Will? Lena?" he asked shocked. The woman turned her head towards Alistair, Amara could see now she was an elf.

"Hey Alistair… William decided to throw himself on a darkspawn sword… three times." There was a faint chuckle from the cot.

"I wanted to do it right," the man said. His voice was familiar.

"Well that's good because I brought the best healer in Ferelden to heal you," Alistair said as he reached for Amara's hand to guide her to the cot. Amara couldn't believe her eyes.

"Will Surana? Is that really you?" Amara asked. She rushed to the side of the cot. An elf with black hair stared up at her. He was dressed in an odd robe that had chainmail woven into the arms and chest. The front bore the symbol of the Wardens, a two bright white griffons, they were covered in blood.

"By the Maker is that you Amara Amell? This is my lucky day…" his voice trailed off as he lost consciousness. The female elf that Alistair called Lena started to shake him.

"William? Wake up! You better not die on me William after I carried your ass halfway through these blighted swamps," she cried. Alistair placed a hand on her shoulder, she glared at him.

"Please Lena, let Amara work on him. You should let Duncan know what happened." The elf shrugged off his hand and stomped away. She turned and looked at Amara.

"You better not let him die shem!" She spun around and walked toward the Warden Camp. Amara just sat there stunned at the woman's outburst and pulled a stool up to Will's cot. Alistair stood across the cot from her, he looked apologetically at her.

"Sorry about that," he said. "Lena can be a bit harsh at times." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I bet when she finds out you're a recruit she'll be nicer." Great, Amara thought… the only other female warden is a complete harpy. She closed her eyes and reached her magic out to Will. He was weak but not dying. She worked her magic to knit the flesh back together; he had some cracked ribs as well. As she worked on him she couldn't help but remember the time she had spent with him and Anders. They had so much fun even though they were surrounded by Templars in the Tower. They were always getting into some type of trouble. Poor Irving was always in Greagoir's office smoothing things over. She then remembered how heartbroken she was when they escaped the tower without even saying goodbye. She knew why, they didn't tell so she wouldn't be implicated in their escape but it still hurt. Amara couldn't believe Will was a Grey Warden and wondered what happened to Anders.

She was starting to feel better about being a Grey Warden now that she knew Aedan would be there with her and now Will. Even Alistair helped her feel like she was becoming a part of something. No longer was she the scared girl that left the Tower a fortnight ago. So much has changed in such a short time, she was really happy where things were going… especially with Aedan. She couldn't wait to introduce him to Will.

She finished up healing the last major sword wound and used a cloth to wipe the blood from Will's face. He was the same old Will that use to be one of her best friends in the Tower but he looked a little older now. Now that will was taken care of she wanted to go back to that tent she saw on the way here this morning. Amara made to stand and sat back down. She knew she had pushed herself too far, she felt suddenly weak and a bit dizzy. There was little in this area to replenish from, no trees, water or any other life. The entire camp was on barren ground, any trees were cut down long ago. It was a mistake to try and stand again, she realized it too late when the world started spinning and her knees started to buckle. She felt herself falling when a strong pair of arms wrapped around her.

"I've got you," a voice said next to her ear and then everything went black.

-O-

The sun was high in the sky when she woke up. Her head hurt and she felt like she was going to be sick as a wave of nausea hit her when she tried to sit up. A gentle hand pushed her back down.

"One of these days you're going to drain yourself beyond the point of recovering," a stern voice said. Amara knew that voice; it was one that chided her through most of her life.

"Wynne?" she asked weakly?

"You are lucky that boy brought you to us and I was here before someone started giving you lyrium potions. What were you thinking Amell? You only have a finite amount of power to use every day," Wynne scolded.

"I was thinking about keeping those scouts alive," Amara snapped back. Amara looked at her old mentor, the woman was still the same as she was in the Tower, all barbs and stingers. Irving had tasked Wynne with teaching Amara how to hide and control her magic. Over the years this has caused quite a volatile relationship between the two. Wynne resented having to try and tame this girl whose magic was unique and unknown. Amara resented Wynne's treatment of her and her constant browbeating. Amara glared at the woman for a few moments before sighing. "Thank you for helping… how did I get here?" she asked, not wanting to antagonize Wynne. The woman stared at her for a moment before making a huffing sound. She turned to the table at the bedside and started mix some herbs together in a cup.

"A young man brought you here, I sent him away… he was in the way," Wynne said haughtily. It had to be Alistair she thought; there was no way Aedan would have left. A momentary twinge of embarrassment caused her to blush as she remembered him grabbing her before she fell. She quickly dismissed it. Wynne's voice brought her out of her thoughts. "Why are you here Amell? I didn't know Irving was sending more mages to the Kings army, you least of all." Amara gritted her teeth at her tone. It didn't take very long for Wynne to get under her skin.

"I am not here on Irving's behalf," she said trying to keep her voice level. "I have been conscripted by the Grey Wardens… I am no longer a part of the Circle." Wynne turned sharply towards her, knocking a glass jar of the table that shattered on to the stone below.

"What? Impossible! There is no way Greagoir would allow it," Wynne scoffed. Amara found her patience slipping.

"There was nothing Greagoir could do to stop it," Amara said, her voice raising. She pushed herself up, the nausea forgotten as her anger rose.

"They can't just leave you unsupervised…" Wynne started to say when Amara cut her off.

"Have I ever harmed anyone? Have I not cooperated with the Templars, even helped them find blood mages when asked? What do you want Wynne? Do you want me made Tranquil or do you want to see me sent to Aeonar? Or is my death the only thing that will satisfy you?" Amara shouted. She did not notice her hands were starting to glow.

"Look at you! You can't even control yourself," Wynne yelled back as she pointed at Amara's hands. Amara looked down and glared at Wynne. Blue lightning bolts started to crackle around her glowing hands.

"I am controlling myself," Amara said with a stony voice. The look she gave Wynne caused her to take a step back; she could see fear in her eyes. "Just like everyone else in the Chantry, afraid of what you don't understand," she sneered at Wynne. Amara forced herself off the cot onto shaky legs; she turned and walked to the entrance. Before she left she turned to face Wynne once more. "Thank you again Senior Enchanter, I'm sure the Grey Wardens will be grateful for your assistance," she said disdainfully and left the tent. Outside sitting on a bench nearby was Alistair. He gave her a startled look, his eyes wide as she stomped past him.

"That incorrigible old biddy!" she snarled between gritted teeth. She glared at Alistair who fell in step beside her. "Why did you take me to her? Of all the mages here, why her?" Alistair looked extremely uncomfortable as her ire shifted to him.

"I'm sorry, I took you to the mage area, she was one of the ones there," he said. "It's not like I planned it or anything." He grabbed her arm, "Please stop ok?" he asked. Amara spun and looked at him.  
"What Alistair?" she said impatiently.

"Uh, look I am really sorry. I had no idea that mage lady was going to be so nasty to you. I didn't even think about something like that. I was scared for you; I just wanted to get you to someone that could help," Alistair said forlornly. He hung his head and Amara couldn't help but think he looked like a kicked puppy at that moment. Her eyes softened when she looked at him, she had no right to take out her frustrations on him.

"No, it's ok Alistair. I'm sorry it's just Wynne has this way of driving me mad. Thank you… for helping me. I appreciate it." She leaned up on her toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She turned and started walking back to check on Will. Alistair stood there stunned, his face a deep shade of crimson. He placed his hand over the spot where she kissed his cheek. Amara called over her shoulder.

"Are you coming 'Bucket boy'?" she joked. Alistair seemed to pull his wits together and started after her.

"Your wish is my command my lady," he said.

-O-


	12. Chapter 12 To want what you can't have

**Authors Note:** Sorry I know… too long between updates but I had a LOTR story in my head and work just sucks… I'm going to try and work both stories at once to help keep me from getting writers block which has been another thing plaguing me. Already started on the next chapter… enter Flemeth… yay!

-O-

**Chapter 12 – To want what you can't have…**

**Alistair**

If there was one person in all of Thedas that Alistair hated right now it was Aedan Cousland. It wasn't because Aedan was a bad individual or had done him any great evil. To the contrary, he has been nothing but courteous and honorable… the perfect noble. No it was not the man's actions that caused Alistair's animosity; it was what he possessed that Alistair did not that was the source of his ire.

He sat on the far side of the bonfire watching them. He looked on as Aedan spun her around as they danced while Daveth played the lute. Her laughter, sweet and melodic drifted on the wind, she was truly happy… with _him_. Their movements graceful and at times sensual, moving with such familiarity that only lovers have. It made Alistair ache as he watched her with him; he would give anything to be where Aedan was right now. Ever since he first laid eyes on her on the road to Ostagar he could think of nothing else. It was only made worse by the night in the inn, his room had been next to Aedan's… he had heard everything, every whimper, every cry of passion… everything. It had been burned into his memory and every night since it has been replayed in his mind except it is not Aedan causing her to moan and cry out, it is him.

His fantasies have been fueling his actions, he keeps finding ways to be around her even if it is only to stand there and watch her work on patients. Today when she collapsed, he felt his heart stop. Even with his worry and concern for her, he had reveled in the feel of her body as he carried her to the mage area of the camp. The softness of her curves and the smell of her hair… it haunted him now as he watched Aedan pull her close while Daveth started a new song that was much slower paced. She was so beautiful, even when she angrily burst from the tent after the fight with the older mage. Amara had an ethereal glow to her that took Alistair's breath away. Even though the kiss on the cheek she had given him was innocent in nature, it caused him to burn. If he concentrated he could almost feel her lips still pressed into his cheek. So lost in his longing for her, he did not notice when Will Surana sat next to him.

"They look good together," Will mentioned after he sat down. His comment startled Alistair out of his thoughts. Alistair just nodded; he did not trust his voice to not be heavy with sarcasm. "I just hope the Joining goes well," he said with apprehension. Alistair looked him sharply. The Joining, how could he have forgotten about it?

"Has Duncan said when it will be?" Alistair asked. He felt fear snake its way around his heart.

"Duncan didn't talk to you yet?" Will asked. Alistair shook his head. "Well, no matter… tomorrow you and I are taking the recruits into the Wilds to get the blood for the ritual." Alistair felt his stomach fall to his feet.

"So soon?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady. Will clasped his shoulder.

"Don't worry Alistair, I know you don't like to lead scouting missions but Duncan thinks you're ready and I'll be there. Our recruits can handle themselves too. I heard Aedan killed seventy darkspawn or more on the way here, I'm really interested to see what he can do," Will said eagerly.

"Seventy darkspawn? Sounds unlikely," Alistair scoffed.

"I don't think Duncan would lie about his skills Alistair," Will said quietly. "He said he never seen anything like it." Great, Alistair thought. Not only does he have her, he's an outstanding warrior. It keeps getting better and better…

"We'll see then," he muttered. "So you know Amara from the Tower?" He wanted to change the subject, he didn't want to talk about Aedan.

"We grew up together. I remember when they brought her to the tower," Will said with a thoughtful look on his face. "She so different than that frightened girl I met twelve years ago. Even in the past year she's changed so much. I still have many questions to ask…" He stood up and waved Amara over, they had stopped dancing and were talking to Duncan and Riordan. She nodded and started over towards them, her hand clutching Aedan's. Alistair felt uncomfortable when they pulled up stools directly across from him. Aedan nodded at him, Alistair did the same suddenly feeling a bit guilty and angry at the same time. He was angry because it just wasn't fair, she is everything he ever wanted yet here she is sitting across from him with her lover. Alistair felt guilty because she belong to another, it was not right to have these feelings for her.

"Duncan told us about tomorrow," Amara said. "Are you sure you are up for going back out there?" She leaned over and laid a hand Will's forehead, it started to glow blue.

"I'm fine _Mom,_" he said sarcastically as he batted her hands away. "Quit fussing over me Amara! I feel good, better than good." Amara gave him a pouting look. "That doesn't work on me anymore remember?" he chided. Amara laughed and leaned over and gave him a quick hug before returning to sit next to Aedan.

"Alistair, I want to thank you for helping Amara this afternoon," Aedan said as he wrapped his arm around Amara pulling her close and kissing her forehead. "I should have been there…" Alistair felt shame start to creep in. Aedan was thanking him; he didn't deserve it… if Aedan knew his desires, thanks would be the last thing he would be doing.

"Uh it was no problem," Alistair said uncomfortably. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. Alistair didn't understand his feelings, he was conflicted… he only ever wanted to be just loved and accepted. Now he wanted more, he wanted her… it seemed to go against his nature to desire someone the way he did Amara.

"Amara you need to be careful," Will warned. "Remember what happened at the tower, you almost died." Both Alistair and Aedan looked sharply at Will. Alistair didn't know what to think, he never heard of a mage dying from running out of power. If that was the case a simple smite would kill a mage.

"What happened?" asked Aedan, concern obvious in his voice. Alistair noticed as Amara reached for Aedan's hand and held it tight to calm him.

"Things are different now Will, I just need to be careful where I do magic at… not how much I do with it." Will looked skeptically at her. "I've… well some things have changed since I left the tower," she said.

"What do you mean changed?" demanded Will. Amara looked at Aedan who nodded.

"Both of you need to promise me you will keep this to yourselves. Alistair, I know you were almost a Templar… I need you to promise me that you won't go to the Chantry over this." Amara asked. "If the Chantry ever found out about this they would hunt me down…"

"I would never go to the Chantry about you Amara," Alistair said adamantly. "I would never do anything to hurt you." Alistair cringed at how fiercely he said that, he noticed Will looking at him, his eyebrow raised.

"You know I'm the last person to turn anyone over to the Chantry Amara," said Will. "Now tell me what is going on."

"Ever since I left the tower my magic is different, it's stronger… I've found things in nature that give me more power. It's hard to explain but things like water in rivers and lake work like lyrium does for you." She noticed the disbelieving look on Will's face. "I know it's hard to believe… but if I'm near things like trees and water, I do not tire when using my magic."

"What happened today then?" Will asked. "Why did you collapse?" Amara tapped her boot on the stone and gravel on the ground.

"No life," she said simply. "I had no way to draw power… I'll need to watch out for that so it doesn't happen again." Will sat back, his expression unreadable as he studied Amara. Alistair noticed her shift uncomfortably on her stool. "I was able to pull lightning from the sky Will… it went beyond any lightning spell used by a Circle mage. I could feel it… it was amazing and completely terrifying at the same time. I killed an ogre… burned a hole right through it," she said in a small voice. Alistair looked at Will… his face mirrored the same shock he felt… no one can just kill an ogre that easy, he thought. While Alistair was still reeling from what she said, he watched Will quickly compose himself.

"That's not everything…" Will stated. Alistair noticed Will looked worried… rarely had he seen Will looked so concerned. Amara shook her head, she looked up at Aedan. He started to pull his gloves off. He held them out for Will to see. Alistair peered over Will's shoulder to see his hands; he had never seen markings like that. "How did this happen?" Will asked in a quiet voice.

"My magic… it marked him," Amara said softly. "I didn't consciously do anything, it just happened."

"These runes… I've never seen anything this complicated before," the amazement evident in Will's voice. "Here let me try something… Aedan, hold out your hands," he said. Aedan did as Will asked, holding his hands out with his palms out. Will started reciting a spell as he held his hand over Aedan's. Alistair could feel the veil start to thin, his Templar training almost a reflex at this point, he had to stop himself from reacting. He watched as Will's spell took shape, Aedan's hands started to glow a soft golden color then the runes themselves started to shimmer and pulse. Above Aedan's hands images of runes started to appear. "Amazing," breathed Will as they watched the images change and shift. The image dissolved and Will sat back in his chair with a mixture of awe and excitement on his face. Aedan withdrew his hands and started to put his gloves back on.

"Will do you know what the runes mean?" asked Amara as she reached over and grasped Aedan's hand. Will got up and started to pace near them, he was muttering under his breath… something Will tended to do when he was thinking.

"Amara I don't know how you did it but those are not just single runes on each hand. There are multiple runes on top of each other!" he exclaimed. "There are protection spells interwoven with strength and stamina and there are some runes that I've have no idea what they do."

"That's just it Will, I did not consciously will them to appear… I tried to stop it. I thought I was hurting him and that I had lost control of my magic," Amara said quietly. Alistair noticed how much this bothered her, her voice was tight. He had an urge to comfort her but could only watch as Aedan wrapped his arm around her giving her the support she needed. He quickly looked down at the ground, hoping the annoyance and yearning he felt were not visible on his face.

"What has happened to you since these runes appeared? I mean have you noticed any changes?" Will asked Aedan, barely able to control his excitement. Aedan looked around the Warden Camp before responding.

"I can show you, but not here. Let us find someplace away from the others," he said. Will jumped to his feet.

"I know a good place then, follow me!" he said as he started to walk out of the camp. Alistair just sat there, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know what those runes did. It was not easy being around them, he couldn't stand all the small displays of affection they shared. The animosity he felt was growing, he wanted it to stop, and he knew in his heart she only saw him as a friend and a warden brother. They were nearly out of the camp when Will turned and called out to him. "Alistair! Come on!"

With a heavy sigh Alistair got to his feet to follow them, "Great…" he muttered under his breath as he followed them out of the camp.

-O-

Will led them to a clearing behind one of the large storage tents on the far side of camp. The tent would provide sufficient coverage from prying eyes. Aedan walked over to the far side of the clearing.

"Alistair, spar with me," Aedan called. Alistair hesitated and looked at Will.

"Why do I think this is going to be a bad idea?" Alistair commented as he drew his sword and pulled his shield up. Will smirked and waved him off.

"You're a Grey Warden, Templar trained… what are you worried about?" Will joked. They watched as Aedan drew his blades that were sheathed on his back. Once the blades were free from their scabbards they erupted into green flames. Alistair lowered his sword and looked at Will in alarm.

"What do I have to be worried about? His swords are all glowy and burning!" Alistair was no coward but at the sight of those burning blades filled him with dread.

"Don't worry Alistair, I will heal you," Amara said with a smile as she took a seat on an old crate behind the tent. Alistair shook his head and glared at Will.

"Notice how she didn't say 'if you get hurt'…" Alistair grumbled as he readied himself for what he was sure was going to end badly.

"Just get out there you big baby," teased Will as he took a seat next to Amara on the crate.

The two men circled each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. This went on for several minutes until Will yelled from his perch on the crate.

"Are you ladies going to dance all night?" complained Will. Alistair turned his head to retort, Aedan saw his distraction and struck. Alistair barely had time to bring his shield up before Aedan's blade collided, leaving a burst of sparks in its wake. The force of the strike knocked Alistair off balance as another blow knocked his sword from his hand, Aedan kicked him on the side of the knee sending him crashing to the ground. Alistair rolled and grabbed his sword in time to parry another blow. Aedan was relentless as he used both swords to constantly bombard Alistair defenses. Alistair was able to bring his shield up and used it to bash Aedan in the side sending him flailing to the right. That gave Alistair enough time to roll away and get on his feet. He is only on his feet a brief moment before Aedan attacks mercilessly, driving Alistair back again. All of Alistair's training kicked in as he brought up his shield and slammed Aedan, knocking him back before bringing down his sword and narrowly missing Aedan as he dived out of the way. It was supposed to be a simple sparring session but it was quickly evolving into a higher stakes game.

Even with his warden stamina, Alistair was tiring, the duel was longer and more intense than he thought it was going to be. There fighting styles were completely different, if they had been similar he felt Aedan would have easily won this match. Alistair's fighting style was very defensive, he could see Aedan having difficulty finding holes to exploit. Alistair was faster than a normal sword and shield warrior, he surmised that was way he had lasted his long against Aedan's assault. He could see the annoyance in the other man's face, Alistair smirked… he thought this was going to be easy. He decided to try some of the skills he learned as a Templar on Aedan, as soon as he released his smite Alistair wished he had never done it. When the smite hit Aedan, instead of stunning him or throwing him back he started to glow green as if the smite had struck a shield. What happened next was terrifying and unexpected… Aedan's eyes started to glow as green as his swords… his face contorted in rage, a rage Alistair had seen before… on the face of a man gone berserk. He started to attack with such ferocity that Alistair couldn't defend himself; the attack brought him to his knees. One blow sent his shield flying across the ground; the second knocked his sword out of his hand. Aedan raised his sword for the killing blow, Alistair felt like time had stopped moving… he braced himself for the blow but it never came. Standing between him and Aedan was Amara; she was holding Aedan's wrists and speaking quickly and softly to him. Alistair scrambled to his feet and backed away from the two. He could barely catch his breath. Will ran up and retrieved his sword and shield for him.

"Probably not a good idea to not do whatever you did to piss him off so bad again," he said as he handed him back his weapons. Alistair bent over panting, it was hard to regulate his breathing after such a shock of adrenalin… he really thought for a moment there he was a dead man.

"I just smite him, Maker…" he shook his head as he took a few deep breaths. "I've never seen anything like that," Alistair said as he stared at the two, Amara had managed to get Aedan to calm down, she did not look pleased as she led Aedan back to where Will and Alistair stood, Aedan held his head low as if he was ashamed. Amara ran up to Alistair and brought her hand to his cheek, it started to glow blue.

"I'm so sorry Alistair, it shouldn't have gone that far," she said her voice full of concern. Alistair noticed her unhappy expression as she glanced over at Aedan. "Aedan needs to learn better control." Alistair felt her magic pulse through his body, warming him as it healed his minor wounds and bruises. It was her he felt… it was as if she was caressing him. His desire for her flared and he was very happy he was wearing armor, it hid how much the gentle caress of her magic was affecting him. "There you should be all better," Amara said as she patted his cheek. Alistair could do nothing but nod.

"So it's obvious now what the runes on his hands are for now," Will said sarcastically. "So he is your protector?" Amara rejoined Aedan and nodded, Alistair couldn't help but notice that she stood farther away from Aedan and did not grab his hand. "Well that probably is why smite had the effect it did…" Will mused.

"Now do you understand why the Chantry can never know? A mage with a champion as powerful as Aedan is… the Seekers would never stop hunting us." She was obviously scared, Alistair knew her words to be true… the Chantry would not rest until she was dead. Will nodded and sat back down on the crate.

"You my dear are the Chantry's worst nightmare… no this stays between us. Who else knows?" he asked. Alistair wondered how Will could stay so calm about all of this…

"Duncan knows everything… Wynne knows my magic is different. Fergus, Aedan's brother knows some as well, we can talk to him, make sure he doesn't tell anyone," Amara said.

"Tell no others, even as a Grey Warden I doubt the Chantry would turn a blind eye." Will ran his hand through his hair. "It's getting late, we need to get some sleep before we head into the Wilds tomorrow… lets head back to camp." Alistair waited and fell in behind Will as they followed Aedan and Amara back into camp. He couldn't help but watch her as she walked away… the touch of her magic had just made things worse for him. He knew he was losing his mind now, her lover almost killed him but moments ago and all he could do was watch the sway of her hips… he knew he was hopeless then, he either had a death wish or he was crazy. When they reached the camp Amara and Aedan bid them good night and went to their tent.

"A word Alistair," said Will before he could turn and leave for his own tent. Alistair sighed and followed Will to the far end of the camp. When they were out of earshot from the other wardens Will stop. He turned around and smacked Alistair on the side of his head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Alistair said while he rubbed the side of his head.

"Oh don't pretend like I don't have eyes… I'd have to be blind, deaf and stupid to not pick up on your feelings for Amara. Unless you want to find yourself skewered by glowing green swords I suggest you rein it in," Will said as he glared at Alistair. "The last thing we need is internal fighting in the Warden's over a woman."

"That's not my intention…" Alistair said, he looked away… he couldn't meet Will's eyes. "I don't know what I'm doing… she's so beautiful… kind and funny…" He gave Will a tortured look, "… she is everything I've ever wanted." Will rolled his eyes at him.

"Do you think you are the first to fall for Amara? Try living in a tower with her for years… I think every Templar there would have let her walk through the door for a kiss… she has something about her that you find yourself drawn to am I correct?" Alistair nodded, "well do your best to ignore it… she has chosen a lover and it's not you." Will's harsh words seemed to have little impact on what he was feeling. Will gave him a pointed glare and shook his head. "Right… well don't say I didn't warn you. If I noticed it you better bet Aedan noticed it… like I said… skewered," Will said as he shook his head again.

"I'm not stupid Will… I know I don't have a shot… it's just I've never met anyone like her. I can't help what I'm feeling," he said desperately.

"Just… well don't do anything stupid, especially not in front of Aedan. He doesn't seem to have much control over those runes… we saw that tonight. I like you Alistair… I don't want to see you dead… nor do I want to see Amara upset when she tries to fix you after Aedan is done with you." Will gave him an imposing look. "Are we clear?"

"Yes… we're clear," Alistair said with a sigh. "I need to sleep before the Wilds." Alistair left Will and headed for his tent. He passed near Aedan and Amara's tent, he paused for a moment when he heard what sounded like arguing coming from inside.

"… he's my friend. I don't care what you thought you saw in his eyes… Aedan this is ridiculous!" Alistair quickly started towards his tent, he did not want to be accused of eavesdropping, but what little he did hear made him concerned. Aedan knows… Will's words ran through his head again. No he did not want to end up on the wrong side of Aedan's blades but a small part of him was glad… Aedan saw him as a threat… enough to bring it up to Amara. Maybe… just maybe there was some hope. When he reached his tent he sighed in relief and quickly removed his armor. Perhaps Will was right, he should rein it in… let things calm down. He had to get both of them through the Wilds tomorrow… he didn't need the extra worry of Aedan running him through… there were plenty of darkspawn in the Wilds to worry about. He laid back on his bed roll and closed his eyes to images of Amara, a smile ghosted across his lips when he remembered the kiss she gave him. He could still at least have this he told himself… Alistair drifted off to sleep wondering what it would feel like if those soft lips were pressed against his.


	13. Chapter 13 Keys to a forgotten past

**Authors Note:** I did not like how they changed the physical appearance of Flemeth between Dragon Age I and Dragon Age II so I took some liberties. Things are going to be a bit hectic for Amara and Aedan for a while… I couldn't make it that easy Please review and thanks for reading!

-O-

**Chapter 13 – Keys to a forgotten past**

**Amara**

The last darkspawn fight ended rather quickly, there had been several since they left Ostagar this morning. While she was not tired the men were so they decide to rest for a bit off the road near one of the Wilds many streams. Aedan was trying his best to avoid her, they had spoken barely a handful of words since this trip had started. She was still angry at him, Amara thought it would stop after she slept for the night but it didn't. She sighed and took a seat on an old fallen log away from the others. Their argument did not end well last night… she had asked him to leave. A part of her was surprised when he did, he grabbed his things and left without another word. She was so angry then, his words were so hurtful and petty… she did not know what she had done to earn his mistrust. It didn't matter now… not really… after the last run-in with the darkspawn she knew what was really important… she and Aedan would have to wait. Even after making her silent resolve her mind wandered back to the fight…

"_**I want you to stay away from Alistair," Aedan said, his voice angry. She sat her cloak to the side and looked up at him.**_

"_**Why would you ask that of me? What is wrong with you? You nearly killed him tonight… now this?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm. Ever since she told him of her collapse and Alistair helping her, he had not been himself… he seemed more quiet and easily angered. Aedan paced around the small tent, his anger radiated off of him.**_

"_**I've seen the way his eyes follow you… he's always at your side when I am not. I've seen it in his eyes Amara… he wants you," Aedan said harshly. Amara couldn't believe her ears… he thinks her and Alistair… is he mad? She didn't even know how to respond to that.**_

"_**Alistair is my friend. I don't care what you thought you saw in his eyes… Aedan this is ridiculous! Do you hear yourself?" she hissed. She tried to keep her voice down, she had heard people walking around outside and did not want to draw their attention.**_

"_**A friend… like that Templar of yours… Cullen was his name?" Aedan said, his voice was bitter. Amara stood up, she felt herself flush with anger.**_

"_**Leave Cullen out of this… he has done nothing wrong either! All he has ever been is my…" Aedan cut her off.**_

"_**Friend… yeah I get it, and what I nearly walked in on before we left the Tower… was that just friendly conversation?" he sneered.**_

"_**We kissed, so what! You and I were not together then. You think just because I'm around Alistair I'm going to want him over you? You think my heart is that fickle?" It wasn't just his words that hurt her, it was the idea that he could even think she would want another… she felt betrayed by his jealousy.**_

"_**I don't know Amara, we've know each other for barely over a week… Maybe next week I will be just a friend like Cullen…" And with that she slapped him. She had never raised her hand to anyone before, her palm stung from the force of her slap and the coarse stubble on his cheek.**_

"_**Get out," she said, her voice was a dead calm even though her knees felt weak. The look in his eyes was full of shock and regret, she stood there, her face a mask of stone as she glared at him; he grabbed his things. For a moment at the tent door he paused as if he was going to turn and say something… but he left without another word. Amara sat down, her legs didn't give her much choice. She didn't cry… she was still too angry for that. She ran through what just happened… the jealousy, the insinuations… her mind fell back on earlier concerns about the magic. More than ever she felt that it had manipulated both their feelings for if he truly loved her… how could he even think such things? Her life had been a whirlwind the past week, she needed to take control of it… become the best Warden she could be. This was the life free of the tower she always wanted… she wasn't going to waste it. First thing tomorrow she would ask Will if there was a way to remove the runes… she wanted control back. If she chose to mark a Champion it would be her choice… not the magic. She never wanted to feel this uncertainty and pain ever again.**_

"So… are you going to tell me what happened that had Aedan carrying all of his belongings to his brother's tent after we got back to camp last night?" Will asked as he took a seat on the old fallen log next to Amara.

"Nothing to worry your pretty little head about," she said with a smile that did not meet her eyes. "I'm a big girl remember?"

"You're not fooling me you know… but if you don't want to talk about it, you don't want to talk about it," Will said as he started to stand up.

"There is one thing I do need your help with," she said grabbing his wrist and pulling him back down.

"Oh I can definitely help with that," he said wagging his eyebrows. "But I don't think it will help with your problems with Aedan." She grinned and rolled her eyes but then her face returned to the somber expression she had been wearing all day.

"I need you help with removing the runes," she said quietly, her voice low enough to ensure the others did not hear. Will sat up straight, the humor drained from his eyes.

"Why would you want to do that? It was just a fight… couples fight all of the time, you should see it when Lena and I disagree." Amara shook her head.

"It's not that we fought… I think the runes are making me feel things… manipulating my emotions and his." She saw Will's doubtful expression and sighed. "I met Aedan ten days ago, in that time I have marked him with runes that enables him to use my magic, gave myself to him and told him I loved him… does that sound like something I would normally do?" she whispered. "You've known me the longest… tell me if I'm worrying for nothing." Will looked at her for a moment then shook his head.

"No… no you are right. Considering how much you liked Cullen and he liked you…. No, you would not have given yourself to another after such short a time. I'll think about ways to remove the runes… I know a few spells… they might work. When we get back to camp ok?" Amara nodded.

"Hey Will?" Alistair called from the other side of the road. "We should go… we still need to look for those treaties…" Will nodded at Alistair and stood. He pulled Amara up from her seat on a fallen log.

"Come on, let's get this done so I can get back to camp and start looking through my notes."

-O-

"Well, well what have we here?" a feminine voice said. "Are you vultures, I wonder… scavengers picking at a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned? Or merely intruders come into these darkspawn filled Wilds of mine in search of easy prey…" Amara hurried around the large broken stone blocks towards the sound of the voice. They had split up to cover more area… she now wished they wouldn't have.

"What say you hrmm? Scavengers or intruders?" When Amara rounded the large stone pillar she saw Aedan and Daveth standing there with the source of the voice, their weapons were drawn. It was a woman about her age, her jet black hair was pulled up in a tight bun. She was dress rather scandalously, her wrap barely covered her chest. Amara noticed the staff on her back… an apostate.

"Wait…" she called as she ran up to stand near the men. The apostate smiled, her gold flecked eyes reminding Amara of a wolf.

"Ahh another intruder… and a fellow mage. Tell me why you are here?" she asked as she sauntered past the two men to stand in front of Amara. Her golden eyes studied her, Amara did not back away or flinch when the woman circled her. The apostate stopped in front of her and looked at her… she saw the woman's eyes flicker to the necklace she wore around her neck… her mother's necklace. The apostate's eyes widened in shock and she stepped back away from Amara.

"You!" she exclaimed. "I did not believe Mother when she said it… I thought it was another of her ramblings but here you are." Amara had no idea who this woman was… but she seemed to know her or at least her mother judging by her reaction to the necklace. She felt Aedan's eyes on her but refused to acknowledge him… she did not want to see more judgment in his eyes.

"Yes…. Here I am. Who are you?" asked Amara, she kept her voice from betraying the excitement she felt over the fact this woman recognized her necklace. No one in the Circle could tell her anything about it… Irving had even tried contacts in the Starkhaven and Kirkwall Circles and they didn't know either.

"I am Morrigan," the woman waited for a reaction from Amara but there was none. "Twas a long time ago, we were children… memories are fleeting are they not?" Morrigan seemed disappointed that she did not remember her. For a brief moment she thought of mentioning that she no memories of her childhood but thought it better to not offer to much information to this stranger. "I will take you to Mother."

"Wait… we are here to find some Grey Warden treaties. Do you know anything about them?" she asked. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jory, Will and Alistair approaching. Morrigan looked at them and narrowed her eyes.

"More friends? And such a variety… you were always picking up strays as a child Amara."

"I - I never told you my name… how do you know me?" she stammered. Morrigan laughed and gave her a sad look.

"You really have no memories do you? Tis troubling… none the less, Mother will want to see you. Come, bring your strays… If your treaties were in these ruins… Mother would know about them."

"Why should we follow her? She's an apostate… a powerful one at that. Amara use your head… she could be leading us into a trap," Will said as he glared at Morrigan who just returned his glare with a smirk. The others looked as unsure, she met Aedan's eyes… they were full of worry. He shook his head, his eyes begging her to decline. Amara stared at her companions… they were being silly, she was just one woman… a women that had information she needed.

"We need those treaties… I'm going. You can wait here if you like," she said defiantly. There was no way she was letting a person who knew anything about her mother get away because of their fears.

"You are not going alone," said Aedan with finality. "We will not separate." Amara crossed her arms, her patience was thinning. If this woman knew her… knew of her childhood, it was worth every risk to find out more.

"Look either we all go or none of us go," said Alistair. Will looked at Amara then at the other men and sighed. Will knew her best and he knew she was not going to budge.

"Let's go," he said. Aedan opened his mouth to protest and Will shook his head. "Look, she's going with or without us… Let's just go," he said as he started to walk towards the women.

"That's it? Decision is made?" an astonished Alistair asked. "She could lead us into a whole camp of Chasind?" Will grabbed Alistair's arm and pulled him away from the others.

"Amara is going whether we like it or not. We stand a better chance together. Keep your wits about you Alistair and be ready to smite," he said, his voice was barely above a whisper. Alistair gave him a grim look and nodded.

"Alright… Morrigan was it? Lead on then," Will said giving the apostate one of his most charming smile. Morrigan snorted and laughed as she turned to lead them deeper into the Wilds.

-O-

The trees started to thin and they found themselves in a small clearing. A modest stone house sat on the far side of area the under a tall oak tree next to a stream. If Amara had to pick a word to describe it, cozy would be the first one on her list. The only thing that disturbed her was how quiet this place was, she could not hear the trees or the stream… it was eerie, putting her on edge. Amara did not see anyone around, but there was smoke coming from the chimney of the house, someone had to be inside.

"Mother, we have guests," Morrigan called when they reached the house. A woman in her late forties opened the door. Her hair was as white as snow, she wore it in a thick long braid that hung down her back. It was easy to tell that she was a great beauty in her youth, that beauty still lingered in her lined face. The most striking thing about the woman was her eyes, they were a pale yellow.

"Well, well, well… you bring me curious gifts daughter. Such a collection…" said the woman as she walked up to them. "The King… the Princess… and the Champion… so many archetypes… it isn't everyday a prophecy lands on your doorstep and with so many of its players," the woman laughed. Amara felt fear knot in her belly when the woman's eyes met hers. "Amara Amell… all grown up and flowered… or should I say de-flowered," she cackled a laugh as her piercing eyes focused on Aedan. "They finally let you out of the Tower I see… that's good… one less thing that I will have to do," the woman said, her voice full of humor. "You do not remember me, I see the curiosity in your eyes… Would you like to remember? It is within my power to grant you that. It will be painful… yes… but it will be one more puzzle piece for you to snap into place."

"Yes, more than anything," Amara breathed… her eyes transfixed on the older woman.

"Amara no!" yelled Aedan. Amara heard him but he sounded so far away, she was too focused on Morrigan's mother to care. The woman approached her and placed a finger on her forehead, the blinding pain that Amara felt caused her to double over clutching her head. She felt a scream leave her lips as her knees buckled and she collapsed onto the ground. Images started to flood her head like a river that burst through a dam. They were hazy at first but soon burst forth in vivid colors… her life before the Tower played out in her mind. All of the emotions associated with those images hit her like punch to the stomach. Images of her mother tore through her mind, she was beautiful, with long dark brown hair and kind blue eyes. She remembered it all, the many visits with Flemeth and her daughter Morrigan. The games she and Morrigan use to play… the cool summer nights they use to sit up and watch the stars until their mothers would scold them. Those were the good memories… but they were soon followed by ones that were guaranteed to give her nightmares even now.

The memories of the night her mother died took over and the barriers that had held these memories burst open and all of the pain and fear rushed in. Her mother's voice screaming for her to run as the monsters came… but they were not unknown monsters… they were darkspawn. The darkspawn had surrounded her mother… the leader, it looked like an emissary but different, it had an elaborate head dress threaded with gold and a gold visor over its eyes, its face was deformed. Its skin was grey and pasty, less splotchy and decayed than a normal darkspawn. It was a frightening sight to behold but what scared her more was its voice… the creature talked. The voice was cold and raspy, she was too far away to make out the words from where she was hiding in a pile of hay near the barn. Amara watched helplessly as the talking darkspawn used magic on her mother… freezing her in place as one of the other darkspawn cut her throat. It was then that Amara's powers burst to life… the night she burned the monsters. The memory started to fade and the sounds of her surrounds broke into her clouded mind.

"What did you do to her?" Aedan yelled. The sound of footsteps abruptly stopped.

"All of you back! I told her there would be pain, nothing without a price. Stand back or there will be more than pain awaiting you," the older woman said, her voice was sinister and commanding. Amara recognized her now… her voice bringing back many memories.

"Flemeth… your name is Flemeth," Amara said quietly. The pain was mostly gone from head, she slowly stood up on her wobbly legs and wiped her tears away. She felt her magic flare and a comforting blue glow took away the rest of the pain.

"Very good! Welcome back dear… I knew you would return one day but I did not expect such an entourage… why are you here child?"

"We came for the Grey Warden treaties that were in the ruin," she said as she glanced at her companions, they all wore looks of confusion, all except Jory… he looked positively terrified. They knew who Flemeth was or at least heard the stories, Amara did not even know how to begin to explain her past with the famed Witch of the Wilds to them.

"Ah those treaties… I kept them safe. Funny that an old woman valued them more than their owners…" her eyes narrowed as she looked at Will and Alistair. "Morrigan, the small brown box on the top shelf of the cabinet please," she ordered her daughter. Morrigan sighed and went into the house to retrieve the documents. Flemeth glanced over at her companions again, her pale yellow eyes studying them before turning back to Amara.

"The Circle did you more harm than good girl… you are going to need to master your magic in a short period of time. It is weak as a newborn babe… making you vulnerable," Flemeth chastised.

"I don't understand… it is more powerful than it has ever been… my healing is better than it has ever been. I killed an ogre with a lightning… I can kill scores of darkspawn…" Flemeth raised her hand.

"Childs play girl…" she said dismissively. "Your bonds are weak," Flemeth said and with a flick of her wrist Aedan collapsed in pain. Amara tried to run to him but Flemeth grabbed her wrist with a powerful grip. "He is fine… but if I could break the bond to your champion so easily do not think you have any hope against something more powerful… like an Archdemon." Will helped Aedan back to his feet, he was staring at his now rune less palms with despair. Flemeth smirked at Aedan's anguish and turned her attention back to Amara.

"Master your magic child… if you do not there will be no hope regardless of the number of Wardens you find. This Archdemon is the god Urthemiel, his beauty was unparalleled but his true power resided in his mind… not his body. Ruthless and cunning, far more dangerous than the others. Just one taste and he will find you… he will try to take you," she paused and looked directly at Aedan. "And you must not allow that to happen." Flemeth's pale yellow eyes met hers again, "Beware of the Fade for he will be there… searching. Do not think your golden King or Grey Commander can fight him… He is already several steps ahead of you," she said in a low voice. The door of the cottage opened and a frustrated Morrigan appeared.

"It was not in the cabinet Mother!" she shoved the box into her mother's hands. "You are getting senile," she sneered. Flemeth waved her off and laughed. She released Amara's wrist and handed her the box with the treaties.

"Oh my mind is clear girl, make no mistake… I just did not require your presence for a while," she said. "Please escort our guests back to Ostagar, it is time for them to return… events are in motion, we wouldn't want them to miss the fun." Flemeth walked back to the cottage and opened the door. "Good bye Amara Amell… our paths will cross again soon," she said as she shut the door.

-O-

No one spoke on the way back to Ostagar, everyone including Will seemed to be avoiding her. Aedan refused her help after Flemeth severed their bond, he wouldn't even look at her. Daveth and Jory were terrified of her and Alistair kept his distance. She didn't blame them really, she was now affiliated with Flemeth, the Witch of the Wilds. Everyone has heard at least one tale about Flemeth and none of them were good. All she wanted to do at this point was get back to Ostagar, hide in her tent and sleep. Once they had reached the main path back to Ostagar, Morrigan bid them farewell and disappeared back into the Wilds. Amara was disappointed that she didn't get to talk to her childhood friend more, the mood was very somber on the way back and she just did not feel like talking. Flemeth did say their paths would cross again soon, maybe then she would have time to reconnect with her childhood friend.

The makeshift gates to the ruins of Ostagar were straight ahead. Amara picked up the pace, leaving the others behind. A quick nod to the guard and she was inside and on her way to the Warden Camp. She found Duncan shortly after entering the camp and handed him the treaties. She asked to be excused of any duties for the remainder of the evening stating she was ill. He granted it, as he started to go through the scrolls inside. She had just turned to leave when Duncan called after her.

"Amara, you forgot your book…" he said as he walked towards her, his hand outstretched with a small leather bound book in it. "You left it in the box." She apologized and retreated to her tent, holding the book tightly to her chest. She opened the book and several folded pages tumbled out onto the floor. They looked as if they had been torn from other books and placed in this one in haste. She picked up the folded pages and noticed a slip of paper smaller than the others with her name on it. She quickly unfolded it and began to read.

_**Amara,**_

_**We will not be able to talk for some time, Mother will not permit it. I have to warn you before it is too late. You are in great danger, the book will explain why. A prophecy is unfolding and you are in the middle of it. The loose pages are of runes, learn them for your champion. **_

_**Please try to stay safe,**_

_**Your friend,**_

_**Morrigan**_

Amara unfolded the loose pages, they were as Morrigan said, several different rune designs with descriptions of their uses. She laid them out on the floor and sat down with the book in her lap. She opened it to the title page, The Green Dales Prophecy and began to read… she did not stop until the sun's rays illuminated the eastern horizon.

-O-


	14. Chapter 14 To forgive a fool

**Authors Note:** A lot of rewrites with this one… Things will be ramping up next chapter but I had to get this emotional stuff in there. Albuquerque is ahead and I'll be making sharp left A bit of a spoiler… my Archdemon is a tad bit more complex than the one in the game. I always thought they could have done more with a corrupted god than they did. Please read and review as always, I really like the feedback.

-O-

**Chapter 14 – To forgive a fool…**

**Aedan**

Aedan woke up to the sound of a chair being dragged across stone. He rolled over and pulled his blankets up to cover his eyes, hiding them from the offending light emanating from the small lantern on the makeshift desk.

"Why are you here… again?" asked his brother. The sound of shuffling parchment and the faint smell of cinnamon could only mean that it was predawn and Fergus was starting his morning routine.

"What time is it?" he mumbled from under his blanket. Aedan's head started to pound now that he was waking up… the small noises Fergus was making only amplified the headache.

"Early… so are going to answer the question? Why are you sleeping on the floor of my tent again?" Fergus asked as he grabbed his quill and started to write on one of the many parchments littering his desk.

"I didn't want to ask the Warden Commander for a tent…" He wished his brother would stop talking.

"And why would you need to do that brother? What happened to the one you shared with Miss. Amell?" Fergus asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Aedan said as he rolled over in huff. It was too early and his head hurt too much to get into this now.

"I don't recall asking you if you wanted to, I asked you what happened. Now we can do this the easy way… where you join me for some tea and tell me what is wrong. Or, I can send a guard to retrieve the fair Amara and she can tell me what happened… your choice."

"You sound just like father… that is something he would say…" Aedan groaned. "Why do you care? This is really none of your business."

"Oh? I beg to differ… you made it my business when you decided to occupy my tent. One night I can understand… arguments happen but a second night and after spending the evening drinking oneself into a stumper… then it becomes a serious problem."

"You are not going to let this go are you?" Aedan said with a heavy sigh.

"Have you ever known me to?" asked Fergus, without looking at him… he knew his brother was smirking. With an exasperated sigh, Aedan flung the blankets off and sat up. The pain in his head peaked and he felt a wave of nausea sweep through him. "There's a bucket to your left…" his brother said. Aedan grabbed it just in time before the contents of his stomach poured out onto the floor. "Still can't hold your drink I see… honestly I don't know why you even bother." He heard Fergus get up and rummage through one of his trunks. "I've seen Chantry sisters handle their drink better than you brother."

"Are you going to stop talking?" Aedan asked miserably.

"No. Here, drink this…" he handed Aedan a small vial. "You are going to owe me for this… I'm running low on these potions and the mage that makes them has been sent out on patrol." Aedan snatched the vial from his brother's hand and quickly drank down the potion, the effects were almost immediate. "Better?" Aedan nodded. "Good, grab a chair… you have some explaining to do." Fergus when back to his chair and poured another cup of tea for his brother. Aedan stood up and pulled a chair from the far side of the tent up to the desk. This was a conversation he did not want to participate in but he knew Fergus wouldn't let it go… best to just get it over with. "So… what happened?"

"We fought… she told me to get out so I left," Aedan said, not meeting his brothers eyes.

"Uh huh… and? I've not the patience to pry this from you Aedan…"

"Alright damn it, I was jealous ok? I told her to stay away from Alistair," Aedan said harshly.

"Why for the love of the Maker would you be jealous? You are the envy of every man in camp for Maker's sake… it was obvious to everyone how much she was in love with you," chastised Fergus. "What exactly did you say to her?" Aedan groaned and put his head in his hands.

"I was upset… I had heard she collapsed healing and Alistair carried her to the healers. It should have been me Fergus, I should have been the one helping her not him," Aedan seethed. Fergus shook his head.

"Do you hear yourself? You sound like a jealous idiot even now… I can only imagine how bad it was the night of the fight." Aedan glared at his brother.

"You don't see how he looks at her…" Fergus waved him off.

"He looks at her like every damn man in this camp does… what exactly did you say to her before she asked you to leave?"

"I… brought up the Templar at the Tower, the one that was obviously in love with her. She insisted they were just friends and that she and Alistair are just friends. I asked her if next week we'd be just friends… then she slapped me," Aedan looked down at his hands feeling ashamed. When he repeated what he said and actually listened to how it sounded he realized what a fool he was.

"I have to wonder after hearing that if we are even related. Why don't you just put a bow on her and deliver her to Alistair's tent? How could you be so stupid?" Fergus shook his head. "You basically called her a whore… brilliant."

"I didn't mean it... she was a maiden… Oh Maker!" Aedan covered his face with his hands. "It doesn't matter now… the bond between us was broken," he held up his hands for Fergus to see. "Even if I went to her… even if I apologized for being a fool… there is nothing to hold us together now," he said, his voice full of grief. "I'm sure she doesn't want me and after yesterday I feel like I don't even know who she is."

"What happened yesterday? What happen to those runes that were burned into your hands?" Fergus questioned, his voice had an edge to it… Aedan couldn't decide if it was anger or worry.

"When we were in the Wilds we met an apostate… Amara insisted on following her. She took us to her mother, the woman… her mother was Flemeth." He saw the doubt in his brother's eyes. "It is true… I didn't want to believe it either. Flemeth knew who Amara was Fergus… the Witch of the Wilds knew her. She did something to Amara… the Witch said it was to give her back memories from before she was in the Circle. It hurt her… I didn't stop it… I couldn't," said Aedan, his voice full of distress as he remembered watching helplessly as Amara collapsed. "Then the Witch severed the bond… she said it was weak and it wouldn't protect her. It was horrible Fergus, like she tore out a piece of my heart. I still feel it… like there is a hole inside of me." Aedan absently rubbed his chest as if he was trying to ease the emptiness. "I made it worse after that, Amara tried to help me and I wouldn't let her… the look of pain in her eyes... I don't even know where to begin brother… I have said some horrible, stupid thing to her, I have broken this beyond repair. I've lost her…"

"Just stop… I'm not going to listen to you wallow in your self-pity. She is alive… so you can fix this," Fergus said sharply. "A woman like her comes along only once in your lifetime… once she's gone you will not get another chance." Aedan was taken aback by his brother's tone but when he thought about what he said he felt ashamed… Fergus was talking about Oriana. He looked at his brother and saw all of the pain and loss from Oriana's death haunt his face.

"Fergus…"

"Don't…" Fergus said quietly. "Look Aedan, you have a choice and you are pissing it away. No one knows the future, the Wardens are convinced this is a Blight and I think they are right… instead of spending every moment with the woman you claim to love you are doing your damnedest to push her away. What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid…" Fergus gave her a pointed look. "I just… I lose myself when I am with her. Everything happened so quickly, it was so intense with the bond… the thought of another man spending time with her, touching her… it sent me into a blind rage. I almost killed Alistair that night in a duel… if she hadn't stopped me I would have. I think Amara was right… the bond was manipulating our emotions. Now that it's gone so is the rage… all I feel is regret."

"What about your feelings for her? Do you still love her?"

"Maker yes… I had fallen in love with her before the bond ever happened," Aedan said as he ran his fingers through his hair. "What do I do?"

"Well, for starters getting out of my tent should be a priority. Go find her and talk to her. Apologize… tell her how much of an idiot you are… shouldn't take much convincing. Tell her how much you love her."

"And if she says doesn't love me? The bond is broken… what if her feelings were not as strong?" Aedan asked. That was what he dreaded the most, it had been eating away at him since the bond was severed.

"I highly doubt that but if it does happen ask her to start over… court her, win her hand. She's worth fighting for… you know this." Fergus pointed to the tents entrance. "Now go… before you screw this up more."

-O-

The sun had risen by the time Aedan finished talking to his brother. The camp was bustling with activity as people were waking up and cooking breakfast. Aedan quickly dodged and avoided people as he rushed to the Warden's camp and to the tent he and Amara had shared.

"Amara? Are you awake?" he said outside the tent entrance. He heard no response, not even the sound of someone moving around within. Aedan tentatively pulled back the tent flap and hoped she wouldn't be too angry with him for entering. He found the tent empty except for her pack and bedroll, she had left a book sitting open on the blanket and pieces of paper littered the top of the blanket and the ground nearby. He knelt down and looked at some of the papers, on everyone he saw there were drawings of different runes. His eyes drifted to a smaller piece of paper with her name on it, against his better judgment he read the note, it was from the apostate they had met in the Wilds.

"Damn it," he muttered under his breath. He dropped the note and spun around, he had to find Amara… he had to try and fix this and find out what this note meant. He whipped back the tent flap and stepped outside.

"There you are! I've been looking for you for the past half an hour," Will said, as he approached. "Come… it is time for the Joining. Aedan cursed… why now? He asked himself.

"Where is Amara? I need to speak with her," he demanded. Will shook his head.

"The ritual is about to begin, she is already there. Once you get there they will start…"

"Please! I have to talk to her… I need to talk to her," he pleaded. Will gave him a sad look and quickly turned away. Aedan narrowed his eyes, there was something odd about Will's behavior that bothered him.

"Yeah… If you have something to tell her, you best do it now… wait behind the main pavilion, I will go get her." Will quickly left to retrieve Amara leaving Aedan behind with an eerie sense of foreboding at his words. Aedan quickly arrived at the meeting area, he paced back and forth waiting for her to arrive. It seemed like hours but it was only a few minutes before she hesitantly walked around the side of the pavilion, Aedan was shocked by her appearance. Her hair hung loose and was tangled, her eyes were heavily shadowed, as if it had been days since she slept. Guilt swept through him, he knew he was responsible for part, if not all of this. Amara refused to meet his eyes, she folded her arms around herself. Aedan walked up to her slowly, she looked vulnerable but defensive at the same time, like a hurt animal that was backed into a corner.

"We really have no time for this Aedan, they are waiting for us…" she said curtly. He could see the hurt and anger still lingering in her eyes. Aedan found himself lost for words for a moment under her reproachful gaze. He cleared his throat and shook his head before taking a final step towards her.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry … for everything," he said. He had hoped that saying those words would help but she seemed to sink deeper into despair once she heard them. He caught a glimpse of her eyes before she turned away, he could see the unshed tears and the pain.

"You don't have to apologize… now that the bond is gone… it won't be making you feel things for me," she said softly as she turned to leave. Aedan could not believe that she thought he only loved her because of the bond… he stood there astonished and dismayed. He though they were past this… She was walking away, panic finally spurred him to action.

"Amara wait… please," he reached out and grasped her hand. She just stood there staring at their joined hands.

"Aedan…"

"No damn it, listen! I don't care about the Maker forsaken bond. We need to talk... Please, the Joining can wait." He watched as she reluctantly nodded her head. He led her over to a section of ruins where they could sit on the toppled stone pillars. Even as she sat he didn't let go of her hand, she looked down at their hands several times. "What I said to you the other night was reprehensible… You didn't deserve to be spoken to like that… can you ever forgive me?" Amara looked at him, the pain shining through her eyes.

"You want my forgiveness? Again..." she asked in a quiet voice. Aedan looked away ashamed, he remembered promising a week earlier that he wouldn't hurt her, and here he was again asking her to forgive him.

"Yes… I know I have no right to ask it of you. I love you Amara that has not changed."

"But the runes… the bond…" she shook her head as if she couldn't believe what he was saying. "I thought that now that the bond was broken that… there was no reason for you to say that."

"I don't love you any less now that the Witch broke the bond Amara…" he lifted her chin with his finger so he could look into her eyes. "I fell in love with you before the bond ever happened… I told you that after our first night together… why is that so hard for you to believe? Will you believe me now? There is no bond… I know what my heart feels." He hoped that this time she would truly believe him, there was no bond to influence him now. She looked away for a moment and when she looked back he saw anger in her eyes.

"How could you say those things to me? How could you think that I wanted Alistair? I gave myself to you…" She pulled her hand away from his and looked away. Aedan felt like she had slapped him again.

"I am a fool… You were right, the bond was manipulating my emotions." Amara looked at him sharply. "It took every insecurity I had and amplified it. When I had heard Alistair was there for you it drove me to madness… I couldn't think straight, I was just so angry. My words were stupid and cruel… I know you are not like that… I let my anger and fear take over, I guess deep down I don't feel like I deserve someone like you," he reached over and cupped her cheek with his hand, her eyes had filled with tears. "I can't stand this distance between us…. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I know I broke a promise to you and I don't deserve your forgiveness… I am such a fool. Just know that I love you and I always will… " With a cry Amara threw her arms around Aedan, she buried her face into the nape of his neck. Aedan could feel the wetness of her tears on his skin… Amara's fingers twisted and gripped his shirt as she held on to him. He gently wrapped his arms around her pulling her tight.

"I thought I had lost you… that you didn't want me" she said, her voice barely loud enough for him to hear.

"I am so sorry I hurt you," he murmured into her ear. "I am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you." He pulled back slightly, bringing his hands up to hold her face. Just seeing her in distress made him feel like someone was twisting a knife into his heart. He used his thumb to wipe away some of the tears that flowed down her cheeks. When her eyes met his… he could still see some fear and pain there still but it was quickly being surpassed by hope and longing. Aedan gently pulled her face to his until his lips softly brushed against hers. For an instant he hesitated as he felt Amara's fingers weave through his hair and tighten. She surprised him when her lips captured his in a desperate kiss. It was not one of the gentle kisses he was use to from Amara, this was hard, aggressive and full of need. Aedan felt a groan escape his lips as she started pulled away, that was one kiss he never wanted to end, he found it hard to breathe as he tried to gather himself. Amara sat back and just watched him for a moment studying his face before she reached a hand up to gently caress the side of his face, a faint smile ghosted across her lips before she leaned forward and rested her head on his chest as she wrapped her arms around him.

"We are in this together?" she asked, as if needing reassurance after everything that had happened. Aedan knew everything wasn't mended but for the first time since she told him to leave, he felt he could fix it.

"Always…" he said, his voice heavy with emotion. Amara sighed and nuzzled her face into his neck. Aedan absently stroke her hair, he had missed this, more than he wanted to admit. Just being so close to her made that emptiness in his heart seem less overwhelming.

"I love you Aedan…" she said after a few minutes. "And I guess we both have insecurities we will need to work on… "Aedan knew what she meant, it seemed both of them didn't feel worthy of the other. "We need to go… " Amara said with a sigh, she sat up and started stand when Aedan pulled her back. She looked at him in confusion, "Aedan?"

"When I was searching for you earlier… before Will found me... I looked in the tent and noticed the book and papers on the ground." He waited hoping she would open up to him, tell him what it all meant. Her lips tightened into a slight frown before she sighed and looked down at her hands.

"The book is a prophecy… the ramblings of an insane Templar from three centuries ago. Morrigan hid the book and the papers you saw in the box carrying the Warden treaties. I spent all night reading the book and going over the runes. The book is cryptic, the insane ramblings of a broken mind… It is full of riddles using archetypes, Morrigan said the prophecy involves me, after reading it I have no idea how." She gave him a sad look, "I tried to figure out the runes, but I didn't make any progress on that either… I'm hoping Will can help me after this ritual."

"And you are in danger because of this prophecy?" he asked. If she was cross with him over reading her note she didn't show it. She merely shrugged.

"We are on the verge of a Blight, I am in no more danger than anyone else… probably less because of my magic. I'm not going to worry about it now, I'm more afraid of Duncan's wrath of we don't attend the Joining."

"We'll figure it out…" he tried to assure her. "You will make the bonds stronger so someone like the Witch cannot break them with a flick of her wrist," he said, a bit of anger found its way into his voice. He felt so helpless when Flemeth severed the bond… he never wanted to feel that way again. He stood up and pulled Amara along with him. "Let's get this ritual out of the way and then we can work on it. I don't like being without the runes… I feel like I can't protect you." He leaned down to give her a quick kiss, Amara had other ideas. She turned what would have been a brief kiss into one full of passion that left Aedan aching for more. "You keep kissing me like that, we are never going to get to the ritual…" he said with a grin. She smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss, she then leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"You said you'd spend the rest of your life making it up to me… you can start tonight." Her hot breath on his ear sent shivers down his spine. Amara laughed his reaction and his shocked expression. She grabbed his arm and started to pull him towards the path. "Come on, before they send Will back for us," she said as she tugged on his arm. "Let's get this over with."

-O-


	15. Chapter 15 The Joining

**Authors Note:** Things start to get dark for a while… here's my take on the Joining. Please read and review!

-O-

**Chapter 14 – The Joining**

_With a drink of death from those cast forth,_

_One shall awaken, a mighty power:_

_The ground shall tremble, the wind shall sing,_

_A sign will be seen, Lights pillar beheld by all:_

_The Beast, the Bane, will seek the Light,_

_Blood will flow in the Barbarian Fortress:_

_The Hero, the Fool, the Griffon are lost,_

_The General rises as the armies fall:_

_They shall be scattered to the winds,_

_Hunted even beyond the Veil:_

_The Light, the Bride, will be tempted,_

_A shadow of corruption will be spread:_

_The Green Dales Prophecy, Rev 3 (12 – 18)_

**Will**

He cringed as Duncan sent him another withering look. Will new he was in trouble, no one escaped that 'look' unscathed. He was about to go find them when Aedan and Amara walked up the path past the wardens stationed by the entrance. Their hands were joined, an improvement from the day before. He saw how hurt both of them had been, he could not get either of them to open up about what had happened but he was glad that they seemed better. If they were not able to speak, to work out some of the problems… there would have been so many painful regrets if things do not go well today.

Not all of the Wardens were here, Duncan did not make it mandatory. Alistair was here and so was Riordan, the rest were men that he was less familiar with, wardens from Jader that had come to help with the Blight. He had hoped Lena would come but she opted for a patrol, Joining's were painful for her still, she had not gotten over the loss of her childhood friend Tamlen during their Joining. That was why it was so important to not leave business unfinished before the ritual. Lena didn't talk about it often but he knew it still ate away at her.

Duncan waved everyone over near where he and Riordan stood. There was a stone table behind them with the necessary supplies. Will sighed as he took his place near the table. It would be his job to refill the chalice, refill it with the poison that could kill his friend. He should have warned them, told her what to expect, but he didn't… he kept the Order's secrets. Out of the corner of his eye he watched the uneasy looks that Aedan was giving Duncan, Will frowned. Aedan was no fool, he knew something was not right… he hoped for Amara's sake that he would not fight… it was always worse when they fought.

"Come, it is time for the Joining," Duncan said, his voice was low and somber. Will wondered after as many Joining's as his commander has done if it still bothered him at all. "The Grey Wardens were founded during the first Blight when all of humanity stood on the brink of annihilation. It was then that the first Grey Wardens drank of darkspawn blood and mastered their taint." Will heard Amara gasp, he couldn't look at her, he knew what he would see in her eyes. He saw the other recruits shift uncomfortably as they realized what was going to be asked of them.

"Drink their blood? Those monsters?" a shocked Ser Jory muttered, his eyes were wide with fear. Will knew Jory was going to be a problem, the man was at heart a coward in a metal suit. The fool would fight… it was always worse when they fought.

"As the first Grey Warden's did before us," Duncan motioned to the other Grey Wardens. "As we have before you. This is the source of our power, this is how we achieve victory." Will watched as the other wardens from Jader drew near, they surrounded the recruits. Duncan must have known that there were potential problems with this batch of recruits… he had taken precautions.

"Those who survive the Joining will be immune to the taint," said Riordan. "It enables us sense the darkspawn, to kill the Archdemon." Will noted he left out all of the other not so heroic attributes of being tainted… always the secrets.

"Survive? This could kill us?" a panicking Jory asked. Jory was getting twitchy Will noticed, but the others… they were still, anger and shock across their faces but they were not panicking like Jory. Will watched as two wardens positioned themselves behind Jory. Will sighed, it is always worse when they fight.

"We speak only a few words, but they have been said since the beginning." Duncan lowered his head and Will internally cringed at the thought of hearing these words again. "Join us brothers and sisters, join us in the dark shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry out the duty that cannot ever be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your ultimate sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day, we shall join you in death." Will chanced a glance at Amara, the look on her face was of anger and fear. He could only imagine what she was thinking, she left the tower for this… now she or her beloved could die. He was surprised by Aedan's expression, it was blank… a nobleman's mask, a man use to hearing unpleasant things and not reacting to them.

He glanced at Alistair, he was staring straight out before him unwavering… he was wearing his Templar mask today. Will had seen him do it before, it always amazed him how he could stand there like a statue for seemly hours at end. He knew his friend had feelings for Amara, even though those feelings were not returned, this couldn't be easy on him. He saw Alistair's jaw clench, it was the only perceivable crack in his mask but a crack none the less.

"Daveth, please come forward," said Riordan. Will did his part and handed Riordan the chalice with the measured amount of potion in it.

"First? I hate being first," Daveth muttered. He took the chalice from Riordan and stared down at the ink black liquid. He looked around at the other recruits. "Well, bottoms up," he said and he drank the vile liquid down in one gulp. At first Will thought he was going to make it, and then it started. Daveth reached for his throat, his fingers started to claw at his neck. Over and over again is mouth opened and closed in a grotesque gagging motion. He dropped to his knees, his fingers were bloodied now, the flesh on his throat torn open by his clawed fingers.

"Do not heal him!" ordered Duncan. Will saw the blue glow of Amara's magic flicker and die as she stared at Duncan in disbelief. Will turned back towards Daveth, he now laid on his side no longer moving, his eyes vacant, his mouth hung open showing his blackened tongue. "I am sorry Daveth…" Duncan said. Two of the Jader wardens lifted Daveth's body from the ground and hauled it away from the ritual area.

"Why?" Amara cried, Aedan had a firm grasp on her arm and was whispering in her ear. Tears streamed down her face and Will could see a faint green glow around her. Please Amara… don't, he thought. He knew no one here could stop her if she acted… Duncan was reckless to recruit her, what if something went wrong? He had known Amara for so long he could never see her turning, but being put into this position was too much for anyone, especially someone with the power to stop it. Duncan ignored her and nodded to Riordan.

"Ser Jory, please come forward," said Riordan. Will hurried to refill the chalice, measuring out the exact amount from the brown ceramic container. When he handed the chalice to Riordan he glanced at Jory, the look of absolute fear consumed his features… Will sighed, it is always better when they don't fight.

"No… no… my wife… she is with child! Had I known…" Ser Jory pulled his sword and started to step away from Duncan. Will shook his head, the poor fool… how could Duncan recruit this man? Didn't he see the weak character before?

"There is no turning back…" Duncan said in a quiet voice.

"No… y-you ask too much, I will not do it," Jory said as he backed up farther. Duncan nodded and the two wardens that were behind him grabbed his arms and his sword dropped to the floor. "Let me go!" Jory yelled as they dragged him to stand before Duncan. Will looked over at Amara, Aedan had her in a firm embrace… his hand on the back of her head so she would not see. Aedan knew, he thought… Maker preserve him… he knew.

"No!" Jory's yell brought Will's focus back to him just in time to see Duncan run his dagger across the man's throat.

"I am sorry…" Duncan said quietly as he watched Jory die and slump forward, his blood spilling out onto the stone tiles. Again the wardens carried another body from the area.

"Aedan, please come forward," said Riordan. Will watched the turmoil in Aedan's face as he loosened his grip on Amara.

"No!" Amara said as she grabbed onto his arm as he started to turn. Aedan leaned forward and gave her a tender kiss. It was more than Will could bear to watch, his heart ached for them. He saw the wardens start to move into position behind them, he looked sharply at Duncan. He wouldn't separate them now… would he? Just give them a moment for Maker's sake, he thought. He watch Aedan lean over and whisper something in Amara's ear, fresh tears poured from her eyes but she nodded. Aedan brought her hand to his lips before slowly letting their hands drop and separate. He turned towards the senior wardens and approached the blood soaked tiles to stand before them. He took the cup, his eyes were hard as stone when he stared at Duncan and drank. Will held his breath as he watched Aedan, he prayed to the Maker that he would survive for Amara's sake. After a moment, Aedan doubled over in pain, dropping the chalice to the ground. He heard Amara cry out and watched as two of the Orlesian Wardens grabbed her arms. When he looked back at Aedan his eyes had gone white, which was a good sign. The sharp flicker of white light drew his eyes back to Amara, his eyes widened as he saw lightning dance across her skin. The two wardens that held her jumped back in surprise, one drew his sword, Will took an involuntary step forward but saw Duncan raise his hand and shake his head. The man lowered his weapon as Amara rushed forward to Aedan's side as he fell forward. Blue energy rippled up and down her hands as she rolled him on to his back.

"He will live…" said Duncan as he approached Amara and the prone Aedan. "Welcome brother," he said as he motioned to the two Wardens that had restrained Amara. "Take him to his tent." Amara didn't move, she stayed at Aedan's side caressing his cheek. Duncan reached down to pull her away, when he grabbed her elbow Amara jerked it away. The look she gave Duncan made Will's blood run cold. The normally open and soft eyes were lost, replaced by a hard anger filled stare that frightened him. He never saw Amara as a killer but in that instant he knew she was considering it. Will knew she could if she wanted to and a part of him wondered if he would be alive right now if Aedan had died.

Amara stood up and let the men take Aedan back to his tent. She stood there rigidly watching them carry him away. Duncan turned to Will and nodded his head, Will sighed and grabbed the chalice from Riordan's hands and refilled it with the last of the potion for Amara. He actually thought about spilling it, sparing her this but he knew she would not flee, especially now that Aedan was a warden. He handed the cup to Riordan and took his place across from Alistair. He could see the former Templar's façade failing… his normally stoic stance was unsettled. He watched as his fists and jaw clenched as his eyes darted to Amara's tense form. His eyes met Will's for a brief moment and Will shook his head. Alistair was known for his brave, well-meaning gestures… one of those right now could prove disastrous.

"Amara, please come forward," Riordan said. Will watched her square her shoulders before she turned to face Duncan. She stepped forward as she glared at Duncan, for his part, Duncan seemed unfazed by her piercing stare. Riordan stepped forward and offered her the chalice. She took it, her eyes never leaving Duncan's. Will could feel the raw power ripple off of her, he found himself taking a step back.

"Maker damn you all," she said coldly as she raised the chalice to her lips and drank. The chalice dropped from her hands as she grabbed her throat. Will felt his stomach drop, please Maker… let her live. He watched her struggle, her body twisting in agony… a gust of wind blew her golden-red hair over her face, she bent over before dropping to her knees. The wind started to blow stronger, Will looked up at the sky to see if a storm had approached when he wasn't paying attention… the sky was clear. He looked back at his friend as she knelt on the ground, she was fighting it! He could see her magic flare and that aura of green around her brighten. She was trying to heal herself he was sure of it but there was something else going on, her magic was erratic. Her hair covered her face, he wish he could see her eyes then he would know if the Joining was successful.

There was a sudden jolt, knocking him off balance, Will grabbed ahold of the table to prevent from falling. The other Wardens looked around in alarm, another jolt and then another. The ground seemed to be shifting under their feet. Will had never experienced an earthquake, he had read about them in the Tower. Another gust of wind howled through the ruins, he could hear the startled screams coming from the main area of the camp. Then something seem to snap deep within the ground and everything started shaking. Will grabbed on to the table tightly as everything around him seem to sway. Between the trembling ground and the gusts of wind many of the wardens found themselves on the ground. He saw that Duncan was still intently watching Amara as he crouched close to the ground to keep from falling.

"What is happening?" Alistair yelled over the wind. There were several loud booms and sounds of stone scraping on stone could be heard as weakened areas of the ruins collapsed due to the quake. Then suddenly it stopped as if it had never happened. Will had just pulled away from the table when it felt like an invisible hand picked him up and throw him backwards. He was flung over the table and slid painfully across the stone tiles for several feet. Before he had stopped sliding a blinding white light that was very intense filled the area. The pulse of light receded and Will was able to open his eyes. The light was coming from Amara! He pulled himself up and his jaw dropped in awe. A shimmering white shaft of light had encompassed Amara and stretched up into the heavens. There were no words to describe it, it was truly a sight to behold. The light seem to shimmer and contract and with a flash it was gone. Amara collapsed forward on to the ground, as she lay there a black smoke seemed to come from her mouth and nose, dissipating into the air.

Alistair was the first one to reach her, lifting her up and cradled her limp form in his arms. He pulled his gauntlet off and brought his hand up to her neck to check for a pulse.

"She's alive!" he said in relief, his hand brushing her hair aside, his fingers lingering as they caressed her cheek. Will found himself on the verge of tears as he knelt down next to Alistair. He took his friend's hand in his as he silently hoped that one day she would forgive him for not telling her what the Joining truly meant. He was so happy that she was alive, even if forgiveness was a long way off…

"Alistair… take her to your tent and watch her. I want to be sure when she awakens that it really is her," Duncan ordered. Alistair nodded, he sat up cradling her to his chest and quickly got to his feet. He hurried to the camp without a second glance.

"You think she's an abomination?" Will asked incredulously. Duncan gave him a deadpan stare, he motioned to the other wardens who nodded and left.

"I don't know what she is," he said quietly. "You saw what happened just as the rest of us," Duncan retrieved the chalice from the ground. "Alistair was almost a Templar, he will do his duty if she is not."

"That's it?" Will said as he stared at his commander.

"If things work out we have two more wardens for the Blight… if not, then only one," he said before turning around and walking away. Will just stood there, he was too stunned to move. There was no empathy in that man, he thought. Riordan came up and clasped Will's shoulder.

"Duncan understands his duty Will… stopping the Blight takes precedence over everything else. You will learn that someday," he said. Will gave him an icy look.

"I hope I do not live long enough to turn into that," he said curtly as he pointed at Duncan and left. When duty is more important than basic humanity, the darkspawn have already won, he thought as he walked down the path to the Warden Camp to check on the new wardens.

-O-


	16. Chapter 16 The kiss of a god

**Authors Note:** To have full appreciation for my version of Urthemiel, google Greek model Theo Theodoridis to get an idea of what I see in my head for his human form. Like I said, my take on a corrupted god is a bit different that in the game. To the guest reviewer who sent me five reviews the other night… Thank you! As always please read and review! Thanks!

-O-

**Chapter 16 – The kiss of a god**

**Amara**

Her arm brushed across the soft sheet as she stretched. Amara yawned and pulled the silky blanket up her chin, she was not ready to wake up just yet. The warmth of the bed lulled her back into a doze as the gentle breeze from the window caressed her face. With a contented sigh she rolled over on her side to face the lingering breeze. There was something on edge of her consciousness that was preventing her from falling back to sleep; a feeling, as fleeting as it was had edged into her mind keeping her awake. The feeling was of unease, but what did she have to be uneasy about snuggled up in her own bed? Her eyes fluttered open slightly revealing a dimly lit bedroom, it was regally furnished yet comfortable… everything she imagined a perfect bedroom would look like. Amara felt herself start to fall back asleep when she heard his voice…

"You should wake my Amara… we don't want to waste all of our time together," a deep voice said with an unfamiliar accent. Amara's eyes snapped open and she quickly sat up. Sitting in a chair next to the bed was a man she had never seen before but yet he was familiar to her. He was breathtakingly handsome, his brown hair hung in gentle waves to his shoulders; the shadow of a beard accented his strong chiseled face. His most striking feature was his pale green eyes, Amara felt herself lost under his gaze. Those eyes bore into her soul making her feel a heated desire for this unknown man sitting across from her. His finely chiseled body was apparent under the loose fitting thin white shirt that was open at the collar, she could see the muscles ripple across his arms and chest as he shifted in the chair. Amara found herself flushed and warm as she admired the man before her. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable from her non-chaste thoughts, she pulled her blanket up to cover her nightgown, the man smirked at her attempt at modesty.

"Who are you? Why are you in my bedroom?" she asked, she looked around the room suddenly confused. "This is my room isn't it?" The man laughed, the very warm sound sent shivers down her spine. Amara found herself blushing and looked away.

"My dear Amara… of course this is your bedroom, did you not just awaken in it?" his demeanor unhinged her. "Let me introduce myself," he stood and took a step towards her. With a graceful bow, he reached down and took her hand, his touch was gentle and warm. "I am Miel," he said as he bent down, his lips brushed lightly across her knuckles as his piercing eyes seemed to drink her in. Amara felt tingles race up her arm as soon as his lips pressed against her skin, she inhaled sharply. Miel seemed pleased by her reaction, as he slowly lowered her hand from his lips. He did not release it immediately, instead allowing his thumb to gently caress the back of her hand before allowing it to drop and returning to his chair leaving Amara flustered and confused.

"How can this be my bedroom? I have to be dreaming…. We must be in the Fade." she looked around perplexed. "This does not feel like the Fade, it is too real." She closed her eyes and tried to use her will to change the room, when she opened them it was all the same. "This is not the Fade…" she stated as she looked at Miel, her eyes wide with shock. He smiled at her, his expression full of amusement. Fear nipped at her but in the end she pushed it away; if this wasn't the Fade then maybe this beautiful man was not a desire demon sent to torment her. The reason why demons should be a worry eluded her, she looked into his pale green eyes and lost were any thoughts of demons.

"No… this is not the Fade my dear Amara, it is a replacement for the Fade, you will never have to go there and be bothered by its inhabitants ever again. This is where you will dream now, here in this realm with me." Amara was more confused than ever… none of this made sense. Uneasiness set in but then the words he said played across her mind giving her comfort that he would be here with her.

"Another realm? Beyond the Veil?" Miel nodded. Amara remembered vaguely what her father had told her about being in another realm, she wondered if this was the same place. "Is this my father's realm?" she asked. Miel shook his head.

"No, but it is similar… a place where you can seek refuge from the troubles in your world. I hope that so far it is to your liking?" He gave her an imploring look, she felt herself nodding yes. His smile made her feel weak, she felt her cheeks warm again under his gaze. A part of her mind was terrified that this unknown man could affect her so much, she was drawn to him; no man had ever made her feel like this. "Come my Amara… I wish to show you around so the next time you come here you can explore. You will find gowns in the armoire." He stood and gestured to the door. "I will wait outside in the hall until you are finished." He smiled at her making her heart flutter then closed the door behind him leaving her confused and alone.

Amara climbed out of bed and opened the door of the armoire, inside were several beautiful gowns of a various colors and fabrics. They were all so fine, nicer than anything she had ever owned. Her fingers brushed over them feeling their lush textures. One in particular stood out to her, a dark forest green silk gown. She pulled it out of the armoire and held it up, she admired it for a moment before pulling off her night gown and replacing it with the silk gown. It fit her perfectly but she could not reach some of the buttons in the back. She combed her hair and pulled some of it up but leaving enough in the back to hide her undone buttons. After a quick glance in the mirror she quickly walked to the door. Amara hoped the gown would please him. She paused after that thought went through her head; that uneasy feeling had returned. It was quickly pushed away as her fingers wrapped around the door handle.

Miel stood on the opposite side of the hallway waiting for her, his pale green eyes locked on hers as soon as she step out of the room. He smiled at her, it made her heart soar to see him so pleased. Amara felt her pulse race as he approached her, she nervously looked down at her hands. Miel gently raised her chin with his finger, his touch made her tremble.

"You are very beautiful my Amara," he breathed as he gazed down into her eyes, his look made her quiver with anticipation. "Let me help you…" he gently turned her away from him. Miel's hand gently brushed her long hair to the side, his fingers softly caressing her neck and shoulders. With deft fingers he quickly finished buttoning her gown, Amara was acutely aware of his touch and the warmth of his body, his breath as he stood close behind her… too close. "Come with me my Amara, let me show you some of the beauty of this realm," he whispered in her ear, leaving her weak in the knees. He stepped back slightly and offered her his arm. That uneasy feeling started to surface again but was gone the moment she slipped her hand around his arm. He led her through what could only be called a palace, it was very grand with fine carpets and tapestries. Miel took time to answer her questions and explain some of the scenes in the tapestries and paintings that lined the wall. She found herself enjoying his company as they roamed the halls of this lovely but empty palace. Miel brought her to a small room with a door leading outside. They exited a door and Amara found herself in a vibrant garden full of every flower imaginable.

"Oh it is so lovely," Amara said as she looked about the garden. Her heart felt very light as she wandered through the garden smelling and touching the flowers, Miel followed a long behind her. He took her to an area where a table had been prepared with food and wine. He pulled her chair out for her and then pulled his own up next to hers. It was a pleasant meal, Amara found herself telling him about her love of plants and potion making. Miel listened intently, his pale green eyes rarely leaving her face. She found herself feeling completely at ease in his presence as they talked and drank wine in the garden. Amara was enjoying herself so much she lost track of time and anything else but Miel's closeness. The sun was starting to set and dusk was upon them.

"There is one more area of the garden I wish to show you my Amara, it is quite beautiful this time of the day," Miel stood up and offered Amara his hand which she accepted without hesitation. She let him lead her down a narrow path until they came to an enclosure, the sound of running water drew her in. A small waterfall cascaded over a stone wall into a small pool, thousands of tiny white flowers lined the stone wall and the edge of the pool. They seemed to glimmer in the fading light giving the area an ethereal glow, Amara gasped in awe at its beauty. Her heart swelled with true happiness as she walked around edges of the small pool, bending to run her fingers through the cool sparkling water. It was perfect here, everything was perfect… too perfect. That sense of unease was back with a force and started to creep back into her mind.

"I am glad you like it my Amara… I knew you would," Miel was suddenly at her side, just his closeness drove all of those feelings away.

"How could you know? I just met you…" she asked, her body seemed to hum as he stepped closer to her. He reached his hand up and cupped her cheek, Amara felt herself lean into his touch. She closed her eyes reveling in his soft caresses as his fingers glided down her cheek.

"I know you my Amara… I have waited for you for so long I have lost count of the centuries," his voice was soft, pulling her in deeper. A whimper escaped her lips as she felt his arm wrap around her waist pulling her to him. "You are everything that I hoped you would be… so beautiful," he murmured. Amara opened her eyes, they were met by Miel's pale green. What she saw there caused her heart to ache, so much longing, so much loneliness, so much pain… Amara found herself closing the distance between them, she pressed her lips against his, at that moment she experienced ecstasy unlike any other. Every part of her tingled and burned like her skin was awash with electricity. Amara felt herself tremble with pleasure as Miel deepened the kiss, a part of her mind screamed out in terror but she did not want this to end. Amara wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer as the kiss became more passionate. She felt Miel's hands caress her everywhere as the kiss grew more frantic; she felt helpless to her own desires. Miel broke the kiss with a growl and started kissing roughly down her chin, leaving a trail of bruised and inflamed skin to her collar bone, she wrapped her arms around his head pulling him closer as her own head fell back with a loud moan. It was at that moment as her mind receded in bliss that she heard the voices.

"… I don't care! Wake her up Will!"

"It's dangerous to pull someone from the Fade…"

"Damn it Will do it now before it's too late!"

Amara felt like something was pulling on her… trying to pull her away from Miel. She fought it, lashing back with what strength she had to resist the force that was trying to separate them. It grew stronger, she heard herself gasp and felt her body wrenched from Miel's grip.

"Amara!" Miel yelled in alarm as he reached for her but she was just out of his reach. Amara struggled against the pull trying to reach out for Miel but it was just too strong.

"Miel! Please!" she cried as she desperately tried to reach him again but it was futile, he was too far away and fading.

"I will come for you my Amara!" he called, and then he was gone and all she could see was darkness.

"Miel!" Amara screamed as she sat up, she was covered in sweat and couldn't catch her breath. "No no no," she said frantically as she looked around her surroundings, there were people here, familiar but terrifying. She could find him, panic set in as realized that he was not here.

"Amara, it's alright," strong arm wrapped around her tightly. "Shh you're going to be ok, I've got you," a familiar voice said. Amara struggled against him, pushing and kicking but the arms stayed. The realization of where she was slowly formed in her mind… Ostagar, she was in a tent in Ostagar. She looked at the faces before her, an anxious Alistair looked on along with a weary and worried Will. "You are going to be ok," a voice murmured in her ear… Aedan's voice. Miel was gone, she was no longer in his realm… he was lost to her. She felt herself break with the feeling of terrible loss, every fiber of her being was reeling, and it was painful… so very painful. She heard the sound before understanding what it was, a sound so pitiful, so full of pain and despair, a wail that hurt to hear it and then she realized that the sound was coming from her own lips. She wept until her throat ran dry. She wept until her eyes offered no more tears. She wept until exhaustion overtook her and she fell limp in Aedan's arms, staring blankly before her.

A roar filled with rage could be heard echoing throughout the Deep Roads…


	17. Chapter 17 The Tower of Ishal

**Authors Note:** This this is the first part of the battle of Ostagar from Amara's perspective. The next chapter will be from Aedan's perspective. Expect the next chapter in a couple of days, I have to go back to work… at least I got a few chapters out this holiday weekend Please review! Thanks for reading!

-O-

**Chapter 17 – The Tower of Ishal**

**Amara**

She didn't want to talk about it. If another person asked her what was wrong or what had happened she was going to set them on fire. Amara quickly packed up her belongings, taking special care to wrap the book and rune pages and secure them in her pack. She grabbed her staff before heading outside of the tent. The darkspawn army had been spotted moving towards Ostagar mere hours after she had awoken. Aedan was waiting for her outside, he gave her another worried look but did not say anything. She didn't blame him after the way she snapped at him earlier. Guilt had caused her angry words and it was guilt had caused push him away after she regained her senses. She could barely look him in the eye when he asked her who Miel was. Even though nothing had happened except a very intense kiss, she still felt like she betrayed him. She didn't even know how to explain what had happened, or if it really did happen at all. Now that she had been awake for a while, Amara started to doubt it was as real. Just a reaction to the Joining ritual… nothing more. Still… a part of her dreaded the next time she would sleep, just in case. Miel's pale green eyes haunted her even now.

Amara followed along behind Aedan and Alistair to the rendezvous point where Duncan and the rest of the wardens were waiting for orders. Seeing the other wardens together like this started to make this more real… this would be her first large battle since that night with Duncan and Aedan in the forest. She felt her throat go dry and her stomach turn in knots as she listened to Riordan divide the wardens up into pairs. Amara stepped up next to Aedan and took his hand, holding on tight. He gave her a look that was full of relief and worry, she felt him gently squeeze her hand in return. Riordan approached them with his roll of parchment.

"Will with Aedan… Alistair with Amara…" She couldn't believe her ears… why wasn't she paired with Aedan? Before they reached Ostagar Duncan promised to keep them together. Before she could protest, Aedan was already questioning it.

"Duncan said before that Amara and I would be kept together," he told Riordan. The senior warden showed Aedan the parchment.

"Duncan made this list a couple of hours ago, it clearly shows who you are to be paired with. If you have a problem with it you are going to have to talk to him." Riordan left them standing there as he went about his task. Amara watched Aedan's jaw clench and his posture go rigid, he was definitely angry. Neither of them had been pleased with Duncan after what happened at the Joining, this just seemed like another slap in the face from the man.

"Come on, let's go find Duncan." Aedan said as he pulled her through the crowd. Amara noticed how quiet the rowdy bunch was, a stark difference from the normal joking and comradely the wardens usually displayed. Fear started to gnaw at her and the realization that many of these men could die tonight set in. The thought of her own mortality did not bother her as much as the thought that something could happen to Aedan. She gripped his hand tighter and fought to keep the tears that were brewing in her eyes in check… she wouldn't burden him with her tears. They finally found Duncan, he was talking to Loghain and Fergus near the tents. They kept a respectful distance until the men went their separate ways.

"Duncan, may I have a word?" Aedan said, his voice was tight. The Warden Commander nodded and motioned them to walk with him.

"Time is short, walk with me…" Duncan said as started walking to the other side of the enclosure where Riordan and other waited.

"Why did you separate us? You told me back at the Inn you would keep us together…" Amara could tell Aedan was trying to keep his tone even, he normally had so much control but she could see it was starting to slip.

"That was when you were bonded, which is no longer the case," Duncan said. "And after the Joining earlier, I want a Templar with Amara… Alistair will do."

"But…" Duncan cut him off.

"I expect you will follow your orders Aedan." And with that Duncan turned and left, effectively ending the conversation… The look Aedan gave Duncan as he walked away said it all, his eyes showed every bit of anger, betrayal and hatred he felt for the man. Amara stepped in front of him and placed a comforting hand on his cheek, it was a small gesture… His eyes immediately snapped to hers, she could see the anger drain away as he looked at her, it was replaced by desperation and worry. Aedan brought his hand up to cover hers and closed his eyes, pressing her hand tighter into his cheek.

"Get with your partner and get your assignments!" A voice yelled over the noise. Amara could see the worry etched in her lover's face as he led her back to where Will and Alistair waited.

"Alistair… a word," he said as they reached the others. Amara watched the two men walk away, everything seemed to be moving fast… there was no time now.

"Do you have potions?" Will asked her, his voice seemed far away as she stared at Aedan and Alistair. "Amara!" Will said sharply. "Potions?" She gave him an apologetic look and pulled her green herb back from around her head and opened it on the ground. She pulled out several master stamina draughts and handed them to Will, her hands were shaking causing the bottles to clank together.

"Make sure keeps a few on him at all times," she said as she frantically started to pull potent health poultice jars from the bag, her hands were shaking worse. Will took the poultices from her then gently place his hands over hers, holding them steady.

"Amara… I will do my best to keep him safe," he tried to reassure her. Amara nodded and choked back a sob. She took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself, pushing the panic she felt deep inside.

"I don't know if I can do this… she said quietly, her voice was shaky. Will nodded and squeezed her hands.

"No one does… but we will try. That is all that we can do," he said with a gentle smile. Amara felt her resolve slip, she threw her arms around his neck and gave Will a tight hug, nearly knocking him over. "We'll be ok… you'll see," he said as he patted her back. He pulled away some and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Alistair will keep you safe… remember, you are not alone." Amara wiped the tears from her face and nodded.

"Here, take the lyrium potions and supplies… I don't need them," she said as she handed him a small bag of lyrium dust and some distillation agent. She pulled out some more stamina draughts and placed them in her pocket before tying her herb bag up. Aedan and Alistair were approaching them, both wearing somber expressions, she got to her feet just in time for Aedan to sweep her up into a tight embrace. Amara held on to him as tight as she could even though his armor was digging into her skin, she burrowed her face into the nook of his neck breathing him in.

"I love you," he said in a hoarse whisper. Amara felt herself shatter and a whimper escape her lips as she tried to hold him tighter. They were supposed to be in this together instead of saying goodbye, she thought bitterly.

"Marcus, Brannon, you're with Loghain in the Van," Riordan called. "Gamic, Sedrick you are with Arl Wulff… right flank." He turned toward their small group. "Aedan, Will… you are with Teyrn Fergus… left flank. Amara, Alistair… Tower of Ishal. Duncan wants her at the top balcony for the battle." Riordan walked away, continuing to call out names. Aedan pulled away and raised her chin with this finger. Amara felt her tears run down her cheeks as she met his eyes.

"We are out of time," he said sadly, his voice breaking with emotion. He bent down and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was gentle, heartbreakingly soft, Amara felt her lips trembling throughout the entire kiss. It felt like it was over before it had a chance to even begin, Aedan broke the kiss and stepped back.

"I love you," she whispered. Aedan smiled softly, his hand coming up to wipe away some of her tears. Amara heard the clank of armor to her right, Alistair had moved to stand beside her. Aedan nodded at him before his eyes met hers again. He bowed his head and let his hand drop before turning and walking away to where Will stood waiting for him. Amara watched him leave until he was lost in the crowd of soldiers preparing for battle. She felt a gentle tug on her elbow.

"We should get going, the Tower is on the other side of the bridge," Alistair said. Amara nodded and took one last look in the direction where she had last seen Aedan before turning to follow Alistair. She was hit with what felt like a wave of nausea, her hand reached out and grasped Alistair's arm. She had felt this before, in the woods but this was a lot worse.

"Darkspawn… a lot of them," she managed to say before she leaned away and threw up.

"Darkspawn! They are here at the tree line!" one of the guard shouted. Amara felt her pulse race. Alistair grabbed her arm.

"We need to go!" he said as he pulled her towards the path. Lightning cracked across the sky as they raced across the bridge.

-O-

The tower was overrun with darkspawn, they should have stayed out. They never should have tried to go the top. It was around the 2nd floor that they realized their error. Darkspawn were pouring into the tower behind them. Alistair and the two soldiers that were assisting them did the best they could to fortify the doors… it did help some.

"Maybe I could collapse a hallway?" Amara asked, she was exhausted and they were barely halfway up. They had to do something, eventually they would be at the top and trapped.

"Not yet, let's get a little higher we don't want a collapse that blocks us inside," said Alistair as he wiped the sweat off his brow before putting his helmet back on. Amara reached her hand up and touched his helmet freezing it slightly to try and make him more comfortable, she did the same for the others. The tower was stifling hot, she did not want anyone to collapse from heat exhaustion. Amara had not been able to use her magic for much inside the tower, the quarters were too close… she did not want to hurt her companions. She would freeze and shatter single darkspawn but most of her abilities were unusable in this stone death trap.

They cleared another floor and another… they were getting close. The men had piled some tables and other debris in front of the doors. For her part Amara fused the hinges, they would have to break the door down to get in. They could hear them pounding and ramming on the doors below, they had to hurry to get to the top. Maybe she could collapse the roof in front of the door… or maybe the wall when they reached the top? She was starting to lose hope at getting out of this tower alive.

They cleared the last floor before the stairway to the top floor and the balcony. None of them had any idea what was going on outside with the rest of the troops. She didn't think that any of her companions held out much hope that they were winning. They climbed the narrow stairway to the top, seeing this stairway gave her a glimmer of hope that she could collapse it enough to seal them in the top. Alistair flung the door open, at first they didn't see anything. There were no torches and it was dark, only the balcony provided light and that was not much… it was raining out and most of the fires in camp had gone out. They stepped inside and shut the door, Amara was just about to slam her staff on the stone and call forth some light when Henrick one of the soldiers that had helped them clear every floor of this tower was grabbed and smashed against the hard stone floor. Amara's staff hit the stone and a ball of light burst forth from the top showing exactly what had taken Henrick. Standing in the now receding shadows was an ogre… it was larger than the one she had killed in the woods. It roared at them and charged, Alistair jumped out of the way but the other companion was not so lucky, Relg the soldier from Denerim died on impact. This was not looking good for either of them.

Amara raised her staff and brought it down sending three more balls of light out, they swirled around the ogre's head confusing it, distracting it as it swatted at them. That gave Alistair time to strike. Amara was surprised on how fast he was in his heavy armor. She had only seen him fight once in the Wilds, those darkspawn were just Glenlocks and an occasional Hurlocks and very few of them.

Without even discussing it, they had worked out a strategy of distraction and striking. Amara would use her magic to distract, inhibit or confuse buying Alistair time to do damage to the monster. She could see that the beast was tiring and used this to their advantage. She froze the ogre in place, in its weakened state it couldn't fight her; it stood there frozen. Alistair used this to his advantage and ran, jumped high in the air bringing his sword down stabbing the ogre in the throat, he drew out his blade and stabbed it again. Amara had never seen anything quite so heroic and reckless in all her life. He jumped off the ogre and pulled his helm off and gave her a huge grin. She couldn't help but share in his mirth and ran up and gave him a tight hug and a chaste kiss on the cheek. Alistair's face had turned red, she blew a light frost onto his neck to cool him down fearing he overexerted himself during battle. Alistair stepped back and gave her a strange look.

"Yes… uh well, we should see about blocking that stairway before we get overrun," he said looking at the door. Amara nodded and started inspecting the walls to see which would be the best to collapse. After a few minutes of contemplation she decided the far wall was the best to bring down. She stood at the top of the stairs, she could hear the banging on the door below and knew she didn't have much time. Amara reached out with her mind do the far wall and started to pull the stone to the stairway. She closed her eyes so she could focus better and after a few moments she could hear stones scraping against each other as she started pulling the support stones away from the others. When the stones slid out a certain distance the wall started to collapse. The stones didn't fall perfectly but the rubble of the wall would provide them some protection. If she had to, she could still collapse that whole side of the tower.

"That should buy us some time," she said. Alistair looked over the rubble and nodded. He pulled the door shut and she melted the hinges. "Let's see how the battle is going." They went to the balcony and looked outside, it was nearly pitch black except for some fires that were burning where the camps were. Even though they could not see much they could hear the battle, the clanking of metal, the screams in pain, the yelling of orders all drifted up to the balcony. "Time to brighten things up a bit," she said with a smile. She slammed her staff down on the floor of the balcony and six large balls of light burst from the end of her staff. With a wave of her arm the balls flew out over the battlefield illuminating the chaos below them.

"Neat trick," Alistair said as the whole area brightened to a near dusk ambiance. Amara's hand went to her mouth stifling a gasp when she saw horror the dark was hiding. Their forces were nearly overran, the lines were still barely holding on the flanks but the vanguard was nearly completely destroyed. "No…" Alistair said his voice barely heard, his shoulders slumped in defeat. They could see the darkspawn surging at the flanks, like a sea of undulating bodies throwing themselves against the lines.

"NO!" Amara cried as she brought up her staff. They couldn't get him… they couldn't get Aedan. "Alistair… you best stand back," she said through clenched teeth as she reached out to the heavens like she did that night in the forest.

"Amara…" he started to protest but the lightning came, crackling around her raised staff, he ran to the far side of the room to avoid getting hit. More and more lightning came, it danced around her, crackling and snapping in the air. She felt that at any second she was going to burst apart… there was just so much energy. The balls of light hovering in the air grew brighter so she could see where she needed to strike. Almost ready… almost… now! The first bolt burst from her left arm, it hit in the center of the mass of darkspawn that was attacking the left flank throwing darkspawn intp the air. The lightning formed into a burning white ball as she poured more energy into it. When she pulled back the ball exploded tearing through the darkspawn ranks, the sound was deafening. Amara extended her right arm and did the same thing to the darkspawn hitting the right flank. She felt herself weaken after she let go the last bolt but she kept going sending bolts throughout horde, each strike visibly weaker than the last. She felt the tower shake and heard a loud scraping noise from outside the door.

"Amara they are at the door!" Alistair yelled. Amara tried to turn but she had no strength left, she collapsed onto the ground. She was trying to lift herself back up when the door exploded sending Alistair flying across the room, crashing into the far wall unconscious. Debris from the door rained down on her as she was flung back into the rails of the balcony, knocking the wind out of her. Three Genlock emissaries walked through the door followed by some tall Hurlock with a horned helm. Amara raised her hand and summoned what energy she had from the lightning and sent it at them. She managed to kill one of the emissaries before the paralysis spell froze her in place. She lay there helpless as the darkspawn flooded the room. Amara heard the sound of tearing and wood snapping, it appeared to be coming from the roof but she could not look up to see what was happening. A hot wind burst across her face but the paralysis spell held her locked in place, she could not see what had caused the wind, nor could she see why the darkspawn were fleeing back down the stairs. A fireball burst forth consuming the darkspawn and blowing out the side of tower. It was only then after the paralysis spell broke and she fell back onto the floor that she saw what had saved her. Climbing in through the large torn hole in the roof was a brilliant red and black dragon. Everything started to fade then, the last thing she remembered was the feeling of flying before darkness overtook her.

-O-


	18. Chapter 18 On the front lines

**Authors Note:** This chapter runs in parallel with chapter 17… I hope I did the battle scene justice. Next chapter should be out in a couple days… works been terrible; that is why it is delayed. As always thank you for reading and please review!

-O-

**Chapter 18 – On the front lines.**

**Aedan**

Aedan had to will every muscle in his body to take that first step away from her. He thought it would get easier with every step he took away… but it didn't. He had to keep telling himself to not look back, he knew if he did that he wouldn't be able to walk away. Aedan pressed forward through the crowd of soldiers, he had to find his brother. He had Fergus in his sight when the call went out, they were here! The darkspawn army was here. He shouldn't have left her, he should be the one protecting her; he should be the one at her side. Duncan had taken that away from him. Maker how he hated that man, it was his fault that he was not with her right now. It is his fault he had to make Alistair promise him to take care of her; to promise he would do anything and everything to keep her safe. Aedan knew that he may not live through the night, he had to make sure there was someone there for her that could love her as much as he did. Maker how he hated Duncan!

"Aedan! Let's go little brother! Help me get the lines formed," Fergus yelled to him over the noise. Aedan nodded and started walking back through the crowd. He knew his role in this battle, he would follow Fergus' lead and back him up where he could.

"Everyone into formation! Move!" he yelled to the men around him. "The darkspawn are here! Form the lines!" His own voice startled him… it was loud and commanding. He watched as the men obeyed without question, within a few minutes the disorganized mob of men had formed themselves into rows six deep. It shouldn't surprise him, Fereldans are warriors; there hasn't been a recent generation that has not experienced war. Fergus was anxiously awaiting him when he returned with Will following close behind him… his new shadow. Fergus pulled them over to an area out of earshot of the men.

"I'm not going to dance around on this… we are not prepared, not for the number the scouts reported," Fergus said in a hushed voice. His candor startled both he and Will, he did not expect this. Men had been amassing at Ostagar for weeks, how could they not be prepared?

"How? I've been at the planning sessions…" Aedan said, his heart was racing. Fergus shook his head.

"We don't have enough men… Eamon's men are not here yet. Half of Highever forces… Gwaren's are still in route… the numbers the scouts have reported are at least three times the men we have here." The reality of what awaited them burned cold through Aedan's heart… they would not survive this battle.

"Have all the scouts reported in?" asked Aedan, he still clung to a small hope that maybe the numbers were wrong.

"All but two groups, one led by Ser Donall, the other by the Grey Warden Lena Mahariel…" Fergus didn't finish… Aedan saw Will's face drop. Lena… that was his lover's name. He had met her at camp briefly after Amara had healed Will, she was a Dalish elf. Lena and Will had been together for many months, now she was more than likely dead somewhere in the Wilds. Aedan felt a wave pity for the man, he grasped Will's shoulder to offer support. Will nodded and gave him a sad smile.

"She knew the risks… but I still hold some hope that she is alive. If anyone could get out of there alive it would be Lena," he said with sorrow in his voice. Aedan nodded, he found his eyes trailing over to the tower in the distance. Lightning streaked across the sky behind the tower, a feeling of dread and foreboding filled Aedan's heart. He should be at her side not Alistair.

"Where is Cailan?" he asked his brother, if they are not prepared the King should be long gone before the battle begins. Fergus' face contorted with anger, Aedan was shocked at his brother's reaction.

"The fool is in the vanguard! The blighted idiot refuses to leave, he has too much faith that Duncan and his men will take care of the whole damn Blight in one battle! Loghain tried to make him leave but the stubborn fool won't budge," Fergus spat unable to control his anger and disgust for the King.

"We have to try and reason with him! What about Anora? How could he do this to her? If he dies he'd be leaving her with a Blight, no heirs and Howe?" Aedan said incredulously. Fergus laughed bitterly.

"You could leave a trail of whores from here to Denerim and the fool wouldn't budge… you think he would for a wife he doesn't give two shits about?" Fergus shook his head. "No brother, he's staying, he thinks he's going to be some hero… the King who single-handedly stopped the Blight and he's going to take the rest of us down with him." More lightning lit up the sky, it was then they finally saw the movement by the trees.

"By the Maker! Did you see that? There are so many!" said a soldier behind them, his voice hollow with fear. The three men turned to look out over the field to the tree line. It was difficult to see individual darkspawn but you didn't need to… there were so many it looked like a wall of shadow approaching them. Fergus reached over and clasped Aedan's shoulder. Aedan turned sharply and saw the resignation in his brother's eyes.

"This is it little brother," he said sadly as he stepped away. Fergus drew his sword and walked out in front of the rows of men. It was his brother standing between their troops and the incoming wall of darkspawn. Aedan felt his chest constrict with fear and pride.

"Hold your lines!" Fergus shouted at the men. "If you hold the line, if you stand your ground they will not get through! If you flee, if you condemn your countrymen to death, the darkspawn will not stop here!" Fergus yelled as he walked down the line. "They will march across the land and they will kill our families, destroy our villages and blight the very ground you walk on!" Fergus turned and walked back the other way in front of the men. "Hold the lines!" he yelled out to the terrified men before him. The sound of the masses of darkspawn was getting louder but still Fergus' voice carried above all the noise.

"Do not fight for me! Do not fight for a king! Fight for your homes! Fight for your families! Fight for Ferelden!" he yelled raising his sword above his head. The men followed suit and raised their swords. "FOR FERELDEN!" they yelled, the sound was deafening. Fergus spun around and jogged back to where Aedan and Will were waiting, the darkspawn were closing in. "Stay with me brother!" he yelled as he readied his sword. Aedan nodded, he drew his blades and braced himself as the first darkspawn charged the line. "Hold the line!" Fergus yelled as the horde smashed into their shields and swords, black blood sprayed through the air as the darkspawn were cut down… still more came. "Hold the lines!"

-O-

"Fergus! We can't keep this up!" Aedan cried as he ran his blades through another darkspawn. He pulled out another stamina potion quickly drank it. Will cast a minor restorative spell on him and he was back on the line cutting down more darkspawn. Aedan didn't know how many darkspawn he had killed, there was no way to count, the bodies were piled high but they just kept coming. The rain had picked up pace, most of the torches had gone out, the only way to really see was if you were lucky enough for lightning to bring some light to the area.

The line was still holding, he didn't know how… it was a testament to Fergus' leadership that so many were still alive. He had set up a rotation and used his archers to full advantage to give the troops some time to rest but as the hours dragged on no amount of troop rotation was going to matter. The darkspawn were wearing them down, he knew it and Fergus knew it. It was only a matter of time.

"Volley!" Fergus yelled. After the arrows rained down, "Rotate!" could be heard. Even with Amara's stamina potions and his added warden stamina he was getting tired, his muscles ached. He didn't know how Fergus was managing to hold out this long. They seemed to be coming faster now, a never ending stream of darkspawn. They slammed against the shield wall pushing the men back, Aedan knew they would be overrun soon… there was just too many. They were coming at them now from the side as if the vanguard was not even there, it was too dark to see.

"Andraste! It's Andraste!" one of the men cried. Aedan had heard too many cries to the Maker and his bride tonight, just another man dying. He brought his blades down hacking the head off another darkspawn. For everyone that he killed two more replaced it.

"It's her! The tower!" another man yelled. Tower? Aedan paused, he looked to the tower. His eyes widen in shock… he saw her… Amara. She was the most beautiful sight, her long hair blowing around her as the wind caught it. She was glowing, that ethereal white shimmer, just like the night in the forest. He was too far away to see any true details but he knew it was her. Aedan watched as she raised her staff high above her head and brought it back down quickly. Glowing balls of light poured out of the end of the staff and into the air; they shot high in the sky across the battlefield, illuminating the ground below with their light. Aedan's eyes hurt as they tried to adjust to the brightness, they were so use to the darkness. The light sent many of the darkspawn fleeing but there was such a mass of them in the field there was nowhere to go but through the soldiers. Panicked darkspawn started to rush the line, their grizzled black bodies pounded against the shields as they tried to climb over each other to get away.

"Hold the line! Volley!" yelled Fergus as he fought to get to his brother's side. "Aedan! Is that Amara?" he yelled as he sliced his way through the darkspawn. Aedan could only nod his head as he watched lightning erupt across the sky, all of the bolts were streaking across the heavens directly to Amara as if she was calling it to her. Amara's glow intensified, it was so bright he could not look at her anymore.

Suddenly the lightning stopped and the cloudy sky went still, the bolts just disappeared leaving no trace of their presence. The entire tower was consumed in pulsating bright white light; it was painful to look at but Aedan felt his eyes drawn to it. A large bolt of lightning unlike any he had seen before burst from the glowing tower and shot through the darkspawn ranks several feet front the line. Aedan could feel his hair stand on end as the electricity filled the area. Burnt pieces of darkspawn flew through the air smash into the men in the lines, filling the air with a grotesque burnt flesh smell. Aedan watched in awe as the light seemed to pool into a ball no bigger than a melon. There was a strange humming sound that was growing louder by the second until it was nearly deafening. A strong hand grabbed ahold of his arm and dragged him back. It was Fergus, his eyes were wide with fear.

"FALLBACK!" yelled Fergus. "RUN! FALLBACK!" he screamed as he pulled Aedan back farther away from the glowing ball. Aedan came to his senses and grabbed Will's collar pulling him along as they scrambled over the small hillside to the trees behind them. A noise louder than any he's ever heard ripped across the battlefield as the ball of light exploded. The ground was shaking, it threw them off balance as a great wind lifted and flung them into underbrush at the forest edge. The men collapsed into a heap on the ground.

"Fergus?! Are you alright?" Aedan yelled. His ears hurt, but he seemed unharmed otherwise. He heard a groan from the other side of the tree, it was Fergus… Will was next to him. Both were alive, shaken and bruised but they were alive. Another explosion rocked the battleground but this was too far away to cause them harm. Aedan was in shock, he was having a hard time believing what he just witnessed.

"By the Maker!" Fergus exclaimed as he pulled himself from the ground. He helped Will to his feet and the three men climbed the small hill to peer out on to the battlefield. The glowing orbs still illuminated the field and nearby area. The devastation was incredible, they were in awe at the amount of carnage, piles and piles of dead darkspawn in front of where the lines were. There was a large crater not far from where they were standing earlier; if Fergus wouldn't have grabbed him…. Aedan didn't want to finish that thought. Several soldiers were wandering around in a daze, others were still fighting the few remaining darkspawn, in a matter of second the whole scene had changed. Another bolt of lightning shot from the tower landing in the middle of the field where there was still a small concentration of darkspawn. The explosion was much smaller than the other two. She must be weakening, he thought. He was still in awe that his Amara had done all of this, it just didn't seem possible that his beautiful shy lover could level an army of darkspawn.

"Maker!" muttered Will in awe. "I had no idea she was capable of this." After a few minutes the lightning stopped and Aedan could no longer see her on the balcony. The center field was empty before them, there seemed too few carcasses; the field had been completely overrun earlier. "Where are the rest of the darkspawn? Those explosions wouldn't have killed them all," Will said, his eyes searching the now vacant battlefield. The men looked at each other in confusion.

"There!" cried Fergus as he pointed towards the bridge. Aedan felt his blood run cold. The darkspawn had completely broken through the vanguard and were charging the tower.

"No! Amara!" Aedan yelled as he tried to run but Fergus and Will grabbed him. "Let me go!" He tried to force himself loose but they would not let him go.

"There is nothing you can do," said Fergus as he held on to his brother. "You can't help her… nothing can." Aedan watched in horror as the small dark shadows started filling the bottom of tower. There was no way for her to escape, she was trapped… the darkspawn would take her. The full horror of those words crushed him. Oh Maker please don't let them take her. Duncan's words ran through his mind… _"Do you know how darkspawn breed Aedan?"_ "NO!" he screamed as fresh tears ran down his face. He hoped Alistair would end it, that he would kill her before they took her. He felt himself break at the thought of Amara being turned into a Broodmother. Please Maker, don't let them take her.

His eyes were fixed on the tower when his ears heard the odd sound. It sounded like when the swans would fly out of the ponds near Highever… a flapping noise. It was loud too loud be any bird…

"Look! A dragon!" cried Will as he cowered in fear. Aedan stood frozen in terror as a large dark red dragon flew over the battlefield, it was heading straight for the tower.

"Is that the Archdemon?" asked Fergus his voice low and full of fear. "Aedan!" Fergus hissed sharply, he got no response. Aedan just stood there helplessly watching as the dragon landed on the roof of the tower and began tearing the roof apart. "Oh Maker!" was all that Fergus could say as they watched the side of the tower explode in flame. The glowing orbs abruptly disappeared and the battlefield went dark again. All they could see clearly was the burning tower. Aedan could not believe this was happening, he felt to his knees. The dragon took flight and breathed another fireball, the entire top of the tower was engulfed in flames. With a piercing roar the dragon flew across the sky to the south and disappeared. No one said anything, everyone was too stunned. Aedan felt more tears run down his cheeks, he couldn't find the strength to wipe them away. She was gone, no one could have survived that… Amara was dead. Thank you Maker, for not letting them take her. He felt Will and Fergus pull him to his feet, he was numb as they led him away. The only thing repeating through his battle-torn and sorrow filled mind was just one phrase… Thank you Maker, for not letting them take her.


	19. Chapter 19 A Destiny Denied

**Authors Note:** Sorry for the late update, work was pretty horrendous this week. This is a split perspective chapter… there will be more of these as the story progresses. Thank you for reading and please review!

-O-

**Chapter 19 – A Destiny Denied**

**Amara**

The cool morning air and the sound of birds chirping drew Amara from her slumber. She found herself laying on top of a soft bed, Amara looked around to find herself back in that perfect bedroom in Miel's palace. She sat up quickly, pain shot through her head, Amar shut her eyes and reached her hands up to rub her temples. Fragmented memories began to surface in her mind, the battles within the tower… the lightning… the explosions… bits and pieces flashed behind her eyes. The pain started to subside a little as the rush of images receded. Amara didn't know how she could have survived the tower. All she knew with any certainty was that she was very tired and her that head ached.

"You overextended yourself my Amara, you must be more careful," said a deep voice. Amara's eyes snapped open to find Miel sitting in a chair next to the bed. His pale green eyes were intensely looking at her; they were full of concern. Amara's heart started to race when she saw him, the kiss they shared in the forefront of her mind. It had only been a day but it seemed much longer since she was with him.

"Miel!" she exclaimed as she sat up straighter, unconsciously her hand touched her lips as the memory of their kiss flashed in her mind. Miel left his chair to sit next to her on the bed, Amara felt her heart start to beat faster with anticipation as he brought his hand up to cup her cheek.

"You scared me… I have only just found you my Amara, I do not want to lose you," he said softly as his thumb brushed against her delicate skin. She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand, his warm touch brought a feeling of happiness and comfort to her. She had so many questions… who he really was and why he affected her so much… but they were pushed away in her mind. All she really wanted was to kiss him again even though she was exhausted. Amara wasn't afraid this time nor did she feel any unease like the last time; this time she only felt anticipation.

The mattress shifted as Miel leaned forward, his cheek grazing against hers as he leaned in. "I've missed you…" he said softly as he drew her into an embrace, his hot breath on her neck igniting a wave of shivers through her body. Miel held her tight to him, his hand gently stroking her hair while leaving soft kisses on her brow and temple. Amara felt so safe and protected in his arms. She sighed contently as she leaned into him and nuzzled into the nook of his neck breathing in his spicy scent… this felt right. They just held each other, neither spoke… both seemed happy to just to be in each other's arms. After several minutes Miel finally pulled away, he brought his hand up and drew his fingertips down her cheek, Amara's breath hitched as his fingers trailed down to her neck. "Promise me you be more careful my Amara. Promise me you will not put yourself in such danger again." Amara looked into his pale green eyes and felt her heart swell. He truly cared for her and was worried, she wanted nothing more than to make that worry go away.

"I promise to be more careful, I'm sorry for worrying you," she said softly. "You have become too important to me… I will not take the risks." Amara truly meant that, whatever was developing between them felt more meaningful than anything else in her life. Miel's eyes studied her for a moment before he leaned forward and captured her lips with his. Amara had been wanting… aching… for this since she was pulled from his arms that night. The kiss was gentle but demanding, Amara felt herself tremble as he deepened the kiss and it grew more passionate, she wanted to be his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave in to the sensations that were rippling through her body. A whimper escaped Amara's lips as her body started to hum, the sensation sent waves of vibrations to her inner core. She gasped as Miel reluctantly pulled away, Amara desperately clung to him not wanting the moment to end. Miel smiled at her and gave her a soft kiss on her brow before pulling back completely.

"You have been weakened my Amara, you need more rest. I will not do anything that will diminish you farther." He guided her back down to the pillows and pulled the blankets back up before leaning down to kiss her again. Miel went to stand and Amara grabbed his arm.

"Will you stay?" she asked, she was not ready for him to go. Amara felt they had so little time together as it is. Miel gave her an odd look, he seemed genuinely puzzled by her request. Amara slid over in the bed and patted the area next to her.

"You wish for me to lay with you?" he asked incredulously. "You are not strong enough, I will not hurt you like that." Miel stood up and stepped away upset. Amara was confused, she did not know why he was upset and acting this way. She didn't understand why it would bother him especially after the kisses they've shared.

"Miel, I just wanted you to hold me so I could sleep. I… I just didn't want to waste a moment of our time here," she said as she looked down at her hands. Amara felt foolish, maybe she was misinterpreting things with Miel… maybe he was not feeling the same things she was. Flooded with doubts, Amara mumbled an apology and turned on her side away from him. She had closed her eyes tight and tried not to think about it when she felt him climb into the bed behind her. Her heart skipped a beat when he drew up the covers and settled in behind her. He pressed against her as his arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her close. Amara sighed contently and eased back into Miel's arms, her hand covering his at her waist. Warmth spread through her like a small fire when Miel nuzzled the back of her neck before planting delicate kisses down the side. Everything was as it should be.

"Sleep my Amara… I'll not let you go," he whispered into her ear. Amara found herself drifting off to sleep in Miel's arms, she never knew there could be such happiness.

-O-

**Morrigan**

It has been four days and she had not awaken… four days and Morrigan was worried. Mother had said she had nearly drained herself and that it would just take time for her to get better. She hoped Mother was right, Amara had just came back into her life she didn't want to lose her. Morrigan ran her fingers through her hair and walked back to check on Amara. She looked better today, actually she looked more than better. Her face had a slight flush and her lips were a deep red… they looked almost painted. Morrigan looked closer, her hair seemed a darker shade of red. It had to be a trick of the light… she went to the window and pulled the shade open. Morrigan's eyes widen… definitely not the light!

"Mother!" she cried as she slammed open the door to the cottage. Flemeth was nowhere to be found but her call roused the attention of the sulking Templar by the stream.

"Is it Amara? Is she ok? Is there something wrong?" the Templar babbled at her. Morrigan glared at him.

"She is fine fool. Where is my mother?" she snapped at him. Why Mother bothered saving that idiot she would never know.

"Can I see her?" he asked. Morrigan rolled her eyes, ever since they had arrived all the Templar has wanted is to sit at Amara bedside and stare at her… like some dog staring at a bone.

"If my mother approves then yes, tis her call not mine," she hoped her mother would chase him out like she did the past few days. The hopeless fool was more of an annoyance than any real harm but she still did not want him weeping at Amara's bedside again. The Templar nodded and retreated back to the stream. Good, she thought… at least he didn't beg this time.

She went back inside the cottage and shut the door. Mother picked a fine time to disappear… Morrigan had too many unanswered questions. What she had read in the prophecy had scared her and her friend was in the middle of it. Morrigan sat down in the chair by the bed and watched her friend sleep. Amara looked so peaceful, so contented and if you looked at her from the right angle… she seemed to have a small smile about her lips. Twas hardly what one would expect from someone tormented in their sleep by a corrupt god. And if that was the case, why hadn't mother put down protection and banishment runes? It was almost like Flemeth was allowing her to be in the presence of Urthemiel… it made no sense why her mother would do that. Mother knew what was riding on Amara's ability to resist the god… why expose her unnecessarily? Morrigan got up and started to pace, the longer this dragged out the more she started to question her mother's motives. The door opened causing Morrigan to cease her pacing and turn, Mother was finally back.

"Where have you been?" Morrigan asked curtly. Her mother snorted and pushed past her to reach Amara's bedside. "She's different…" Morrigan said as she pointed to her hair and face. "Why?" She watched her mother walk around the bed and inspect Amara. The woman reached her hand out and laid it gently on Amara's forehead. Morrigan watched as her mother's lips curled into a smile.

"Good…good! Better than I had hoped." Flemeth left Amara's bedside and walked to the small kitchen, she started making herself some tea. Morrigan stood there with her hands clenched at her sides, she was infuriated with her mother's behavior.

"Good? Better than you hoped? What is going on Mother? What is happening to her?" Morrigan asked exasperatedly as she sat down at the table. Her mother just smirked and continued to get the tea ready, earning more of Morrigan's ire. "Mother! Please!"

"He is with her," her mother said as she poured the hot water into the teapot. "The changes you see are the effect of his presence… his grace." Morrigan stared at her mother, her mouth opening and closing several times before she could speak.

"With her? Changing her? And you do nothing?" Morrigan couldn't believe what Flemeth had just said. How could she just leave her with him? "Have you lost your mind Mother?"

"Quiet girl! Keep your voice down and do not wake her," hissed her mother. "I am giving her a gift…"

"A gift? How is this a _gift_?" Morrigan sneered as she pushed her chair back and stood up. "You are exposing her! He will take her and bend her to his will! He will…" Flemeth cut her off.

"He will not," she said sharply. "He cares for her…" Morrigan backed away from her mother as if she had grown a second head.

"You have lost your mind… Tis the only explanation for you even saying such insanity." Flemeth glared at her.

"My wits are about me girl now lower your voice before you wake her or that fool Templar comes knocking to find out why you are squawking like a goose. Now sit!" she commanded in a low menacing voice. Morrigan gave her mother a startled look before sitting back down in the chair. "Ready to listen?" Morrigan nodded. Flemeth sighed and sat down in a chair with her tea. "They were supposed to be together, the darkspawn were to find Lusacan this time… not Urthemiel. With Razikale gone and Urthemiel with Amara the Blights would stop with the death of Lusacan. That all changed when a creature called the Architect set the darkspawn on a path to Urthemiel's prison."

"The Architect… that was the creature you said Amara killed when her mother died!" Flemeth nodded as she sipped her tea.

"Yes… it tried to capture her, it was going to take Amara into the Deep Roads and corrupt her; when they found Urthemiel they were going to try and breed them… try to make darkspawn gods, creatures more powerful than the Archdemon," Flemeth said quietly. Morrigan felt sick, she glanced over to Amara's sleeping form… she was glad the darkspawn had underestimated her friend. "The gift I am giving her is time with Urthemiel… a few short days to be with him in his realm where he has yet to be corrupted." Flemeth smiled sadly at her, display an emotion Morrigan had doubted her mother capable of feeling. "The Architect took more than her mother away from her child… he stole an eternity of happiness and love with Urthemiel from her." Her mother looked at Amara, her eyes were distant. "It is the least I can do for failing to stop the Architect…" She rested her eyes back on Morrigan. "He cares for her… loves her as much as a god can and because of that he will not harm her. Urthemiel saw what happened when he sent the darkspawn after her… it nearly killed her, she will end up burning every ounce of her life force to prevent being taken."

"So he won't try to possess her… but to what end? You say he is not entirely corrupt, what does that mean?" Morrigan hated it when he mother would not completely explain things, she always assumed everyone knew every detail she did.

"He exists on two planes… here in our realm as the Archdemon and in a realm outside of the Fade where he is in his human form… his purest form. Somehow he coexists as both, here he is the Beast… his mind is decayed with madness and corruption. In the other realm he is sane, the Beast is like a dream to him… a nightmare. Eventually the madness will overtake him and if the Beast is killed he will cease to exist." Flemeth gave her daughter a weary look. "There is no way to undo the path they are on, Urthemiel is clever and I'm sure he is trying to find a way to avoid the inevitable but the corruption and madness cannot be erased. That is why he will not possess her or try to corrupt her… he still thinks there is a way they can be together. As long as Urthemiel's preoccupied with that he's not marching every darkspawn in the Deep Roads across Thedas. It buys us time…"

"You are using her as a diversion? What if she cannot resist him? You are playing a dangerous game Mother!" Morrigan seethed.

"This is not a game girl, this is our only chance! A full darkspawn army under Urthemiel would be devastating… all of the Grey Warden's in Thedas couldn't stop it… he is too powerful."

"And how long do you expect Amara to last against a god that is that powerful if every time she closes her eyes he's there?" Morrigan said in a low voice. Flemeth shook her head.

"That's what the champions are for. Do you think I am that foolish girl?" Flemeth said as she glared at her daughter. "A champion will prevent her from having direct contact with him if she is bound to him. Urthemiel may be able to contact her in the Fade but he will not be able to touch her mind there."

"I don't know if you noticed but her champion is not here… he is probably dead in Ostagar!" She watched as Flemeth turned her head and looked out the window at the Templar sitting by the stream. Morrigan shook her head. "No! You cannot be serious! That idiot?"

"He will do," her mother said with a smirk.

-O-

**Amara**

"It's beautiful here," Amara said as she snuggled back into Miel's arms. The past five days have been perfect, like a fairytale. Spending time with Miel has been wonderful. He was hesitant at first to show his feelings for her, but the more time they spent together, Amara found him to be very romantic. Miel would do little things to make her smile or he would take her to places in his realm that he knew she would like. Today the shore was where they would spend the day, they had packed their meals and left in the morning. Miel had found the most perfect spot where they could watch the ocean. Amara sighed with happiness and desire when Miel gently kissed down the side of her neck as he tightened his arms around her. She closed her eyes and reached her hand up and caressed his cheek. "I want to stay here with you, just like this…" she sighed contently. The view was breathtaking, Amara could see why Miel wanted to show her this… he loved to show her the beauty of his realm.

"Now that I've found you… I do not wish to part with you my Amara," Miel said as he leaned forward and kissed her neck again, this time the kiss lingered drawing a low moan from Amara's lips. She turned to face him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she brought her lips to his. Their kiss quickly became enflamed as their desire for each other took over. Amara wanted nothing more than to make love to him, she could barely contain herself. "Amara…" Miel's voice was low and husky as he pulled away from her. "We must stop…" he said breathlessly. She didn't want to stop… not today.

"Please Miel…" Amara said as she writhed in his arms. "I am better now… please… I want to be with you," she said, her heavily lidded eyes were full of need. She leaned forward and started kissing his neck, drawing a series of sighs from Miel as he allowed himself to give into her affections. Amara left a trail of soft kisses along his jawline back to his mouth when her kisses became more demanding and passionate. After a few moments Miel let out a low groan before grabbing her and rolling her underneath him in one fluid motion. He started kissing her fiercely, his hands roamed her body as his hips ground into her. Amara moaned and arched into him feeding into his fervor, she was in a state of ecstasy, pleasure ripped through her body. Amara was lost…passion was consuming her… Miel's passion. Her body hummed and tingled at a rate that was nearly painful. Amara's senses were overloaded, it felt like she was being held under water, drowning slowly… drowning in his essence, drowning in Miel. Panic seized her as she struggled against his power that threatened to consume her. Miel must have sensed her distress and pulled back, as soon as he did the sensations were gone, it was followed by the overwhelming sense of loss. Amara felt herself being pulled into an embrace as sobs wracked her body.

"I am so sorry my love," he murmured as he held her tight. "Please forgive me. I lost control I never should have let it get that far… you are not strong enough." Amara felt herself calm at his words, his voice was full of regret and sorrow… she couldn't bear the pain in his voice.

"Please Miel… it is not your fault, you've told me we need to wait until I am stronger. I just want to be yours in every way…" she said softly as she rested her head against his chest.

"You are everything to me," Miel said as he wiped her tears away. "I want you more than I could have ever imagined." He leaned down and gently kissed her lips. "But I do not want you broken… I do not want you as my thrall. You are too precious to me my Amara, I want you as my equal… to be my queen at my side for the rest of eternity." Amara was overcome with joy when she heard those words. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly on the lips. Before the kiss could get too heated, Miel pulled away and rested his forehead on hers. "You must go back my love… if I keep you here with me, you will never be strong enough." Amara felt all of her joy and happiness crash the moment he said she had to go back. Go back? She never wanted to leave him… there was nothing left for her in Ferelden.

"I do not want to go back there! Please Miel…" He silenced her with a kiss, Amara felt herself melt into his arms as the kiss deepened. Miel took his time, his lips gently caressing hers one moment, then the next moment his lips dominating her… each kiss bringing her to a new level of arousal. Within a short time he had her worked up into a frenzy again. He pulled away abruptly, both were out of breath and panting.

"We can go no farther my love… you have to go back, get stronger… learn to master you magic or this is all we can be," he said sadly. "And this is not enough for me… one day I will not be able to stop, I will take you and then I will be nothing more than your master. Please my love, do not fight this… do this so we can be together." Amara just nodded, she knew he was right… as much as she did not want to leave him, she knew she had to.

"When?" she asked sadly. Amara knew it was going to be soon… she had been here for many days already.

"We will have our dinner and watch the sun set. You will go to sleep in my arms and when you awaken… you will be back in Ferelden," he said cheerlessly. Amara looked away as fresh tears started to stream down her cheeks. Miel pulled her to him, his arms wrapping around Amara holding her tight. She closed her eyes and clung to him, her only hope was that she would be able to return to him quickly.

They lay in each other's arms watching the sun work its way towards the horizon. Their hearts were heavy as they watched the waves wash against the rocks as the tide slowly started to rise. Amara gazed at the sky as it took on the familiar purple hues of dusk and knew their time was nearly over. She tried to fight it but felt herself slowly pulled away by the sound of the wind and the sea. The last thing she remembered hearing was Miel's voice…

"I will find a way my love and we will be together… forever."

-O-


	20. Chapter 20 Everything gets taken away

**Authors Note:** Another split perspective chapter. The next chapter will be with Fergus and crew… I haven't forgotten them. As always please read and review!

-O-

**Chapter 20 – Everything gets taken away**

**Alistair**

He had never felt as alone as he did right now. Alistair stared down at Duncan's dented and scratched shield and wept. The witch had brought it back sometime in the night along with the Kings armor and Loghain's sword. She said they were all dead, the few survivors have fled north to either Lothering or Redcliffe. Flemeth said there was little hope for any remaining Grey Warden survivors if they were anywhere near the area she found Duncan and the King. All of his brothers… gone. How could this happen? How could they have been so unprepared? There was no one to answer his questions… they were all dead. Alistair sighed and looked towards the cottage, there would be no answers there. Amara still had not awoken, it had been six days now and he seriously doubt that she would at this point. Maybe it was for the best if she did not… there was no hope now. What could the two of them do against an army of darkspawn? Even though what she had done in the Tower had been impressive, look at what it cost her… the witch said she nearly drained herself.

Alistair had just finished cleaning everything that Flemeth had brought back from Ostagar when the witch opened the door to the cottage and waved at him.

"Templar… she's awake," was all she said before going back inside. Alistair felt his chest tighten with anticipation. He was unsure if what the witch said meant he could come in and see her or if they were just informing him that she was awake. The two women have chased him out so many times in the past six days he wasn't sure what to do. They haven't even let him in to see her in the past two days, he had no idea what to expect. Alistair washed his hands off in the stream before approaching the cottage. He slowly pulled the cottage door open and entered; he was not prepared for what he saw… Sitting up in the bed was Amara but she was different, really different. Her hair was no longer the golden-coppery color that he remembered, it was now a deep auburn; the red highlights shimmered in the sunlight that streamed in through the window. It was a sharp contrast to her cream colored skin as it fell in waves around her face and shoulders. Her eyes made him stop and forget to breathe, they were an intense green color that almost seemed to glow, like cut emeralds glimmering in the light. Alistair felt like they were looking straight into his heart… his very soul. He was speechless as he gazed upon her… she was even more beautiful now, he didn't know how that was even possible. More beautiful than any painting or statue of Andraste he had ever seen. He found himself dazed and walking to the bedside, he sat down next to her on the edge of the bed.

"A-Amara, I'm so glad you are awake," he managed to say, he tried to smile but couldn't. They had both lost so much, he could tell by her eyes that she knew. Amara regarded him with those captivating green eyes for a moment before her brow knitted in distress and she flung herself forward and wrapped her arms around him. Startled, Alistair was unsure what to do as she grabbed his shirt and buried her face in his chest, her hot tears seeping through his simple linen shirt.

"Oh Alistair! Flemeth told me… they are gone… Aedan... Will… all of them… gone," she sobbed into his shirt. Alistair awkwardly wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried. Her grief rekindled his own and he felt hot tears roll down his cheeks. He found himself pulling her tighter against him as he desperately took what comfort he could from their embrace. Just the feel of her in his arms brought him peace, for the first time in days Alistair didn't feel alone. He had Amara and that was more than he could have ever hoped for.

Alistair didn't know how long they sat there as their grief ran its course. He did notice the witch and her daughter had left them alone and for that he was thankful. Amara had stopped crying a while ago, she rested he head against his chest, his shirt still balled up in her fist. He didn't mind... he just sat there holding her, one hand gently rubbing her back, it seemed to bring her comfort so he didn't stop.

"What are we going to do now?" she asked, her voice was hoarse from crying. Alistair shook his head. He had no idea, what could they really do against the Blight?

"I don't know… I haven't gotten past the part where you wake up honestly." Alistair said. It was true, he had not thought of what to do next. He was not a planner or a great strategist, he was just Alistair… former stable boy, almost Templar and now one of the last two Grey Wardens in Ferelden. "We should find others… we cannot do this alone. Maybe Jader? That would be the closet city that has a Warden outpost or go to Denerim… maybe try to find the remnants of the army… I don't know. I just know we can't stay here." Amara nodded. She pulled away sitting back in the bed, Alistair felt her loss immediately. It had been so nice to just have contact with another person…especially her. Amara looked at his wrinkled and damp shirt and she covered her mouth in embarrassment.

"Oh! I've made a mess of your shirt! I'm so sorry," she said as she tried to press out the wrinkles with her hand. Comforting her was one thing, but her hand rubbing his chest was quite another. Alistair felt a flush start at his neck and quickly work its way up to his face. He reached up and grabbed her hand, pulling it down to the bed and patting the back of it.

"That's ok… you know me… always happy to help, even if it's just to be a handkerchief," he gave her one of his joking smiles… the one he used to cover up what he was really feeling. "Its fine, truly… we both needed that time to let out some of the grief." He stood up quickly from the bed and looked around the cottage for Flemeth and her daughter. "Right… well I imagine you are tired of being in bed and you are probably hungry. I'm going to go find Flemeth," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck as he turned to leave.

"Alistair…" she called after him. He turned to look at her… Maker! She was even lovely with her puffy eyes and red nose, he thought. "Thank you… for everything." He gave her a soft smile and nodded, he left the cottage and took a deep calming breath before setting out to find the witch and her daughter.

-O-

They sat at the table, Morrigan had finished clearing the dishes and had brought tea for everyone. Alistair felt awkward sitting at the small table, his knees kept bumping the table and the chair felt entirely too small. He tried not to shift around, but the chair was uncomfortable, he knee bumped into Amara's again.

"Sorry," he apologized again. Amara gave him a sympathetic smile. Maker, why did she have to sit close and why did this chair have to be so blasted small? Alistair had been flustered ever since the whole chest rubbing incident earlier.

"Sit still boy before I freeze you in place," muttered Flemeth. Alistair swallowed hard and quit moving, he knew she'd carry out her threat. "There are many things we need to discuss tonight. This is a Blight, there is no point denying that. There are also political games going on that prevented all of the troops from showing up for battle at Ostagar." Flemeth paused taking a sip of her tea. "There is a matter more pressing than either of those right now." The older woman fixed her eyes on at Amara. Alistair was confused, what could be more important than either of those? "We need to talk about Miel, I know you spent the last six days with him…," she said simply. Alistair watched as the color drained from Amara's face. Miel… he thought he had heard that name before… but where? His eyes widened and he looked at Amara, he remembered that she screamed it when Will pulled her from the Fade. Alistair shuddered at the memory of that night and the state that Amara was in when he went to get Will and Aedan. "Do you know what he is girl?" asked Flemeth. Amara looked down at her hands, she seemed nervous as she shifted in her chair under Flemeth's hard eyes.

"He… he's a god," she said softly. Alistair felt the hair stand on the back of his neck. His eyes widen at the implications, he looked at Amara but she was keeping her eyes on her hands. He had heard of demons and spirits in the Fade but never gods. The Chantry doesn't make a distinction between demon and god… maybe that was why he never heard of them. Still… one was finding her in the Fade and why? He started to get worried when he remembered how she reacted to being pulled from the Fade… was it trying to possess her?

"Do you know which one?" Flemeth pressed. Amara shook her head.

"There are a lot of old gods… I never asked." She looked up at Flemeth. "I meant to but it never seemed important. He won't harm me… if that's what you are worried about. Miel is not like that… Anyway, I don't see where this is any of your business," she said curtly. All of Alistair's Templar training was buzzing in his head as she spoke… he couldn't believe Amara would trust something from the Fade. After seeing what Amara was capable of in Ostagar he felt the cold hand of fear wrap around his heart… if she turned into an abomination, what could even stop her?

"He is not who you think Amara," said Morrigan, her eyes were full of worry. Alistair was surprised by her concern, the woman has been nothing but a rude harpy since he woke up after the battle. If Morrigan was worried, this had to be bad.

"You don't know him Morrigan!" Amara snapped, startling both Alistair and Morrigan, there was venom in her tone.

"I don't need to know him Amara! I know what he is," countered Morrigan. "You know better than to trust anything from the Fade." Alistair had to agree with Morrigan on that.

"Miel would never hurt me… he cares for me… loves me. You don't understand! None of you understand…" she pushed her chair back and went to stand up. Flemeth grabbed her arm and pushed her back into the chair.

"Sit," was all she said but the command in her voice was enough to make Amara obey. She gave the woman a wary look and sat back down. Alistair was reeling… what just happened? Amara was glaring at all of them, this was not the Amara he had grown to know in Ostagar… the gentle kind soft spoken woman that healed the injured. This Amara was quite different… Alistair started to worry that something very bad had happened to her in the Fade… something was not right with her. Oh please Maker not an abomination, he silently prayed. He glanced at the door, he had left his sword outside… there was no way he could reach it in time if he needed it.

Flemeth fixed Amara with a piercing stare. "Morrigan is correct… he is not who you think he is. He has many names… Miel the Guardian of Minrathous, Urthemiel the Dragon of Beauty…"

"No!" Amara yelled, still Flemeth pressed on.

"The Beast, the Bane… the Archdemon." Alistair looked at Flemeth, his eyes wide in horror. "That is who he is girl!" Amara started sobbing, her wretched cries tore at him and he was helpless to do anything about it.

"You lie!" screamed Amara as she pushed back from the table knocking her chair over. "That is not him… you lie!" she wailed as she backed away from the table. Morrigan jumped up but Flemeth grabbed her daughters hand and shook her head. "You lie…" Amara collapsed to her knees, her arms wrapped around herself. "That's not my Miel…" her broken voice shook Alistair to his core.

"No child… I wouldn't lie about this, you know that to be true," the witch said sadly. Flemeth fixed her gaze on Alistair, she motioned towards Amara. In a heartbeat he was on his feet and in another he was kneeling down at her side. Amara was crumbling to the floor when Alistair scooped her up into his arms and stood. He glared back at the two women at the table and carried the crying woman back to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed, Amara immediately curled up on her side… her sobs shook her entire body. Alistair felt helpless as he gazed down on her shaking form in the bed. He didn't know what to do so he did the only thing he could think of... He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand in his and just held it. He wanted her to know that she wasn't alone regardless of everything that had just happened. Quietly he sat in the dimly light room just holding her hand. Amara held his hand tight until exhaustion overtook her and she fell into a fitful sleep.

-O-

Alistair was furious as he left the bedroom where Amara lay sleeping. He wanted answers and he wanted them now. He stomped back into the kitchen where the witch and her daughter sat.

"Would either of you like to explain to me what just happened? What is wrong with Amara?"

"Nothing a simpleton like you could comprehend," snapped Morrigan. Alistair glared at her, tired of her arrogant comments.

"Yeah? Try me," he said simply, his temper was still rising.

"Why would I waste my time? There is nothing you can do to help her Templar," Morrigan sneered.

"And you call this helping her? She is broken!" he yelled. "I don't see you doing anything but being the rude bitch that you are!"

"Enough! Both you," bellowed Flemeth. Alistair felt like he was just reprimanded by the Reverend Mother at the Denerim Chantry again, he looked down at the floor feeling suddenly ashamed. "He needs to know… he is going to have to protect her," said Flemeth. Morrigan held her tongue, she sneered at Alistair and sat back in her chair. Flemeth sighed and rubbed her brow. "Even with your limited Chantry teachings you are aware of the existence of the old gods correct?"

"Of course I know about the old gods… Grey Warden remember?" he said sarcastically. Morrigan threw her arms up in the air but one look from Flemeth stilled her tongue.

"The Tevinter's had their seven… the Dalish had their nine and then there is your rogue god the Maker. These gods had mates and children." Flemeth saw the surprise in his face and laughed. "Not in your Chantry's teaching boy?" Alistair's eyes hardened but he said nothing. Flemeth continued, "Not all of them… but enough did. Their mates were preordained from the time when the gods came into existence. Some gods had to wait until the circumstances were just right for their mates to be born… thousands of years…" Alistair felt sick, he looked towards the bedroom where Amara slept.

"She's not…" he started but the look he received from Flemeth was confirmation enough. Alistair shook his head, he didn't want to believe any of this; it was insane.

"Urthemiel was not supposed to be the Archdemon of the fifth Blight… that role was to be filled by Lusacan… the last Blight," she said sadly. "Fate was changed… denying Amara the destiny with Urthemiel that was foretold." Flemeth sighed and refilled her cup of tea. "Urthemiel is too powerful, the only other god that rivals his power was Dumat, the first Blight lasted almost 200 years and that's when Thedas was prospering and united under the Imperium. How do you think Thedas would fair today with it fractured into kingdoms that war over petty politics?" Alistair just shook his head, he was too stunned to say anything.

"Mother, did you ward the bedroom? She goes to him when she sleeps…" Morrigan asked. Flemeth gave her an exasperated look.

"Of course I did, she is in no state to see him… a confrontation might lead to him taking her and then all of this is over…"

"What do you mean?" Alistair asked sharply.

"Amara is vulnerable to him, she has not come to her true power yet. If he joins with her, his mind will overcome hers… she will be nothing more than a husk… a slave... He will control her and her magic and you saw firsthand how lethal her power can be." Flemeth's word hit him like a punch to the stomach. His fear of her becoming an abomination was overshadowed now by the very real threat of her becoming a slave of the Archdemon.

"How can he 'take' her in her sleep?" he asked.

"He is a man in his realm… how else does man take a woman fool?" Morrigan sneered. Alistair felt his cheeks redden then a wave of nausea hit him… Oh Maker, not that, he was sickened by the very thought.

"Urthemiel can't get to her in her sleep if she has a champion… if she bonds with the champion then Urthemiel cannot touch her mind. He can find her in the Fade but he will not have any power over her," Flemeth said.

"But Aedan… he died at Ostagar, she doesn't have a champion. Can you just put up wards every time she sleeps?" Flemeth shook her head.

"No, it only works for a short time, he will find a way around it… no, what she needs is a new champion," Flemeth said. Alistair knew at that moment he would do it… he would be her champion and protect her from the Archdemon.

"I will do it… I will be her champion," he said firmly. Flemeth gave him a pleased look, Morrigan just rolled her eyes and scowled.

"No Alistair… you won't," said Amara from the bedroom doorway.

-O-

**Amara**

Amara woke as soon as he pulled his hand away but she didn't move. She let Alistair think she was sleeping, she didn't want to talk about Miel, she thought it best to pretend. Amara laid there in the dark room and listened to the sound of arguing from the kitchen. Maybe she should get up, tell them to she was ok? But she didn't want to, all she wanted to do was talk to Miel but now that she knew who he was… how could she? The sweet dream that had formed in her mind since the first moment his lips touched her has been shattered. If they only knew how that felt… for a brief time she truly experienced bliss and it was ripped away from her. Everything was taken away from her… her mother, Aedan…now Miel.

Aedan… he was a memory now. A brief sweet memory… perhaps it's best he died at Ostagar… save him the pain of knowing how she nearly gave herself to the Archdemon. She thought that she truly loved Aedan… but one touch, one kiss from Miel had made that disappear. Amara listed to Flemeth tell Alistair about the old gods. She felt like such a fool… Miel… Urthemiel… why didn't she see it before? He didn't exactly lie about who he was, she just chose not to make the connection. Then she heard it… his mate… she was supposed to be with him. Silent tears escaped her eyes as she listened to Flemeth tell Alistair what her destiny was supposed to be. Another thing taken from her… her heart ached over what could have been. They could have been so happy… it could never be now. Flemeth was right, if she went back to his realm the risk he would take her and make her his slave was too great. She couldn't resist him… she would drown in him… she could never go back there.

Everything had been decided for them… there was no chance for them. The past six days were but one sweet taste of what could have been. Amara started to feel despair… over what she had lost, over what it would be like living knowing what could have been and despair over what would happen if she submitted to him. The memory of the night her magic first marked Aedan came rushing back… she asked Duncan to kill her then… oh how she wished he had. The stupid man wanted his weapon… he got it. Amara almost felt like laughing about the irony… the Grey Warden secret weapon, the uncontrollable mage is now a weapon that could be used by the Archdemon to destroy them all… the stupid man should have killed me when he had the chance, she thought.

When she heard Alistair volunteer himself to be her champion she knew she could lie in bed no longer. Amara quickly got to her feet and rushed to the door, her head started to throb in pain.

"No Alistair… you won't," she said as she leaned against the doorway for support. Her vision started to blur as she looked at them seated at the table. "No champions…" She felt her knees start to give out, before she fell to the floor Alistair was there lifting her back up. It confused her how someone so big could move so quickly. He carried her to the table and gently sat her in the chair, Flemeth was at her side with her hands pressed on her forehead before she react.

"He's calling her… he must have sensed her pain." Flemeth muttered under her breath and the pain started to recede. "I've warded the area this chair is in…"

"Why not the whole house?" asked Morrigan as she handed Amara cup of water.

"The ward has to be precise and small… even I am not powerful to ward a large area from a god!" Flemeth sat back in her chair, she looked tired. "This is why you need a champion… he doesn't need sleep to get to you." Amara shook her head.

"I can't do it… the bond, it manipulates… it makes you feel…" Flemeth gave her an irritated look.

"That's not how it works girl, it doesn't make you feel things that were not there already. It may make those feelings stronger but it doesn't just create things. You have to have a champion or you will be lost… Urthemiel will take you."

"Not if I'm dead," Amara said as she met the witch's eyes. Flemeth gave her a surprised look.

"You are not serious? Right?" asked a worried Alistair. Amara gave him a deadpan glance. "You are serious… No! Absolutely not. I can't do this on my own Amara… I need you."

"The Templar is correct, your death will not solve this… Urthemiel is already the Archdemon. Without your aid this battle will consume all of Thedas," said Flemeth in a dark voice, clearly angry over her suggestion.

"I can't believe you are seriously thinking of taking your own life Amara! How could you think of such a selfish thing?" blurted Morrigan, the pain in her eyes made Amara look away.

"How can I not think about it? How can you expect me to go on knowing what I've lost? And if I can't resist Miel? If I was dead he couldn't use me. The Grey Wardens have defeated the Blight before…" hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked at them. "If I fail everything is lost. Don't you see? This will be for the best."

"Your death is not an option," said Flemeth. "You need to face Urthemiel and defeat him." Amara shook her head.

"He is my mate… how can you ask me to kill him?" she asked as she wiped her eyes.

"You do your duty Warden," said Alistair, his face was uncharacteristically cold. "You took an oath, now honor it. A Warden stops the Blight at all costs!" Amara was taken aback by the command in his voice… he was right, she looked away feeling ashamed. "How do I become her champion?" he asked Flemeth.

"She has to do it, her magic will mark you," said Flemeth, her eyebrow raised as she looked at them.

"I don't know how it happened the first time… it just happened," Amara said. She looked at Alistair, "Please, you don't want this…"

"I don't want to be the last Grey Warden in Ferelden," he muttered. He looked to Flemeth, "Can you help her?"

"Perhaps… join hands," she commanded. Amara sat there as Alistair pulled his chair next to hers and held out his hands to her. Amara went to plead with him again but as soon as her eyes met his she knew his mind was set. She tentatively placed her hands on his and was surprised when she felt her magic stir. Flemeth came over and held her hand over their joined hands, her eyes were closed as she muttered under her breath. Amara felt her magic start to build and keep building. Her eyes locked on Alistair's and she felt her hands grip his As if a damn broke open inside of her, the magic burst from her hands and started to flow into Alistair. His eyes widened as the magic poured into him, pain shot through his body as it started to change him. Amara watched as his eyes started to glow green and his body started to tremble before he threw his head back and screamed. She tried to break the connection but couldn't, she looked frantically at Flemeth. The witch shook her head and stared at their joined hands.

"Not yet… or we will have to do this again," she said sharply. Amara felt her palms start to burn, she could see a bright green glow between their joined hands… the burning was getting worse. She looked up at Alistair, his eyes were shut tight; a painful grimace marred his normal carefree handsome face. She never wanted to hurt him, why did he have to be such a courageous fool? Pain shot up her arms as the burning peaked, she felt herself thrown back and her chair almost tip over when her magic recoiled back into her. Amara checked her hands, they were normal… no marks. She thought for sure that a rune was being burned into hand as well. Alistair groaned from his chair, Amara jumped up and rushed to his side.

"Alistair are you alright," she asked as she knelt down at his side. Her hands started to glow blue as she summoned her magic to heal him. Amara placed a hand on his head and his chest and let her magic gently heal him. She closed her eyes as her magic probed and healed, her heart speeding up as her magic rippled through his body. Amara had noticed how handsome he was, she was not blind… she just never allowed herself to go beyond the acknowledgment. Now she was painfully aware of everything about him, there was just something incredibly intimate with how her magic reacted to him now. Alistair's calloused hand gently covered hers and pressed it tight against his chest. Amara's eyes snapped open to stare into Alistair's hazel eyes, a warmth spread through her at what she saw. She gasped and quickly pulled her hand away and stood up.

"Show me your hands Templar," commanded Flemeth. Amara backed away as Alistair flipped his hands over to show two very detailed shimmering green runes. They were in a more complicated pattern than the ones Aedan had. Flemeth tried to break the bond several times before she gave Amara a satisfied look.

"This will do… a lot stronger than the last," she said. Amara knew she should feel relieved but she wasn't. The way Alistair had looked at her reminded her so much of how Aedan use to look at her. She promised herself she wouldn't make the same mistake with Alistair that she did with Aedan… no more rushing into anything. She had a better understanding of the bond now, she was not going to fall prey to its side effects like before.

"So it will protect her from Urthemiel?" Alistair asked. Flemeth nodded.

"Yes, this bond cannot be broken by anyone but Amara." She got up and went to a chest near the door and pulled out a canvas bag and brought it back to the table. "Now that you are bonded we need to talk about what to do next…" Flemeth dumped the contents of the bag on the table, the tightly rolled scrolls fell out and rolled across the surface.

"The treaties! How?" Amara asked as she picked one up off the table to examine it.

"I've kept these treaties for many years, do you think I'd just leave them on a corpse in Ostagar?" Flemeth asked curtly. "You are going to need allies against the darkspawn… You will need to use these to gather forces to fight the Blight."

"Where should we go first?" asked Alistair. He picked up one of the scrolls. "The dwarves seems like a good place to start."

"No," Flemeth said harshly. "Do not take her anywhere near the Deep Roads… it won't matter if she has a champion or not, he will be able to sense her." Alistair shook his head.

"Ok no dwarves, then where?" Amara picked up the scroll to the Circle of Magi and handed it to Alistair. "This works," he said with a smile. "Feeling homesick?" Amara gave him a small smile.

"Maybe a little…" she admitted.

"Ok the Circle it is," he said. "We can leave in a couple days."

"You will be leaving in the morning and Morrigan will be joining you," Flemeth announced.

"Do I get a say?" asked Morrigan, she was obviously not happy with her mother's plans.

"No, you don't. You can't spend the Blight here… Amara needs your help and I need to leave. There is something going on in the north… I need to find out what," she walked towards her room. "I suggest all of you get some sleep… it's a long walk out of the Wilds," she said before closing the door.

-O-


	21. Chapter 21 - A Liability

**Authors Note: **My version of Fergus reminds me of one of my brothers. I can see my brothers doing something similar to Fergus/Aedan to 'help' each other through something. In this chapter you can start to see which group/story line that characters are going to fall in as we progress. I try to pick through Dragon Age wiki and find underutilized characters that had small parts or were killed off in the game to fill support character roles.

-O-

**Chapter 21 – A Liability**

**Fergus**

It took them well over a week but they finally made it to the southern shore of Lake Calenhad. Fergus was exhausted, they have not been able to rest more than a few hours a night before they were back to walking… the threat was too great to camp longer. Now with the lake providing some protection they could take a break before pressing on to Redcliffe. Fergus watched the long line of soldiers and refugees approach from the south-east… what was left of Ostagar forces. A few hundred able to still fight and two hundred wounded… maybe more. Not enough mages to heal them… Will and Wynne tried their best but there wasn't enough lyrium to heal them all. They took care of the worse cases first, the rest were healed when there was mana.

Fergus waited by the shore until he saw the rear patrol come into view. His brother's patrol… he could see Ser Landry's blond hair from where he stood. The other two men behind him could only be Aedan and Ser Henric a Templar they picked up a few days ago. He started to walk towards them, dodging in and out of the crowd that was forming at the lakes edge. He was almost to them when a head of white hair secured tightly in a bun appeared before him. Fergus groan inwardly at the scowling woman standing before him.

"Do you mean to camp here or drag us further up the shore?" she asked curtly. Fergus plastered his face with a charming nobleman's smile.

"Well since you asked so nicely Wynne I suppose we can stay here a couple nights." The old woman's eyes narrowed at him. Fergus smiled back, it was like some type of twisted stand-off to see who would cross the line of civility.

"Hrmph," she said before spinning on her heal and marching back to the area near the lake that was rapidly filling with injured. Fergus shook his head, the old bat liked to try and push his buttons when she had the chance. If she wasn't such a good Spirit Healer he would have left her back in the Wilds. Fergus approached the small group of men that were standing at the edge of their makeshift camp. Landry saw him approach and bowed.

"My Lord Cousland, there were no darkspawn sightings since the last report." Fergus had to sigh, he didn't know how many times he asked him to call him by his given name.

"My father was Lord Cousland… just Fergus please." He looked at his brother, he wore that same deadpan expression he has worn since that night. He knew he was hurting… to see Amara die like that was just horrific. In a way he counted himself lucky that he did not have to witness anything to do with Oriana and Oren's deaths… he imagined if he did, he would be fairing no better than Aedan. "Aedan, you need to go see Will about that cut on your face… it looks infected." Aedan gave him a vacant look.

"I'm fine," was all he said. Fergus sighed.

"Maybe I don't want my brother to look any uglier? Go get it taken care of… consider it an order." Aedan turned without saying anything and left for the area where the wounded were gathering. Fergus gave the two men before him a hard look. "Was he any worse on patrol?" Henric shook his head.

"More of the same… he doesn't say much unless directly asked. He didn't do anything rash… like the other night," Henric said watched Aedan disappear into the crowd. "If I may speak freely…" Fergus nodded at him. "I worry that he no longer wishes to live, that is a liability for those of us on his patrol." And there it is… thought Fergus. The men were growing uneasy with his brother's melancholy. They see it too… Fergus looked to Landry.

"Is this your assessment as well?" he asked the more experience soldier. Landry gave him an uncomfortable look.

"Aye m… Fergus, the boy lacks the will to live. I've seen it before… he's just waiting for the opportunity and he'll take it. May I ask what put him in this state?"

"He watched the Archdemon burn the love of his life alive… the Lady Amara was in Ishal when it was attacked," said Fergus, his voice was heavy as he remembered how she tried to save them only to be killed.

"Lady Amara? From the Circle?" asked Henric.

"Yes… you knew her?" asked Fergus as he watched the Templar's face fall when he confirmed it was her.

"Yes… Oh Maker! She was so beautiful and kind… one of the few mages that was actually nice to the Templars at the Tower. She healed my arm once after a training accident… We use to play Wicked Grace with her… me, Bran and Cullen. Oh no… Cullen is going to be devastated… he was in love with her for the longest time." Fergus was shocked to hear such emotion in the man's voice. "She was with your brother?" Fergus nodded.

"They were recruited by the Grey Wardens… they fell in love on their journey to Ostagar."

"That explains a lot… I can see why your brother is like he is…" Henric said sadly. "Please excuse me, I have a letter to write," his voice was heavy with sorrow as he bowed his head to Fergus before heading into camp.

"I've never seen a Templar upset about the passing of a mage before," noted Landry as he watched Henric go.

"Then you never met the Lady Amara… we all owe her our lives and admiration. If it wasn't for her, none of us would have survived." Fergus saw the confused look on Ser Landry. "She was the mage that sent the lightning…" Recognition filled Landry's eyes at last.

"So it wasn't Andraste?" Fergus shook his head. "I knew that wasn't true but I thought it was all the Tower mages together that brought the lightning down… to hear it was just one girl… well that is both astonishing and frightening at the same time."

"Again if you would of have met her, the word frightening wouldn't come to mind. If you'll excuse me Ser, I'm going to check on my brother… And thank you for your candor." Ser Landry nodded and took his leave. Fergus sighed and started walking towards where he last saw his brother. Oh Aedan, how am I going to keep you alive in the middle of a war when all you want to do is join her… he thought as walked through the crowd of survivors.

-O-

"Well?" he asked Will. The tired mage shook his head.

"He has a scar now. If he would have come to me sooner…" Both men watched Aedan as he sat next to the lake, his back turned towards them. "He's worse… I'm sorry Fergus," Will said sadly. "I can't heal his spirit." Fergus nodded. He stood there watching Will work on his patient, the unconscious Grey Warden Riordan. They had found two men carrying him shortly after they left Ostagar. Riordan had taken a nasty blow to the head, they were not certain if he would survive the journey to the lake.

"He looks better," commented Fergus. It was true, he had some color today. Will nodded.

"I think he will wake up soon… I'm hopeful anyway, we need all the Grey Wardens we can get." As he watched Will work, a plan started to take shape in his mind.

"Do you have any draughts… salves?" he asked Will. "What about that ward… the one you did at Ostagar? Can you put that on me?" Will gave him a confused look before reaching into the small bag at his waist.

"Why do you need them? Do I even want to know?" asked Will as he pulled out a stamina draught and handed it to Fergus. "This is all I have left…"

"It will have to do… how about the ward?" Will shook his head and cast a Lifeward on Fergus. "How long?"

"Maybe thirty minutes… what are you doing?" he asked as Fergus started to walk towards the lake. He gave Will a cocky smile.

"I have an idea… just do me a favor and keep people away from the trees over there," as he pointed towards the forest edge. "And be ready to heal us…" Will shook his head as he watched Fergus walk to where his brother sat next to the lake.

He downed the potion and tossed the bottle aside as he approached Aedan. Fergus hoped this would work, it was the only idea he had left.

"Aedan… take a walk with me," he said as he stood next to his brother. Aedan raised his hollow eyes up, Fergus had to suppress a visible cringe. He has never seen his brother look like that, he really hoped this would work.

"I'd rather stay here…" he said simply before turning his gaze back out to the lake. Fergus sighed.

"Humor me… let's go," he said as he nudged him with his boot. Aedan listlessly stood and followed him to the tree line. As soon as they were a few steps into the woods, Fergus turned around and punched Aedan square in the face breaking his nose. Aedan cried out in pain and shock, he doubled over with his hands covering his nose… blood ran out from between his fingers.

"Why?!" he exclaimed as he dropped his hands and looked at his brother. Fergus punched him again, this time in his left eye, sending him reeling to the side.

"Because I want you to feel… that's why," Fergus yelled at him as he started to circle his brother. Aedan just stood there, he made no move to fight back.

"I'm not going to fight you Fergus," Aedan said with his head bowed. Fergus kept circling him, assessing his weaknesses.

"So what… you are just going to stand there and let me beat you to death? Is this what it's come to? You want to be put out of your misery is that it?" Fergus walked up and punched him in the stomach this time causing Aedan to double over. "Pathetic," he sneered. "It's a good thing Father is dead so he wouldn't have to see this."

"Leave Father out of this…" said Aedan as he gulped for breath, his arms wrapped around his stomach.

"Oh? Leave him out you say? I don't think so… because Father would be disgusted by the very sight of you. And you think Mother would be pleased to know her life was forfeited so her son could just give up?" Fergus narrowed his eyes as he looked at his brother who was still doubled over and shaking. "And how do you think Amara would feel knowing that she saved you for nothing." Fergus spat. The look Aedan gave him was full of rage yet he did not react. "Oh have I hit a nerve little brother? She knew which side of the field you were on… she attacked the darkspawn there first. She could have fled the tower… she had time but she didn't… Amara tried to help you. A lot of good it did her…" Aedan screamed in rage and charged at his brother, the stamina draught gave Fergus enough of an advantage to jump clear before he was tackled. Aedan crashed into the tree that was behind Fergus and collapsed onto the ground, he pulled himself up only to fall back to the ground.

"Just… go," Aedan said as voice broke. "Leave me! Or so help me Fergus…"

"So help you what? You are barely fit for battle… How would Father feel to know your men see you as a liability… afraid you'll do yourself in and take them with you… you're a damn disgrace to the Cousland name! It makes me sick to see what you have become… Where's the man? Was he ever there? Or are you still that worthless weak little boy? Poor little Aedan!" Fergus taunted.

"Shut up!" yelled Aedan.

"Poor little Aedan lost his woman…"

"Shut up!" Aedan screamed.

"Maybe it's best she's gone… now she can't see how pathetic you truly are…" Fergus said with disdain as he turned to leave. He didn't make it far before Aedan was on him knocking him to the ground, his fists swinging.

"I told you to shut up! Maker damn you!" Aedan yelled as he punched him in the side. "Just shut up!" he said landing another blow. Fergus managed to bring his fist up and slam Aedan in the side of the head knocking him off of him.

"You want me to shut up? You're going to have to make me little brother," Fergus yelled as he caught Aedan in the side with a kick. "I'm done being quiet…" He went to kick him again but Aedan grabbed his foot and pulled him towards him, landing a punch in Fergus' abdomen. Fergus rolled on his side in pain only to be hit again, this time in his low back.

"I don't want to live without her!" Aedan cried as he raised his arm to strike his brother again but was knocked back as Fergus brought his knee up into Aedan's stomach. Fergus brought his fist down on the side of Aedan's face before falling back on the ground panting. He pulled himself up and glared at his brother as he moaned in pain in the grass.

"Do you think I want to live without Oriana? Without Oren? You think your loss is greater than mine?" he yelled as he kicked him in the side, "Do you?" Fergus wiped the blood from a small cut on his brow from his eye. "This is bigger than what we've lost… can't you see that? I need you brother. I can't do this on my own." Aedan groaned as he tried to sit up, his arm wrapped tight around his ribs.

"How do I get through the days when all I see when I close my eyes is her face? How do I forget her?" he said hoarsely as he finally managed to sit up. Fergus gave him a sad look.

"You don't forget her. And every time that you see her face when you close your eyes you savor it, memorize it as best as you can… because after a while you won't be able to remember the details," he said quietly, his eyes full of pain. They both sat there quietly, neither speaking… there was nothing either could say to ease the others pain. The sounds of camp were filtering through the trees along with the faint smell of cooking meat. They should head back soon, Fergus thought.

"Are we done hitting each other?" asked Aedan. "I think you cracked some of my ribs…" Fergus tried to smile but it just turned into a painful grimace.

"Depends… Are you with me brother?" Fergus asked.

"Yes… I'm sorry Fergus." Fergus shook his head. There was no need for Aedan to be sorry, his grief just got away from him… it happens to all of us. His mind wandered back to the empty bottles littering the floor in his tent at Ostagar.

"Don't worry about it… Come on," he said as he stood up painfully. "Let's go have Will heal us up… I'm pretty sure I broke your nose and maybe my hand." Fergus reached his good hand out to his brother and pulled him up off the ground. Aedan grabbed his ribs and grunted with pain when he tried to straighten up. "Can you walk?" Aedan nodded and they both started the slow pain filled walk back to the camp.

"You hit harder than I remember…" muttered Aedan as he wearily followed his brother out of the woods. He paused for a moment to wipe the blood from his swollen lip.

"Stamina draught…" he said as they broke the tree line. "Gave me the energy…" They were met with shocked looks and gasps as they entered the camp. Their bloody and bruised appearance drawing attention from several bystanders.

"Figures… you never did fight fair. Just like that one time we were sparring after Father's birthday… do you remember? You neglected to tell me about the enchanted blade you and Rory found." Fergus laughed.

"It was barely enchanted… you were just mad because you lost horribly in front of that girl… what was her name? Emma? Ela?"

"Elaine…"

"Right… what ever happened to her?" asked Fergus.

"Married one of the Stuart boys the last I heard…"

"What in Makers name have you done?" a shrill voice asked from the crowd that was slowly gathering around them. Wynne pushed her way through and stood in front of them with her arms folded. "What is this?" she waved her hand at them. There was just something about that woman's voice that set his teeth on edge.

"We fell," Fergus blurted. He saw Aedan's amused look and shrugged at him. It was the first thing that came to his mind. Wynne's face turned a very unflattering shade of red.

"Fell? FELL?!" she bellowed. Fergus couldn't help but flinch.

"Several times?" Aedan offered. Fergus couldn't help but grin… it was good to have his brother back. The red in Wynne's face deepened a shade as she stood there gaping at them. Will maneuvered his way through the crowd and shook his head at them.

"Wynne, its ok… I've got this. Can you check on Riordan? I think he might wake soon," he said as he guided the flustered woman towards the cot where the fallen Warden lay. When he returned he had a humorous smirk on his face.

"I think that is the first time I've ever seen Wynne speechless. Amara would have loved it," he said without thinking. He gave Aedan an apologetic look, "I'm sorry…"

"No… no, it's ok," Aedan said with a sad smile. "Hiding from the fact that she's gone by not talking about her is not going to make it any easier." Will nodded.

"No it isn't… she wouldn't want us to just pretend she didn't exist… she touched too many lives. Besides… I've always found talking helps… then you remember the fond memories more," Will said sadly, he motioned them to sit. "Let's get you too healed before any permanent damage is done."

Will made quick work of Fergus' wounds, he did fracture his hand. It was going to take a couple days for the bones to completely mend. Aedan was in worse shape with several cracked ribs. Will shook his head in dismay after surveying the damage he had done to his brother.

"What? Sometimes it takes a lot to beat some sense into him," he said to Will as he used a damp cloth to wipe the blood off his skin.

"Apparently… get comfortable Aedan, this is going to take a while." Will's hand started to glow as he placed it on Aedan's side with the cracked ribs. Fergus watched his brother wince in pain and felt a small pang of guilt, he quickly pushed it away knowing that if he had done nothing he would have lost his brother to his grief.

"Will… can you tell me why Amara and Wynne didn't get along?" he heard his brother ask the mage. He was surprised by this.

"That is a long story!" said Will.

"You said this would take a while…" Aedan noted.

"That it will… Well let's see… it all started the day when Amara arrived at the Tower…" Will began. Fergus looked on and found himself smiling in relief. It was a good start… if he could talk about her then Fergus knew his brother would find peace.

-O-


	22. Chapter 22 Of bonds and rabbit stew

**Authors Note: **Sorry it took a bit longer than expected, this chapter had a mind of its own. In the next chapter we will be in Lothering and the one after that in Redcliffe. Got a few more people to pick up before we get to the treaties. Please review, I enjoy the feedback! And thanks again for reading.

-O-

**Chapter 22 – ****Of bonds and rabbit stew…**

_The Light removes the darkness,_

_A shadow will never return:_

_The Green Dales Prophecy, Rev 5 (8 – 10)_

**Amara**

Amara sat on the gravel edge of the small pond near their campsite. This was probably her last chance to bathe until they reached Lothering. She ran her comb through her long damp auburn hair, the color and texture were so different than before… Amara didn't know if she loved it or hated it. Why did he have to change me? There were other differences, her skin was more pale and softer, lips were a deep red and more full, and her eyes were a brighter green, her lashes were longer. Other changes that bothered her were that her hips were a bit rounder and her breasts were larger, her clothes were snug in places she wished they weren't. Miel's idea of what she should look like was now her reality. A concept of beauty that was foreign to her and so was the stranger that stared back at her from the reflection in the water. Why did he have to change me? Amara frowned at her reflection… would Aedan even recognize her now if he saw her? Sadness threatened to overwhelm her as Amara thought of him, he had been on her mind almost constantly since they left Flemeth's cottage two days ago. The last time she had been traveling on foot like this was with him and Duncan just a few short weeks ago. Amara sighed and took out a small bottle of oil, she poured some into her hand and proceeded to rub it into her hair.

Her mind kept drifting back to Aedan, she couldn't help it… ever since she bonded with Alistair; her thoughts were with her first real love. Now that Miel was blocked out she was not influenced by him, she no longer felt the unbearable desire she had for him. Instead she felt the very real, very raw loss of Aedan… it was always there, the feeling she was missing something but could never find it. Like a ghost, it haunted her… always there, a shadow. It had her questioning everything that happened with Miel… how much of that was really her? If she met Miel now that he had no power over her would she even give him a second glance? Amara could not deny that she missed his touch and the few wonderful days they spent together… but was it even real? She hated this… not knowing what she truly felt.

After running her comb through her oiled hair she started the task of braiding it. Just a simple braid that she would later tie up into a bun, nothing fancy… just practical. She smiled ruefully when she thought about her pampered days in the Circle with the impractical hair styles and frequent baths… she didn't know how good she had it. The whispering of the trees drew her out of her memories, there was someone coming… _champion_… The tree's liked to talk in symbols and ambiguity… champion, monster, ally, they were never very specific. Amara sighed and grabbed her robe and pulled it over her head. Alistair was taking the job of being her champion very seriously… perhaps too seriously. He has been hovering around her since they left Flemeth's door step. It was sweet yet exasperating to have this big man following her around… always right there, never more than a few paces away.

"I told you I would be fine Alistair," she said without turning, trying hard to keep the annoyance out of her voice. The pond was just a couple hundred yards from the camp, not the other side of the mountain… if anything happened she could just yell. Amara heard him stop walking from behind her. He seemed to hesitate at her words before picking up his pace again, he stopped at her side.

"You were gone for a long time… I just wanted to make sure you were ok," he said sheepishly. Amara signed as she put back on her stockings and boots.

"Alistair… I'm only a short distance from camp and in a pinch I can pull lightning out of the sky and throw it at someone… I think I'm pretty safe," Amara said as she stood up and smoothed the front of her robe. "Being my champion doesn't mean you have to be my nanny." Amara knelt down to pick up her belongings.

"I just know how important it is to keep you safe… here, let me help," he said as he bent down to help her pick up her things. He looked at the small brown vials with a confused look on his face. "What are these?" he asked.

"Oils… for my hair," Amara said as she placed them back in her bag. He picked up another vial and pulled out the cork to smell it, wincing her put the cork back in the vial. Amara couldn't help but smile as she snatched the vial from his hand.

"What was that one for?" his nose crinkled up in disgust.

"My feet… so I don't get blisters or fungus," she said as she shoved the vial back in the bag. He picked up a small clay jar.

"I'm almost afraid to ask…this?" he held it up to her.

"For dry skin…" she felt her cheeks start to turn pink. Alistair grinned at her embarrassment.

"Why do women need so much stuff? Won't just a bar of soap work?" he asked as he handed her the jar.

"No… I don't know, we just do," she said as she stuffed the last of her things in her bag. Her cheeks were a darker shade than pink now.

"I would have made a terrible woman, there is no way I could keep all the vials and jars straight," he said as he helped her to her feet. Amara found herself giggling at the thought of Alistair being a woman. "Oh, I see… well at least I know how to make you laugh, unfortunately it involves me in a dress." Amara found herself laughing, it seemed strange to do so after so long. Alistair smiled at her and held out his arm to her. "Let me walk you back to camp… I'm sure Morrigan is waiting and has a dozen insults well-rehearsed for tonight." Amara smiled and wrapped her arm around his, they started walking towards camp. She laughed as Alistair told her a story about his childhood in Redcliffe as they walked over the small field between the pond and camp, her heart felt a little lighter than it did before.

-O-

"There are two people not far from here… a man and a woman, an elf," Amara said, as she focused to make out what the trees were whispering about. "One is wounded…" This was the first time since they left Flemeth's that they have come across any living people.

"And how do you know this?" asked Alistair, he was staring at her as if she was crazy again. She had tried several times in the past few days to explain to Alistair how her magic was different but he just could not get past his Chantry teachings… a part of him still thought she brought the lightning down at Ostagar through a spell.

"The trees… they say they are over that way," she pointed to the northwest from where they stood. Morrigan gave her a serious look.

"Are you sure?" Amara nodded. "I will scout it out…" Morrigan's body shimmered, it was quickly engulfed in a golden light, in a flash of bright light where Morrigan stood was now a grey wolf. The wolf growled at Alistair before running off into the forest.

"I think I like her better as a dog," muttered Alistair. Amara rolled her eyes before taking a seat on a nearby rock. "So… the trees, they talk to you?" he asked as he sat near her on the ground.

"Not really talking to me, I mainly hear them talking to each other… they are always talking. It use to give me a headache but I have learned to ignore it most of the time," she said as she looked up at the trees. "I told you… my magic is different." Alistair stared at her for a moment before giving her an amused smirk.

"So that's why I can't sneak up on you… makes sense now, good to know I'm not losing my sneaking skills," he said with a grin. Amara raised an eyebrow at him, her lips forming a slight smile.

"You rattle far too much to have sneaking skills…" she noted with a grin. Alistair did his best to look wounded.

"My sneaking skills are top-notch thank you very much! In fact they are so good you haven't noticed them… they are just that good," he said with feigned serious tone. Amara purposely let her smile fall and gave him a hard look.

"So… do you use these skills to sneak up on women often?" she said with a serious look on her face, trying hard to keep her lips from curling into a smile. When he realized what she asked Amara watched the color drain from Alistair's face, it was quickly replaced by a burning red color that covered even his ears.

"I would never! I have not… I was just joking…" he sputtered as he tried to explain himself. No longer able to conceal her mirth, Amara broke out in a fit of laughter. "Ooh ha ha… thanks for making me feel like a complete deviant." Alistair's sullen expression just made her laugh harder, not since the Circle had she laughed as hard. Alistair couldn't help but smile. "It is good to know that my discomfort amuses you so."

"You have to admit, you walked right into that one…" Amara chuckled as she worked to regain her composure.

"I will have to be more careful in the future so I do not fall prey to your wit my dear lady," he said with a mocking bow. Amara shook her head and giggled, Alistair had a way of making her laugh. It reminded her of the times with Will and Anders in the Circle… they were always joking and pulling pranks on each other, many times they would drag her into their games. Amara found herself smiling fondly at the memories of her two best friends. She remembered how mad Greagoir would get at them, threatening tranquility on a nearly weekly basis. The smile fell from her face with the realization that her friends were gone, Will lost at Ostagar and Anders was probably dead from a Templar blade… it hit her hard. She really didn't have anyone left, not anyone close anyway. There was Morrigan but she kept herself guarded, aloof… she was so different from the mischievous little girl that use to steal cookies from Flemeth's pantry. Alistair was friendly towards her but he was not a true friend, not yet. The way he looked at her sometimes bothered her, the longing in his eyes… it gave her shivers. She knew it was just the bond feeding on some misguided feeling he had towards her. If she did not return those feelings then nothing would happen.

"Hey, copper for your thoughts," Alistair asked, his voice full of concern at her sudden sorrowful expression.

"I was just thinking about Will and my friend Anders, from the Circle… Joking around with you made me remember some of the fun times we had when we were growing up… now they are gone." She gave Alistair a sad smile. "I should be getting use to people getting taken away from me… but I'm not. I try not to think of them but that doesn't help either." Amara did not know what she expected Alistair to say but what she did not expect was for Alistair to kneel down next to her and gather her hands in his. She let out a startled gasp when his large callous hands covered hers. They were so warm… he was so warm, it radiated off of him. Her mind flashed back to when she first woke up after Ostagar. It was nice when they comforted each other…when he held her. A part of her longed for that again but now that he was her champion… that closeness was a line she would not cross. It would be too easy for the bond to amplify those feelings into something they should not be.

"I am so sorry Amara… I wish I could say that it gets better but honestly I don't know when it does… I'm here for you if you need me… always," he said earnestly. Amara felt shy and uncomfortable as a chill spreading through her under his gaze. Stupid bond, she thought as she desperately fought against the urge lean into his warmth. Amara pulled her hands from his and patted the back of his hand.

"Thank you Alistair," she said softly as she wrapped her arms around herself. Amara couldn't meet his eyes, afraid to see that look in them again. After a few moments, she heard Alistair sigh as he stood up and walked away from her. Hurting his feelings was the last thing she wanted to do but she did not want to encourage him. Amara sighed and looked to the forest in hopes Morrigan would return shortly.

It wasn't long after that she began to hear the whispers, Morrigan was bringing them here. She stood up and retrieved her herb bag that was sitting with their other belongings. Alistair gave her a puzzled look.

"Morrigan's bringing them here… one is wounded pretty badly," she said as she started to pace anxiously as they waited. It didn't take long before they heard the snapping of twigs and branches from the underbrush near a grouping of trees to the west. Alistair rushed up to help, Morrigan emerged with a man… in between them they carried a small form, dirty blond hair covered their face.

"Help fool!" Morrigan snapped at Alistair when he hesitated after they cleared the brush. He rushed up and grabbed the small form around the waist and lifted her from both Morrigan and the tall man. Alistair turned quickly and rushed towards Amara his face stricken.

"It's Lena! Please help her… I can barely sense her, she is almost gone," he said as he rushed towards her. Amara beckoned him to lay her on the grass, her hand was already glowing with blue light before she reached the woman. Alistair was right, Lena Mahariel was almost dead… her heart beat was very weak. Amara felt her power surge as she concentrated on the main wound in her abdomen… there was so much damage and infection… the poor woman had been dying for days.

"I tried my best to stabilize her but I knew this was beyond my skill… I thought it best to just hurry and get her here," said an exhausted Morrigan as she came to sit at Amara's side.

"No, you did fine… there wasn't much you could have done," said Amara as felt her magic slowly knitting together the damaged intestines. "Morrigan I'm going to need you to make a rinse of elderberry, deep mushroom and elfroot… three, three and four parts, ok?" Morrigan nodded in understanding and got to her feet. "Here take my bag… everything is in there." Amara said as she slid the herb bag over in the grass to Morrigan. Amara looked over at the exhausted man that was sitting on the ground sipping some water Alistair had given him. "How long?" she asked him.

"Two days after Ostagar, our patrol was hit before the battle. A few of us managed to run… we thought we made it out when we were hit by about 15 darkspawn in the night… we were the only two survivors and Lena was wounded. She did not let me know it was bad until a day after we fled… she is a tough little thing," the man said with admiration.

"She has been like this for over a week?" a shocked Alistair asked. The man nodded.

"Not this bad, the fever worsened about 3 days ago and I had to carry her."

"What is your name?" asked Alistair.

"The name is Argos. I was the leader of the Ash Warriors… but I'm not leading much of anything anymore… my pup was killed when we were hit in the night and I haven't seen any other survivors, except you."

"When was the last time you've eaten?" Amara asked. The tall man shrugged.

"Few days ago… it wasn't safe to leave her to find food," said Argos. Amara looked at Alistair.

"I'm on it," he said as he retrieve jerky and some dried fruit from one of their bags. "This should hold you off until dinner," he said as he handed the man the rations.

"Many thanks…" said Argos as he broke off a piece of jerky to eat. "Will she make it?"

"I am hopeful…" was all Amara said as she healed the small woman next to her. She continued to pour her magic into Lena, she was about ready for the rinse; they had to clean the inside of the wound before she could seal it. "Morrigan?" she called.

"Coming," she rushed over with a small pot of boiling water, a cloth wrapped around the handle. Morrigan handed her a small metal cup and then the pot of herbal rinse. Amara scooped out a cup full of steaming liquid and blew a chilling frost on it to cool the mixture before pouring it into the wound. She repeated this a few times before holding her hand above the wound. Amara closed her eyes and pulled the liquid and all of the dirt, puss and other filth out of the wound, the brownish fluid hovered in a ball under her hand to the amazement of those around her. With a throwing motion she sent the fluid ball flying to the ground several feet away. She repeated this several times until the liquid flowing out of the wound ran clear.

"How… how did you do that?" asked an awestruck Morrigan. Amara ignored her, she needed the close the wound. Amara reached down with her right hand and touched the ground, her mind reached out to the grass and soil, she felt her power grow. She hovered her left hand over the wound and felt her magic start to fuse the flesh on Lena's belly. Amara didn't know what made her call out to the ground, it was like an instinct… she knew there was power there.

"Look at her eyes!" she vaguely heard some say but she did not know who nor did she care, Amara was focused on closing the wound. When she felt the last of the skin repaired she broke her contact with the ground leaving her feeling weakened as she bent forward to check on the woman. Her breathing was better but her color was still off, she placed her hand on Lena's forehead and felt more of her magic leave her… searching, probing and eliminating the rest of the infection in her blood. When she was done she sat back and looked at the elf and was pleased to see a better color to her skin. Exhaustion hit her like a giant wave, it was as if she was holding it back until she was done with Lena… now there was no way to stop it. Amara went to stand and fell back to the ground… she didn't realize she had overexerted herself this much. She had healed worse at Ostagar, why was this so much harder? Again she tried to stand and met the same result and ended back on the ground. Amara felt Alistair's arms around her, lifting her off the ground. He carried her away from Lena allowing Morrigan to take over her care. Amara rested her head on Alistair's shoulder too tired to protest as he wrapped his cloak around them and held her tight. She tried to fight it but could not, secured in a cocoon of Alistair's cloak and arms, Amara felt herself give into the warmth and comfort he provided and a deep sleep claimed her.

-O-

It was dark when she awoke, the smell of smoke and the snapping and popping sounds of a fire drew her the rest of the way from her deep sleep. Amara tried to move but found she was wrapped quite snuggly in her cloak, she tried to detangle herself only to have two strong arms tighten around her. That's when she realized where she was… sitting across Alistair's lap as he slept, his back leaning against a tree, his chin resting lightly on her head. Amara sighed, this was getting bad… bonded for less than a week and already she felt some of her resolve slipping. It would be so easy to just relax, snuggle in closer… stupid bond! She managed to slide her arm out of the tangle of cloaks without waking him… she definitely did not want to wake him, she did not want to see those hazel eyes give her that look. Amara reached her hand up and gently laid it on Alistair's brow.

"Sleep," she whispered, putting him into a deep sleep he would not awaken from any time soon. His arm loosened their grip and she was able to pull herself from his lap. Before she left she wrapped his cloak around him so he wouldn't get cold, she saw Morrigan sitting by the fire and went to join her.

"Before you ask, the elf is fine… I just checked on her but a moment ago." Morrigan said as she looked up her, then motioned for Amara to sit. "I see you've escaped the Templar…" Morrigan said with a smirk as Amara sat down next to her.

"Alistair's not a bad person Morrigan… He means well…" Morrigan snorted and rolled her eyes.

"You always wanted to keep the foundlings… they just get bigger and more pathetic the older you get… he is just like that stupid rabbit… remember?" Morrigan asked.

"Don't bring up the rabbit…" scowled Amara. Out of all her memories that Flemeth returned to her, she wished that the witch would of have left this one out.

"It is similar yes? One look at those big round eyes and you bring it home…"

"What is that supposed to mean? Just because I brought a rabbit home and hid it in my bed as a child does not mean I intend on taking Alistair to my bed…" Amara said indignantly causing Morrigan to laugh.

"My dear friend can't you see it? His simpleton charm will wear you down…" she said. Amara couldn't help but to laugh bitterly.

"And I have no say in this? You think of me being that weak and my heart that fickle?" Morrigan shrugged.

"'Tis your nature try to help, to nurture, to love… except no rabbit stew will free you from the mess that would result from involving yourself with the Templar," she said frankly. Amara signed and glanced at Alistair. She had to admit there was an attraction there but that was it, that was as far as it was going to go… not again, she thought.

"I can't believe you and Flemeth ate the rabbit… was that really necessary? " Amara asked ruefully.

"'Twas a lesson that you did not learn apparently." Morrigan noted.

"I was five years old…" Amara said in disbelief. Morrigan waved her off.

"The age is not important, just the lesson," she said in a superior tone. Amara shook her head, she will never agree with Morrigan or Flemeth on this matter. Flemeth was too harsh, even her own mother thought so and it passed right on to Morrigan. Who eats a child's pet rabbit to prove a point? Regardless, she understood Morrigan's concerns about Alistair, it would add unnecessary complications that she didn't need right now.

"Well you can rest easy, I have no intention of becoming involved with anymore rabbits," she said sarcastically.

"You jest but I know in your heart that you are still that little girl who dreamed of a prince. That…" she pointed at Alistair. "…is not it. If everything works out you will have your prince."

"Will he be in shining armor and charming?" Amara joked. Morrigan smiled.

"Perhaps," it was all Morrigan said as she gazed at the fire.

"It was just a dream of a silly little girl," Amara said bitterly. "There will be no prince charming dressed in white for me I'm afraid. I am the mate of a corrupt god… I don't see this ending well for me." She waited for some witty or snide comment from Morrigan but received none. Instead her friend looked away which in a way was worse. They sat there in silence watching the flames dance around the logs in the camp fire. It was several minutes before Morrigan spoke again.

"The way you healed the elf…. I've never seen anything like that before. Mother said you were different but I never really understood how different." Morrigan shook her head in disbelief. "You don't need spells do you?" Amara shook her head.

"No… and lyrium is toxic to me. They gave me some in the Circle and it nearly killed me." Morrigan looked at her intently.

"Where do you draw power from if 'tis not the Fade?" she asked, obviously perplexed over Amara's powers.

"The sky, the ground, the water… not rock. I can't get anything from rock or bare dirt. I don't quite understand that. All of this is still new to me… when I was in the Tower I just had a finite amount of power. When it was gone I had to get it back naturally… over time. Things changed when I left the Tower with Aedan. I first learned I could pull energy from water, then from the sky. Today I did it from the grass… I'm still learning."

"Have you tried to just move things around?" Amara smiled and nodded.

"Oh yes, I can throw things around… I did it to Duncan and to darkspawn." Morrigan shook her head.

"I mean more subtle things, if you can throw darkspawn around why not just snap their necks? It doesn't have to be about grand shows… it can be simple and direct. That might help save power and you won't end up needing to be carried around after battles by the Templar." Amara nodded and thought about it... Morrigan was right but a part of her didn't want to get that good at killing. If it was that easy for her to kill… would she even care after a while? Life was what she enjoyed… healing, making things right. The thought of losing that part of herself, that joy… it was unbearable to think about.

"Don't want to be a good killer… I don't think I could live with myself if I ever got use to it," she said quietly.

"You don't have a lot of options Amara… the darkspawn are not going to care how you feel about killing, nor are bandits we meet along the road. Survival should be your biggest concern, 'tis not something you should take lightly." Amara nodded… so is this what her life has come to now? Survival and neck snapping? A faint moan caught her attention as she contemplated her less than ideal life. Lena… she got up and rushed to the elf's side. She was starting to wake up, her eyes were fluttering open. Her blue eyes fixed on Amara's face and she frowned.

"You… you are the mage from Ostagar… Will's friend," she said in a barely audible raspy voice. Amara nodded and filled up a small cup from her bag with some water from her water skin. She knelt down and helped the woman sit up enough to drink. Lena was strong enough to hold the cup and Amara let her drink her fill. She helped Lena lay back down on the bedroll. "Where am I?"

"Argos carried you almost to Lothering, we are less than a day away. How do you feel?" she asked.

"Tired… hungry," Lena said weakly. "Thank you… for healing me." Amara nodded and removed some dried fruit and two potions from her green bag. She used another bag to make a makeshift pillow for Lena to lean against so she could eat. Once she had Lena situated she handed her the fruit.

"Eat this then drink these two potions… they will help." Lena nodded and slowly began eating the fruit.

"Argos is here?" she asked as she tried to look around the camp.

"Yes, he is on the far side… he is exhausted, I gave him a draught to help him rest," said Morrigan as she joined the women.

"Alistair is here as well," Amara said.

"Will?" Lena asked. Amara hated having to be the one to tell her.

"No… he did not survive Ostagar nor did Aedan," Amara said sadly. She heard a faint sob leave Lena's lips, her hand covered her mouth as she wrestled for control over her emotions. "Duncan, the King… Loghain are all dead as well."

"Were there survivors?" Lena asked, her voice breaking. Amara nodded.

"Some but not many, we saw traces of footprints headed northwest. We think they were going to Redcliffe," she said. Lena nodded.

"I will search there for him before I truly believe that he is gone," Lena said firmly. Her statement made Amara pause, she believes there is still hope… what if Flemeth is wrong? Shouldn't she go to Redcliffe and look for Aedan? What if there is a chance? Amara frowned the more she thought about it. She just didn't have any hope left that he was live… and she couldn't go to Redcliffe now they had to deal with the treaties.

"You mean to go to Redcliffe? I thought you would come with us… we have the Grey Warden treaties, we need to get allies to stop the Blight," Amara said.

"Now that the bastard Duncan is dead… I consider my stay in the Grey Warden's complete," she said bitterly, she took another drink of the potion Amara had given her. "No offense… I did not wish to join in the first place. I am tired of all their secrets and duty," she spat.

"You do not favor the order?" asked Morrigan with a smirk. Lena shook her head.

"You have no idea…"

-O-

**Alistair**

"Please Lena… we need your help… I need your help," begged Alistair. The small blond elf sighed again as she walked beside the former Templar. He had been trying to convince her to help them all morning and he wasn't getting anywhere. He just couldn't believe she would desert the Warden's… and leave him with this mess. Alistair knew there was tension between her and Duncan… and he had heard what had happen at her Joining but he never knew that her dislike for the order ran this deep.

"I've told you Alistair… I'm done. After Lothering I am going to Redcliffe and that is final," she said briskly. Alistair was feeling desperate at this point, he needed Lena's help. He couldn't lead… he was hopeless at it and now that he was Amara's champion he had to focus on that. It was his job now to keep her safe.

"Stop for just a moment… hear me out," he asked. Lena paused and glared at him. Why did she have to be so difficult?

"I will listen but you are not changing my mind about Redcliffe," she said as she crossed her arms. How Will ever managed this woman was beyond him… so damn stubborn.

"Ok… fair enough. Look there is more going on than just the Blight. Amara… she needs to be protected… she is special," he tried to explain. He didn't know how much he should tell Lena, especially if she was just going to leave them.

"And this is somehow my problem because…?" Lena gave him a hard look. Alistair started to feel his patience slip. He looked up the path to see the others had stopped and were waiting for them. He took a deep breath before proceeding.

"Look we need to get the treaty to the dwarves and Amara can't go anywhere near the Deep Roads… can you at least secure the dwarves before you head to Redcliffe?" he asked. If he couldn't get her to stick around to defeat the Blight, maybe he could get her to do this one small part.

"Why can't she go to the Orzammar? What is going on with this mage Alistair? You say she's a Grey Warden but I can't sense her… can you?" Alistair was taken aback by that… he hadn't tried to sense her, he just assumed she was tainted… he was at her Joining, he saw her drink. He thought it was just weak that's why he didn't easily sense it when she was around. Alistair closed his eyes and tried to sense the taint that should be flowing through Amara's veins. His eyes snapped open… he couldn't believe it.

"Well?" Lena asked impatiently. "Do you sense her?" Alistair shook his head.

"No…" his eyes were wide with disbelief. "But I can't sense you either!"

"What do you mean you cannot sense me? I can sense the taint in you and I've been a Warden longer than you…" Lena said as she gave him a confused look.

"Look it's not there… you feel just like anyone else," he said as he shook his head in disbelief. How did this happen… his mind focused on one explanation, it was the only thing that could have happened.

"Amara…" he breathed. Lena gave him and odd look before her eyes widened.

"You think she healed the taint? I didn't think that was possible…" Lena asked as she looked down the path at the mage in question.

"I told you she was special and after what I saw her do at Ostagar I think Amara would have the power to do it. She must have done it when she healed you yesterday… it's the only thing that makes sense." He looked at the small blond elf in front of him, she was staring down at her hands… tears were running down her face.

"Do you know what this means Alistair?" she asked. He shook his head, unsure what to say at this point.

"This means I can go home… I can go back to my people," she laughed as the tears ran down her face. Oh great, he thought… there was no chance she will help now. Then an idea started to form in his head, it was his only chance.

"Considering everything Amara has done for you… I think you owe it to her to help, at least with Orzammar. I would think that's the least you could do for someone that saved your life and removed your taint," he said, his tone was a bit harsher than he had planned but this was his only chance to get Lena to help him. He watched Lena's eyes narrowed at him.

"You would use my gratitude and honor to blackmail me into helping you with your Warden treaties? I can't believe this is coming from you of all people Alistair!" Lena hissed.

"Yeah well desperate times…" he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Look Lena… I can't do this on my own. I can't protect her and get these treaties fulfilled, you are the only other person that can help me… so will you? Will you help me?" he asked. Lena glared at him, her nostrils were flaring and for a brief moment he really did think she was going to stab him.

"Fine! But after Orzammar no more, I'm done with your Grey Warden shit! Understand?" she yelled. Alistair tried his best not to flinch.

"Yes… understood," he said, keeping his tone level. Lena gave him an icy glare, she pushed past him and stomped back to where the others stood waiting. Alistair let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He was getting the help he needed but at what cost? He highly doubted Lena would ever consider him anything remotely close a friend ever again. He just hoped he did the right thing… Alistair didn't like having to do what he did. He just hoped it was worth it…

"Alistair… are you coming?" called Amara, she smiled and beckoned at him, her hair was shimmering in the sunlight giving her an ethereal glow. Maker she was stunning! "Come on… or we'll never make it to Lothering before dark." She stood there waiting for him to catch up as the rest of their companions headed down the path. Alistair felt his breath catch at the sight of her standing there waiting for him. Alistair made up his mind then as he walked towards her… it was definitely worth it.

-O-


	23. Chapter 23 New additions

**Authors Note****: **I had been debating an Alistair romance with this story and decided it will make things a bit more (ok a lot more) interesting after everyone's back together… and who can resist Alistair when he puts on his awkward charm? Next chapter we head back to Aedan/Fergus and crew. As always please review, they are always appreciated and thanks for reading!

-O-

**Chapter 23 – New additions…**

**Amara**

It was early morning when their small group arrived on the outskirts of the town of Lothering. They had decided to camp outside of town last night and venture into Lothering in the morning. Amara had never been to a town before, sure there were small villages on the way from the Circle to Ostagar but never the size of Lothering. She thought it would be more impressive than it really was, the closer they came to the buildings she could see the disrepair, the poor construction. The pungent smell of sewage and garbage was nearly overwhelming. Amara pulled the hood of her cloak tighter around her face, breathing through the fabric barely took the edge off the smell.

"Not what you expected?" said Alistair as he joined her. Amara gave him a sour look as she pulled the hood tighter. Alistair smiled at her discomfort, "You'll get use to the smell…" he said apologetically.

"I don't think I will ever get use to this," she said shaking her head. "Why don't they take care of whatever is causing that horrid stench?"

"Because… shems like living in their own filth," said Lena curtly as she walked past them with Argos trailing behind her.

"Charming as always," Alistair muttered under his breath. Amara watched Lena walk ahead of them into the town. Alistair looked down at her and gave her a tight smile. "We should look at the Chantry board, see if there are some odd jobs we can do for coin. We will need more supplies before we set out for the Circle tomorrow." Amara nodded and fell instep next to Alistair. She was bothered by the animosity that was radiating off Lena whenever Alistair was around. She noticed it immediately after the two had a discussion yesterday evening. Lena had changed her mind about helping but she did not seem pleased about it. When they told her that she had somehow managed to remove the taint from Lena, Amara had been overjoyed…even happier to learn that they could not sense the taint within her, that she was not corrupted. All of that had been overshadowed by the cold angry stares between Alistair and Lena. Amara looked up at Alistair, his jaw firmly locked and furrowed brow…definitely not the normal Alistair. Amara frowned, she wanted him to tell her what was wrong… maybe she could help. Mostly she just wanted Alistair to be his normal happy and joking self. Why did it bother her so much to see him upset? She dismissed the thought as they started down the main road into town.

One of the first things Amara noticed was that she was not entirely sure that it was mud she was stepping in. The main road seemed to be where all the people in the town dumped their garbage and other things that Amara did not want to think about. She couldn't avoid the filth, there were just too many people on the road; it made it impossible to step around the crud. Amara was constantly being bumped and shoved as people made their way down the busy main street. Just too many people here, they must be refugees she thought. There were also animals on the street as well, dogs, cats, goats and several chickens scurried about the people, dodging in between feet. One such animal was almost Amara's undoing as it attempted to run between her legs and got itself twisted in her robe. She would have fallen if Alistair had not been there to catch her and chase the offending critter away. He put his arm around her waist and guided her the rest of the way to the Chantry at the center of town. Amara was grateful for his help, she felt so overwhelmed with all the people around her. Crowds have never been easy for her, they made her nervous, and it was never really crowded in the Circle; she was not use to it. Ostagar was crowded in spots but there was order there, not a dirty mob of angry people and animals milling through the street.

She clung to Alistair's arm as they climbed the steps to the Chantry, the experience of fighting her way through the crowd left her frazzled at best. Alistair remained his normal diligent self and never strayed too far from her side as they read through the scraps of paper attached to the board. To say picking were slim would be an understatement. After several minutes the best they could find were two jobs. The first was for herbs, several of which Amara already had in her bag. The others could be found locally in the fields around the town. The second job was to eradicate a few bears north of town by the woods.

"These will have to do," Alistair said as he offered her his arm before going back down the steps. They cut down a narrow alley to avoid the rush of people on the main street. Amara was glad to get out of the town, it was just too overrun with people.

"I think Morrigan had the right idea about staying in camp," Amara muttered as they passed a small storage shed before they entered a field to the north of town. Even though they were away from the main part of Lothering the smell lingered.

"And miss all the sweaty bodies, critters and filth? Where is your sense of adventure my dear lady?" Alistair joked. Amara gave him a sour look and tried to wipe her boots off in the grass.

"I prefer to adventure in a cleaner place. Is it always that... foul?" she asked as they walked farther into the field.

"Not always… when I was here with Duncan it was not anywhere near this bad. Sorry your first trip to Lothering was less than hygienic," he said with a smirk. She couldn't help but smile, Alistair seemed back to his old self again… she hoped it would last.

"Should we go get Morrigan for the bears?" asked Amara as she scanned the ground looking for the herbs she needed.

"It's just bears… considering we took down an ogre at Ostagar I think we will be fine," Alistair said as he scanned the edges of the field for trouble. Amara saw one of the herbs she needed and gathered a small bunch. They leisurely walked across the field, Amara gathered her herbs while Alistair stood next to her guarding and watching. Amara enjoyed this, the comfortable conversation and light banter…it was the best morning she had in a while. She almost regretted finding the last batch of herbs that she needed.

"Time for bears, they should be this way," Alistair said as he led her towards the woods. It didn't take them long to locate the bears, there were six of them… six very big bears. Amara frowned, they haven't fought anything since Ostagar, that was days ago… They haven't fought since they were bonded…

"Alistair… the bond, it will make fighting different," she worried.

"I know, my sword will get all glowy," Alistair's said nonchalantly as he started to draw his weapon from the hilt on his back.

"It's more than that, it will change you… I don't know how you will react, the bond we have is stronger than the one I had with Aedan," Amara was afraid, she didn't know what was going to happen. She had done nothing to cause the bond to flare with Alistair, she had kept him at arm's length. Now there was no way to avoid that.

"I'm not worried… so what do I need to do start this? Recite some words? Do a little dance?" he joked as he raised his sword up before him. Amara felt it before her eyes noted the glow, the tingling seemed to start at her very core; it made her gasp. Alistair's eyes snapped to hers as his sword ignited in brilliant green flames, Amara couldn't breathe, her eyes locked on his. Time seemed to stop for that moment as they stood there staring at each other as the bond flared to life, the intensity was overwhelming.

"The bears?" Amara said meekly, she still could not draw her eyes away from his.

"The bears…," Alistair repeated, as he took a step towards her. Amara felt her heart pound away in her chest, at the thought of him coming closer, of touching him, of… Oh Maker! Amara quickly diverted her eyes. Alistair seemed to snap out of his daze, he shook his head as if to clear it before looking down at the glowing sword in his hand and then back at Amara. "Right… the bears," he said as he looked back at the animals wandering near the tree line. "This should be interesting," he said as he flashed her a grin before turning towards the bears. Amara let out a breath she had been holding, if he would have come closer there was no way she could have resisted the bond. This terrified her, it was only a matter of time and she knew it, there would come a time when she would give in.

Amara watched as he fought the bears … she had seen him fight in Ostagar, but now with the runes… she was in awe. One man against six bears, he was amazing, such power, such control, she could not take her eyes off of him. He was her champion, hers alone… he would protect her with his own life. Never stop fighting until his last breath, he would do everything to keep her safe… her champion. The bond made her feel him, it made her want him; she stood there watching him finish off the last of the bears with her heart racing. She didn't know what to do now… was she supposed to act on these feelings? Was she ready to explore that side of the bond with Alistair? Her mind did not have the answers to those questions but her body sure seemed like it did as it ached with need for him.

Amara could feel the bond weakening after Alistair finished off the last bear. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Her thoughts started to settle and she was able to think rationally again, well as rationally as she could. Amara's mind was reeling over the implications of what could have just happened. It was just the bond she told herself and if she managed to stay away when it was enflamed then she could resist. This didn't have to follow the same path as with Aedan, she could keep her distance and be just friends.

"Did you see that? That was amazing!" Alistair called as he chopped a paw off each of the bears for proof of its slaying. Amara had to smile at his boyish grin and joy as he approached her with his bag of paws. "I've never felt anything like that… if the darkspawn army was there, I'm pretty sure I could have taken them out." He laughed as he sat down on the grass near her feet, he was nearly trembling with excitement as he told her about how it felt to fight with the runes. His enthusiasm was contagious, Amara found herself laughing with him; she started to feel more relaxed about this. It would work out, they could remain just friends. Amara noticed a cut near his ear on the side of his neck, a claw must have nicked him. She knelt down in the grass beside him.

"You're bleeding," Amara said, her hand already glowing as she reached for him. She knew it was a mistake the moment her fingertips touched his skin, the bond flared. It was not as intense as earlier but it was enough… she felt the connection with him instantly. Unconsciously she brought other hand up to his opposite shoulder to steady herself. She heard Alistair's sharp intake of breath as she leaned in, Amara was mere inches away from him. The pull of the bond bringing her closer than she would have dared before. His eyes searched hers for a moment, they were full questions that were overshadowed by an intense longing that made her tremble. Alistair brought his hand up, he let his knuckles gently caressed her cheek before his fingers wove into the loose braid on the back of her neck. Amara closed her eyes as she felt him draw her towards him, she waited for his lips to graze her but they didn't. Instead she felt his arm wrap around her waist as he pulled her to him in a tight embrace. Amara let out a shuttered breath as she relaxed into Alistair's arms, her head resting on his shoulder, thankful he wore light armor today. Amara didn't know what she had expected but it was not this… not this tenderness. Alistair just held her as the magic of the bond flowed through them, an intimate warmth spread through her making her long to be even closer to him. She wanted to stay like this forever but knew they needed to go back to town before this led them down a path neither was ready for.

"Alistair…" she said softly. "We should go…" Amara felt his arms tighten around her for a brief moment before he started to pull away. The bond flickered before it started to diminish, she felt the loss of his closeness so acutely it caused her to whimper. Her hands slowly slid down from his shoulders, she sat back on her heels while Alistair stood up. He walked away from her for a few steps, she could see him taking deep breaths before he squared his shoulders and turned towards her; he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Let me help you…" he said as he reached for her hand and pulled her off of the soft grass. Amara noticed how his hand lingered on her arm, other than that he acted normal… like nothing had happened. She didn't know whether to be grateful for his normalcy or hurt because he seemed less affected by what had just happened between the two of them. The walk back to town was full of awkwardness that was never between them before. She didn't like it, everything was complicated… too complicated.

-O-

**Alistair**

Alistair didn't know what to do, he was so confused over what had happened… and what could have happened just now. Maker, he could have kissed her, her lips were so close…why didn't he do it? The pull of the bond was so strong he was completely overwhelmed, all he could think about was her… the smell of her hair, the softness of her skin, it was so hard to resist. When he killed the bears he had never felt so powerful before, he could feel her magic pumping through his veins making him faster, making him stronger. Afterwards when she touched him he nearly gave in to the desire that flowed through him, the magic flaming his need for her. He used every ounce of Templar training to stop himself, it was the hardest thing he has ever had to do.

They were almost back town but he couldn't think of anything to say. What could he say? There were no words to describe what he felt, not then, not now. Ever since the bond had awoken he was lacking words, he couldn't explain any of this. Alistair wished he knew what to do now, he felt as if a line had been crossed and there was no going back.

It was early afternoon when they arrived back in town, Alistair was relieved the awkward walk back was over. They needed to find the people from the Chantry board in order to get their coin. Alistair looked over at Amara as she walked at his side, she seemed sad but he couldn't tell for sure, she would not make eye contact with him. They made their way back to the Chantry looking for the Sister Agnise that had posted the note on the Chantry board only to be sent by a rather rude sister to a large red barn on the south side of town. There were people standing around outside, they did not look well. Some had splints and other bandages on them, this barn must have been some type of healing house. There were Templars standing guard outside of the doors. He was shocked when Amara let out a small cry and ran towards one of the guards.

"Ser Bryant!" Amara exclaimed as she rushed to the Templar at the door.

"Lady Amara! What are you doing here?" he scooped her up in a hug, Amara laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Alistair froze and watched the scene in front of him… a Templar hugging a mage, he almost couldn't understand what he was seeing.

"Oww armor!" she squeaked and he let her go. Alistair felt a twinge of what he could only described as jealousy seeing her in the arms of this other man.

"Sorry my Lady. What are you doing out of the tower? Where are the others? Bran? Cullen?" asked the Templar. Alistair started to relax some, this was someone she knew from the Circle. Still he didn't like the familiarity this Templar had with her.

"They are back at the tower… I was recruited by the Grey Wardens. I left the tower about a month ago. We fought at Ostagar," she glanced at Alistair, his jaw was fixed as he looked at Ser Bryant. "Oh! Ser Bryant this is Alistair… he's my… fellow Grey Warden. Alistair, this is Ser Bryant one of my four nannies," she said fondly at the Templar. Alistair couldn't help but feel a bit of a sting, she was going to say my champion but did not.

"Nannies?" Alistair asked.

"At the Circle Knight-Commander Greagoir assigned four Templars to watch over Amara. There was myself, Ser Cullen, Ser Bran and Ser Hadley. We took turns guarding her for about four years until Greagoir reassigned us." He smiled at Amara before continuing. "Those were four great years weren't they Amara?"

"It was a lot of fun… I miss it. Things have gotten complicated… with the Blight and everything else," she said sadkt. He saw her glance at him but quickly look away. Complicated… that was an understatement.

"And who is this Ser Bryant?" asked a woman in the doorway of the barn. It was one of the Chantry sisters, she had red hair and a heavy Orlesian accent. She sauntered up to Ser Bryant's side as she stared at Amara. "Who is this exquisite flower?" the woman exclaimed. Alistair felt his eyebrow rise.

"This is Amara Amell, my friend and the best healer that I've ever seen," Ser Bryant said, his voice full of praise. Alistair watched Amara blush and look away.

"The Maker must have sent her, no? I am Sister Leliana, come you will help yes?" said the woman as she grasped Amara's hand and started to pull her towards the door. Amara hesitated then looked at Alistair in confusion, he didn't know what to do so he just shrugged. The woman pulled her into the barn, Alistair and Ser Bryant followed close behind. Alistair was shocked at what he saw, there were rows and rows of cots… they were all full. The smell of sickness and infection filed the air making him feel queasy. He heard Amara gasp, he turned to see her rush up to the first cot where a small child lay gasping for breath, her hand already glowing blue. Alistair knew that there was no way she was going to leave this barn until she's taken care of everyone that she could. He started to join Amara at the bedside when she turned to him.

"Alistair, you can go ahead… turn in the paws and pick up supplies. I have work to do here… come back in a few hours," she said, her tone was abrupt. He was going to protest but she had already turned away from him and was leaning over the child in the bed. Alistair stood there for a moment torn over what he should do, he did not want to leave her regardless of what she said.

"We'll watch out for her," Ser Bryant said as he joined Alistair. All he could do was nod at the Templar, Alistair looked back at Amara; Sister Leliana was at her side assisting her like he had done at Ostagar. So that was that… he was dismissed, she did not need him. He turned and left, feeling more of a sting than he rightfully should have. Who was he kidding? He was a replacement not her first choice, in fact he was not her choice at all… he was only her champion because it was necessary to protect her from Urthemiel. He felt foolish for letting himself hope, he shook his head and pushed open the door and left the barn.

His dark thoughts followed him as he made his way through the congested streets. Alistair was in a foul mood, the filthy reeking mob of people did not help the situation. His patience was completely worn thin by the time he located the man and turned in the paws. It was not as much coin as he hoped for but it would have to do. He was able to get some supplies at the tavern, he waited at the bar as the owners wife gathered the items he requested. Alistair expected the tavern to be more crowded with all the refugees but he suspected they didn't have the coin to spend here. He wished he had spare coin to buy some ale, he could use it after today's turn of events.

"You look like someone that could use a drink yes?" said a voice to his right. Alistair turned to see a finely dressed elf with long blond hair pulling up a stool next to him. Alistair gave the elf a wary look, the last thing he needed was to get robbed of what little coin he had.

"Use one? Yes… afford one? No…" he said as he turned away to look for the tavern owners wife. The sour woman brought back a small package and sat it next to him at the bar as she collected his coins.

"Ah well allow me to buy you one," Alistair shook his head. "I insist… I do not wish to drink alone and you my friend need one so it is kismet you happened here when you did yes?" Alistair sighed… he had nothing to do for the next couple hours, he might as well. He nodded at the strange elf who grinned broadly at him. "A wise choice my friend… my Lady?" he called after the barmaid. "May my friend and I have two of your best ales?" he asked the barmaid sweetly, the girl blushed a deep crimson under his gaze before turning to leave. The look the elf gave the barmaid was scandalous when she turned to retrieve the drinks. "I think I may have found my entertainment for the evening." He said as he stared after the women behind the bar. Alistair snorted and looked away. "Ah thank you my lovely," he said when the barmaid sat down their ales. He left her a generous tip and a smoldering look that sent the girl scurrying away blushing. "I have been rude, please forgive me," he said as he turned to Alistair. "I am Zevran Arainai, illustrious merchant from Antiva. And you are?"

"Alistair…" he said as he raised the mug to his lips. "Thank you for the ale."

"It is nothing… well worth the company," he said. "So tell me my handsome friend why do you look so grim for a man who had such a lovely woman on his arm earlier?" Alistair gave him a sharp look. "I saw you at the Chantry board… you were escorting a breathtaking woman through the town. Such a specimen is hard to miss in a dismal place such as this, no?"

"I suppose," muttered Alistair before he took a long drink from his mug. He didn't really want to talk about this with a complete stranger.

"Well, you are a lucky man my friend to have such a fair creature to call his," Zevran said as his eyes followed the barmaid as she carried drinks out to the tables. Alistair sighed.

"She's not mine… we are just traveling together," he said with a faintly bitter tone to his voice.

"You jest my friend, my eyes did not deceive me… it was plain to me where the lady's affections lie," he said. Alistair shook his head and laughed. Oh this is rich, he thought… the elf must have had several mugs of ale before Alistair had ventured into the tavern.

"I would have to say your eye sight is failing you then. Amara does not see me for anything more than a friend and at times I have to wonder about the friend part," he shook his head before taking another drink.

"Amara… such a unique name. Quite fitting for one as lovely as your lady," noted the elf. "You sell yourself short my friend… her affections were clearly visible if you look for them." Zevran waved the barmaid over, "Another round my sweet," he said as he placed his coin on the bar.

"You must be seeing something I cannot…" said Alistair as he took another drink. Zevran laughed and slapped Alistair on the shoulder.

"Body language my brawny friend, it is the language of desires the lips are two afraid to speak. Now pay attention to our voluptuous barmaid when she brings us our drinks. I will educate you on what you see." Alistair rolled his eyes and finished off his mug. The barmaid returned with two full mugs of ale. He watched as she delivered the mugs and took the coin. "Did you see that? The way she leaned into me? The way her fingers brushed mine when reaching for the coin? Those are all signs!" Alistair thought about it for a minute before shaking his head.

"Amara didn't do that," he said still shaking his head.

"Oh I beg to differ, for the brief time I saw you at the Chantry board she was definitely leaning into you," Zevran he smiled. "And you my friend were no better with your arm around her waist, hand gently resting on her hip… too intimate of contact for strangers no?" Alistair felt the heat rising to his face. "Where is the lovely Amara? If she was here I could explain to you later other signs she gives off in your presence my friend."

"She is at the barn… healing," he said shortly with a wave of his hand.

"Ah so she is a mage? Interesting… yes, you are quite lucky indeed! I bedded a mage in Treviso once… the things they can do with their magic… well let us just say I have new appreciation for elemental mages control of ice." Alistair's blush deepened, the images that popped into his head just caused his blush to deepen. They heard a giggle and a squeal from the other side of the tavern, the barmaid was sitting on the lap of one of the men at the far table. Alistair saw the blond elf frown. "Well, I had better go in for the kill before I am occupying a cold bed tonight…" he said as he reached into his inside jacket pocket. He pulled out a deep red rose.

"Do you always carry a rose in your pocket?" asked Alistair with a smirk. Zevran laughed and drank the rest of his ale before slamming the mug down on the bar.

"Sometimes… they come in handy no? This one I found behind the smithy today… you should get one for your Amara. Trust me, she will be most pleased. I leave in two days for Redcliffe, we could travel together… safety in numbers; the roads have been most hazardous of late." Alistair shook his head.

"I'm sorry, we're leaving in the morning on the northern road around the lake but thank you… for your hospitality and conversation… I best be going myself." He extended his hand to the elf who gladly shook it.

"Yes my friend, it has been a pleasure. Hopefully someday our paths will cross again no? And Alistair, do not dally… let your lady know how you feel. Fate is a cruel mistress… you never know when she will take away that which you hold precious." He gave a confused Alistair a squeeze on the shoulder before cornering the unsuspecting barmaid and giving her the rose. Alistair watched as the woman quickly forgot about the man at the table and threw her arms around the elf giving him a passionate kiss. Alistair shook his head and laughed… maybe the elf was right. He gathered up his belongings and left to go find that patch of roses by the smithy.

-O-

Alistair arrived back at the barn just ask the sky started to take on the purple hue of dusk. He was surprised to find that there were no people around the outside and the Templar guards were gone as well. A pang of fear hit him as he picked up pace towards the doors, he quickly flung the doors open to find the place empty.

"Amara?" he yelled, panic fully gripping him now. He should have never of left her. He saw a curtain flutter and then be pulled back in the far corner of the barn. The red headed woman from earlier stepped out, she waved to him and then brought her finger to her lips motioning for him to be quiet. Alistair rushed up to the curtain and pulled it back, ignoring the sister. Laying on a cot sound asleep was Amara. He let out a sigh of relief as he quickly crossed the floor and knelt by the side of the cot. Alistair brought his hand up and gently brushed the hair out of her face, his fingers gently trailing down her cheek. Amara's eyes fluttered open for a moment, she smiled softly at him; her hand came up and cupped his cheek.

"My champion…" she whispered, her hand started to slide from his cheek as sleep overtook her once more. He grabbed her hand before it fell and brought it to his lips for gently kiss before laying it back on the cot. Alistair sat back on his heels and noticed the Chantry sister standing there staring at them.

"What happened?" he asked even though he suspected she had just over exerted herself. There was no way she would walk away from anyone that required healing.

"She healed all of them… every last one, it was truly amazing. The Maker has blessed us with her presence!" the woman said, her voice full of admiration and awe, He glanced up at the woman and noticed that she was no long in the robes of a Chantry sister, instead she was dressed in light leather armor and had a bow strapped across her back. He thought that was odd but did not mention it.

"Where are the others?" he asked as he stood up, he started to gather her belongings scattered about the small area. Why did it seem like there were twice as many bags as they should have in here now?

"Ser Bryant has left to plan for the evacuation, they will be leaving for Redcliffe tomorrow," she said as she helped pack up Amara's herb bag.

"Evacuation?"

"Yes, Lady Amara found that most of the people ill were made sick by the water… the main well is contaminated. She asked that we seal the well and with no water… the people would need to leave," she explained. Alistair nodded, it was probably all of the sewage,

"It's probably for the best, eventually the darkspawn are going to head north," he said, he started to tie the packages and bags together so that he could carry them and Amara back to camp. There were way more bags then they left camp with this morning, he looked around in frustration… there was no way he could make two trips before dark. "Why are there so many bags?"

"They were gifts… payments, for the healing." Leliana took a full change purse from one of the bags and handed it to Alistair. "People were very grateful…. I can help carry some," said the woman. "I am coming with you." Alistair stopped and looked at her.

"Coming with us?" he asked.

"Yes, the Maker bestowed a vision on me… Andraste would come and I am to follow her. I knew after I saw Lady Amara what that vision meant, and after seeing the miracles she performed today I am positive the vision was about her." Alistair definitely thought she was crazy now. "Lady Amara said I could joining on your quest to end the Blight." Perfect, he thought. This woman with Lena and Morrigan was going to be great fun. He hoped Amara knew what she was doing by bringing this woman along. He strapped what bags he could around his shoulders, the rest he left for Leliana. Alistair bent down and gently lifted Amara into his arms, careful to rest her head in the nook of his neck so she would be comfortable for the long walk back to camp.

"Grab the rest and let's go," he said as he carried Amara towards the doors. "We want to be well out of town before dark.

-O-

They arrived back at camp just after night fall, he noticed that Lena and Argos had made it back safely and were currently eating stew by the fire. They sat next to a third person, a very large man… he was easily a foot or more taller than Alistair. He was strange looking indeed with his white hair, Alistair didn't know if it was a trick of the light but the man's eyes looked red.

"It's about time you got back," scolded Lena. Alistair ignored her and carried Amara to her bedroll where he gently laid her down and covered her with blankets.

"Templar? Where have you been?" demanded Morrigan as she stormed up to him. "What is wrong with Amara?"

"Oh hello Morrigan, good to see you too," he said sarcastically. Morrigan knelt down and checked on Amara before glaring at him. "She is fine, just over exerted herself again." Morrigan shook her head, she pointed to Leliana who was standing awkwardly nearby.

"Who is that?" Alistair sighed, he wished Amara was awake.

"Leliana, a Chantry sister that Amara invited along." He pointed at the big man by the fire. "Who is that?" he asked pointing at the tall man by the fire.

"That is Sten, he's a Qunari," said Lena. "We found him in a cage just outside of town… he wants to help with the Blight so I invited him to tag along." She shoved a bowl of stew in his hand before retreating back to the fire.

"Thanks… I guess," Alistair mumbled. He looked at Leliana and motioned her towards the fire. "That was Lena, the tall dark haired man is Argos and this is Morrigan," he said pointing at the witch who was still checking Amara. "I guess get some stew and mingle?' he suggested as he took a seat on the ground next to Amara's bedroll. Leliana nodded and left to join the others near the fire, Alistair was grateful… he did not want to have to babysit her all night.

"You need to stop her from exhausting herself so," chastised Morrigan. Alistair laughed.

"And how am I to do that? Tell her she can't heal people? Hit her over the head with the hilt of my sword? Be serious Morrigan… there is no stopping her when it comes to helping people," Alistair said before taking another bite of his stew. Morrigan regarded him for a moment before sighing and leaving for her own small fire on the outskirts of camp. Alistair was grateful to finally be left alone to finish his stew in peace. He reached over and tucked the blankets in around Amara before settling back and finishing his stew.

-O-

The watch order had been decided and most had settled into their bedrolls for the night. It was Alistair's watch… he sat lone near the fire watching for any threats in the shadows. His thumb kept grazing the small lump in his soft leather bag at his side. He could see Morrigan working on draughts near her small camp fire. He sighed and decided to take a chance… the worst she could do was laugh at him. He got up and quietly walked over to her, his hand gripping the bag tightly.

"Morrigan… I need to ask a favor of you," he said, trying to hide the wince that was caused by even asking her for anything. Morrigan glared at him.

"And what pray tell could you possibly want from me Templar?" she sneered at him. Alistair knew this was a mistake, he didn't know why he bothered.

"Never mind…" he said as he turned to leave. Morrigan got to her feet then and pursued him.

"Oh now my curiosity has peaked… what do you want Alistair?" He stopped and turned back towards her.

"Can you preserve something? Like what you do for the food but for something else?" he asked. He didn't want to yet hope that she would help him with this… he knew Morrigan hated him and Amara was her friend.

"Yes, that I can do… 'Tis a simple spell. What do you want preserved?" she asked, her hands folded across her chest. Alistair reached into his bag and slowly pulled out the rose that he had picked earlier for Amara. Zevran was right, there were some behind the smithy… he had taken the time to pick the most flawless one. Morrigan's eyes widened when she looked at the flower, she looked over to where Amara slept on her bedroll, Alistair thought he saw sadness in her eyes… it must have been a trick of the light. She hesitated for a moment before snatching the flower from his hand. Alistair watched as she recited the spell, the rose shimmered and glowed, when the spell was done she handed the rose back to him.

"It will not fade…" she said simply before turning away and walking back to her fire.

"Thank you," Alistair said happily as he gently placed the rose back in his bag.

"Do not thank me Templar…" Morrigan said as she turned to face him. "You do realize that she will not ever truly be yours? You are not her prince…" she said quietly. "To pursue this will only cause both of you a great deal of pain…"

"Then I guess I will have to prove you wrong…" he said sharply as he turned and walked away from the witch. Alistair didn't wait to hear if Morrigan had anything else to say, he knew she was wrong. He knew what he felt in his heart was true, he would never do anything to hurt Amara. The witch was wrong.

-O-


	24. Chapter 24 Where are the patrols?

**Authors Note****:** A different spin on what happened in Redcliffe village and what happened to all the men Eamon was supposed to be gathering for Ostagar. The next chapter or two will take place in Redcliffe castle and the Tevinter secondary plot will start to take shape. Please review and thanks for reading!

-O-

**Chapter 24 – Where are the patrols?**

**Aedan**

"Something smells bad here," Fergus said as he paced up and down the road a couple miles outside of Redcliffe Village. "Something smells really bad here." He couldn't argue with this brother, there was something wrong. Where were the patrols? The roads have been completely empty on the way… there should have been patrols. Eamon always had patrols this far south, something had to definitely be wrong.

"We should send a small force to the village, Will and I will go in case the problems are due to the darkspawn. We'll take Henric and Wynne with us, we'll scout it out… be back before you notice we're gone," Aedan said with a reassuring grin. Fergus narrowed his eyes as he looked at him.

"You'll take Landry and a dozen men with you," Fergus said as he continued to pace. Aedan sighed… he was being overprotective again. Somehow his brother had turned into his mother since Ostagar.

"Fergus, taking extra people will be more dangerous… this way we can get in and out without a lot of notice." He gave his brother a beseeching look, "You know I'm right on this… leave Landry and his men at a halfway point, if we need them we'll signal."

"Ok fine, no heroics. If Redcliffe is overrun by darkspawn then we will backtrack, head north along the River Dane to West Hill." Aedan frowned, he motioned for his brother to step away from the men. He did not want to outright question his brothers plans in front of the others. The two men walked far enough away to avoid being overheard.

"Did one of my punches do more damage than I thought brother?" Aedan asked in a low voice. "West Hill? How do you plan to get all these people that far north with hardly any supplies?" Fergus gave him a hard look.

"If Redcliffe is overran… we have no other options. West Hill is the only place we can defend, we will at least have a chance if we make it there," Fergus said, his voice was calm but there was a bit of an edge to it.

"It's not our only option… we could go to Lothering… South Reach or maybe to Orlais. If we try for West Hill we'll lose over half of the refugees," Aedan said, trying to make his brother see his reason. Fergus shook his head.

"Lothering cannot support the soldiers and refugees… it was a shithole to begin with, there is no infrastructure for it, just a bunch of rundown old buildings. South Reach is the same and even farther away and do you honestly think the Orlesians are just going to welcome us in? If they haven't already, the Orlesians will seal the border… they can't support their own people with thousands of Ferelden refugees on top of that. No brother, our options are extremely limited… it's Redcliffe or we take a chance with West Hill." Fergus started pacing again. "Look, West Hill just makes sense… it has the room and it is far enough away from the Wilds to keep us from immediate darkspawn threats. We have to build an army again if we want any chance of surviving this… we have to find place we can start that. I hope Redcliffe is available and we can setup a base there but you know Eamon… he had these roads patrolled heavily to stop bandits… especially this close to the village, something is wrong." Aedan looked at his brother and sighed.

"You're right…" Aedan ran his hand over his face. "I know you are right… I just don't like it. The refugees are going to pay the price. I hope whatever is wrong in Redcliffe is fixable. I'm getting really worried about the darkspawn… we haven't seen any in over a week. Where are they? Did they go straight north to Lothering? We have no information, no scouts… I just feel like we are going to get blindsided." Fergus nodded, Aedan could tell he had been thinking the same thing.

"Yes, something is not right… I've been waiting for us to get hit for days. I don't like it Aedan, something is off about this whole thing. I can't make heads or tails of it…" Fergus said as he started to pace again. Fergus always paced when he was worried, he was pacing a lot these days. Aedan knew making these decisions was not easy on his brother. Fergus was raised to takeover Highever… not rebuild Ferelden's army and defend against a Blight. Aedan did his best to help his brother with this burden but he never felt like it was enough.

"I think they are regrouping, what Amara did to them at Ostagar hurt them… it bought us some time," Aedan said grimly. "But they will be back and with the tunnels everywhere…"

"Yeah I know, that's why we need a defensible location… you better get ready. If we can't secure Redcliffe we need to know now." Aedan nodded, he left his brother to go find Will and the rest… they need to set out within the hour if they hoped to get back before nightfall.

-O-

Aedan's eyes scanned the road ahead, he would have expected a farmer or maybe some children to be on the road or at least in the fields. Instead there was no one… no one tending the crops and no one tending the animals either… what few he saw along the way. It had to be darkspawn… it was the only thing that made sense, yet he felt none… no darkspawn at all. Neither Will nor he felt a trace of the darkspawn taint. Riordan was still too weak to join them but before they left they asked him and he said there were none. So what happened to the people if it wasn't the darkspawn? His thoughts strayed to Highever and Howe's attack… it couldn't have been Howe, he just didn't have the resources. The closer they came to the village the more unease he felt.

"I feel like I'm in the Fade," muttered Will. "This has the same foreboding surreal aspect to it." Aedan could see his companions were apprehensive as well… even Wynne seemed disturbed by the isolation, she wasn't her normal bossy self. She quietly walked next to them, her lined face solemn as her eyes scanned the surrounding fields.

"This is most unsettling," said Ser Henric as he peered at the vacant fields. The young Templar brushed his sandy blond hair from his eyes as he nervously followed behind Will. They kept walking down the road until they saw it fork to the right, there were two guard houses on either side. Aedan stopped, he thought he saw some movement near one of the houses.

"Be ready," he said quietly to the others. "I thought I saw something move near the houses." They approached the buildings slowly, everyone was on their guard. He could see the faint glow around the mages staves as they started to focus their mana. They were almost close enough to see in the windows when a deep voice stopped them.

"Halt! Do not come any closer!" the voice yelled. "The Village of Redcliffe has been quarantined by order of Arl Eamon Guerrin." A knight appeared from the doorway of one of the guard houses. He had a white cloth tied around his face. Three more guards appeared, all of them with white cloth tied around their faces. "We cannot let you in… for your own safety," said the knight. They were shocked, of all the things that could have caused problems in Redcliffe they never once suspected anything like this.

"Ser, I am Aedan Cousland of the Grey Wardens, can you tell me what has happened here? We will help if we can," he said as he approached the knight. The knight nodded and led them over to an area where there were wooden benches for them to sit on. The knights stood guard along the road down to the village, these benches were as close as the knights were going to let them get.

"I am Ser Perth, I command what is left of Redcliffe's guard. About ten days ago we were preparing to march to Ostagar to join the king's army against the darkspawn when the first cases appeared. A sickness within the ranks…the fever spread like wildfire through the men, within two days half of our forces were sick. We sent word to the Circle Tower immediately, they sent two mages with Templar guards to help. The Arl issued the quarantine after the mages arrived, they were taken to Redcliffe Castle and we never saw them again. That was five days ago… we've had no word from the people at the castle at all since then… the gates are locked. Within a week since the first cases, half of those that were sick with the fever have died… the other half… they started to change, it's hard to explain unless you've seen it… they became monsters," Ser Perth said quietly. Aedan didn't know what to say… monsters? It seemed hard to believe an illness could do that to someone.

"Young man, can you tell me everything you know about the fever? All of the symptoms? I'm a healer from the Circle… so is Will," said Wynne as she gestured towards Will.

"Maker be praised!" said Ser Perth. "I did not think the Circle would come to our aid again. We sent another boat for more healers three days ago but they never returned… hopefully you can help us." Will and Wynne followed Ser Perth into one of the guard houses to go over the symptoms of the fever, leaving Aedan and Ser Henric outside with the other men. Aedan decide to start questioning the men, he hoped they had more information on these _monsters_ than Ser Perth had mentioned.

"Can any of you elaborate on what Ser Perth meant by _monsters_?" asked Aedan. "We have more men to the south from Ostagar, we can help if needed." A man in pieced together armor stepped forward from the other guards. He had a rather gruff appearance for a guard, his hair long and beard untrimmed.

"Aye I can… seen one too many of them in the village at night," the man said. "The names Murdock, I was one of the fishermen until the plague happened. What was left of the village elected me mayor after the old one turned into one of those things."

"Things?" asked Ser Henric.

"Aye, can't say that they are men anymore… the fever, it changes them," said Murdock, Aedan could tell he didn't look comfortable talking about it.

"How does the fever change them?" Aedan pressed. "We need to know everything."

"The fever always kills the women and children first… within a couple of days. It's the men that linger… the old and the weak die after about four days. The men that don't die… they bleed," Murdock said with a shudder. Aedan and Henric look at each other confused.

"What do you mean they bleed?" asked the Templar.

"From the eyes, their noses and their mouth… I think I've seen it coming out of their ears too. It just seeps out of them… running down their faces and clothes, everywhere. Their skin becomes rough… like scales. And they are strong as four men… I've seen two of them rip a man in half. Arrows don't stop them either…" said Murdock, his eyes darting wildly. "You have to cut their heads off to kill them…" Aedan could feel the dread pooling in his stomach. He has never heard of anything like this, not even close.

"Is that what happened to the soldiers?" asked Henric, his face visibly pale after hearing Murdock's descriptions of the monsters. The Mayor nodded, his mouth twisted into a frown.

'Aye, those that did not get the fever died killing those infected. Two whole battalions wiped out… all we have left is a few platoons. If we wouldn't have figured out how to kill them there would be none left." Aedan couldn't believe it, so many soldiers' dead and uncounted villagers too.

"How is it that any of you survived? How come you are not infected?" asked Aedan. He started to worry, there was no way Fergus could bring the Ostagar survivors here. They would be forced to go to West Hill… so many would be lost.

"Well we have Ser Perth to thank for that… once the quarantine orders came out he capped the wells and forced us to get our water from the lake and boil it. His mother was a midwife, taught the boy some of her trade. We know that's where it started, something got in the wells but we also know now that the blood of the infected can spread it too. That's why we wear the cloth so we don't get blood spray in our mouths." Murdock leaned closer, his voice low. "We have one of the things caged if you want to see it." Aedan looked at Henric who slowly nodded his head.

"Alright, take us to it," he said. Aedan didn't know why he wanted to see it, if it was morbid curiosity or just to solidify that it was real, all of this seemed like a tale told to scare children. One of the soldiers offered them white clothes to tie around their faces, he gladly accepted it. Once the cloth was tied Murdock led them down the path into the nearly deserted village. The smell of burning flesh assaulted his nose as they entered the center of the village, he saw other soldiers then with their white clothes working in the village. Vast amounts of smoke rose from the chimneys of what could only be the smithy, to his horror he watched two soldiers carry a bundled body inside. Through the window he saw them toss it into the furnace. Aedan felt Murdock's eyes on him, he turned to his side to look at him… the big man's eyes were filled with sadness.

"That's where we burn them… we've kept the fires going for over a week now," he said grimly. Aedan just stared at him in disbelief, this couldn't be happening. His eyes focused on a canvas tarp covering what he initially thought was wood stacked outside the smithy until two men lifted it to reveal it was bodies… bodies awaiting their turn in the smithy furnace. Aedan felt the bile rise in his throat. He pulled his eyes off of the canvas covered bodies and looked around the village. There were men hauling wood and stacking it next to the smithy, others shoveling ash from the ash bins on the side of the smithy. Others filling jugs of water from the lake and carrying it big pots. It was the efficiency of necessity driving the activities in the village now, everyone had their role. Aedan felt numb as he watched the men work.

"It is over this way…" said Murdock as he guided them towards an area of the village away from the men working. He led them down a small alley between two buildings to a small open area behind a shed. There was an iron cage in the shadows, what was in it caused Aedan's blood to run cold. Standing perfectly still in the center of a cage was what looked like a man, it had the frame of a man… broad shoulders, strong arms and legs but that is where the similarities ended. Its flesh was a dark grey color, the tissue was thick and cracked making it look like scales… a yellow fluid oozed from the cracks. Blood slowly seeped from its eyes, nose and mouth, turning the grey cracked face into a mask of gore. Its eyes were white and unseeing as it stood unmoving in the cage. There were no recognizable features left to say this creature was once human.

"Maker…" he heard Henric whisper. Aedan was too shocked and disgusted for words. What could do this to a man? Murdock led them back to the village center, not wanting to stay near the creature for very long.

"Why does it just stand there? Why doesn't it attack?" asked Henric.

"When they are not attacking, that is what they do… we keep one caged because when it starts moving, we know when others are coming," Murdock said. Before Aedan could ask Murdock more questions when a grim-faced Will stormed down the path towards them.

"Aedan, Henric… we need to talk," was all he said as he walked back away from the road. The two men exchanged glances and quickly followed him. Aedan had never seen his friend so tense before, his posture was ridged and his expression bleak.

"Will… what is it?" Aedan asked when they were out of earshot of the Redcliffe guards. Will spun and looked at him, his eyes were fierce.

"This is blood plague Aedan… do you know what that means?" Aedan shook his head… he had never heard of it.

"I know… Maker I hope you are wrong," said Henric, his countenance now mirroring Will's as he looked back at the soldiers working in the village. Will ran his fingers through his hair as he started to pace.

"There is a very powerful, very stupid blood mage nearby… this plague is blood magic of the worst kind. This is why the Templar order was started in the first place, to prevent this type of magic from taking over everything," Will said as he gestured towards the village. "Those monsters Ser Perth mentioned… they are a special type blood thrall… each one of those bleeding monsters is like a giant bottle of lyrium that can rip you in half. This is bad Aedan, this is really bad," Will said as he wrung his hands. "The last time a blood plague occurred tens of thousands died in Tevinter before it was ended. The only way to stop this is to kill the blood mage who is controlling the blood thralls or drain them so they lose control of the thralls… if that happens the thralls will attack them. They would have to be close by, my guess is the castle. They have to be near so they don't lose control of the thralls."

"We should get Fergus, with the soldiers from Ostagar we could seize the castle…" Will started shaking his head.

"No, we can't do that, we have no idea how much power this mage has… if we attack directly we'd need an army of Templars…" said Will in a harsh voice.

"Then what do we do?" Aedan asked, this was not his forte, he didn't know what to do against blood mages or abominations… darkspawn and men were all he had experience fighting.

"A small group… maybe five or six people," Will said in a low voice. "We locate the blood mage and kill them." Aedan stood there with his mouth agape, he couldn't believe what Will just suggested.

"Are you insane? A mage so powerful that we'd need an army of Templars to defeat… you think we can just sneak in and stick a knife in them? We don't even know who the blood mage is for Maker's sake. We are not Crows, we'll alert someone and all that mage has to do is send those blood thralls after us and we are done." Aedan hissed. "And what if there is more than one blood mage? Doesn't this seem a little ambitious for just one person? Why Redcliffe? Why now?"

"It could work… if we were able to surprise them," Henric said quietly. Aedan turned and glared at him.

"Not you too Henric! Look, don't you both see this is a suicide mission? If we can even get inside of the castle, we have no idea what is inside… there could be a hundred of those blood thralls in there, not to mention demons… I hear blood mages are fond of those as well." Aedan shook his head and walked away from them. He rubbed his face, he had to think… he had to come up with a plan. Maker… it was just too much, his family, Amara, Ostagar… now this? When was it going to end? He looked at Will's face, the grim determination emanating from it. Aedan sighed, "You've made up your mind…"

"We can't leave it like this Aedan, there are no reinforcements to call upon; this can't wait another day… Each day the blood mage gets more powerful. This is a blight in and of itself… none of us from the Circle can walk away, it has to be stopped." Aedan nodded then cursed under his breath.

"Ok… we're going to do this… we're going to get ourselves killed but we're going to do it," Aedan muttered as he paced around them. Will smirked at him.

"Didn't you want to die a few days ago?" he asked. Aedan glared at him.

"Yeah well Fergus beat some sense into me, I'd do the same to you both if circumstances were different." Aedan rubbed the back of his neck. "Well now that we know what we need to do, let's talk about how… we can't walk through the main gates, how do we get in?" Will looked up the path towards the guard houses where Wynne and Ser Perth were now standing outside of.

"No idea… but I think I know who might…" Will said as he started walking back to the knight.

-O-

For the next few hours the five of them worked out a plan to get into the castle unnoticed. There is an old tunnel that runs from the grain storage room under the windmill into the old cellars… Ser Perth remembered it… his grandfather said that was how old Rendorn Guerrin use to sneak his mistress into the castle. He thought it was his grandfather telling tales until he found the latched door as a kid and explored the passages.

"I don't know how intact the tunnels are… it's been almost twenty years since I've been down there," said Ser Perth as they packed their supplies for the castle. Will was making lyrium potions for himself and Wynne, they needed as many as they could carry. Henric made sure he took his lyrium for the day, Will had been making him special potions since Ostagar; he had none left from the Chantry. A lot of the plan rode on Henric's shoulders, he had to drain the mana from the blood mage… if he failed everything would unravel. Aedan waited to the side watching the others prepare, he had everything he needed. Earlier he had hastily written a note to Fergus explaining what they had planned to do, he gave it to one of Ser Perth's men to deliver it as soon as they left. Murdock was staying behind to command the remaining troops, only Ser Perth was going into the castle with them.

"Ready?" he asked Henric, the Templar was quietly sitting by the door waiting for the mages to be done. He gave Aedan an uneasy look, his responsibilities weighing heavily on him.

"I took my vows five years ago… I've gone on a several mage hunts, witnessed a few Harrowings. Those are supposed to prepare me to fight blood mages. The mages we hunted were not blood mages, just scared elemental or spirit mages trying to get away from the Circle and the Chantry. The few that tried to use blood magic against us were doing it out of desperation, they were not experienced… the spells often failed or backfired on the mage. So to answer your question… am I ready? No… nothing I have done as a Templar so far would make me ready. Everything I believe in says I have to try, what we saw today… it cannot be allowed to exist," he said solemnly. "That is all I can do… try, that's all any of us can do." Aedan grasped the man's shoulder and gave him a sad smile.

"You'll do fine Henric…" Aedan said. "We'll make it through the night, the plan doesn't seem as crazy now as it did when Will first suggested it."

"… seem as crazy, well that is reassuring," Henric smirked.

"It's the best I can do," Aedan smiled. "Fergus is going to kill me… he said no heroics, but he didn't say anything about no crazy." Aedan walked over to the mages who were packing they bags with potions. "Are we all set? We really need to go."

"The potions are done… we're ready," said Will as reached for his staff. Ser Perth strapped his pole-arm on his back and Wynne grabbed one of the bag of potions. Aedan nodded as he checked his gear.

"Alright… let's go."

-O-


	25. Chapter 25 Never assume you know

**Authors Note****:** It grows a bit dark in this chapter… definitely not the same as the game by any stretch of the imagination. It's the start of the Tevinter secondary plot and lays down some groundwork for the future behavior of some of the characters. As always please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!

-O-

**Chapter 25 – Never assume you know**

**Aedan**

The cool damp musty air filed his lungs as they walked down the moss covered stone passage. Aedan's eyes had adjusted to the dark, the small glowing wisps of light barely providing enough illumination for them to see. It was easy to trip over tree roots and broken stone on the ground so they walked slowly. The slow pace did nothing to help their growing anxiety, the passageway seemed endless. There was something about these tunnels that made the hair stand up on the back of his neck. It wasn't just the darkness, he felt it as soon as they neared the castle. There was an evil here and it covered everything in its dark shroud. Aedan knew his companions felt it as well, their faces grim and their eyes full of fear… but no one was more affected than Henric. If Aedan felt the wickedness of this place, Henric with his Templar senses must be overwhelmed.

Aedan glanced over at his friend in the dim light, Henric's youthful face was a mask of determination… his jaw was set but his eyes were uneasy. Aedan hoped Henric has the strength to do this, he hoped all of them did. The passageway widened into a larger area, on each side of this larger passageway were iron doors. Redcliffe's dungeons… they may not have gotten much use under the Guerrin's rule but they were no less sinister. How many wretched souls died drowning in hopelessness locked behind these iron doors?

"We need to check these," Aedan said quietly as they approached the first of the iron doors. Will sent a few wisps into the first cell, the light pushed the shadows away from the corners showing the filth, the debris. The next two cells were just as empty, nothing but piles of dirt, some broken stone. There was no sign that the cell had been used for a very long time. The next hallway was not any different, just more cells with nothing in them. It almost felt like they were walking in circles, he hoped Ser Perth knew where they were going.

"Not much farther, we are almost up to the main holding cells," whispered Ser Perth as he guided them down the passageway and an old rusty iron door. After they rounded the corner the glow of touch light could be seen at the end of the passage. They had made it, now they needed to be exceptionally careful to not draw any attention to themselves. Aedan raised his finger to his lips and motioned the others to fan out along the walls. The glow of the torches grew more intense, their eyes stung from the adjustment as they kept their slow pace towards the lit hallway. He felt his heart rate speed up as they drew near, he readied his blades and took a calming breath before he peered around the corner. Aedan was surprised to see only one guard at the end of the hallway. He watched him, the guards movements seemed stiff; irregular... he did not move like a normal man. He turned towards Will, Aedan motioned towards the guard. Will nodded and his staff started to glow. Aedan waited until he saw the glow abate and he quickly rounded the corner his blades already in motion he quickly cut down the paralyzed guard.

"Check the cells," he said quietly as the other joined him. They spread out and looked into each of the cells. Aedan had just checked the cell on his right when he heard Wynne gasp. He rushed over to her side as she pointed into the barred window of the iron door. Aedan looked into the small dark room, huddled in the corner was a woman… her hair was disheveled and dirty. It covered her face as she leaned against the wall, she wore the robes of a Circle mage. He quickly unlatched the door and Wynne rushed in to the woman on the ground, her hands glowing.

"Oh Maker its Petra!" Wynne said softly as she worked to heal the unconscious woman. "Magebane!" Wynne spat as the glow faded from her hands. Will pushed his way forward and knelt down next to Wynne.

"Here," he said reaching into the bag hung at his side. "Amara taught me how to make this… I always keep a few handy." He handed her a small vial of orange liquid. Wynne looked at him in shock.

"If the Templars ever found you with this you would have been killed," she hissed. "How long have you known about this?"

"Years Wynne… this is not the time or the place for this discussion," snapped Will. He held Petra's mouth open so Wynne could give her the potion, she began healing the unconscious woman shortly after. It didn't take long for Petra's coloring to improve and her breathing to stabilize, Aedan hoped she would wake soon, they didn't have the luxury to wait long. Will began assisting Wynne with the healing, Petra's eyes started to flutter but it took several more minutes of healing before she awoke. Her eyes snapped open and she started to scream, Will quickly covered her mouth.

"Petra its Will and Wynne from the Circle… Don't fight us!" Will said in a low hiss as he held the struggling woman down. "We're here to help." The woman's wide eyes darted wildly between Will and Wynne before she seemed to recognize them, her breathing noticeably calmed. "No screaming?" he asked. Petra shook her head so he let go slowly.

"How?" she whispered in a raspy voice.

"Petra what happened to you? Where is everyone?" asked Will as he helped her sit up.

"They have Keili… they have Keili and Bran and… and Maron," Petra started crying. "I… don't know if they are alive… It was Jowan… it was Jowan," she sobbed. Wynne rubbed her back trying to comfort the woman.

"Jowan? Are you sure?" Will asked his face hard. Petra nodded.

"I'm positive… he was the one that took us. Oh Will he's so powerful… there was nothing we could do," she cried softly.

"Where are they keeping them Petra? Where in the castle?" Aedan asked, he hoped she knew… he did not want to have to search the entire castle.

"Throne room… he has cages… that is where he keeps them," Petra said in a shaky voice.

"How could Jowan do this? How could he start a blood plague?" asked Wynne, her voice was full of doubt and disgust. "That boy could barely light a candle."

"He's changed Wynne… he's not the same boy from the Circle," Petra said, her voice full of fear. "He has control of the nobles."

"What do you mean he has control of the nobles?" asked Aedan.

"He compelled them… made them do things… horrible things," Petra whispered, fear and horror in her eyes.

"Do you know this Jowan?" he asked Will.

"He was a weasel that broke out of the Circle about five years ago… he used some blood magic on the Templars to get out. No one cared much for him... just thought he was another weak mage that resorted to blood magic to get out," Will said as he paced inside the cell.

"So do you think he could have started the blood plague?" asked Aedan. Henric joined them, his face full of worry.

"There is no telling how powerful he could be now," said Henric as he nervously paced. "We can't stay here, we need to go."

"At least we have a target now," said Aedan. "Can she walk? Send her back towards the entrance," he said to Wynne. "Murdock's men can take her to the village." He gestured towards Petra who was still sitting on the ground.

"I'm coming with you," Petra said was she wiped her eyes and slowly stood up, using the wall as support. The woman was in no condition to do much of anything, Aedan shook his head.

"I'm sorry, you need to go back… you are in no condition to help us," he said. "We can't afford to get slowed down." The mage looked at him defiantly but nodded as she took some shaky steps across the cell with Wynne's support. When they were all out Ser Perth explained the way back to the windmill to Petra and she started down the hallway using the wall to support herself. Aedan quietly pulled open the door and they entered the hallway that Perth had said led to the stairway up to the kitchen area. There was no one, the hallway was completely empty. The lack of guards worried Aedan, either someone was over confident or there was a surprise waiting for them soon. They cautiously climbed the stairs, single file hugging the walls… the door was open at the top of the stairwell. Aedan crept up and peered around the doorframe, he couldn't see any movement. The room was empty, he waved to the others to follow. The kitchen area was empty but they could tell that it had been used recently… someone was alive at least. The lingering smell of cooked food still permeated the air.

"How much farther to the throne room?" whispered Henric as they spread out and looked around the kitchen.

"Just down the hall, there is a small receiving area before the main room, we should be able to hide in there, we can see what is going on in the throne room from the shadows," said Ser Perth as he peered out the kitchen door down the hallway. He motioned the others to follow him and they quickly exited the kitchen and entered the wide hallway that led to the receiving room. Aedan started to get that feeling in his gut, there was something not right here; it started in the kitchen. He felt there was something amiss more so than the obvious, it was a nagging sense that he was walking into a trap. Aedan tried to focus but his instincts kept screaming at him.

They reached the small receiving room and started to hear voices. Ser Perth motioned them in and to be quiet. They hid in the shadows mere feet away from the throne room entrance. They were close enough now to hear the conversation in the other room.

"Wake him up," a woman's voice said, she had an Orlesian accent. "I want him to see me take his brother again."

"Really Isolde… you're getting to be quite the bore with this…" a man's voice said. Aedan looked sharply at Ser Perth who just shook his head, this didn't make sense… the Arlessa couldn't be a part of this… could she?

"It pleases me Jowan… now wake him," the woman said curtly. Aedan frowned, this can't be right…

"Very well… since it amuses you so much." They heard a strange snapping noise and a scream. "Eamon wake up… your darling wife wants you to open your eyes."

"No… no more…" a weak voice said. "Please… no more…"

"Oh Eamon… I am not even close to being done with you. You are going to suffer as I have suffered. All of these years…being married to you in this backwards country, sharing your bed… having a disgusting old husk of a man like you rutting on me! Oh the pain I have waiting for you." They heard the sound of a slap. "Wake up Eamon!" Ser Perth gave him a desperate look. They couldn't just wait here and listen to Eamon being tortured, they had to do something. Aedan waved them forward, his eyes met Henric's who gave him a quick nod… he was ready. They crept forward slowly, hiding in the shadows along the wall. None of them were prepared for the site they saw in the throne room…

Along the far way near the dais to the throne were two cages, one was empty and the other contained a man dressed in what looked like Templar armor, it was hard to tell with the amount of blood covering it. Next to the empty cage was a wooden frame, tied to it was Arl Eamon, his face bruised and bleeding and his clothes bloodied and hanging. Aedan's eyes widened as he took in the scene and his stomach twisted in disgust. Not far from the cages directly across from Eamon was a divan, laying naked on top was Bann Teagan. Isolde was standing next to him dressed in a lose robe, she was rubbing his head like she was petting a mabari. He now understood what was meant by Isolde's earlier comment. Bile was rising in his throat as Aedan tore his eyes from the disturbing scene to finish scanning the room. There were four blood thralls standing still along the wall opposite the cages. His eyes sought the throne next, sitting on it was a young man with shoulder length brown hair. That must be Jowan, Aedan thought. Jowan was wearing Eamon's ceremonial robes and he was lazily playing with a staff as he lounged on the throne. Two guards stood at the base of the dais, their helms were on so he could not see if they were bleeding like the thralls.

The odds were not in their favor, at least four thralls, two guards and a blood mage. There wasn't a lot of time to strategize, he pointed at Jowan on the throne and at the thralls and guards. They quickly worked out the order of attack and got into position, each waiting for Aedan to give the signal to attack. Henric was at his side, his sword drawn and his face full of concentration as he gathered his will to drain Jowan's mana.

"Watch me Eamon… see me with the man that should have been my husband," sneered Isolde as she loosened her robe and straddled Teagan on the divan. Jowan was distracted watching events unfold between the nobles, Aedan gave Henric the signal. All they had to do was get Jowan's mana low enough and the thralls would attack him when he loses control… this was their one shot. The sound of the smite rang across the throne room as Henric unleashed its power onto the blood mage on the throne. A split second later as they rushed into the throne room, Aedan saw Jowan crumple and fall off of the throne and onto the ground. He had his swords drawn and was rushing to take out the guards when the blood thralls charged, they didn't attack Jowan. Aedan cut down the guards and turned to see Ser Perth engage the one of the thralls with is pole-arm, Will had managed to freeze the other three in place. He started to run to Ser Perth's side when out of the corner of his eye he saw Henric go down, standing behind him was another Templar, his blade poised to finish off his friend. Aedan knew he could not reach the Templar in time.

"Will! Help Henric!" Aedan yelled as he rushed towards the Templar standing over Henric. Will had managed to push the attacker back with a spell and his blade hit the stone floor near Henric, sending sparks scattering across the ground. Aedan reached the Templar and tackled him, knocking his blade from his hand in the process.

"FOOLS!" yelled Isolde as she rushed towards them. Ser Perth managed to behead one of the thralls but the other three had started to break free from the ice Will had frozen them in, backing Will, Wynne and Perth into a small enclosure off of the main throne room. A fine red dust seemed to stream from one of the thralls, it flowed through the air and engulfed Isolde as she stood there with her arms raised chanting. Aedan was pulling his dagger out of his belt to finish off the Templar when excruciating pain started to shoot through his body. It felt like his very blood was on fire, he screamed out in pain as his body contracted and writhed on the floor.

"Don't kill them yet Isolde," said a shaky Jowan as he pulled himself back into the throne. "Let's have a bit of fun with them." The Templar pulled himself to his feet and searched for his blade, when he found it he brought it up above his head, ready to use it on Aedan. "Ser Maron, come… we don't want them dead just yet," he said casually as he leaned back in the throne. The red dust poured from another one of the thralls, it circulated through the air to Jowan. "Isolde you too." The Arlessa let down her hands and stopped the spell. Aedan felt some relief instantaneously, he rolled onto his knees and looked at the three standing before him. The Arlessa was a blood mage… he never even dreamed that was even a possibility. He could hear Ser Perth and the mages still fighting the three thralls near him in the enclosure, he tried to turn his head and look but found that he was paralyzed. Isolde sneered at him.

"I know him," Isolde hissed. "That one is the dead Teyrn's son… Aedan Cousland… Howe didn't finish the job." Jowan got up and walked down the steps of the dais towards him, his face was smug.

"Well this is interesting… you are supposed to be dead. We'll have to fix that… but not until you kill the rest of your friends. I doubt we can persuade you as easily as Maron, all we had to do was offer him the flesh of one of his mages before he killed the rest of the guard for me… poor girl… They really shouldn't make Templar's take those vows of celibacy… so much repressed anger." Jowan laughed manically as he knelt down and squinted at Aedan. "No… you'll be a bit of challenge but don't worry… I will get into that head of yours." Jowan concentrated and began muttering a spell under his breath, Aedan could do nothing but stare… his body was still frozen in place. "Oh this is definitely interesting… Isolde we have another one," he said as he stood up and took a few steps away from Aedan. "He is like the Templar in the cage… I can't get in there. This one is different though… he reeks of her. Come…" he beckoned to the Arlessa. "He is even marked by her!" Isolde came over and cast a spell on Aedan, her eyes widened and she looked at Jowan.

"What do we do?" she asked. "Do we kill him?" Jowan shook his head.

"She is our Master's bride… do you think it wise we kill her pets?" Isolde shook her head and backed farther away from Aedan. "We will cage him like the other…" Jowan said as he walked over to where Ser Perth and the mages still fought the blood thralls. "Valiant fight you are putting up there Will…" he called over the sound of metal clashing against metal and the hiss of magic in the air. "You and Wynne are the last people I expected to see here." Neither mage entertained his bating. Jowan laughed and walked back towards the throne.

"We should kill them," Isolde said as she nervously looked towards the battle on the far end of the throne room.

"Where is the fun in that? Soon the thralls will tear them apart… maybe I'll give Wynne to Maron. I don't think he'll mind the age difference… she'll just break a little sooner than the last mage," he laughed as he started to step up on to the dais again. Aedan's mind was spinning between complete despair and hopelessness over their situation and elation… they saw Amara's runes and they acted like she was alive. Maybe she didn't die in Ostagar… maybe they knew something? Maybe he was losing his mind because there was truly no hope now? They had failed, soon he would be locked up and the others would be dead, it was nothing but irony to learn that Amara might be alive. He never thought things would end like this… his eyes started to water and bitter tears rolled down his cheeks. Aedan was wishing he could close this eyes but the paralyze spell wouldn't let him, he was cursing the spell when he saw movement for just a second out of the corner of his eye. If he had the ability to blink he would have missed it. He saw that the blood mages and rogue Templar were fixated on the blood thrall battle, they would not have seen it either. A spark of hope ignited in Aedan, it was small but it was enough. He made note of where his blades had fallen and waited, he prayed to the Maker that he wasn't hallucinating.

The crackling sound of a smite echoed through the throne room just before Aedan crashed to the ground, the paralyze spell broken. He looked up just for a moment to see Isolde fall to the floor when he dived forward to grab his blades off the ground, he rushed the dais as fast as he could. The Templar Ser Maron was charging towards him, his sword raised. Aedan spun, ducking down and slashed his swords across the Templar's exposed knees. He could hear the tendons and muscles tear apart from the cuts his blades started. The man collapsed, his legs no longer able to support him. His sword skidded across the stone as the Templar fell forward. Aedan brought his blades down on the back of the man's neck severing his head, both of Aedan's blades were covered with blood when he charged the dais to the throne. Jowan stood bent in a half-standing, half-sitting position frozen in place by a paralyze spell. Aedan did not wait, he brought his blades down swiftly quickly ending the life one of the blood mages that had decimated Redcliffe. He turned ready to cut down the Arlessa only to find that the blood thralls were already on her. Judging by her limp form, Aedan knew she was already dead as the thralls tore her apart before collapsing on the ground themselves.

Aedan looked up to see Henric leaning against the wall near the receiving room, the relief apparent on his face. He was being supported by Petra, the mage they had found in the dungeons. She never went to the windmill… she must have followed them.

"You have no idea how glad I am that you didn't listen to me," Aedan said with a relieved laugh. The mage smiled and nodded, she helped lead Henric to one of the chairs near the wall before rushing back to the caged man. Will and Wynne quickly made their way to the Arl and stunned Bann while an exhausted Ser Perth stumbled over and took a hard seat on the dais next to him.

"I had no idea the Arlessa was a mage… not to mention a blood mage," Ser Perth said as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. Aedan was impressed, Ser Perth had managed to hold off those blood thralls for a long time.

"No one did… that's why they were so successful," said Aedan. Ser Perth nodded and pulled himself up, the fatigue obvious in his movements.

"I'm going to open the gates, we need to get the men in here… look for survivors and start cleaning this up." He looked at Aedan and then Henric, "thank you both… it has been an honor," he said with a bow before he left the room. Aedan sighed, he closed his eyes and leaned back, so many things were running through his head about what the blood mages said. He was so lost in his thoughts he barely noticed when the battered Templar sat down next to him on the step to the dais with Petra's help.

"I remember you… you're the warrior that was traveling with the Grey Warden Duncan. You carried Amara for me…" the Templar said. Aedan's eyes snapped open as he stared at the man sitting near him.

"Bran…" Aedan said softly. The battered young man smiled, pleased he remembered him. "Do you know what the blood mages meant when they said we've been marked?" Aedan blurted. The young Templar frowned, his eyes grew distant before he nodded.

"Yes… when they were not beating me they talked about it. It has something to do with Amara… her magic. Anyone that is around her a lot gets marked somehow… I was one of four Templars assigned to guard her for years. It made it so the blood mages couldn't mind-control me… or I would have ended up like Ser Maron," he said with a shudder. "They talked about some prophecy and a Master… I don't know what it meant. I thought they were insane… what they said was just crazy."

"What were they saying?" Aedan asked.

"They said all kinds of crazy things… about Tevinter and the old gods, some prophecy… they said Amara was the bride of their god… like I said, it was crazy talk." Aedan felt his blood run cold. "I don't know… Jowan was always fixated on her when they were in the Circle. I think the blood magic took his mind and he somehow convinced Isolde of his delusions," Bran said shaking his head.

"Was that all they said?" asked Aedan, doubts over what he saw at Ostagar and the events of the days leading up to it filled his head. The words the witch Flemeth said reverberated in his mind.

"… _**it isn't everyday a prophecy lands on your doorstep and with so many of its players."**_

Aedan remembered the morning before the Joining ritual… when he went into Amara's tent to look for her. The book, the note from Morrigan warning her about a prophecy. He remembered the conversation he had with Amara before they left to go to the ritual.

_**"The book is cryptic, the insane ramblings of a broken mind… It is full of riddles using archetypes, Morrigan said the prophecy involves me, after reading it I have no idea how." **_

The pieces all started to fit into place in his mind now. Things that have been bothering him, things that didn't seem right were now taking form. Everything was connected…

"No there is a lot more… I was in that cage for almost a week, they were not exactly discreet," said Bran as he gave Aedan a confused look. "You think this is more than insane ramblings…" Aedan nodded and pulled himself up, he looked at the two Templars and motioned towards the door.

"Let's go find something to drink… I think we all need something to drink," said Aedan as he started walking towards the doorway. He remembered where the liquor was from his past visits to Redcliffe with his family. The three men rounded the corner leading to where Eamon's meeting room was and ran into a very angry Fergus.

"What in Maker's name were you thinking? " Fergus growled, he looked like he was ready to start throwing punches again. "I said no heroics!"

"Trust me brother… there was nothing heroic about what we just faced," Aedan said as he felt his lips curl into a smirk. "Besides… you left out the stipulation of no crazy… you left me a lot of room." Fergus' face started to turn red as his hands clenched at his sides. It was obvious it was taking every bit of restraint Fergus had to keep from hitting him. Aedan raised his hands signaling his surrender. "We're ok, it worked out… no need to start punching me. I'm happy brother… happier than I've been in weeks." Fergus gave him a confused look, only a small bit of his anger defused.

"Happy for worrying the piss out of me?" he asked annoyed.

"No brother… I'm happy because I think Amara is alive!" he laughed and clasped his shocked brother's shoulder and pulled him down the hallway.

-O-

The full extent of the horrors Jowan and Isolde unleashed became clear later in the day when Eamon found his son Connor. Isolde had told him the boy was sick and that the nanny was caring for him… he never checked, that will haunt the Arl the rest of his life. When the handful of survivors that were locked in their rooms were released the grisly discovery was made. Isolde had used her own son as a sacrifice to start the blood plague. Will had found the spell in written on torn parchment next to the body… the heart of an innocent was required. She had murdered her own son and used his heart to poison the main well in the village. Just one more monstrosity to join the rest… whole families were killed in the plague, Eamon's army destroyed… an entire Arling in ruins. Aedan was having a hard time comprehending how two people could cause such destruction. If he had not witnessed everything with his own eyes he would not have believed it.

The Arl and his brother had retired for the remainder of the day, neither were in any condition to oversee the cleanup efforts, Fergus took charge like Aedan knew he would. He had the remaining soldiers and Ser Landry's men removing the dead to burying them in large mass graves that soldiers from Ostagar were digging… there were too many to burn. Henric and Bran had cleansed the wells just to make sure there were no linger effects of the blood magic spell that could harm anyone. No one drank from them, they still only drank water they knew was safe, the lake water.

Bran had told him everything he heard the blood mages say, everything that he could remember through all the beatings the man had endured. It just built onto the belief that Amara was alive, every piece of information just reaffirmed it to him. Aedan learned a lot from Bran about Amara's life in the Circle and the Templars that Greagoir had assigned to guard her. There were two he had not met, Ser Bryant and Ser Hadley… Bran said they were sent from the Circle on assignments. Ser Hadley had just returned before Bran was sent to Redcliffe with the others. Four men that could not be mind-controlled by blood magic, there had to be a purpose behind this. Aedan didn't think it was coincidence or dumb luck that it had happened. This was a giant puzzle and he only had a handful of the pieces.

He sat alone in Eamon's study reading through a pile of letters Will and Henric found in Jowan's room. There were several letters from a person called Caladrius, they were short and vague but provide enough information to draw up a rough time-line. This plan had taken root a few years ago, at least that is where Jowan's involvement began. Only seeing one side of the conversation made it difficult to get the whole picture.

"Any luck?" asked Will as he took a seat next to Aedan.

"This wasn't by chance… looks like this has been planned for a long time," Aedan said as he flipped through some of the letters and found the one that instructed Jowan to seek out Isolde and handed it to Will. "Look at the date…" Will grabbed the paper and shook his head as he read it.

"That was last spring…" Will sighed and reached into his bag that hung around his shoulder. "I found something else…" he pulled a small leather-bound book from it and dropped it on the table next to Aedan. "Is this the book Amara had?" he asked. Aedan picked up the book and opened it, he read the title.

"The Green Dales Prophecy… yes, the binding was different… hers seemed a bit thicker but that's the name. Amara said she read it the night before the Joining… that it was just the ramblings of an insane Templar," Aedan said as he flipped through the book.

"Amara was not one to dig too deep, she's more of a practical person. Amara liked her books on plants and potions and her Orlesian novels she thought that she was good at hiding from us," Will smirked at the memory. "But since she didn't have the experience of fighting through the cryptic spell books like the rest of us, she'd hate having to read a book like this."

"Everything seems to focus around this prophecy Will… everything going on with Amara and this attack," Aedan said as he reached for some blank parchment nearby. "Do you have time to go through this?" asked Aedan. Will smiled and pulled out a bottle of Antivan brandy from his bag and sat it on the table. Aedan smiled at his friend, "I take that as a yes…" Will retrieved some glasses from a shelf near the window and poured them each the first of what would end up being many glasses.

It was late in the night when they had finished, a stack of parchment laid next to them on the table. Both men just stared down at the pile of paper, neither spoke… they had unraveled the cryptic prophecy but neither truly wanted to deal with what it had said. It was Will who finally gained the courage to speak…

"Aedan…a prophecy is not an absolute. This whole thing could be just a story… those blood mages just took it literally," Will tried to reason. "There are hundreds of prophecies out there, two large bookcases are reserved for them at the Circle in fact… this one is no different." Aedan nodded, he could see Will's point… that made sense, perfect sense. It was just a story… nothing more. No matter how many times he told himself that… it didn't matter, deep down he knew it was no story.

"Let's not bring it up with the others… just wait and see. If nothing else happens we know it's not real," Aedan said, trying to keep his voice casual. Will let out a sigh of relief and nodded.

"Sure, that sounds like a plan… I'm going to turn in, I'll see you in the morning." Will got up and gathered his things before mumbling a good night as he headed to his room. Aedan sat there sipping the last of the brandy, he pulled the list of archetypes they had matched with names off of the stack of papers and stared at it… his eyes focusing on only one name.

"I'm not going to let you take her Urthemiel…" he whispered.

-O-


	26. Chapter 26 Pain, comfort and rejection

**Authors Note****:** We're back with Amara and crew for this chapter. It starts to show Alistair's decent and we pick up another character. As I said in a couple of PMs, the Alistair thing is not what you think… hang on, it's a bumpy ride. Please review and let me know what you think!

-O-

**Chapter 26 – Pain, comfort and rejection**

**Amara**

The soft green grass tickled her toes as Amara leisurely walked across the lush meadow carrying her shoes. It was a cool early summer late afternoon, the sun was starting to lower itself in the sky casting long shadows across the field. She stopped to pick a few wildflowers that grew in the shade of a tall oak tree, her long auburn hair blowing in the soft breeze. She decided to rest under the tree, the cool moss at base of the oak provided an idea place to sit. Amara laid her shoes down and leaned back against the rough bark of the trunk. She felt peace here, the tension in her mind and body drained away as she shut her eyes… this was her private paradise. If she concentrated hard enough she could bend the Fade to create this beautiful meadow from the cold shaded dream realm.

Amara realized she could do it shortly after they left Flemeth's cottage but she told no one, afraid they would tell her to stop. This was the only place she had any relief from all of the stress and problems she had to deal with when she was awake, she did not want to give this up. Amara could always bend the Fade but never to this extent, she was never able to construct something so realistic. She only change existing landscapes or tore down the disguises of demons. It just seemed right, like something she should be able to do.

Her revere was lost when she felt a presence in her special meadow. Annoyance flashed through her as she let out a heavy sigh. Some foolish and soon to be dead demon must have stumbled across her little haven in the Fade. Amara slipped her shoes back on and stood up as her eyes searched the landscape for the intruder. They were near but it was not easy to see where, whatever type of demon it was, it was strong enough to hide itself. Her eyes narrowed as she walked around the side of the tree's trunk, it was close… Amara spun around ready to confront the entity that had broken her solitude but there was nothing there. She turned to finish her search around the tree when a voice caused her to stop.

"Hello my Amara…" His rich voice caressed her ears and sent shivers down her spine. Amara felt him behind her, she did not turn to face him… she just stood there frozen, her heart beating erratically as fear and desire overwhelmed her. "I have searched for you for days…" he said softly, his hot breath on the back of her neck caused Amara to inhale sharply. Miel's arms slid under hers wrapping tightly around her waist pulling her to him. Amara felt powerless as his body pressed against hers sending a rush of heat to her very core. "I've missed you," he said as he nuzzled the side of her neck. A whimper escaped her lips as the sensations raced through her body leaving her trembling. Amara could not deny that a part of her has longed for this even though she knows what he is. The feeling she had experienced when she was with him for those five days came rushing back to her. When his lips caressed the skin on her neck, her control nearly broke as her body reacted to him. Fear surged through Amara drawing her back to her senses, the reality of what he was gave her strength she didn't know she possessed.

"No!" Amara hissed as she pulled away from him, nearly falling in her haste to put distance between them. She spun to face him, a million things flashed through her mind to say to him… the betrayal and anger she felt building inside of her. Miel stood there with confusion in his pale green eyes, his handsome face marred with a frown. He took a step towards her, his hand reaching out for her. Amara backed away, her eyes glaring at his hand as if it was a viper. "Don't," was all she could say as she continued to back away from him. He stopped and pulled his hand back, a sad understanding filled his eyes. Amara's emotions were in turmoil, she was angry, hurt, and afraid… but when she saw the sadness in his eyes she felt her heart break. Disgust at her own reaction to him made the anger burn hot within her. Bitter tears she knew she couldn't hold back anymore cascaded down her cheeks. "Did it amuse you to keep me with you those days? Did you enjoy my ignorance Urthemiel?" she sobbed, resentment and anger filled her broken voice. "Why did you toy with me? Why didn't you just take me that first night after the joining?" Miel looked like she had just slapped him, his eyes filled with regret and self-loathing.

"You were never my plaything Amara. I did not lie to you, I truly love you … more than I felt myself capable of. These feelings were not expected, in all of my existence I have never felt something so strongly," he said as he took a small step forward, his eyes pleading. "You may now only see as the beast but that is not who I am my Amara. I am the man that held you when you slept." Miel said as he placed a hand over his heart. "I am the man that cared for you in you were weakened," he said as he took another step forward. "I am the man that reveled in every sweet kiss of your lips…." He stepped again, closing the distance between them. "I am still that man here in this place…," he gestured around them, "the man that loves you with every fiber of his being." He knelt down before her and gently took hold her hands. Amara didn't fight him, his words pulled at her heart. "Please believe me Amara… your love is the only thing that gives me the strength to keep the beast away from this realm. It is the only hope that I have left… the one light in my darkness," he said despairingly, his eyes full of pain. Amara felt her resolve shatter when she saw that pain, she knew that his suffering was not a lie. She felt herself drop to her knees as she pulled her hands free from his. Amara reached out and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and pulled him to her, his head resting on her shoulder as she embraced him. He was Urthemiel… the Archdemon of the Fifth Blight but here he was just a broken man, his pain she could not ignore. Her arms pulled him tight as her cheek rested on the top of his head, his arms wrapped around her waist, holding on to her as if she would disappear at any moment. His hands clutched the fabric of her dress as Amara felt his body start to tremble. She pulled him tighter and kissed the top of his head as Miel's tears soaked through the shoulder of her dress. She couldn't abandon him, she knew that now… he was a part of her as much as she was of him… their fates were joined in this madness.

"There is so much darkness, it hurts Amara… it never stops hurting. I cannot escape the corruption. It is devouring me Amara… every day I am less… every day it takes more away from me," he whispered hoarsely. Amara felt her eyes sting as her tears started to fall again, she wished she could fix this … more than anything she just wanted to take his pain away. Why did this have to happen to them? They could have been so happy, she thought. Amara started to gently rub his back as she left soft kisses in his hair, without thinking about it her magic ignited. A warm blue glow spread from under her finger tips as they trailed through his hair and down his back, she felt him relax in her arms. Miel shifted and laid his head down on her lap, his arm still wrapped tightly around her thighs. Amara rested her hand on his forehead as her other continued to gently caress his back, her magic adding to her soft touch. Amara felt her heart ache for Miel, hopelessness filled her, she desperately wanted to help him. She watched as his worried brow relaxed and his pale green eyes wet with tears fluttered closed, from his even breathing she knew he had drifted off into a deep sleep. Soon he would awaken back in the Deep Roads trapped in his dragon form, back to the agony and madness and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Amara looked down at his face, so peaceful and handsome in his slumber, she gently caressed his cheek… it all became too much for her then and she quietly wept, the pain and longing wrenching at her heart. Amara stayed there with him under the oak tree for what seemed like hours. She wanted to stay longer to comfort him, to just to be with him… then it was ripped away from her in an instant.

"Amara… wake up, it's your watch," called Alistair.

-O-

She threw her blanket off and sat up, Amara felt the dampness on her face and reached a cautious finger up and wiped some of the drying tears away.

"Are you ok?" asked Alistair, his voice full of concern as he hovered over her. Amara quickly wiped the rest of the tears away from her puffy eyes.

"I'm fine," she said shortly as she got up from her bedroll and headed for the small camp fire. Alistair followed behind her much to her chagrin, all she wanted was to be left alone. Seeing Miel in the Fade had bothered her and left her feeling exhausted. She just wanted time to think about what just happened. "I said I was fine Alistair," she said more curtly this time hoping he would take the hint and leave her be. He seemed to hesitate for a moment but then took a seat near the fire. Amara sighed a stared at the dancing flames, Miel's words haunting her. They made her think about so many thing she tried to bury since leaving Flemeth's cottage.

"Nightmares? It's common for Grey Wardens to have them… especially during a Blight," Alistair said. "I see the Archdemon sometimes… a large black dragon." Amara had to stifle a bitter laugh… her dreams about the Archdemon were a bit different. He looked at her expectantly as if waiting for her to tell him about her dream.

"You can go to sleep, I can take over the watch," Amara said abruptly, she did not wish to discuss it with him, he would not understand… no one would. Amara waited for him to leave but he didn't, he just quietly sat there watching the fire. Amara did her best to ignore him, she got up and retrieved the small copper pot nearby and returned to her tent for the herbs she needed for some tea. She felt some of her annoyance fade as she busied herself with mixing the herbs she needed to make a strong tea. A glance out of the corner of her eye confirmed he was still sitting by the fire where she had left him.

"Is there something you need Alistair?" she asked as she poured some water into the pot and hung it over the fire. She returned to her seat a few feet away from Alistair next to the small fire. He gave her a shy smile and reached into the bag that hung at his waist.

"I have something for you," he said as he moved closer to her. "I found it in Lothering the other day…" Amara gave him a puzzled look, they haven't really had a chance to talk since they left Lothering. She watched as he pulled a beautiful red rose from the bag and held it out to her, Amara just stared at it. She didn't know how to react or what to say. "I found it by growing by the smithy in Lothering… I thought, how could something so beautiful grow in a place full of such suffering and ugliness? In a lot of ways it reminds me of you… someone so beautiful should not have to face all of the ugliness of this world alone… Anyway, I wanted you to have it… as a token of my affection," he said nervously as he leaned closer holding the rose out to her. Amara's throat was suddenly painfully dry and she felt her stomach twist into knots.

"Alistair… I can't accept this," she said sadly. "It wouldn't be right…" She watched the confusion and hurt play out on his face.

"I don't understand… what do you mean it wouldn't be right?"

"Aedan just died a few weeks ago…" she said softly. "You are a dear friend to me Alistair… it just wouldn't be right," she tried to explain.

"But at the bears… I know you felt that. Maker Amara… I know you felt that… attraction" he argued. Amara shook her head.

"What we felt was just the pull of the bond... it took our friendship warped it into something that it's not. Please understand Alistair… it's not what you think. You are my friend… I'm just not ready for anything like that… not after Aedan or Miel." She hoped that would be enough for him, she really didn't want to get into what happened in the Fade tonight. Alistair just sat there, his face tense as he stared at the fire.

"Wow… so the Archdemon had more of a chance with you than someone like me?" he said finally. "I can understand Aedan… a noble from Highever. How could I ever compete with someone like that? But now he is gone… that just leaves just the Archdemon. I actually thought I had a shot against an evil dragon… I guess not," he stood up angrily and threw the rose into the fire. Amara flinched as the flower burst into green flames as the spell preserving the rose burned away. She was left speechless by Alistair's outburst, she just stared at him, her eyes wide with shock. Alistair waited for a moment for her to say something when she didn't he glared at her, "figures…" he said as he spun around and walked off into the trees. Amara pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, holding herself tight. She stared into the fire and watched as the rose started to burn away, tears started to roll down her cheeks as the delicate petals blackened and withered in the flames.

-O-

"There are several people ahead, just over the rise," Amara said to Lena as they walked down the muddy road. Early morning rains had not only soaked everything she owned but it had turned the road into a slick mess that covered her boots and the bottom of her cloak. It just added to her already foul mood due to lack of sleep. Alistair had not returned until well after her watch ended last night. She laid awake in her tent worried about him, hoping that he was ok. She also hoped that when he got back he would be the normal happy Alistair. When they gathered for breakfast he wouldn't even look at her, he was obviously still upset so she decided to not press the issue and left him alone. It made her feel alone and awkward, she had gotten use to his company since Ostagar. Throughout the morning the tension continued to build especially after an argument between Lena and Alistair. Amara wished she gone with Ser Bryant at this point, he had offered to escort her to Redcliffe. She could have taken a boat to the Circle from there... a far better option than this.

"Anything else?" asked the elf as she pulled her bow out from under her cloak. Amara closed her eyes and listened to the babbling of the trees, they were exceptionally vague this morning.

"A wagon… it's broken. That's about as much information as we are going to get," she said apologetically. Lena nodded as she readied her bow.

"It's better than walking into it blindly," she said with a shrug. She waved the others forward, Amara fell in next to Morrigan as they started to climb the muddy hill.

"You did the right thing," the witch said quietly. Amara knew Morrigan had overheard the encounter with Alistair last night. Thankfully Morrigan didn't finish her statement with an 'I told you so'… she was in no mood for her rancor today. Amara just glanced over at her and nodded.

"I know but I feel horrible," Amara said as she pulled her hood down since the rain had stopped. "I never expected him to act like that. He was so angry… he still is."

"'Tis the bond… it amplifies things. He'll be fine in a couple days once his mediocre mind understands 'tis for the best," Morrigan said dismissively. She pulled her staff from her shoulder as they started to crest the hill. They reached the top of the small hill and were able to see what awaited them. A small covered wagon was off to the side of the road, one of the wheels was removed. There were several people walking around the area a few were working on the wheel while others idly standing under the trees. One person stood out, a tall handsome elf with golden hair and dark red cloak was standing in the center of road. He seemed to be the one in charge, he was giving orders to the others. He turned when he saw them approaching and rushed over to meet them.

"Hello my friends!" he said as he reached them. He was dressed in a fine tunic and leathers, it seemed inappropriate for travel, especially on a muddy desolate road. "We appear to be having a bit of wagon trouble on this fine morning," he said flashing them a charming grin. Amara couldn't help but feel relaxed in his presence, his smile was contagious. The only thing that bothered her was that his eyes seemed to study them, it unnerved Amara a bit when his eyes landed on her and lingered before moving to Alistair. She watched as his smile broadened as he looked at her fellow Grey Warden. "Alistair? Is that you?" he asked. Alistair nodded and pulled his helm off. This struck Amara as being odd, this fancily dressed elf didn't seem like someone Alistair would know.

"Hello Zevran," he said as he shook the elf's hand. "I thought you were taking the south road?" Alistair gave him a puzzled look. "How did you get ahead of us? I thought you were not leaving Lothering for a couple days…" Zevran smiled and shook his head.

"After my adventures with our lovely barmaid I decided to leave after I heard about the evacuation orders. The south road was too full, it is good we came north… after these rains the south road would have been impassible," he said pointing down at the mud. Alistair nodded and led Zevran towards the rest of the group and started introducing him to their companions. Amara noticed that several of the strangers that were near the wagon were now watching them intently. She stepped behind Argos trying to make herself less noticeable, for some reason the stares from the elf's companions made her nervous. Alistair stopped several paces away from her and gestured towards her.

"That's Amara," he said dismissively, his voice still hard. Amara frowned at his tone, she reached out to shake Zevran's hand. The elf gave Alistair a confused look and shrugged, he took ahold of her hand and brought it to his lips.

"Ah the lovely Amara," Zevran said after he brushed a lingering kiss across her knuckles causing her to blush. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you… and I must say your beauty was grossly understated," he said while giving her an intense look. Amara felt flustered at such a comment and direct look from a stranger.

"Uh thank you… I think," she stammered. Zevran laughed merrily and gave her a charming smile while tucking her arm around his as he led her towards the wagon. Amara caught a glimpse of Alistair out of the corner of her eye as they walked past, he made no attempt to hide his anger, his mouth twisted into a sneer. She quickly looked away, unsure who exactly he was angry at… her or Zevran.

"My lovely Amara, I have a favor to ask you if I may be so bold," he said as he slowly led her away from her companions. "Alistair mentioned you were a healer… I happen have a helper that damaged their ankle while trying to pull the wagon out of rut. Do you think that you could heal them for me? I would be in your debt…" he said as they neared the wagon. Amara smiled at him and nodded.

"Of course, I will heal them and you will not owe me anything… I don't charge for healing," she said.

"Oh but I am very flexible on the many ways you may wish to be paid for your services," he said suggestively giving her another intense look. Amara felt her cheeks burn she quickly diverted her eyes and looked down at her boots.

"Uh… that won't be necessary. Just show me the gentleman needs my help," she muttered uncomfortably. Zevran chuckled and waved her over to the wagon.

"Here we are my dear… is there anything that you need from me?" he asked as he started to pull open the canvas at the back of the wagon. Amara shook her head and pulled her green herb bag from her shoulder.

"No I should be fine…" Amara felt a sharp pain in the side of her neck. Her hand immediate went to her the source… her fingers found a thin dart protruding from the side of her neck. A burning sensation spread down the side of her neck to her arm and chest. She quickly pulled the dart out and looked at Zevran who just stood there smiling at her.

"My apologies dear Amara... a job is a job," he said with a shrug. Amara fell to her knees as the burning spread throughout her body. She was completely unaware of the fighting that had erupted around her, the only thing she could focus on was the pain. Amara reached down and grabbed handfuls of the grass by her knees and started to draw power from the ground. Her magic burst to life encasing her entire body in a bright blue light, she felt the burning pain ebb away.

"Impossible!" Zevran said as he reached into his belt and pulled out a small dagger. He came at her quickly attempting to cut her with the blade. Amara focused her power on the elf, she threw him back into the side of the wagon then froze him in place. She stood up and looked at him, his eyes were wide with fear as he stood paralyzed before her. Amara looked around the area at the others… they had been outnumbered but were quickly dispatching the attackers. Amara turned to find Morrigan lying on the ground, she could see the tip of a dart imbedded in her neck. Amara bent down and picked up the dart that was in her own neck moments before. She smelled the tip… Magebane! With the flick of her wrist the dart was pulled from Morrigan's neck and dropped to the ground. A blue glow settled over Morrigan as Amara removed the poison from her blood. She turned her attention to the remaining men… one by one they fell to the ground, their necks broken… she did as Morrigan had suggested that one night by the fire. Amara looked at the elf before her, she was ready to do the same to him but she needed to know why.

"Who are you?" she asked as relaxed her hold on him… allowing him to speak. Before she could get any answers from their prisoner Alistair rushed to her side spinning her to face him and grabbing her arms.

"Amara! Are you ok? I'm so sorry!" he babbled pulling her into a rough embrace, he was barely coherent. She tried to push away, his armor was digging into her skin but he still held her tight. "I was worried… I'm so sorry." He had a frenzied look in his eyes as he held on to her.

"Alistair you are hurting me, please let me go," she groaned as she tried to push him away again, this time with her magic… it didn't work. Why didn't it work? Alistair face blanched when he realized what he was doing and let go of her immediately.

"I'm sorry Amara… I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry…" Lena pushed her way past the others to stand next to Amara.

"Yeah we get it Alistair… your sorry. Now move!" she snapped as she shoved him. She pulled her dagger out and held it to Zevran's neck. "I think you have some questions to answer… I'm sure you know the drill," Lena said as she glared at the blond elf.

"My life is already forfeit… why should I tell you anything if that is what you are bargaining with?" Zevran said as he smirked at Lena. "I find that I tend to be more cooperative if I have a reason to be…" Lena's eyes narrowed at the elf.

"What do you want?" she asked. Zevran smiled at her.

"My life and my freedom of course… anything less and you get nothing from me," he said with a schooled grin on his face.

"Just kill him… this is pointless," quipped Morrigan.

"What do I get in return?" asked Lena as she toyed with her dagger in her hand.

"A name," he said and then he smiled. "And a Crow that is in your service…" Amara heard Leliana gasp.

"Why would the Antivan Crows attack us? Who here could have that kind of mark?" Leliana asked, her voice was uneasy. Amara frowned, she had no idea what a 'crow' was other than the bird.

"A crow?" she whispered to Leliana.

"They are a group of highly trained Antivan assassins… some say the best in Thedas," she explained. Amara felt her stomach fall… who could they want? Amara watched as Lena pursed her lips, she could tell that the elf was considering the assassins offer.

"Alright deal," she said nonchalantly and turned to walk away.

"Have you lost your mind?" yelled Alistair. "He just tried to kill Amara and you are just going to let him go."

"Oh I wasn't trying to kill her my brawny friend… I was attempting to capture her. She is my mark…" said the Crow. "I will tell you more if you let me go…" Before anyone could argue Amara let him go. He stretched his arms and sighed in relief. "Many thanks…"

"Why did you try to capture me?" Amara asked, she was in shocked that anyone would single her out.

"You my lovely mage are a wanted woman… a very rich, very well connected magister named Aurelian Titus has a contract out for your capture," he said. "We do not get many Tevinter contracts like this… I see now why you are wanted. I have never had Magebane fail to render a mage incapacitated. You my lovely Amara are quite special… your contract was one of the highest in Crow history." Amara was shocked, why would some magister from Tevinter want her?

"I don't understand why anyone would do that… how would they even know who I am?" she asked, her voice full of apprehension. Zevran just shrugged.

"We do not ask why when we take a contract…" he said as he walked over to Lena and bowed. "I am in your service my lovely Grey Warden… what would you like me to do for you… or to you?" he said with the wag of his eyebrows. Lena just stared at him before she gave him a measured smile.

"I'd like you to guard Amara," she said. "If you try anything again I will have her snap your neck like your companions here." Amara thought she saw a hint of worry flicker across his eyes before he nodded and smiled at Lena.

"I will guard her with my life," he said gallantly as he bowed. This did not make Amara feel any better… the assassin made her uncomfortable with all his stares and suggestive remarks.

"No absolutely not!" Alistair bellowed. "Amara already has someone to guard her… she doesn't need one that will try to kidnap her at his first chance."

"Don't be an idiot Alistair," Lena hissed. "If that contract is as big as he said we'll need all the help we can get to protect her. Besides who better to guard against the Crows than a Crow."

"We can't trust him!" Alistair said in a low voice, there was an edge of panic to it.

"Do you even know anything about Crows?" she asked her voice weary with annoyance. "He failed so he's as good as dead with the Crows… staying with us is the only thing he can do until the contract runs its course."

"And when is that?" asked Alistair.

"Until the lovely Amara is dead or brought to Titus… Or when Titus is dead… until then she is at risk," said Zevran. Alistair threw his arms up in the air.

"This is great… just great," he muttered as he pushed past the others. In a way Amara could understand why he was upset but Lena did make sense. She doubted anything would make Alistair see reason or calm down at this point.

"Well my lovely Amara… it seems like we are going to be spending a lot of time together no?" said Zevran as he slinked up next to her. Amara turned and glared at him.

"Let's get a couple things straight… I don't appreciate the stares and the innuendos… so stop. If you don't… just know necks are not the only things I can snap," she said as gave the elf a pointed look. Zevran held his hands up in surrender.

"Very well my Lady… I will mind my manners. Can you come to the wagon? There actually are people inside that could use your healing." Amara raised her eyebrow at him. "I do not lie my Lady… it is the two dwarves I stole the wagon from… they have a bump the head," he said reluctantly. "Ok, maybe more than just one bump." Zevran led her over to the wagon and pulled back the canvas and climbed inside. Amara walked to the end of the wagon and peered inside, there were two dwarves tied up laying in the back of the wagon. Zevran cut their bonds and ungagged them, Amara immediately sent a wave of healing to them. The younger dwarf sat up and looked at her…

"Enchantments?" he muttered before passing back out.

-O-


	27. Chapter 27 A change of plans

**Authors Note****:** I was thinking a while ago how something like the whole champion bond would affect someone that had issues like Alistair… I thought it would be interesting to explore it and see where it went. I always thought Alistair had a lot of baggage that wasn't addressed in the game with his childhood and his father. I also needed a way to push Amara to a different place as well or she'd get boring. I also had been neglecting Lena a bit, she needed to get back into the mix, giving all the characters in a multi-origin their time has been a challenge. Hope you enjoy how things are progressing. Please review and let me know. Thanks for reading!

-O-

**Chapter 27 – A change of plans**

**Alistair**

Alistair watched as Amara laughed at something the elf said… she smiled at the assassin even though just a couple days ago the man tried to kidnap her. All evening he watched as she talked to the Ash warrior about plants that grew in the Wilds… she sat close to him showing him herbs from her bag, she didn't need to be that close. He listened to her conversation with the Qunari about the Qun as they walked down the narrow road to the Circle tower, she seemed eager to learn more about this stranger… too eager. Somehow these men were worthy of her time… but not him.

Ever since Ostagar it had been him that has been there for her. It was him that she needed… he was bonded with her, not the others. He was her champion… he wore her marks on his palms. She was supposed to be with him now… he knew that with every fiber of his being. That day in the field outside of Lothering just confirmed it for him. When he touched her it was ecstasy, he had never felt anything like that before and all he wanted now was to feel it again. His biggest regret was not kissing her that day… if he would have taken that step she would be his right now, he just knew it. Instead he was a coward… afraid he would mess something up, he thought that being a gentleman would win her over. That was his mistake… he did not take what was his and now she was slipping away from him.

Why wasn't he good enough? She hardly knew Aedan before taking him as her lover… After all the time that they've spent together since Flemeth's cottage she can't even accept a rose from him? His anger started to rise when he thought about that stupid flower. He wasn't asking anything from her other than to allow his affections… why couldn't she just let him love her? That was all he wanted anymore… just to love her. He couldn't stop thinking about it… the way her body felt pressed against his when her magic was flowing through them. Even now, just the thought of it sends shivers down his spine and causes his armor to feel too tight. He couldn't get that feeling or the sounds from that night at the inn on the way to Ostagar out of his head. Now they were inseparable in his mind. He remembered every moan as if it was caused by his touch… Every time she cried out in pleasure it was because he made her… And every time she pleaded for her release it was him that she begged. It played though his mind constantly, over and over again. Now that he had a tiny taste of what it must feel like to make love to her with the bond… he had to have her, it was all he could think about. The treaties didn't matter… the Blight didn't matter… none of it, only Amara mattered. Next time he wouldn't be a coward, next time he wouldn't be the gentleman. Next time he wouldn't give her the opportunity to resist the bond… next time he will take what is his.

"Ow! Damn it Alistair! Watch where you are going!" yelped Lena as she bent down to rub her heel that he had just stepped on. Alistair looked at her with impassive eyes.

"Why don't you walk faster?" he said rudely. "We need to get to the Spoiled Princess before dark…" Lena's eyes narrowed at him, normally this would cause him to flinch, not anymore.

"What's gotten into you lately? Where is all this attitude coming from?" she asked pointedly. "You've gone from being a doormat to a colossal prick in the matter of a couple days… What is going on with you?"

"Maybe I'm sick of being treated like I'm not good enough? Or maybe I'm tired of being pushed around by you," he said as he glared at Lena. Alistair had never once stood up to Lena in the year that he's known her. Frankly, he was tired of her sarcastic and often rude comments… and it was her fault the assassin was now accompanying them too. Lena's eyes widened at this comments but then quickly narrowed.

"Not good enough? Pushed around? Where did that come from? If you look around Alistair we don't exactly discriminate with our merry little band here…" she said as she gestured at the rest of their companions who had continued down the road several paces.

"Right… well we have you to thank for that don't we?" he sneered.

"Oh I see what this is about… really Alistair? You're going to be that petty over this? We need the assassin," she said as she shook her head. "We are going to need all the help that we can get against the Crows."

"You're taking him to Orzammar," he stated as he pushed past her.

"No… he goes where Amara goes. Unless you want her snatched up and delivered to the Titus shem you better get your head out of your ass about this Alistair. Don't let your ego or whatever this is cloud your judgment… "

"Whatever this is? I'm trying to protect her!" he yelled. "I'm her champion not you! She is my responsibility! Quit interfering!" Lena took a step back and stared at him. Her gaze shifted quickly into a glare.

"I don't know what is going on in that head of yours but you seem to have forgotten that I am the senior Warden here. This is not a democracy… you will do as you are told. I don't care two shits about your self-appointed Amara champion nonsense. The assassin will accompany us to the Circle as her guard, end of discussion."

"Us? You're going to Orzammar…" he argued.

"I think I'll stick around until we are done at the Circle…" she said as she started to walk away.

"But you said…" Alistair started.

"Yeah I know what I said… and now I'm saying I'm coming to the tower with you," Lena said, leaving Alistair behind on the road as she rejoined the others. If there ever was a time when Alistair wanted… no, needed to kill something, it was now. Great… now Lena is going to the Circle… It just kept getting worse and worse. He looked up the path and saw Amara standing there, she was watching him with concern. As soon as their eyes met she quickly looked away and started walking down the trail with the others. Alistair heart fell when she turned away… just a few days ago she would have been at his side asking him if he was alright… now she couldn't bother. He felt the anger start to rise to the surface again… it always seemed to be there now… lingering. He would make her understand… make her care again. They were bonded… she couldn't resist it forever.

-O-

**Lena**

That didn't just happen… Alistair had just tried to tell her what to do. Not once but multiple times… he was even belligerent to a point, puffing out his chest and invading her personal space. That didn't just happen… There was something seriously wrong but she didn't know what. Could non-mages get possessed? She had never heard of it happening but the way Alistair was acting, it sure seemed like there was someone else in his head. Lena tried to remember if Will had ever mentioned it before but came up with nothing.

She had known Alistair ever since Duncan the Butcher had brought him to Denerim with him well over a year ago. He seemed nice, annoying but nice none the less. Honestly Lena never paid much attention to him, he was just the guy that followed Duncan around like a puppy. And since Duncan was one of her least favorite people, she was never around him or Alistair. It wasn't until that night when they were recruiting in Amaranthine that she got to know him… well the night he had a few too many pints in him and told her his entire sordid life story. Thanks to being the person unlucky enough to be sitting next to him, she now knew about how his mother died, how he was a bastard… his father was the King but he was left with the Arl of Redcliffe. Thanks to the Arl's jealous wife he had to live in the stables while he was a child. Then he was sent to the Chantry where Duncan saved him and made him a Grey Warden. The man was just a mess… his life had been a series of rejections… one right after another. Lena had felt nothing but pity for the man… it helped explain a lot of things about him. His hero worship of Duncan… his inability to take charge… it all stemmed from being rejected and abandoned as a child… but pity only goes so far.

His behavior now was so out of character that she was pondering a demon possession. Ever since she awoke in the Wilds to find herself with Alistair and the two mages she had noticed changes in him. He was very protective of Amara… obsessive even, honestly she didn't understand why the woman tolerated it. It annoyed her to just watch him hover around the mage. Then he blackmailed her with guilt to get her to travel with them for the treaties. Lena couldn't believe it when he did it… she never thought him capable of it. She had been angry about it… she still was but really it was better she was here. Especially now that his behavior has gotten worse. If Will was alive she knew that she would find him, a delay wouldn't prevent that.

Lena was still awake that night when the mage rejected him. For a brief moment she actually felt bad for Alistair… she knew how hard it must have been for him to even get the courage to give the rose to her. Amara was not cruel, what she said made complete sense… she had just lost her love at Ostagar, she was still grieving, she didn't want anyone. Lena had met Aedan… he was everything that Alistair was not, confident, a leader… he was just someone that seemed very comfortable in their skin. If he had any issues he kept them well hidden unlike Alistair who practically wore a sign around his neck. Will had liked him, he said he was good for Amara who he considered to be like a little sister to him. She remembered her last conversation with Will in their tent the morning of the Joining when she was getting ready to go on that last patrol. He mentioned he had to have a talk with Alistair about his interest in Amara… he said that he was not very discreet about liking her… he worried that Alistair would cause problems for Aedan and Amara. Will was right about one thing… Alistair was causing problems.

Her gut was warning her that this was not a just simple boy meets girl, girl rejects boy then the boy ends up at the Pearl scenario. Alistair was too angry… rejected angry men were always trouble. There were too many holes, things that didn't make sense… this champion business for one. There was one person that could fill in those holes. Lena picked up her pace to catch up with the others. Amara was walking next to the assassin… he was telling her about Antivan when she caught up with them.

"We need to talk…" she said abruptly when she reached Amara's side. The startled mage just nodded, there was no point in beating around the bush… "Just a minute," she said. Lena walked over to where Sten and Argos were helping pull along Bodahn's wagon. "We're taking a break," she announced. "Get something to eat." She turned to go back to Amara when she ran into an impatient Alistair, his face full of disapproval.

"The Circle tower is just over there…" he said pointing at the tower rising from the lake. Lena gave him a hard look.

"Really? I had no idea what that giant phallic symbol was sticking out of the lake," she said sarcastically. "I am well aware of where the tower is Alistair... and it isn't going anywhere. We need a break so we are taking one," she said as she grabbed an apple off the back of the wagon and walked back to Amara and Zevran leaving the angry and flustered Alistair behind. "Come on," she beckoned for them to follow as she walked off into the trees. She looked at Zevran, "I need you to run interference if anyone tries to come over here… especially Alistair. Got it?"

"But of course my lovely Warden," he said with a bow and walked back to the side of the road.

"Let's go in farther, I don't want the others listening in," Lena said as she walked farther into the trees.

"I can make it so our conversation isn't overheard," Amara said as she followed behind her. Of course… Lena forgot mages could do that. She led Amara over to a little grove of trees that had soft grass for them to sit. Lena sat under one of the trees and beckoned for Amara to do the same. She watched as the mage's eyes seemed to glow for a second, a faint green mist formed around them then disappeared. "Ok, all set. What is this about Lena?" asked Amara as she fidgeted with her robe. Lena took a deep breath before responding.

"I know that you are no normal mage… obviously. You healed me of the taint, something I've never heard of before. I've tried to not get involved because I thought we'd be parting ways today… but that has changed," she said. "So why don't you start from the beginning. Tell me everything… why are you different? How are you connected to the Witch of the Wilds? And why does Alistair keep babbling about being your champion?" Amara seemed shocked at first by her questions, Lena never really talked to the mage before… now she wanted to know everything. Amara let out a sigh and started telling her about how her magic worked, how she didn't need spells. Lena was amazed, after being with Will for so long she had grown use to his spell chanting under his breath. It wasn't until she mentioned it that Lena realized she had never seen Amara chant a spell. Not needing lyrium surprised her as well, Will always had bottles of the stuff around. It didn't strike her as too odd to have a mage with different magic, she was use to the Dalish Keepers who used magic completely different that Circle mages. It was when Amara started talking about the Joining and the Archdemon that things became unbelievably strange.

"After Flemeth rescued us from the Tower of Ishal, I had used too much of my magic… to the point where it drained me to near death. I was out for several days, I spent those days with Miel in his realm." Lena gave her a questioning look.

"Miel?" she asked, she saw Amara blush.

"Urthemiel… he is the god that is the Archdemon," she said casually. As if everyone knew this… "I spent those days with him. I didn't know who or what he was at the time," she said sadly. "He just told me he had been waiting for me and that I was his mate."

"Wait… so you're telling me the Archdemon is a man in this other realm… and he's your mate? I don't think I need to tell you just how crazy that is right?" Lena scoffed. "Different magic I can understand… this bond you had with Aedan, sure I can see mages bonding others to them…blood mages do it all the time. But the Archdemon? I have to draw the line somewhere…"

"He wasn't always the Archdemon, he didn't asked to be corrupted and turned into an abomination," Amara said defensively. Amara's anger startled her… then she remembered something else Alistair said at the fire that night…

_**"Wow… so the Archdemon had more of a chance with you than someone like me?"**_

Lena looked at the woman sitting across from her, she didn't look crazy… even though what she said sounded completely insane. Northing was normal with Amara, Lena was learning that real quick… she healed the taint… she snapped the necks of five men without as much as a wave of her hand. Maybe, just maybe there was truth to what she was saying about the Archdemon.

"Ok… let's skip over the whole Archdemon mate thing... How did Alistair get involved with this?" asked Lena, she still couldn't wrap her mind around the whole Archdemon thing.

"When they told me who Miel was I had a breakdown…" Amara said as she stared down at her hands.

"Understandably so…" commented Lena dryly. A breakdown would seem like an understatement if she had been in the mages place.

"Well I was not bonded to anyone when it happen… if I'm not bonded it's easy for Urthemiel to get into my head. So I needed someone to bond with… I needed another champion, Flemeth's wards couldn't keep Urthemiel away. Alistair was the only person available… So Flemeth helped set up a bond with Alistair. I didn't want it… the bond has a way of messing things up," Amara said quietly. Lena felt her eyebrow rise.

"Really? How so?" she asked. Here we go…

"The bond amplifies what you are feeling… especially in intimate situations," the mage blushed. "Aedan and I discovered that by accident."

"So… if your mad?" Lena asked, it all started to make sense.

"Then you are in a rage…" Amara said sadly. "Even Aedan reacted badly to it after a while."

"What happened to him?" asked Lena, she wondered if it was similar to what was going on with Alistair. Amara wrung her hands.

"He was jealous of Alistair… for no reason. It was horrible, he told me to stay away because he thought Alistair wanted me. We got into a fight and he basically accused me of being a whore who went from one man to another… I have only been with Aedan, he was my first," Amara said as she looked away in embarrassment.

"What happened after he accused you?" Lena pressed.

"I slapped him and told him to leave… we didn't talk for over a day. During that time Flemeth broke the bond and he was back to normal… we made up but then he died at the battle," Amara said softly, her eyes full of pain. "I really don't want to talk about it anymore…" she said as a few rogue tears fell down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away and looked away. Lena felt bad, she knew just how raw it felt when she thought of Will.

"I'm sorry I pushed but I wanted to know if you Aedan's response was violent," Lena apologized.

"No never. Aedan would never hurt me… never," Amara said firmly. Amara narrowed her eyes at Lena. "Why are you asking questions about this? Alistair's not going to hurt me either… he's just angry. The bond takes your emotions and jumbles them all up… he will be fine after he calms down. Once we get to the Circle we all can relax for a couple days," Amara said dismissively. After a few moments she sighed and looked at Lena, her eyes full of concern. "Alistair's behavior has been bothering me lately. I don't think he would hurt me, he's just so angry and it's because of me. I wish I could break the bond but if I do then that leaves me vulnerable to Urthemiel." Amara looked away, her eyes distant. "I'll asked Irving about it when we get to the Circle… maybe he can help. I can't leave it like this." Lena nodded, she still felt uneasy about Alistair but at least the mage was going to do something about it.

"Perhaps you are right… just do me a favor dear Amara, do not go off by yourself. Alistair has a lot of baggage… he doesn't handle things well, especially rejection," Lena said, her tone was serious. Amara stared at her for a moment then nodded.

"I'll be careful," she said.

"Good, we should get going… I've seen Leliana peek around that tree three times already… Zevran hasn't done a very good job keeping people away," Lena said as she rolled her eyes. "If we leave now we should be at the docks in a couple hours." Amara dropped the barrier and they headed back to the others. Lena had hoped finally having a conversation with Amara would set her mind at ease about Alistair but it just made things worse. This bond was definitely the main reason for his behavior, there was no denying that. She hoped the Circle mages could help… she really wished Will was here with her now, he would know what to do. He always did…

-O-

**Amara**

They finally arrived at the Spoiled Princess, it hadn't changed at all since the last time she saw it…but it hadn't been all that long ago that she was here with Aedan. She remembered how Aedan stayed close to her after they got off the ferry, he knew she was afraid to leave the tower. His comforting words echoed in her mind.

_**"Everything is going to be alright, you are not alone in this remember. We are in this together."**_

Amara frowned, the pain that she had been suppressing since waking up after Ostagar started to creep to the surface. She did her best not to think about him… it was just easier to not think.  
The conversation with Lena brought him to the forefront of her mind again and it hurt. They entered the small inn, the smell of stale ale and piss assaulted her nose, Amara remembered the conversation with Aedan and her eyes sought out the table they sat at when they were waiting for Duncan. She closed her eyes and remembered Aedan leading her to the table, she remembered his smile when she agreed to trying ale at the next pub. Most of all she remembered the way he just held her hand before they left.

_**"Remember, we're in this together right?"**_

Her eyes snapped open and looked at the empty table, the feeling of loss was nearly overwhelming. Amara struggled to regain control over her emotions… she felt like she was just here with Aedan. It had been so easy to not think when they were on the road, she had not paid attention that well on the trip to Ostagar. Her and Aedan spent the majority of time just talking, she never bothered to look beyond his eyes most of the trip south. Now that she was in places familiar, places they had been together… it was nearly impossible to not think of him.

"I guess I never take that sip…" she whispered as she remembered their talk about ale. She needed some air… Amara quietly stepped behind the others and was out the door before anyone noticed her. She pulled her cloak around her tight as she walked down to the docks, she reached the shore of the lake and stared out the looming tower. Back already, she didn't know how to feel about that. Everything was so complicated now, a part of her longed for her simpler life behind those stone walls. The other part never wanted to step foot in that oppressive building that somehow smothered her magic. Amara wondered if her magic would still feel as constrained as it did before she left. She wandered over to where the boats were and saw a familiar face.

"Kester!" she called causing the ferryman to jump. He gave her a look that was full of fear, he quickly rushed to her side

"Milady! You shouldn't be here… you need go before the other Templars get here," he said as he tried to pull her back towards the inn.

"Wait! We're here on Grey Warden business… we need to see Greagoir and Irving," she said as she pulled away from his grip.

"There ain't nothing the Grey Wardens can do here…" he looked around to see if there was anyone around to hear him. "They've called for a Right of Annulment Milady… they've sealed the tower until more Templars from Denerim can get here." Amara gasped, she was horrified.

"No they can't! Why would they do such a thing?" she asked, panic was starting to settle in.

"The tower was overran by blood mages and demons… Greagoir sent me to this side of the lake. He told me to let no one across unless it's the Templars… that was three days ago," he said sadly. Amara felt sick… anything could have happened in three days.

"I need you to take me and my companions to the tower Kester," she said firmly. The man shook his head.

"Sorry Milady, Greagoir said no one but the Templars," he said. Amara felt her anger and frustration rise, she was not going to just sit here when her friends were in trouble. She took a menacing step towards the ferryman, her hands started glowing a deep blue color and thin bolts of lightning danced between her fingers. Amara watched Kester's eyes grow wide as he started to back away.

"Kester either you take us across I'll freeze the whole damn lake and walk across!"

-O-


	28. Chapter 28 Into the tower

**Authors Note****:** Kind of a bridging chapter to set the stage for the next few chapters. We won't be heading back to Redcliffe/Aedan for a bit. The next 2-3 chapters will be about the Circle/Amara's origins/Alistair's decent. I'm kind of liking Hadley a lot, he was an under-used character from the Witch Hunt add-on. I think he will add a lot in future chapters as he takes on the older-brother role comparable to Fergus with Aedan. Please review, they provide motivation! Thanks for reading!

-O-

**Chapter 28 – Into the tower**

**Amara**

It didn't feel right, none of it did. They were almost to the shore and the feeling of dread gnawed at her, making her tense as the shoreline drew closer. Amara could bring only half of her companions with her, Kester would have to make a second trip to pick up the warriors… everyone else managed to fit on the ferry. She would be lying if she said she was unhappy to leave Alistair behind. His emotions were flowing through the bond almost constantly now… an almost a perpetual bombardment of anger and hurt, it was distracting to her to have to resist them. Amara needed her focus now, her friends in the tower were in trouble and she couldn't help them if she was constantly blocking Alistair.

They reached the docks and Kester quickly got out and tied the ferry, his eyes darting nervously at her. He was afraid of her… she didn't blame him, for those few moments when he told her he wouldn't take them across her magic had responded dramatically. It seemed more powerful and in a way darker, it worried her. Amara had no idea when it had changed, she only used her magic offensively briefly against the assassin and his men, the rest had been healing. When she reached for it when Kester denied her it came rushing to her like a river released from the confines of a dam. She said that she would freeze the lake to get across, it was not an idle threat; with the power that she felt inside of her at that moment she had little doubt that she could have done it.

There were no guards stationed at the docks and as they approached the doors Amara noticed the usual Templar guards were missing from the doors. She glanced with uneasy eyes at the two large heavy wooden doors. There must not be enough left alive inside to guard the outside of the tower… the thought left her feeling anxious and fearful. They had to get inside… she took hold of the large iron door knocker and banged it on the aged wooden door. There was no response, she used her magic to operate the door knocker this time, the loud bangs rattled the doors themselves, if anyone was alive in the tower they would have heard it. A few moments later they heard a muffled voice.

"Who goes there?" a weary sounding voice asked.

"Grey Warden's from Ostagar," responded Lena. "We're here to help." The voice didn't immediately respond, she thought she heard other voices behind the door as well.

"Go back the way you came Grey Wardens… you cannot help us," a different familiar voice said. Amara knew that voice.

"Hadley? Hadley is that you?" she asked as she pressed her hand to the door. She hadn't seen him in three years. He was one of the four… one of the 'nannies'.

"Amara? It can't be… you died at Ostagar…" a shaken voice responded.

"No I was rescued… please Hadley let me in, you know I can help," she pressed.

"No… go back. We have strict orders to not let anyone but Templar reinforcements in," he said regretfully. "We can't let you in." Amara felt her power start to grow like it did earlier with Kester. She was vaguely aware of the others stepping away from her.

"I can't let you annul the circle Hadley… I can't let you kill innocent mages," she said firmly.

"We don't know how many still live… how many are compromised… there are demons everywhere" he said sadly. "Go Amara… I'm not letting you through," he said adamantly. Amara sighed, she felt her magic dance around her, the waves of energy caressing her skin.

"Step away from the door Hadley," she said in an uncharacteristically commanding tone. Her voice seemed to reverberate through the wood and echo in the chamber inside. Amara placed her hand where the grey weathered wooden doors joined and let out a small portion of the magic that flowing through her. There was a loud cracking noise as the wooden beam used to bar the door split and splintered as the doors pushed against it. The beam fell into pieces as more force pushed the doors open sending them crashing into the walls on either side. Amara stepped into the doorway gesturing to the others to stay back. As soon as she cleared the entrance way three Templars rushed at her, their swords held high ready to strike her down. Amara stood there calmly and held up her hand, freezing the Templars in place, she didn't want to hurt them. The sensation of what felt like a wind against her skin drew her attention to a Templar standing on the side of the entrance way. She heard Morrigan fall to the ground behind her, her mana drained. Amara fixed her eyes on the man, he hadn't changed all that much. He was still tall but somehow didn't seem as imposing as before. His dark brown hair was longer, it hung down into his light brown eyes. He still had that ridiculous goatee on his chin, she couldn't remember how many times she begged him to shave it.

"Has it been so long that you forgot that doesn't work on me?" she asked as she walked towards him.

"I never had you break the doors down before for Maker's sake! It was a reflex!" he declared as he sheathed his sword. He looked at the other Templars that were standing with their swords drawn waiting for his orders. "Stand down men," he commanded. At those words Amara let the three Templars go by the door. The tall Templar quickly approached her, he gave her an appraising glance. "Well… look at you, all grown up," the Templar said with a smile.

"A lot changes in three years… except you of course, still have that stupid goatee," she said with affection as she wrapped her arms around his neck giving him a tight hug. She gave Hadley a kiss on the cheek and felt a faint wave of nausea as anger poured through the bond. Amara turned her head and saw Alistair standing in the doorway with the others, Kester must have returned already. Amara did her best to try and close off the bond and ignore him.

"You're going to make me blush… you're not a girl anymore Amara," chastised Hadley as bent down to give her a kiss on the forehead. "I'm Knight-Captain now, I can't appear to be human anymore," he said with a wink. He looked around the entrance chamber at the broken wood and sighed. "Ser Andros… Ser Stephen… clean this up and find us a new beam." His eyes narrowed at their fearful glances at Amara. "She won't bite you… unless you ask her nicely. Now get to work!" Amara couldn't help but snicker at the Templar's shocked faces. He shook his head and looked back at Amara. "Recruits…" He beckoned to the others at the door. "Well you're in now and you said you could help… who am I to refuse help so forcibly offered? Come on in and follow me… mind the wood," he said as he stepped over a piece of the broken beam before leading them down the hallway.

"Hadley what is going on? Where's Greagoir?" she asked as she followed close behind him.

"That's where I'm taking you love… After Greagoir issued the Rite of Annulment we tried one last time to take back the tower. We lost about half our forces and Greagoir… well you'll see." He led them around the corner into a larger open room. "He left me with specific orders to not let anyone in but the Denerim Templars… Nothing personal love, orders are orders," he said noting her rueful glance. They continued through two double doors, Amara remembered this place, it was where the Templar's had their meetings. It was now littered with cots, they were using it as an Infirmary. There was a handful of wounded Templars laying on the cots. Nothing too severe she noted as they passed. Amara recognized most of them, several were Templars she was familiar with but not friends. Men that would guard the library and hallways. Her eyes searched for Cullen but they did not find him among the wounded. She knew if he was able he would have been at the door, same with Bran… both men would have been there with Hadley. She felt her chest tighten as she spoke.

"Hadley… where's Cullen? Where's Bran?" she asked, her voice cautious. She watched Hadley stop in mid stride and his shoulders fell a little before he turned to face her.

"Bran was sent to Redcliffe almost two weeks ago with Maron, Keili and Petra to help contain a plague that broke out there. We never heard back… we are assuming the worst," he said sadly, not able to meet her eyes.

"And Cullen? Where is he Hadley?" she asked. A part of her already knew but another part hoped he was sent to Denerim to bring the other Templars back for the Rite.

"I'm sorry love… he was in there when things fell apart. When we tried to take the tower back we found no sign of him," Hadley said as he cupped her cheek. Amara felt tears burn her eyes, she blinked them back for now.

"We'll find him," she said with determination… no matter what it took. Hadley nodded sadly as he let his hand drop.

"Greagoir is just over here," he pointed to an area enclosed by curtains. "We didn't know what else to do with him." Hadley walked over and pulled back the curtain to reveal what at first look appeared to be a statue. Amara stepped closer and gasped. Greagoir stood in a crouched position with his sword raised as if he was deflecting a blow. His face was frozen into a grimace and his eyes stared blankly forward.

"How long has he been this way?" she asked as she leaned in to get a better look.

"A bit over three days…" Hadley said as he stepped away so the others could examine his commander.

"'Tis a petrification spell of some kind," Morrigan said as she poked Greagoir's arm. "I've never heard of one lasting that long…" She looked up at Amara. "He'll die soon from thirst… no one can go that long without water," she noted as she stepped back. Amara frowned, she had no idea how to break the spell.

"I could try healing him? I have no idea how to reverse this…" she said unhappily. She didn't want to accidently kill him and there was no time… it needed to be broken soon.

"It's worth a shot…" said Lena. "He's a dead man anyway…" Amara gave the elf a disapproving look. "What? It's the truth..." Lena shrugged as she looked at the others. "We all don't need to be in here… Let's wait up front and get ready… I assume we're going in once you are done?" Lena asked. Amara nodded and pulled a small chair next to Greagoir. She caught Alistair's glare as he turned to leave the room, obviously not pleased with her friendship to Hadley. This was getting tedious… she never told Lena when they talked earlier that she had planned to talked to Irving about finding another champion when she was here. She had hoped either Bran or Cullen would do it but that was not a possibility anymore. Hadley was Knight-Caption… if she couldn't revive Greagoir he would be Knight-Commander. Maybe Argos or Zevran would do it? When this was all done she would ask… this just couldn't go on like it was with Alistair anymore.

"Interesting company you're keeping love," Hadley commented as he pulled up a chair. Amara smiled at him as she scooted her chair closer to Greagoir and laid her hands on the sides of his face. Amara closed her eyes and let her magic pour into Greagoir's petrified body. It didn't take long to find the binding of the spell but she was confused on how to undo it. It was as if the spell had invisible threads that traveled through the Fade back to the caster. Amara focused on to that binding thread, she felt her magic reach out and like a hound on a scent trail it flowed through the walls and corridors of the Circle until it latched on to its target. The image created in her mind was that of a woman with pale blond hair, she was in a room of shadows; all that Amara could see was the woman face. Her eyes opened wide as she looked off into the direction Amara's magic was coming from.

"She's here!" was all the woman said before Amara used her magic to find that exceptionally weak spot in the neck. A small burst of energy then a cracking sound and she was pulled back to the room with Greagoir and Hadley. Her eyes snapped open in time to see Greagoir collapse onto the ground, the spell broken. Amara jumped from the chair and kneeled down beside the fallen man, her hands glowing as she healed him. Greagoir started coughing and wheezing but his breathing quickly became more even as she poured more healing magic into him. When she was sure he was not in danger anymore, Amara pulled her magic back. She hauled herself up and sat heavily in the chair, Amara watched as Hadley tended to his commander. Amara was too tired to do more, she also felt physically ill over how she used her magic to break the spell. She had never done anything like that before, it was just so easy to do it, so easy to kill the blood mage that cast it. It all was becoming too easy… Amara had taken six lives in the past few days with no more than a brief focusing of her will. Regret filled her, she wished she had never listened to Morrigan… she did not like what she was becoming.

"Amell…" Greagoir said, his voice was raspy but otherwise sounded like the normal Greagoir. He sat there on the floor as he regained his bearings, sipping a glass of water Hadley had given him. "Never thought I'd be happy to see you back here… thank you." He said as he gave her a nod. Amara smiled and pulled herself up.

"I'm going to rest by the lake… then we are going in Greagoir… this Circle is not getting annulled," she said in a tone the left no arguing. Greagoir surprised her by not arguing with her, he just nodded.

"When did you get so feisty love?" asked Hadley with a smirk on his face, obviously surprised by her commanding tone. Amara smiled sadly at him.

"I grew up…" she said softly before she turned and left.

-O-

The cool water slid between her fingers as she ran her hand through the water. Relief washed over her and some of her troubles seemed to rinse away with the water that rolled off her hand. She finally felt grounded, a part of the world around her instead of this abomination she was becoming. It was the only word that fit… she was becoming something she abhorred. Amara closed her eyes and tried to remember better times when she had never killed and just focused on helping people. Amara was lost in her memories of better times with Will and Anders when she felt her stomach turn as a wave of nausea hit her.

"Did you need something Alistair?" she asked without turning to look at him. All she wanted was a few minutes to regain some of her power… was that too much to ask?

"Who is he?" he asked harshly. Amara closed her eyes and took in a deep breath trying to calm herself. She knew who he was referring to, she saw the glare after she gave Hadley a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"A friend…" she said as she looked out over the lake. The sun had set not long ago and the deep purples of dusk were starting to be being claimed by the shadow of night leaving an ominous feel to the landscape. Anger flashed through the bond making the nausea worse, she struggled to close off the bond.

"A friend… right," he sneered. Amara felt her patience slip at his accusatory tone, she stood up and turned angrily towards him.

"He IS my friend, Hadley is like a brother to me not that it is any of your business. This has to stop Alistair… all I feel through the bond is your anger, it makes me sick to my stomach every time you come around me now. I can't do this… "Amara said as she pushed passed him to go back to the tower. Raw fear shot through the bond causing her to falter.

"Wait! Please Amara… I'm sorry. I… I'm sorry. I can't stop being angry… I don't know why, I can't control it," he said as his voice broke. "Can you help me? Please? I don't want to push you away… I never wanted that." Amara looked at him and felt pity and overwhelming sadness. Gone was the happy joking Alistair she had come to know at Ostagar… he was just a shell of himself right now.

"Oh Alistair," she said as she impulsively embraced him. "I'm sorry, I never wanted you to get involved with this." She did not mean for the hug to be anything more than offering comfort to a friend, as soon as she felt desire through the bond she tried to pull away. "We need to get back," Amara said as she tried to step back. Alistair didn't say anything, he just pulled her tighter to him. She paused for a moment… maybe he just needed some closeness. He was her friend, maybe this was all he needed and he would be back to his old self, she thought. Then bond flared nearly drowning her with the rush of emotions spilling across it. Desire, longing, need and possessiveness suffocated her, she tried to push him away… tried to break free from his hold. "Alistair, let me go," she said as she pushed against his armor but it was no use, he was too strong. When she felt his hands start to caress her back, her sides, dropping lower each time she started to fight against his hold. "Alistair stop this! It's the bond…" she said breathlessly as she pushed away from him. He groaned into her neck as he ground against her, pulling her tighter as his hands roamed her body. She didn't want to hurt him but this was going too far. "Alistair STOP!" she yelled and focused her magic to push him back. Amara expected to be free when she felt her magic leave her, she expected Alistair to be thrown several feet away… she did not expect her magic to fail her. It had no effect on him, he did not move one inch… if anything drawing in her magic seemed only to encourage him. Panic set in as she struggled to break free… she was helpless without her magic, there was nothing she could do to break his hold.

"Even in Antiva… stop means stop Alistair," Zevran said as he forcibly pulled them apart, maneuvering Amara behind him in the process. Amara almost sobbed in relief at finally being free of Alistair's embrace. Unbridled rage flowed through the bond as Alistair rounded on Zevran with hate in his eyes. "I do not think you wish to play with me my friend… you have no weapons and I have several." The flash of steel caught Amara's eye as a dagger appeared from seemingly nowhere into Zevran's hand. Alistair glared at them both before turning without a word and angrily walking away. Amara let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, it came out as a sob as she brought her shaking hands up to her face. Zevran turned around after he made sure Alistair was gone and placed his hands on Amara's shoulders.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly. Amara nodded and wrapped her arms around herself. It was worse than she thought, Alistair had no control over his emotions at all and it scared her.

"Thank you," she said softly. "If you wouldn't have…" her voice broke. Her hand came up to cover her mouth as she thought to hold back the tears that were building in her eyes.

"Shh… you're safe." Zevran said. "Look at me Amara," he commanded gently. "No 'what ifs'… you are unharmed... focus on that." Amara nodded as she rubbed her eyes. "Why did you not use your magic against him?" Amara pulled away and started to pace.

"I tried but it did nothing to him… It's the bond, it must protect him from my magic. I couldn't push him away," she felt her fragile composure start to slip. "I was helpless…" she gave Zevran a terrified look. "I've never been helpless before." She took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself. Zevran frowned, he bent down and reached into his boot pulling out a small gold dagger.

"Please take this for now. Put it in your pocket until I can get you something better," he said as he handed Amara the dagger. She took it and gave him a confused look before putting it in her pocket. "I will teach you how to use it at a later time… for now I will feel better knowing it is in your possession."

"Thank you… for everything," she said quietly, her hand resting on the outside of her pocket. Zevran smiled at her.

"No need to thank me, but it is appreciated," he glanced at the lake. "Do you need more time? Lena is ready to go." Amara shook her head.

"No I'm ok," she said as she looked towards the imposing tower.

"Good, shall we?" he held out his arm for her. "I will ask that you stay near me when we go in yes?" Amara nodded as she took his arm and they started walking towards the tower. "I won't let him near you mi flor…" he assured her as he patted her arm. Amara nodded feeling a little better. She knew that she would only truly feel better once the bond is broken between her and Alistair… they just needed to get through this tower to do it.

-O-


	29. Chapter 29 Retaking the Circle

**Authors Note****:** Dark times for Amara, it's only going to get worse before it gets better. Amara is on a slippery slope… will be interesting to see how things turn out with her. I changed this around a bit… I always thought it was silly that Greagoir just let the Grey Warden's in and didn't help, just washed his hands of the situation. I also didn't like how there was hardly any survivors. Best part about fanfic? You can fix that kind of stuff. Anyway, thanks for reading! I've changed the story image, let me know what you think. And please review! Two chapters no reviews makes me sad.

-O-

**Chapter 29 – Retaking the Circle**

**Amara**

She listened intently to Greagoir and Hadley as they went through the events leading up to the fall of the Circle. Several mages had found their way home after the battle of Ostagar, they fled when the vanguard had started to fail. Nothing but cowards, she thought. How many soldiers would have lived if the mages had backed them up? Maybe Aedan would have lived… she felt herself get angrier the more she listened. There were a few mages that came back that were not a part of this Circle… they claimed to be from the Starkhaven Circle sent here to help with the Blight.

"Wait… first you didn't question why all these mages came back unescorted. Then you're telling me no one cared that there were extra mages with them? Have you been taking extra lyrium or something? How could none of this raise a red flag with any of you?" Lena asked incredulously. Lena's outburst had the Templars looking around sheepishly.

"Honestly Grey Warden… we were so relieved that we didn't have to go hunt down the mages that we overlooked the obvious warnings," Hadley said quietly. Lena huffed and sat back in her chair shaking her head. Amara couldn't help but smile at the elf, she was a welcome breath of fresh air with her brutal honesty. She could see why Will had loved her, between his humor and her biting honesty they must have been great together… never a dull moment. Something Hadley said drew her back to the conversation.

"Who disappeared first?" she asked, Hadley mentioned that certain mages disappeared a day before the attack happened.

"The first was Finn… we never thought someone like him would ever try to escape," said Greagoir. "That boy was never two paces from the library." Amara remembered him, he was always in the library… several times he had helped her find the books she needed.

"The next were Senior Enchanter Sweeney and Niall then Irving… when we realized they were missing we sent teams of Templars to search the tower. We knew then it wasn't just mages escaping… but by that time it was too late. Everything fell apart and the demon attacks started happening, after two days of fighting and losing ground we sealed the doors. Three Templars were sent to Denerim requesting support to carry out the Right of Annulment. We tried to go back in two days later and failed, Greagoir was petrified and half our remaining forces cut down. So we sealed the doors again and were waiting for the Denerim Templars until you got here," he finished and looked at Amara apologetically. "I'm sorry love but there isn't much hope for survivors at this point." Amara shook her head stubbornly.

"No, there were enough supplies in the storage rooms and classrooms for people to survive. They could make it five days," she said as she stood up. "How do you want to do this?" she said as she looked at Lena. The elf stood up and surveyed the group in the room.

"How many Templars do we get?" she asked Greagoir, Lena was as direct as always.

"I can spare only four to come along with us," he said, his stance showed there was no room for negotiation on this.

"Us?" asked Lena. "You're coming? Weren't you a statue a couple hours ago? Are you sure you're up for this?" Greagoir glared at her before responding.

"Either I go or the Templars stay," he said sternly as he stared down at Lena. She rolled her eyes and waved him off.

"Whatever old man, just keep up," she said dismissively causing Greagoir's face to turn red. "Alistair, Morrigan and Argos… you are with me and the Knight-Commander. The rest of you are with Amara and the Knight-Captain." As if expecting a protest she spun and looked directly at Alistair with her finger pointed at his chest. "That's an order," she commanded before turning back to the others. Amara felt his eyes on her but she refused to look at him. She could feel his regret through the bond but it was overshadowed by strong feelings of longing and desire that had not changed from earlier, still as intense. It made her extremely uncomfortable, she managed to stay behind Hadley and Sten, increasing the distance between him. "Grab your Templars and let's go… this is going to be a long night," Lena shouted to the group from the door way. Amara readied herself and tried to push any thoughts of Alistair away, Lena was right... it was going to be a long night.

-O-

The sound of the doors behind them being locked and bolted did nothing to settle her nerves. She raised her palm up and glowing orbs started to form in the air above her hand. They shot out from her hand and attached themselves to the walls and ceiling before them. With the room fully illuminated they could see a battle had taken place here, there was burn marks on the walls and floor. Dried blood spots covered the floor and splatter littered the walls in all directions. Amara felt sick… several people died here, there was too much blood for just a few.

"Where are the bodies?" asked Argos, the large man looked uncomfortable in the confinements of the Circle's walls.

"The demons would have taken them," said Hadley in a low voice. He looked over at Amara, his eyes were haunted… he knew.

"Why would they take them?" asked Lena, she looked shaken as well.

"Food… entertainment… Demon's take their prey for many reasons," Morrigan said sharply. "I suggest we move the Veil is nearly nonexistent in this place." Amara nodded, she could feel it too. All of the hairs were standing on the back of her neck and she felt uneasy. The two groups traveled together down the long hallway until they came to the library. Amara sent more orbs down the adjacent hallway, it was empty as well.

"The library is pretty big, let's do it together then split up," Amara suggested quietly as she summoned more orbs to her palm. Lena nodded and motioned Argos and Alistair to the door, both her and Leliana readied their bows as the two men pulled the doors open. Amara felt her heart speed up as the doors creaked open. She willed the glowing orbs in her hand through the opening doors to provide some light. The acrid smell of sulfur filled the air, before the others had time to react Amara willed a shield around the two men at the door. The Veil seemed to thin more in a matter of seconds, she felt them before her eyes could see their forms on the other side of the doorway. A bolt of lightning shot past her as Morrigan casted, sending bolt after bolt into the library doorway. The piercing howls of pain grew louder as the demons charged. Amara felt her power start to pulse around her, she glanced at her hands, they were engulfed in a brilliant orange flame… lightning danced in the flames crackling and hissing around her fingers. She walked slowly towards the doorway, arrows whizzed through the air on either side of her as Lena and Leliana shot them into the open door. The first of the beasts showed itself as it pushed past the opening only to be struck with Alistair's sword. Behind it were at least five more, she could see their red eyes glowing in the dim light of the orb.

Argos and Alistair fought the first pride demon, it claws ripped at their armor, its screams of rage were terrifying. The other demons were more cautious than the first, they lingered in the doorway briefly before pushing past, their victims selected. Amara walked towards the demons as they rushed them, she heard Hadley call her name but she pressed forward anyway. She reached forward toward the demon running directly at her, orange flame and lighting shot out from her hand completely surrounding the demon. Its claws and scaled flesh burning as it screamed in pain. The other demons tried to quickly pass the burning one to reach her and her companions. A wall of flame encircled them restraining them and kept them away from the others. Seeing that the other demons were restrained, the Templars rushed forward and started hacking at the burning demon that Amara had ensnared. Greagoir and Sten hurried forward to assist Alistair and Argos with the first pride demon. It was organized chaos as Lena and Leliana stayed back with Morrigan damaging the demons with arrows and spells. Zevran stayed at her side guarding her while occasionally taking a few opportunistic hits with his daggers before returning to her side. Amara held the flames in place as the warriors quickly dispatched the wounded and weakened demons. She felt the flames die as soon as the last pride demon was killed. The power diminished only slightly, she did not feel weak or tired… it surprised her. Hadley rushed to her side and grabbed her by the arms, he looked her over for wounds before pulling her to his chest in a quick embrace.

"Maker's balls! You scared the shit out of me," he said as he pulled away to look at her again. "Why did you just walk up there like that? You could have been mauled by a demon or taken an arrow in the back!" he scolded her.

"I needed to get closer," she said lamely. She felt like she was fourteen again and was caught sneaking out after curfew.

"Look I don't know who you've been fighting with in the past but when I'm here you will stay back for Maker's sake," he said resolutely. "You'll listen to me Amara and that's final!"

"As entertaining as it is to watch you chastise the most powerful mage in a millennia like a five year old girl we really should press on Templar," Morrigan said with a sneer. "The Veil has many tears in that room, they need to be fixed or we will be fighting demons here all night." Hadley gave Amara sheepish look and stepped away.

"I'm sorry, I just want you to stay alive love," he said softly. Amara sighed, Hadley was right… she did take an unnecessary risk getting that close. She didn't know what had come over her, she just knew she wouldn't be injured and that was the best way to do it.

"No, you're right… I'm new to fighting like this, I'll stay back," she said quietly. She turned to Morrigan, "How many tears?"

"'Four or five," Amara nodded and motioned to Lena to proceed with leading them in. As soon as they passed through the door way the sickening sweet smell of death permeated the entire room. Amara felt her stomach heave and she had to step to the side and empty her stomach on the blood stained floor. Even with her stomach emptied the queasiness did not go away. The smell of burning demon was more welcomed than this. Orbs of light formed on her hand and she sent them to all the corners of the room and the center of the arched ceilings. Amara was not prepared for the scene before her, a new wave of nausea hit her and she covered her mouth. They had found where the bodies… what was left of them anyway. She knew what demons were capable of but never had she seen such a horrific sight. Hadley and Greagoir went over to examine the bodies to see if they could identify any of them. She could see that she was not the only one shaken by the sight by the looks on the faces of her companions.

"Let's go!" Lena ordered as she motioned the others forward. "Morrigan take us to the tears." The witch took the lead, Amara followed along behind. She could sense where the tears were as well, it was like someone left a window open in a storm. She could feel the cold energy of the Fade pouring in. Morrigan beckoned for her to join her next to one of the bookcases.

"Do you feel it?" Morrigan ask. Amara could only nod, the raw power of the Fade was overwhelming; she could feel herself unintentionally drawing it in. Morrigan gave her a sharp look. "What are you doing?" she snapped. Amara couldn't respond, she was frozen in place as she drew more and more of the Fade in. Morrigan cursed and shoved Amara back, pushing her to the others, she would have fallen of Argos wouldn't have caught her. Morrigan raised her staff above her head as she chanted, when she brought it down hard on the stone floor light burst from the bottom and trailed across the floor to where the tear was. The ground and air above it shimmered then seemed to collapse in on itself… the hole was closed. Amara felt it as soon as it sealed, she sat up gasping for breath, her whole body was tingling from all of the energy she absorbed. Morrigan stomped over and pulled her to her feet. "Have you lost your mind? That energy could have torn your to pieces!" she yelled.

"I'm sorry! I couldn't control it… it just happened," Amara apologized. Her whole body felt energized, she wondered just how much she did absorb and how more she could have.

"You need to learn to control it or you are going to end up killing yourself," Morrigan reprimanded. Amara nodded and stepped back behind the others. Twice today she had been reproached for something she had done, she felt like a first year Circle mage. Morrigan lead them to the other tears and repaired them while the others guarded against demons. Amara kept her distance, trying to not get too close to any of the tears, she did not want a repeat of earlier. "That is all of them here," Morrigan said as she took out a lyrium potion. "It looks like they deliberately tore the Veil to let the demons out so that anyone that came in would get shredded like the others." Greagoir and Hadley had rejoined them, their faces grim. Amara looked at Hadley.

"Was Cullen…" she started but Hadley shook his head.

"No, these were the men that went in with us three days ago… two are unaccounted for," he said quietly. Amara didn't know what to say, she was relieved that there was still hope that Cullen might be still alive but she felt terrible for the men that died like that. She reached over and gave Hadley's hand a squeeze, she knew it wasn't much but is seemed to help, he gave her a brief nod.

"Check all of the side rooms," Lena ordered as they fanned out to search the rest of the library. Amara checked a few of the rooms with Leliana and found nothing. She was starting to lose hope that anyone would be found alive on this level of the tower.

"Ser Hadley… this door is warded," called one of the Templars. Morrigan and Amara rushed forward to the door. She went to pound on the door when Morrigan pointed to one of the runes cast on the doorway… a sound glyph.

"Let's start with that one," Amara suggested. The two mages set about unraveling the spells cast for the runes. Once they managed to remove the sound glyph Amara pounded on the door.

"Hello? Is anyone alive in there?" she called as Morrigan continued to work on the other runes. She thought she heard a sound, it gave her hope. Amara joined Morrigan at removing the rest of the glyphs. Several minutes later the last glyph was off. She was about to open the door when Hadley pulled her away.

"Just in case," he said as he drew his sword. Alistair joined him at the door and pulled it open…laying on the floor in the back corner of the room was a man, he wasn't moving. Amara pushed past the two warriors to reach the man… it was Finn. She pulled her hand up to heal him and saw that the normal blue glow had been replaced by a deep purple color. Amara hesitated for a moment, worried that there was something wrong with her magic but knew she couldn't wait, she could barely feel his heartbeat. She laid her hands on his head and let just a tiny bit of the power flow into him. It only took a moment before she saw his eyes start to flutter. Finn opened his eyes and stared his glazed over expression worried her.

"Andraste?" he said softly as he blinked his eyes rapidly. "I must be dead…" Amara smiled at him, relief filled her.

"No Finn, its Amara," she offered him her hand to pull himself up. He stared at her for a moment before taking her hand.

"Are you sure I'm not dead? You're dead so that means I'm dead… right?" he babbled as he looked around.

"No Finn… I'm not dead, neither are you," Amara said patiently as she led him back out to the library. "We rescued you… you're safe." She led the confused Finn out to the others, Greagoir had two of the Templars take shaken but very much alive mage back to the main door. Amara gave Hadley a pointed look.

"Wasn't he the first to go missing?" she asked, her hands on her hips. Hadley looked down at his boots and frowned.

"I honestly didn't think there would be any survivors," he said sadly. "Just look at what the demons did to the Templars… " Amara shook her head, she was angry that they had just given up and were going to leave these mages to die.

"Hadley, mages deal with demons all of the time… we've learned a few ways to handle them or get away from them," she responded crossly. She took a few steps towards the doorway to the hall. "Come on! There's no telling how many warded themselves. There could be dozens of survivors!"

-O-

After they cleared the second floor they had found a total of thirty seven adults and seventeen children hiding in warded rooms within the tower. The number had surprised and humbled the Templars. She could see it in Greagoir's guilt filled eyes, he was almost responsible for the death of all these innocent people; several were his own men. With information from the survivors they had started to piece together what had happened. Niall had overheard the blood mages discussing their plans and had reported it to Senior Enchanter Sweeney, the blood mages attacked before they could alert the First Enchanter. The two along with Senior Enchanter Leorah and Senior Enchanter Torrin had managed to hide and ward the survivors they found. Some say that First Enchanter Irving and the Senior Enchanters had joined the battle with a handful of Templars lead by Cullen against the blood mages but the stories varied so much from survivor to survivor it was hard to know the truth. All of those people were currently listed as missing, they hadn't found their bodies. They still had one floor to go and the Harrowing chamber, she still carried hope that they would find more survivors.

"How many mages came back from Ostagar?" she asked Hadley as they made another sweep of the sleeping quarters. They had found only minor desire demons on this floor and had made quick work of them.

"Twelve," he said quietly. Amara had noticed his behavior became more reserved after they found the last batch of survivors. She could see that guilt was eating him up inside.

"We should assume all twelve were blood mages. We have found six bodies that witnesses say were attacking them and I killed one. So there are at least five more in here…" she commented as they walked back to the rendezvous spot where they were meeting up with Lena's group to go to the third floor.

"When did you kill one?" Hadley asked surprised. Amara frowned and looked away, she shouldn't have mentioned it. He was going to ask questions she was not prepared to answer.

"In order to free Greagoir I had to kill the blood mage that controlling the spell," she stated as they walked down the hallway. She hoped he would let it this discussion end there.

"You didn't say anything…" he trailed off. Amara kept walking through the awkward silence. "Amara…"

"There was nothing to say… we had to save Greagoir. It was a blood mage… you would have killed her too," she pointed out. Hadley frowned.

"Yes, that's my job but not yours. When I left…" Amara cut him off anger suddenly filled her.

"When you left I was fifteen years old. A lot has changed in three years… a lot has changed in just two months. Killing IS my job now… including the blood mage that's six for me this week alone. There will probably be more added to that list before the night is through," she said bitterly. Amara didn't look at him as they continued down the hallway. She didn't want to see the judgment in his eyes or the disgust over what she had become. They rounded the corner and found Lena and the rest waiting for them.

"Ready?" Lena asked, Amara nodded and noticed there were a few more Templars with them. She raised an eyebrow at them. "They have a score to settle… they said they were well enough to go… Who am I to deny retribution?" she explained with a shrug. "What can we expect up there?"

"The mages quarters, a small kitchen area… the baths, about the same as this floor. Then there is the Harrowing chamber the next floor up." Greagoir said as he pulled his sword from its sheath.

"The will be waiting for us at the door…" Amara said. "Let me go first and put up a shield." Amara knew the reaction she would get but she knew it was the best course. She could feel the energy from the Fade running through her… she knew she would have enough power to do this.

"A shield like that will take a too much power," said Morrigan. "It would be meaningless if you cannot hold it… they will break through, the results will be the same except you'll be dead." Amara shook her head.

"I know I can do this… I took in enough power from the Fade. You'll have to trust me," she said evenly. Morrigan gave her a worried look. "Believe me Morrigan, if I don't use this on something soon I feel like I'm going to fly apart."

"'Tis against my better judgment… but if you think you can…" she said reluctantly. Both Hadley and Alistair expressed their displeasure over her plan, they didn't understand… without some type of shield several were going to die when those doors are forced open.

"Look I'm doing it, I understand the risks," she said exasperatedly. "We need to go, every moment we delay gives them more time to prepare." She pushed past Greagoir and Sten and started climbing the stairs giving them no choice but to follow. The power from the Fade seemed to come to life as she climbed the final few steps. When she got to the top of the stair she could feel a tear in the Veil somewhere beyond the door. She could use that, if she had to, she glanced down the steps at Morrigan, Amara knew she felt it too, a look of concern flashed across Morrigan's face… she knew. Greagoir and two men brought up a small ram for the door, Amara shook her head.

"There is no need," she said as she brought her hand up. Dark blue energy swirled around her hands, it was snapping and popping with small lightning bolts twisting around her arms. Greagoir and his men nervously backed down the stairs. Amara nodded at Lena and reached her arm out towards the door. Her intention was just to force it open, like she did to the doors downstairs, what happen was entirely different. As soon as the power left her a strange whistling noise occurred right before the door was blasted into shreds. The sound of the explosion mirrored the sound of thunder as the whole tower shook, the sound echoed throughout the entire stone structure. Amara heard the startled gasps and people calling her name but she continued forward through the now open doorway. She was right, they were waiting for them, four blood mages… they now laid broken and bleeding against the far wall. The rage demons they had summoned fared better, they began to stand fueled by their need for vengeance. Hadley and Alistair pushed past her, they were followed by the rest of the Templars.

Time seemed to slow as her eyes took in the battle before her, she turned and saw the stairway leading to the Harrowing chamber and found herself drawn to it. The sound of the battle seemed to dim around her as she walked slowly towards the stairs. Amara walked slowly through the fighting, unnoticed, everyone was too focused on their fight to see the mage walk past them. The tear in the Veil was near, she felt herself draw in its power as she moved past it, her eyes never leaving the door at the top of the stairs. Her skin was alive with energy by the time she reached the stairs, never had she felt so powerful before.

Amara slowly climbed the steps in a daze, a small part of her mind shouted warnings that she did not care to hear. The power rippled through her, the feel of it was intoxicating… at that moment she truly felt invincible. Amara put up a shield and slowly reached for the door handle, she had no idea what she would find inside but for some reason she was not afraid. She stepped into the Harrowing chamber, the door slammed shut behind her. Amara realized her mistake when she turned and was hit by some type of glyph of binding that froze her in place and put a shield around her… leaving her powerless.

"Hello my Queen!" said a man's voice. Amara's head snapped up to see a tall man standing on the far side of the chamber. He was dressed in a Senior Enchanters robes but Amara had never seen him in the Circle before. "I apologize for this but after everything I presumed you would not be very hospitable correct?" he asked as he stepped down the dais. Amara surveyed the room, she saw Irving laying on the floor next to Senior Enchanter Sweeney and other missing mages, their backs were facing her so she could not identify them. A growling noise drew her attention to the other side of the chamber. Laying on the floor was Cullen, he was bloodied and not moving. Standing over him were two abominations, their circle robes hung off them in tatters, their faces and bodies too deformed to know who they once were. "Oh don't worry my Queen… your pet is still alive… for now anyway. Consider him my insurance that I make it out of here alive." Amara narrowed her eyes at the man.

"Who are you?" she hissed between clenched teeth. Her magic was testing the shield, prodding it, looking for some way out of it.

"I am Caladrius," he said with a bow. "It is an honor to meet you…" he said as he stepped closer to her. Caladrius gave her an appreciative look, his eyes traveling over her body, he smiled. "Stunning… You will bring my Master great happiness." He walked over and sat in a chair near the wall. "So… you are probably wondering why I'm here? Why bother with all of this?" Amara just glared at him, she kept her mana focused on the shield. "Come now… not even a little bit curious?"

"Does it matter? It's not like I can believe anything you say to me," she replied unable to hide the contempt in her voice. Caladrius smiled at her as he leaned back in the chair.

"Oh you can believe me… I wouldn't lie to my Queen," he said with a smirk. "I have no reason to… the truth is bitter enough."

"I'm not your queen!" Amara seethed. To that the man laughed, he seemed genuinely amused.

"Oh my dear, yes you are! Even I can see his influence on you… you cannot be in the presence of a god as much as you have to not escape it unmarked," Caladrius chuckled. Amara felt her blood run cold.

"Miel…" she whispered. Caladrius smiled and nodded.

"My Master has many names… that is one of them, reserved for those closest to him," the man said with a knowing look. Amara felt sick. "So… back to the reason for this little excursion. I required some items from the Circle that they have been using to keep you weak. As much as my Master believes you will come to him willingly there are some of us who do not wish to take chances. So I've acquired a little reassurance…"

"I don't understand, what items?" she asked, what he was saying didn't make any sense. None of it did, they wouldn't deliberately suppress her magic… would they?

"Please tell me that you noticed the difference since your return to the tower? Are you not able to do more? Are you not stronger than ever before?" he asked, he smiled again his eyes twinkling.

"Yes but I thought that it was just because my magic is stronger now…" she reasoned. Caladrius shook his head and laughed.

"No my Queen, this tower was your prison in more ways that the obvious… They kept you bound here… your magic bound here for twelve years until Irving knew he couldn't hold you here any longer… he knew my Master would come for you," he explained, there was an excitement in his voice that unnerved her. "I bet your powers when crazy after you left this place… It was something that scared you… that feeling of losing control."

"Yes… she said quietly as she remembered how she felt like she didn't have control over her magic and how terrified she was when she hurt Aedan. Duncan should have killed her then…

"I told you I wouldn't lie to you my Queen… I left Irving alive so you can ask him yourself," he said giving her a harsh smile. "It is the only reason why he still does… the meddling the Witch and he have done brought us to this current path."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"They hid you from my Master… if he could have sensed you he would have broken free before the darkspawn found him, we would not have the problem we do now. Now we will have to take extra steps to ensure our Master can rule again," he said, his voice full of annoyance.

"He's the Archdemon! He has been corrupted…" she exclaimed.

"Yes we know but there are ways around that my Queen… you must not give up hope," he smiled at her. There was a loud insistent banging on the door, Caladrius looked at it and frowned. "As I said earlier… it has been an honor to meet you… I will be your humble servant once my Master takes his rightful place," he said with a bow. He gestured to the two abominations standing over Cullen. "I know your abilities are great but not inflatable. Here is what is going to happen my Queen… I will release you from the glyph at the same time I command my two servants Uldred and Leorah to attack your pet. You must choose… will you attack me or will you protect your pet?" He walked over to the one of the windows that was broken. "Goodbye my Queen until next time…" he said before his form shimmered and was engulfed in a white light as he transformed into a brown spotted falcon. He hopped on the broken frame of the window and let out a series of chirps. Amara felt the glyph break and saw the abominations lunge for Cullen. There was no decision to be made… she let lose her magic on the abominations forcing them back against the far wall, they cried out in pain as a blue flame engulfed them. Amara turned to the broken window, Caladrius was gone. She let out a cry of frustration and raced to Cullen's side, her hands glowing a gentle blue as she started to heal him. The door buckled under the onslaught of the men from the other side, a few more hits and they were in. A wild-eyed Alistair charged into the room, his sword glowing green, he immediately ran to the burning abominations and started to hack and stab them. The rest of her companions filed into the room, Greagoir rushed to Irving and checked his pulse.

"He's alive!" he yelled, the relief apparent in his voice. Morrigan pushed her way through the Templars and checked the other mages that lay on the ground next to the First Enchanter.

"They will live…" she said as she crossed the room to where Amara knelt healing Cullen. Amara did not need to see her face, she could feel the anger radiating off of her.

"Do you lack self-preservation entirely?" she snapped at Amara. "What were you thinking? They could have killed you or taken you!" Amara looked up and shook her head.

"Not now Morrigan…" she said curtly. "Yell at me later… help the mages." She pulled her green bag off her shoulder and tossed it to Morrigan. "They probably used Magebane… there are some antidotes in there, the small orange vials." Morrigan opened her mouth several times to say something… finally in a huff she turned and left. Amara continued to heal Cullen, they had nearly beaten him to death.

"She's right you know…" said Hadley as he came over and knelt by her side. "You scared us all when we realized that you were missing and the only place you could be was the Harrowing chamber…"

"I was drawn there… I didn't go sneaking off, they used some type of spell to pull me there and then bound me," she said indignantly as she turned to look at him. "The man… Caladrius wanted to talk to me." Hadley looked around for the man. "He turned into a falcon and flew out the window… he said all of this…" she gestured around at the now dead abominations and fallen mages. "It was so he could get some items from the tower… all of those people killed for some items he claim Irving had in place to keep my magic weak when I was here." Cullen start to moan, his eyes fluttered open. "Cullen! How are you feeling? Do you hurt anywhere?" she asked frantically as she ran her hand down his cheek. His eyes slowly focused on her face, he let out a cry and pushed himself away from her. "Cullen, it's me… Amara," she said as she reached for him. He sat up and pushed her away, knocking her back on to the floor. Hadley grabbed him and held him down.

"I know who you are! You are Urthemiel's whore!" he yelled, drawing the attention of the rest of the people in the room.

"Cullen…" she sat up, tears started to roll down her cheeks. "Please…" Again she went to touch him, Cullen flinched away.

"Don't touch me whore!" he snapped at her. His eyes focused on her shocked tear streaked face, his mouth twisted into a hateful sneer. "You have doomed us all Amara!"

-O-


	30. Chapter 30 A tale of forgotten magic

**Authors Note****:** A lot going on in this chapter, finally the backstory on how Amara came to exist and an explanation of why Alistair is such a creeper. For all those who have been patiently waiting for an Amara/Aedan reunion do not have to wait much longer. Thanks for reading!

-O-

**Chapter 30 – A tale of forgotten magic**

**Hadley**

She had left the Harrowing chamber without saying a word, he had not seen her since. The things Cullen had said to her were cruel… he never thought the man capable of it, especially considering how much he loved her. Everyone knew that… for years Cullen had loved her, it was almost painful at times to see the way he looked at her. He knew Amara returned those feelings to a certain extent but they never acted on them… at least not to his knowledge. When he returned to the Circle to find Amara gone, recruited by the Grey Wardens he expected Cullen to be gone as well, he never really thought Cullen could be without her. He didn't want to pry and ask the young man about it so he asked Bran. She had left with another man…Aedan was his name. Bran said Cullen had words with him before he left… that the man had promised to take care of her. Cullen had let her go, something Hadley thought him incapable of doing.

When they received word that Amara was likely dead at Ostagar from the very mages that they had just defeated, Cullen had mourned her. Greagoir had even relieved him from his duties for days, the poor man was broken. He had just started to come out of it when the attack had happened. Hadley thought that if they found Cullen alive he would have been overjoyed to see Amara again. He had expected a vow or two broken once they were together. Never did he expect Cullen to react that way to her, the look on her face tore at his heart. Hadley had found himself wanting to hit Cullen as he babbled on, never had he ever wanted to strike someone so badly. The blood mages had tortured him but Amara did not deserve that… especially considering how she had risked herself for everyone. Hadley frowned, she was so different now… so sad, she tried to hide it but he knew her. So many things have happened to her, he didn't even know the half of them. Amara had been to battle and has had to kill, he knew that had to be tearing her up inside. He remembered that dear sweet innocent girl that he use to read stories to and watch over as she slept. Things change but he knew deep down inside she was still little Amara.

Hadley had a few ideas where he could find the missing mage. He doubted she would be in the hiding spot behind the statues in the library, they were in the process of cleaning that room. The other place was a special spot where she would go to hide from Wynne. He stopped at his room and removed his armor, there was no way he was going to be able to climb in it. He strapped his sword back on, even though they had gone through the tower multiple times he wasn't going around completely unarmed. The walk to the small chapel did not take long, it was just behind the classrooms on the first floor. The door creaked only slightly when he pulled it open. He quietly walked in and was shocked to see the blond elf assassin sitting on one of the benches. He nodded at Hadley then looked up at the rafters, Hadley gave him a sad smile and walked to the back of the altar that was dedicated to Andraste. Even after all these years he remembered where to step and what to hold on to. In a couple of minutes he was pulling himself up onto the ceiling beam. The flickering candle light provided barely enough illumination to see the beam he had to walk across. After saying a silent prayer to the Maker he started to cross the beam, he never remembered it being this treacherous. He made it across without issue and saw a silhouette leaning against the wall in the dark corner where all the ceiling beams met.

"I'm surprised you remembered this spot," she said softly from the shadows. Hadley sat down next to her on one of the beams, his long legs dangling off the side.

"It was a good place… I don't think Wynne ever figured it out," he said with a small smile. "At least even if she did, you never had to worry about her climbing up here after you."

"True…" she said as she stared down the rows of lit candles by the statue of Andraste. After a long silence she asked. "How is he?"

"Not good… he was tortured for five days. It is going to take him a long time to come back from that," he said honestly, his eyes focused on her face. Long dried tears marred her cheeks and she looked exhausted as she leaned against the wall. "He is not himself Amara. What he said was…"

"True…" she interrupted, her green eyes were glimmering with unshed tears. "What he said was true Hadley… it is what I will be anyway."

"He was delusional Amara, what he said about the old Tevinter god made no sense," Hadley said shaking his head, he felt anger start to rise again over what Cullen had said. Amara turned to face him, her eyes were haunted.

"No Hadley… what he said about Urthemiel is true," she said, her voice distant. "Ever since Ostagar, Urthemiel has been coming to me in my dreams." Hadley's first instinct was to laugh and tease her for trying to joke about this but when he saw her eyes he knew this was not in jest.

"You're serious… How?" he was at a loss for words. It was insane, he just couldn't believe it. "You're going to have to tell me everything love… I just… I just can't wrap my mind around it." He saw the doubt and fear in her eyes. "Please Amara… I want to help… I want to understand, but I can't do either unless you talk to me," he said earnestly. Her eyes searched his before she took a deep breath and started telling him about when Duncan and Aedan arrived at this tower. Hadley saw her eyes well up with tears again when she talked about Aedan Cousland, her first real love. He wished he could have met the young lord that had won her heart. It didn't sound like she has dealt with his loss at all, so much happened to her after the battle. He listened intently when she described her interactions with Urthemiel… there was so much of this story that didn't make sense… why Amara? Why was she his mate? Out of all the women in Thedas why her? These questions simmered in his mind as she told him about the Witch of the Wilds and her mother, there was a lot more there, he speculated. She told him the rest about the Tevinters involvement and what the man said to her in the Harrowing chamber. The hold the old god had over her scared him, especially after seeing how powerful she has become. He found it a little reassuring when she told him how her champion shields her from the mind of Urthemiel. The champion bonds intrigued him, to be able to channel magic to a warrior… it amazed him that it was possible.

"So this Alistair is your champion now?" he asked and saw her immediately become tense and uncomfortable. "What is it Amara?" he asked, concerned over her change in demeanor. She looked down at her hands as if she was trying to find the right thing to say.

"The bond changes things… it amplifies your emotions. So if you are happy, you are nearly deliriously happy with the bond. And if you are mad, then you are in a rage…" she said as she looked away. Hadley's eyes narrowed, he felt his anger start to rise.

"Has this man hurt you?" he asked furiously. Amara shook her head and looked away. It was obvious to Hadley that the man had done something to her. He would find, even if he had to beat it out of this Alistair.

"No… he's just…" she sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. "I rejected his affection Hadley… I tried to explain to him that it's just too soon since Aedan's death and with Urthemiel… I just wasn't ready, I'm still not." She looked at him, there was fear in her eyes. "He's been so angry since then…I can feel it through the bond along with his desire for me… it makes me uncomfortable," she said as she wrung her hands. "The bond has warped and change things… he used to be so nice but now he's possessive and angry. I had hoped that Bran or Cullen would have been willing to do it… to be my champion but that's not going to happen. I don't know if I'm strong enough to resist Urthemiel but I'm going to have to find out… I can't stay bonded to him…"

"I'll do it," he said without hesitation. Amara just looked at him before shaking her head.

"No… you are Knight-Captain, the Circle needs you… I can't ask you to do this," she said adamantly.

"You're not asking me… I'm volunteering love," he said simply. Amara frowned and shook her head stubbornly.

"Hadley… the bond changes things, you are like a brother to me… I don't want to lose that. I don't want things to become twisted," she said miserably.

"I can't stay here Amara… not after what just happened," he said quietly, his heart heavy. "If it would have been left in my hands, all of those people would be dead."

"There was nothing you could have done without reinforcements…" she said trying to reassure him. Hadley shook his head.

"No Amara… if we had reinforcements we would have slaughtered everyone inside," he looked away, the guilt eating away at him. "I will never be able to look at anyone that survived without feeling guilt. And don't worry about things changing between us… because they won't."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked doubtfully. He smiled at her and started to pull himself up to stand on the beam.

"Because I'm me love," he gave her a cocky grin. "I'm not some desperate love lorn boy. I do have self-control and besides… you are my sister in nearly every sense of the word, anything more would be gross." Amara laughed softly as he pulled her up and gave her a hug. "Let me help you love," he said as he gave her a kiss on the forehead. Amara nodded, she seemed relieved. "First thing though… we need to get to the bottom of why you are wrapped up in all of this in the first place… we need to go talk to Irving… this can't wait any longer."

-O-

**Amara**

They found Lena and Morrigan on the way to Irving's office. Amara asked that they come with her and Hadley to talk to Irving. She wanted Lena there to help keep things honest and Morrigan to share any information she may have learned from her mother. The four of them found Irving alone resting in his study. Amara stood there in the doorway staring at the man she use to see as a father figure, a man who looked out for her, a man who protected her… now she just saw an old man with a lot of secrets.

"Irving…" she said evenly from the door. Irving looked up at her, his eyes filled with sorrow and they had a troubled look about them. He pushed up from his desk to stand.

"Amara… please, come in," he offered as he gestured to a small meeting area on the far side of his office. He didn't seem to mind that her companions were with her, he shut the door and followed them over, taking a seat across from Amara. He studied at her with his wizened old eyes as if noting all of the changes from when he saw her last. "You have questions," he stated as he drew his eyes from her face to glance at the others. "I will try to answer them to the best of my abilities." He sat there passively waiting for her to speak, for some reason his demeanor bothered her.

"Was what Caladrius said true? Was there something in the tower that weakened my magic that he took?" she asked as she watched his face closely. Irving sighed and his brow furrowed.

"Yes," he said simply. Amara sat there waiting for him to elaborate, her patience was wearing thinner by the minute. "We had to… it was the only way to keep your powers in check and keep you hidden," he explained. To hide me… keep me locked up… a prisoner.

"We?" Amara asked, trying to keep her resentment under control. "Who else was involved in this?" she asked, feeling her calm façade start to crack. How many others were wrapped up in this? How many others have been lying to her?

"Malcolm, Wynne, Flemeth, and myself," he said. "We did this after your mother was killed… we all agreed this was the best way to protect you."

"Who is Malcolm? And Wynne helped? In a way that doesn't surprise me, she has always hated me and my magic," Amara said irritably, the woman made her stay at the tower nearly unbearable at times. Irving shook his head.

"She didn't hate you… she was afraid of what you could become," Irving said as he looked away for a moment to collect his thoughts. So Wynne was afraid of her and that was the justification for her mistreatment? "It will be easier if I just explain things from the beginning… it may help you understand things better."

"Go ahead," Amara said as she crossed her arms and sat back in the chair. Anger pulsed through her veins… her whole life just seemed like one big lie.

"After King Maric had freed Ferelden from Orlesian rule there was a decade of rebuilding and growth. During that time mages were freer than ever before, we were able to travel more and work in the communities. A little over twenty years ago I was working in Lothering's Chantry when I met Malcolm Hawke and your mother Eliana. We were all mages and became friends rather quickly." Amara had never heard the name Malcolm ever mentioned when she was a child.

"Was Malcolm my father?" she had to ask. Irving shook his head.

"No child, he was not… but they were in love. She met him in Kirkwall when she ran away from home. Her family were nobles and having a mage daughter would have cost the Amell's social standing. She tried to hide her abilities as long as she could but when it became apparent she didn't have the control she left instead of bringing shame on her family name," Irving explained. Amara shook her head… of course, no noble family would want their line tainted by a mage. "Your mother came to her magic late in life, Malcolm and I helped her a lot with spells and control. Malcolm started a study group where we would meet to help your mother and expand our own skills. We started to study forgotten magic together… Malcolm had spent several years in Tevinter before moving to Kirkwall, he brought back several books on ancient Tevinter spells with him," Irving continued, his eyes taking on distant look.

"Forgotten magic? Blood magic?" asked Hadley, he suddenly seemed more interested in the conversation at the mention of magic.

"No not blood magic… this magic focused on the old gods. It was a passion of Malcolm's, we all became involved with it… conducting rituals and learning the different spells. What we didn't know was that kind of magic leaves a mark on the users and nature… this drew Flemeth's attention to us. We didn't know who she was at first, we just thought she was a powerful mage," Irving's voice drifted off as if he was lost in his memories for a moment.

"I find it difficult to believe my mother's appearance and mannerisms did not alert you to who she was," Morrigan commented, her voice heavy with skepticism.

"She was different then… a woman in her twenties and very beautiful with raven black hair. She used the name Ashar, we did not know her true nature until sometime after you were born Amara," Irving clarified. "She helped us take our studies farther than we ever thought possible. After a year of intense study and practice we thought we were strong enough to try one of the summoning rituals that Flemeth had in a grimoire."

"To summon what?" asked Amara, she had a sickening feeling her stomach… she knew where this story was leading.

"One of the old gods," he said quietly, he ignored the sounds of disbelief and anger from her companions. "The ritual can only be performed one day out of the year… on the spring equinox. It was a ritual of conception…" he paused for a moment, the room was quiet… no one made a sound. "These rituals were commonplace in ancient Tevinter, legends say that was how mages came to be… they were the children of the gods and mortal women. This had fascinated Malcolm, he wanted to attempt the ritual… Flemeth had volunteered to do it. So for six months we prepared, everything was ready but then a week before the equinox Flemeth informed us that she was unable to participate, so Malcolm convinced Eliana to take her place. He promised that if a pregnancy occurred that they would raise the child together as a family."

"Why was Flemeth unable to do the ritual?" Lena asked. "Seems a little convenient to me…"

"She was unable to participate because she was already pregnant," he said, his eyes sought out Morrigan's. "With my child…" he said softly. Amara watched as the color completely drained from Morrigan's face.

"She never told me who my father was…" Morrigan murmured with a dazed look on her face, she quickly looked away to hide the emotions Amara saw flash in her eyes. Amara was shocked, never in a million years would she have thought Irving of all people was Morrigan's father.

"No… she did not feel it necessary for me to be a part of your life," Irving said bitterly. He gave Morrigan a sad look. "I am sorry…" he said, the pain evident in his voice. "I wanted to be there but she refused me."

"'Tis not you I require an apology from… 'tis my mother," she said angrily. She stood up and looked at Amara. "I am sorry Amara… but I need to go… I have to find my mother," her voice broke. "I will return in four days…" she said abruptly as she crossed the room. Before Amara could say anything she was out the door. She stood to follow her but Hadley grabbed her hand.

"Let her go love… she needs to do this…" he said as he let go of her hand. "She needs her answers as do you." He fixed his eyes on the First Enchanter. "Please continue… Eliana took Flemeth's place?" Irving nodded, he took a few moments to regain his composure before starting again, his eyes glancing briefly at the door.

"Yes… she did… reluctantly. The ritual was successful… by sunrise of the following morning Eliana was with child," he looked away, unable to meet Amara's shocked eyes. "We succeeded in doing something that hasn't been done since ancient times… the first god child to walk Thedas in a thousand years…" Even though there was regret and sorrow in his voice, Amara couldn't help but notice pride was in there to.

"Wow… you people are freaks," Lena sneered disdainfully. "So Amara's mother gets coerced into this ritual by her fanatical lover. You do a ritual and watch the poor woman get impregnated by a god all night and you consider it a success? Besides being just sick and wrong did you even think about the repercussions?"

"Of course I thought about it… but Flemeth had us convinced it was the right thing to do. She said the ritual was the only thing that could make everything right for mages… The only thing that would cause the world to change was for the old gods to return… to rule. There was no way the Chantry could stand up to a god. It would be a new order… where mages were free. I didn't think of the cost… I didn't think about Eliana… not until it was done, then it was too late. Eliana was already pregnant…" he said regretfully. Lena just shook her head and glared at the First Enchanter.

"Which god?" Amara asked softly.

"It was Razikale… he was the god that responded to the summons…" Irving said quietly. Amara nodded, as she remembered that time weeks ago when she met the mysterious man claiming to be father in the Fade.

_**"You may call me Kale or father if you wish"**_

Another play on names, just like with Miel. Amara cursed herself for being so stupid and not putting it together before. Maybe she just didn't want to believe it was true…

"Razikale is my father…" Amara whispered. The implication terrified her, she realized that she had to admit what truly scared her… that she wasn't human.

"What happened after the ritual?" asked Lena. "I take it that whole big happy family thing didn't exactly work out?" she asked sarcastically. Irving glared at her for a moment before shaking his head.

"After the ritual we went our separate ways… Eliana and Malcolm purchased a small cottage near Lothering. Shortly after that her sister Leandra moved in with them, she had fled Kirkwall to avoid an arranged marriage to the son of some Lord… Harimann if I remember correctly," he said thoughtfully. "I lost touch with them for several months… when I was pulled back to the Circle. It was also at that time that Flemeth had distanced herself from me. By the time I was able to get back to Lothering everything had fallen apart. Eliana had left with Flemeth… Malcolm said she had changed. Eliana pushed him away, she said the god found her in the Fade nearly every night," Amara looked at Irving sharply. "He said she was obsessed with him, could only think of Razikale and of their child… nothing else mattered. Eliana lost herself, she claimed to be in love with the god. It was a terrible situation… your mother was never the same," he said sadly, his face marred with regret. "Malcolm eventually moved on and married her sister Leandra and started a family. He wanted no part of the search for Flemeth and Eliana… but I didn't give up. I tried to make it right Amara… I tried to find you and Morrigan. It took me four years to find Flemeth's cottage in the Wilds and when I did Flemeth revealed her true nature and threatened me so I stayed away… I didn't know what she was capable of… I was afraid for my daughter and for you and your mother," he said, his voice broke. Amara could see the sorrow and regret etched in his face and reflected through his eyes.

"I think I remember when that happened," Amara said quietly. "My mother took Morrigan and I to a ruin deep in the Wilds… we stayed there for a couple weeks." Irving nodded as he struggled to regain his composure.

"Neither of you were there when I arrived, just Flemeth… she was waiting for me, she knew I was coming and had moved you," Irving said with a shake of his head. "She was always one step ahead… The next time I saw Flemeth is when she brought you to me after your mother was killed by the darkspawn. You had just turned six at the time but your magic was beyond anything I had seen. Flemeth wanted me to hide you in the circle, she said she lacked the means to protect you… the Wilds were just too exposed, the darkspawn too close."

"I remember that now that Flemeth gave me back my memories… I remember you arguing with her and shutting the door," Amara said as she tried to remember more but could not.

"Yes… I did not want you here… your powers would draw too much attention from the Templars. Flemeth had a solution to that…" he trailed off. Irving got up and went to his desk, he pulled out a small box and brought back and sat down. "The creature that killed your mother was carrying a bag chains made of this," he said as he leaned forward and handed Amara the box. She paused for a moment before opening the box, she didn't know what to expect. The box lid opened easily, laying inside on a velvet cushion was a piece of shiny metal.

"Silver?" she asked in confusion. Irving shook his head.

"No, it is not silver… it is a type of star metal, this is what was used to make the prisons for the old gods. You are a child of Razikale, it would affect you," he said solemnly. "The creature had planned to imprison you in it so you would not be able to use your magic against it. Luckily your powers manifested when they did and you were able to kill it… your fate otherwise is too unbearable to consider." Amara looked down at the metal in disgust and quickly handed it back to Irving. "I had contacted Malcolm and he helped me with creating the items and the wards to subdue your powers while inside of the tower… some powers such as healing were not as affected." Full realization of Caladrius' words hit her and she stared at Irving in dismay.

"And now this Caladrius has them? They are going to use it against me… they already sent a Crow after me. Now they have something that won't allow me to use my magic," Amara said as she wrung her hands, she got up and started to pace the room. "I will be helpless… I won't be able to protect myself."

"Your champion will protect you," Irving said confidently. "The books Malcolm had talked about them and the bond. They are there to protect you when your magic cannot." Amara let out an angry harsh laugh.

"My champion died at Ostagar…" Amara sat back into the chair and covered her face with her hands. Alistair was supposed to protect her… how? If anything, she felt like she had to protect herself from him.

"What do you mean died at Ostagar? There is only one true champion for you… your magic will choose the best match," Irving said the confusion evident on his face. "Who told you that your champion was dead?"

"Flemeth… she went to Ostagar after the battle… she brought back the Kings armor and other belongings," Amara shook her head. "She said he did not survive."

"Did you feel him die… through the bond?" pressed Irving.

"No… we were not bonded at the time, Flemeth broke the bond before the battle. Do you think she lied?" Amara asked incredulously. Why would Flemeth lie to her about something like that?

"If there is one thing in this life that I am certain of child is that Flemeth lies," Irving said bitterly. "Unless you personally saw him die, then I wouldn't believe it." Amara felt sick… she just accepted what Flemeth told her without question… just accepted he was dead. This whole time he could have been searching for her and she just went on… she didn't even dare to hope that he was alive. Amara felt the tears roll down her face.

"He could be at Redcliffe… he could be searching for me…" her voice broke. "I have to go to Redcliffe, I have to be sure."

"It's a boat ride away…" Lena said hopefully. "Two days lost, that's it and we'd both know… Will would be with him if he's alive." Amara looked at her and nodded. Redcliffe… they would leave in the morning, she thought.

"I have to break the bond with Alistair first, he is getting worse…" she looked away uncomfortably. She didn't want to get into what happen near the lake.

"What do you mean getting worse?" inquired Irving. Amara sighed and wrapped her arms around herself.

"It's the bond… it is affecting him. His feelings are so intense, it's affecting his decisions," Amara tried to explain. She didn't want to mention the hug where he wouldn't let go of her, she didn't want them to think worse of him… it was the bond, Alistair was a good person.

"Look I've known Alistair the longest and something is not right with him. He already had a lot of baggage… this bond has made him crazy. The anger thing is totally out of character and if I didn't know that he's only been a Warden for a little over a year I'd think his Calling was near," Lena said, her voice full of concern.

"You're bonded with a Grey Warden?" Irving asked sharply. Amara nodded as she gave the First Enchanter a questioning look. Why would that matter?

"Yes… after the Ostagar battle, I was weakened and unconscious. While I slept I spent five days in Urthemiel's realm and after I woke he was trying to call me to him so Flemeth helped me build the champion bond with Alistair." She saw Irving's face drain of color only to be replaced by a red flush of anger.

"You were alone with him?" Amara nodded. "Flemeth let it happen? She left you in Urthemiel's presence?" he asked in disbelief.

"He didn't hurt me Irving…" she tried to explain but Irving wasn't listening.

"Don't you understand that he could have taken you then? Consumed your mind and used you as a weapon against all of Thedas?" he seethed, his normal calm demeanor shattered.

"But he didn't… he doesn't want me to be his slave, he let me go," she didn't know why she felt like she need to defend Urthemiel especially after the involvement of the Tevinters but she knew he would never purposely harm her.

"Foolish girl! You will be his slave regardless, he is a god… you will always lose yourself in his will, just like your mother did with Razikale!" he raged, his anger escalating. "Flemeth exposed you to him and she bonded you to someone tainted! You cannot bond with the tainted!" he yelled. "That stupid vengeful demoness!" he bellowed as he stood up from his chair. "Does she want us all dead?" Everyone was startled by Irving's outburst as he paced about the room. Amara exchanged worried glances with Hadley, his eyes were wide with shock. Amara had never seen Irving angry before. Everyone was silent as Irving paced the room for a few minutes calming himself before he returned to his seat and sat down heavily. "I apologize," he said gruffly. "I do not trust Flemeth and her actions thus far lead me to believe she is working against us."

"What does she have to gain? It seems that it would be in her best interests if we stop the Blight," Hadley asked his eyes full of confusion.

"She said that Urthemiel was not supposed to be the Archdemon, she said Lusacan was destined to be the Archdemon… from what you said Irving, it was her spell that brought my father and mother together. I think Flemeth has been planning this for a long time… to bring Urthemiel back. Maybe that is what she is doing? Maybe she knows a way to free him from the corruption and the darkspawn influence?" speculated Amara. Irving shook his head.

"It does not work that way. Even if the taint could be removed the broken mind, the evilness will remain. It does not matter, there is no way to remove the taint," Irving said dismissively.

"I have done it… once," Amara said quietly. "I healed Lena's taint." Irving eyes snapped to hers, full of disbelief.

"Yes she did… you can check, it's gone. I can still sense the taint but other Wardens cannot sense me," Lena said with a shrug. Irving rubbed his eyes, Amara couldn't help but notice how weary he looked.

"Then her actions make more sense… she wants you try and save him. Even if you managed… he would not be a benevolent god, not after being tainted. The darkspawn will still be drawn to him… he could still control them. The darkspawn will always seek to corrupt the gods… that is their nature. It is why your tainted champion is drawn to you… the taint is driving him to you. That is why you cannot bond with anyone who is tainted… Flemeth had a part in making it happen… you magic would not do it naturally." Irving said noted.

"What if I healed him of the taint?" asked Amara.

"It's too late for that… it has already corrupted his mind. You need to break the bond as soon as possible… stay away from him for a while. It may diminish some but it will never completely go away," Irving said sadly. Amara nodded, she already knew she needed to… it just bothered her to know that even after the bond was gone things would not be right. Amara frowned.

"Irving… why can I not use my magic other than healing on my champion?" It has been a question that has bothered her, especially after Alistair's unwanted affections.

"Because your champion is an extension of you… you cannot harm yourself," he said simply. Amara looked at Hadley.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked, while she felt a little better about it knowing that Alistair's behavior was due to the taint but she didn't want to burden him.

"Of course love, the sooner the better…" Hadley said with a small smile. He looked at Irving, "When can we do this?"

"I need to rest… I may have to assist," he said, the fatigue heavy in his voice. "Let me rest for a few hours then we can fix this." Amara stood up and started towards the door, Lena and Hadley did the same.

"We will let you rest…" she said as she pulled open the door.

"Amara…" Irving called, she paused and turned towards him. "I am truly sorry for this…" She shook her head.

"It is not all your burden to bear… but thank you for trying to put things right," she said evenly. Irving nodded, his eyes were troubled, Amara doubted anything she said eased his guilt any. Once she considered him one of the most trustworthy people she knew. Her list of trusted friends has grown exceptionally smaller these days… she wondered if she could truly trust anyone anymore.

-O-


	31. Chapter 31 Tainted Obsession

**Authors Note****:** Sorry this is later than normal… had to work late a lot this week and this chapter was not easy to write. I don't like writing stuff like this but it was necessary for the plotline to work. A few may ask, "Why do this to Alistair?" well I needed him to be corrupt/creepy but on the surface be much the same as he was in DA:O, I thought he had enough baggage already it wouldn't take much to shape his character this way. I also wanted to harden Amara's character in the process. I tried to stay away from going too detailed with the subject matter, but it's still sensitive material none the less.

-O-

**Chapter 31 – Tainted obsession**

_The King will try to take the Light,_

_The Corrupted interferes, the Beast triumphs:_

_The Green Dales Prophecy, Rev 6 (3-5)_

**Amara**

She knew she should rest like the others but there was no way that she could shut her thoughts off to do it. Amara had been up for over a day now but sleep would not find her. Her mind could not let go of the fact that Flemeth could have lied. Tomorrow morning they were going to get on a boat to Redcliffe, by tomorrow evening she would know. Dare she hope? Amara wanted to… she wanted to more than anything. Aedan had been her center, she had felt safe around him… protected and cherished. She longed for that again… but would she have it? Question after question echoed in her mind, it was maddening. How would Aedan react to what she is and how she came to be? What then? And Miel… how would she even begin to explain her relationship with the god? With all the questions came the inevitable self-doubts… So much has happened and so many things were different now, if he is alive would he even want to be involved in this mess anymore? Would he even want her anymore? Amara felt unworthy of Aedan now, especially since she could not find the hope before to believe that he may still be alive. She wouldn't blame him if he ran the other way if he saw her coming.

Amara got up off the hard bed and started to pace inside of the small room they had given her to sleep in. She felt confined… caged… she needed to get out of the tower. After pulling her soft leather boots on she grabbed her cloak and left to go outside. She felt that the fresh air and the lake would help clear her worried mind. It was just after dinner, several people were milling about the tower. Greagoir had the Templars working in shifts to clean up, the pyres have been burning outside since the morning. Some of the people that she passed in the hallways gave her cheerful greetings, the majority gave her uneasy glances. What she had done to free the tower did not go unnoticed… she could see the fear in their eyes. That really bothered her… she never wanted to be feared. Just one more thing to add to her already troubled mind.

The doors were finally in sight, she wanted more than anything to just sit by the lake and try to relax. Everything was weighing down on her, she just wanted a few moments of peace. There was just too much for her to bear… At least Irving will be awake soon and they will fix the situation with the bond, Hadley would be her champion… that will be one less thing for her to worry about. Hopefully Alistair will return to his old self… no longer will the taint and the bond twist him into the man he had become. Amara felt it was her fault, Alistair would be normal if it wasn't for her. Amara was almost out the door when she heard someone call her name.

"Lady Amara! Wait up!" a voice called. She turned to see Finn running towards her. "I wanted to thank you…" he stopped breathlessly before her. Amara offered him a tight smile.

"You don't have to thank me Finn…" she tried to say but the excitable young man cut her over.

"Yes I do… we'd all would be dead if it was left to the Templars," he said in a hushed voice. "I just wanted you to know that… there are several mages here that appreciate what you have done. And if you ever need anything… well you just let us know." Amara gave him a genuine smile then.

"Thank you, I will remember that." She paused for a moment. "Finn, you are the expert on Tevinter right?" she asked. Finn smiled broadly and nodded.

"I have spent most of my life here at the tower studying anything I could get my hands on about the Tevinter Imperium… is there something specific you needed to know about?" he asked, his tone becoming more professional.

"I have many questions actually… I was just about to head down to the lake for a bit. Will you be available in an hour?" she asked, maybe Finn would know about any groups that would want Urthemiel as a ruler again.

"Of course My Lady… I'm at your disposal," he said with a bow. Amara couldn't help but smile at the mage.

"Ok… I'll meet you in the dining hall when I'm done," she said before she turned to leave. Finn nodded and went back towards the mage quarters.

It didn't take her long to walk down the narrow path to the lake shore. She noticed a quiet spot by the trees where she would be able to sit and dangle her feet in the water. Amara glanced back up the path and saw several people outside, she felt more comfortable knowing people were just a shout away. She sat down on the moss covered bank and took her boots off. After swinging her feet into the water she leaned back against the trunk of the tree on the bank. She finally started to feel the peace she had hoped she would find as the cool clear water seemed to drain her worries away. The lack of sleep had caught up with her as she relaxed at the water's edge. A heavy fatigue overcame her, Amara wasn't able to fight it off, it had caught her off guard and her eyes started to slowly close. The last thing she remembered was the sound of crickets before she was fast asleep.

-O-

A severe wave of nausea shot through Amara jarring her from her slumber. She sat up sharply gasping for breath as she fought the urge to empty her stomach. In her disorientation and struggle against the nausea she noticed the sun had just set on the horizon leaving the area covered in shadows.

"Why?" a harsh voice said causing her to turn, Amara found herself looking up at Alistair's cold angry eyes. She felt her heart speed up in fear as she realized no one knew she was here. It was too dangerous to be alone with him with the bond affecting the taint within him. She should have stayed inside the tower…

"Alistair? Why what?" she asked trying to keep her voice calm and she quickly grabbed her stockings and boots. Her hands shook as she tried to tie the laces, it was the only visible sign of his effect on her. She hope that he didn't see how frightened she truly was.

"Why are you making Hadley your champion?" he hissed, his anger flared across the bond making it harder for her to focus. She closed her eyes for a moment to try to regain some type of center before replying. If she kept calm maybe he would calm down himself, she thought.

"We have to do it Alistair," she said finally in a neutral voice. "The Grey Warden taint is affecting the bond," she tried to explain as she stood up. "It would be best for both of us if we were not bonded." Amara looked towards the tower in the decreasing light of dusk to see that there were no people outside… her heart fell. Would anyone hear her if she cried for help? She should have stayed in the tower…

"The bond has been fine this whole time with the taint… stop lying Amara," he said bitterly as he took a step towards her. Amara felt like a trapped animal, the only way to the tower with the trees on her right and the lake on her left was through Alistair. She could go behind her but that would take her into the woods… she knew going farther away from the tower was a mistake. Every instinct she had was telling her to run.

"I'm not lying Alistair… First Enchanter Irving said it is when we met with him earlier." She saw him take another step closer, it was hard not to back away but she didn't want to show any fear, she was scared of how he would react. The emotions flooding the bond made it hard to think, she didn't know if she should take her chances and run now or wait for a better opportunity.

"You want him… you want Hadley now. That's why you are lying about the bond…isn't it?" he asked desperately the anxiety and fear noticeable in his face. She could see that he was losing control, even at the mere thought of her binding with another. He stepped forward again and grabbed her arm. "Isn't it?!" he yelled. Pain ran through her arm as his grip tightened causing her to cry out. Her chance to run now gone… why didn't she run when she had the chance.

"Alistair stop! You're hurting me…" she cried as she tried to pull away from his grasp. Amara tried to will her magic against him but nothing happened. The pain in her arm and the anger flowing through the bond made her panic.

"Why do you want him Amara? Why am I not good enough?" his voice was harsh and full of pain. Amara tried to pull away from him, it was clear that there would be no reasoning with him. She took a step back only to have Alistair roughly pull her back to him. "I want to know… why don't you want me?" he said as he grabbed her other arm and pulled her flush against him. Amara couldn't control her fear… he had never been this aggressive towards her. Alistair was too strong, she couldn't pull away.

"Alistair let me go," she said the calmness of her voice was gone as fear started to fill her. "Listen to me Alistair… this has nothing to do with Hadley. I don't want him, he is just a friend. Please listen to me," she pleaded, hoping that somewhere in there the old Alistair was listening. He seemed to ease a way a bit, Amara have a brief moment of hope that he was listening to her. That moment was fleeting, in the next instant Alistair bent down quickly and kissed her. Amara froze she did not know what to do, all she knew was she did not want to encourage this. He pressed his lips harder and grabbed the sides of her face with his hands trying to deepen this kiss. Amara didn't want this, no one has ever done anything against her will. She stood perfectly still with her jaw clenched and her lips tight, after a few moments Alistair groaned in frustration and pulled away. Amara used this as an opportunity to put some distance between them and backed away, the back of her hand wiping off her mouth in disgust. She felt sick, the rush of desire and anger through the bond left her revolted and afraid.

"You're supposed to kiss me back… just like the way I saw you kissing Aedan," he mumbled, his voice full of confusion. "That is how it is supposed to be." He looked at Amara as she stepped away from him, the confusion fled his face to be replaced by rage. The intense burst of emotion through the bond caused her to nearly fall as dizziness overtook her, she struggled to regain her footing. "Where are you going Amara? You're not going to leave! You're not going to abandon me too!" he said as he stomped towards her. Amara scrambled backwards trying to get away from him, her fear and panic making it hard for her to think. He grabbed her before she could get too far pulling her back to him. "I'm your champion! You are mine to protect!"

"Alistair stop! It's the bond… you need to fight it. Please Alistair!" she sobbed as he brought his hand up to her face. Amara desperately tried to call to her magic… anything she managed to get focus for had no effect on him. She didn't want him touching her… just his presence made her sick, when he touched her it was so much worse. It was almost as if she could feel the taint trying to burrow into her flesh.

"You're mine to protect…" he murmured as he tried to wipe the tears from her cheek with his thumb. He bent down and tried to kiss her again roughly, his tongue running over her clenched lips. He became more angry and frustrated when she did not return the kiss or bid his tongue access. "Why can't you just kiss me Amara? Am I not good enough for you? Why?" he yelled as he shook her. "Why can't you love me?" Amara pushed at his arms and twisted trying to break his hold on her. "I've been patient… ever since Ostagar… no more… I will take what is mine!" He pulled open the top of her bodice and grabbed her around the waist, ignoring her struggling and pleas. Amara's tried to scream but he covered her mouth with his hand as he started to kiss her neck and moved lower to her collar bone. No! No! Not this, her mind chanted. She had to get away, she couldn't let this happen. Alistair pulled back to look at her for a moment when she smacked him as hard as she could with her hand cupped on his ear. It was enough to break his hold on her as he yelled in pain and fell to the ground. Amara took off running, disorientated from her fear and the effects of the bond. She thought she was running towards the tower but was turned around in the shadows of dusk. Terror filled her when Amara heard him yelling her name not far behind her.

-O-

**Zevran**

He knew something was off when he had awoken to a quiet tower, he expected to hear people milling about for the dinner rush. He got up and noticed that it was darker than he thought… the sun had just set, he definitely missed dinner. Zevran pulled his boots on and checked to make sure all of his daggers were where they should be. He strapped on his short sword and headed out of the room. It was early afternoon since he had the pleasure of chatted with the lovely Amara. After hearing everything discussed as he lurked outside the First Enchanters office, he thought he should check on her and make sure she was doing ok. He didn't understand his need to protect this girl…his mark turned friend and ally. Maybe it had to do with what she was… Zevran had bragged in the past at being in the company of a goddess, now he could say that as a fact. He started down the hallway to her room and noticed her door ajar, finding this odd he sped up and made it down the hallway quickly. Zevran pushed the door open quickly, a dagger ready if needed. The door banged on the wall and a young man jumped up in a fright from the chair he had been sitting in. Zevran gave the man a questioning look.

"Are you lost my friend?" Zevran asked as he cautiously walked into the room. He wanted to make sure that there was a reason this person was in Amara's room.

"Uh y...yes I was waiting for Lady Amara. She was supposed to meet me earlier and she didn't show up and they closed the dining hall so I came here." Zevran's heart sped up in alarm. His eyes quickly surveyed the room, everything was as it should be but then he focused on the small dagger he had given her on the dresser… worry started to fill him.

"How long ago?" he asked shortly. The young man started to fidget.

"About two hours ago… she said she was going to the lake for a bit," he said quickly. "I asked around and no one had seen her so I came here." Zevran blanched as panic set in, he grabbed the young man's arm.

"You need to go to Greagoir and tell him that Amara is in danger. Go!" he shoved the young man towards the door. Zevran started to run down the hall to get to the entrance way… he hoped he was not too late.

-O-

**Amara**

Amara did not get far before he caught up to her, he burst through the underbrush into the small clearing she had ran to. He was much faster than her and quickly caught up to her, his arm grabbed her around the waist while the other covered her mouth as he jerked her back against him.

"You shouldn't have done that Amara," he growled into her ear. The rage and hurt coming through the bond was overpowering her senses. Amara tried to struggle but it was hopeless, there was no escape from his grip. Alistair roughly spun her around and pulled her to his chest, her cries in fear were muffled as he roughly kissed her again, his lips bruising hers. Her lack of response only enraged him more as he dragged them both to the ground. Fear paralyzed her as Alistair pressed his weight down on her constricting her chest. Amara gasped as her breath left her, a feeling of suffocation overwhelmed her. She could not catch her breath as he mauled her mouth. Pain shot through her arms as his hands pushing them into the ground as his knee tried to press between her thighs. One thought broke through the fear and pain… break the bond! Alistair let go of one of her arms, using his hand to pry her thighs apart, ignoring her as she hit, slapped and clawed at him. Break the bond! It echoed through her terrified mind as she fought to no avail against him. Alistair managed pried her thighs apart, forcefully pushing his knees in between hers. Break the bond! Amara tried to focus, if she broke the bond he would stop… if she broke the bond she could make him stop. She tried to ignore what he was doing to her body and focus on the bond. Her mind homed in on the source of the rage and desire, she felt her magic flare as she willed it to break the connection between them.

It was a euphoric feeling when the bond broke. For a few precious moments it was as if a peace filled her and she was able to breathe again. She heard Alistair scream in pain as he fell off of her, he laid on the ground groaning as he gripped his head. Amara managed to pull herself up from the ground, she tried to refasten her robe, feeing humiliated over what almost just happened. She went to take a step when a sharp pain in her head nearly caused her to crumble to the ground. Amara grabbed the sides of her head and tried to heal herself, the pain only subsided a little. Her vision started to blur, she stumbled over to a nearby tree and leaned against its trunk.

"Amara…" a voice whispered in her mind, a new wave a pain cascaded behind her eyes causing her to bend over and vomit… every throb of pain caused her stomach to heave. With a shaky hand she wiped her mouth off as she backed away, her hand desperately gripping the rough bark of the tree.

"Amara…" the voice whispered again causing her knees to nearly buckle as vertigo overtook her. She could feel another presence in her mind, pushing and probing at her thoughts. She leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes as she tried to heal herself again. A loud rushing wind sound filled her ears as she started to slide down the tree trunk to its base. She never reached the base… powerful hands grabbed her and threw her on the hard ground, knocking the wind from her lungs. He was on her the next moment ripping open the front of her robes, she tried to fight him off but she was too weak. Amara's vision started to go dark, she could only see a vague blurry image of his face… Alistair. He was screaming at her but she could not hear it, the rushing wind sound surpassed it. She felt it as he tore her smalls off and violently pulled her legs apart. Everything started to fade then… she felt like she was dying, completely disconnected from her body. The presence in mind seemed almost frantic as it engulfed her consciousness. It was Urthemiel… in a desperate moment she focused what shred of will she had left on the presence.

"Miel… help me!" she called out then everything went black.

-O-

**Zevran**

Zevran had his daggers in hand as he ran towards the sound of the man's voice. He leapt over the tree limbs and underbrush running as fast as he could between the trees.

"You're mine! Bond or no bond I will take what is mine!" the man's voice was closer. It didn't sound like Alistair's voice but he knew it was. He prayed he was not too late, he would kill him if he was… he would make his suffering last before he cut his throat. Zevran broke through some bushes into a clearing, he eyes focused in on the two bodies on the ground next to a tree. Rage filled him as he started to sprint across the clearing. His keen eyes noticed movement in the shadows next to them; the shadows grew larger and changed… they took shape and formed into a tall man. The man stepped forward and grabbed Alistair by the back of his neck, he threw him across the clearing and into a tree on the other side. The Warden fell to the ground and did not move. Zevran froze as his mind tried to come to grips with what he had just seen. He stood there and watched as the tall man knelt down next to Amara. Willing his legs to work again, Zevran slowly started to approach them. The man gently fixed her robes preserving her modesty and smoothed out her hair. The closer Zevran came the more detail he could make out of the stranger, even in the dim light he could see that he was striking, this was no ordinary man. There was a hum in the air, he could feel the man's presence, a raw power radiated from him.

"I was too late…" the man said softly as he stroke Amara's cheek. Zevran hesitated for a moment, a realization of who this was became clear in his mind. This was no man, this was the god he had heard them referring to in hushed tones… this as Urthemiel. "I would spare her as much of this as I can. I never wanted her harmed… she is too precious to me." Urthemiel's hand started to glow a brilliant gold as he caressed her cheek, Zevran watched as the scratches and bruises dissolved from her face and neck. In the illumination from the glow he was able to see the god's features better, Zevran had seen many handsome men before but none like this; he could easily see why he was called the god of beauty. As he studied the beings face he noticed something alarming, near his hairline were the telltale black spider web veins of blight sickness. Even corrupted he came to her aid… Zevran kept his distance as Urthemiel continued to heal Amara. "She will not remember everything… to remember it all would break her," the god said quietly.

"But she will remember some?" Zevran asked. Urthemiel nodded, he turned slightly to look at him, Zevran found it hard to breath when those pale green eyes focused on him.

"I cannot take away the emotions, they leave a mark that even I cannot erase." He reached down and lifted Amara into his arms, cradling her to his chest. Zevran felt like he was intruding on a private moment … he awkwardly stood there, unsure of what to do. "My Amara…" Urthemiel murmured as he held her tight. He brought her hand to his lips, kissing it softly before he brought it up and pressed it to his cheek. "I do not have much time…" Urthemiel said to Zevran, his eyes never leaving Amara's face. "Please tell her that I came to her aid but it had a very high price. Miel is no more… I no longer have the strength to fight the corruption… she needs to stay away from me," he warned as his voice broke. "She needs to find her true champion before it is too late. The darkspawn will come now… I can no longer restrain them or myself." He brought her palm to his lips before placing her hand on her chest. "I do not wish to hurt her… keep her away." He watched as Urthemiel bent down and lovingly kissed Amara's lips, tears streaming down his face. Zevran felt his own heart break a little as he watched the god say goodbye to his mate. Everything everyone had told him said this creature was evil… but when he saw the tenderness and love that he showed Amara, Zevran knew that was not entirely the case. Urthemiel slowly stood up as he cradled Amara in his arms. "Take her please," he said softly to Zevran. He quickly sheaved his daggers and waited to take Amara from the god's arms. Urthemiel placed a lingering kiss on her forehead then handed her to the elf. The god stepped back and Zevran noticed his form seemed to darken and dim. "Tell her that I will always love her…" he said and then he was gone. Zevran stood there holding Amara stunned over what had just happened. He could hear voices calling in the distance, he clutched Amara tightly and quickly walked in the direction of the voices.

"We are here!" he called into the darkening woods. The sound of plate armor and the snapping of branches filled the cooling night air as five Templars charged through the underbrush led by Ser Hadley. His eyes widened in the torch light when he saw Zevran carrying Amara, he quickly ran to his side.

"Is she…" he started to ask, his face pale as he looked at Amara's limp form.

"She is alive," Zevran said as he turned. "I do not know whether he lives…" he said as looked towards Alistair's crumpled form in the distance. Hadley's eyes narrowed and filled with anger.

"What happened? What did he do?" demanded Hadley, his rage barely contained.

"Alistair attacked her," Zevran said quietly. "I do not know the details… when I got here he was being thrown into the trees. Urthemiel saved her… not I"

"What do you mean Urthemiel saved her?" he said incredulously. Zevran led Hadley away from the others.

"When I arrived he appeared out of the shadows, he threw Alistair off of her and into the trees… he healed Amara before disappearing. I will explain more but first we need to get her back to the tower… it would be best to have the mages check her." Hadley nodded and turned towards his men.

"Get him up," he said harshly. "If he lives… take him to the cells below the tower, if not throw him on one of the pyres!" His men nodded and left to carry out their orders. Hadley looked down at Amara as Zevran carried her, his eyes full of sadness and regret. "Let's get her to Irving."

-O-


	32. Chapter 32 Reunions

**Authors Note****:** Finally! This chapter is kind of broken up to get events to sync up. The title explains it all… I kept this one simple… next chapter is when the proverbial poo hits the fan when Aedan learns about everything that happen since Ostagar. Thanks for reading!

-O-

**Chapter 32 – Reunions**

**Amara**

She was fine… they continued to ask and all she would say was that she was fine. The truth was that she was far from fine but they wouldn't understand why. Zevran had told her everything even though everyone had told him not to. Again they wanted more secrets… did Irving think she wouldn't ask? No, he expected everyone to listen to him and lie to her as they have always done. Amara was grateful that Zevran didn't go along with Irving, she counted him as a true friend. He told her that Miel had saved her, she didn't know how he managed to free himself from his dragon form and appear in the woods next to the tower… it must have taken every ounce of power he had. She knew what that meant… he had nothing left to fight off the corruption, what was Miel was now gone. Amara mourned him, she mourned the loss of what could have been but would never be. No one could understand how that felt. He sacrificed the last part that was truly him to stop Alistair and heal her. Amara was overcome with guilt… her own stupidity had caused this to happen. Why did she leave the tower unescorted? How could she think she was safe after what Alistair had tried at the lake the before? He was a dangerous but she always looked the other way… Amara though he was not capable of harming her. She was nothing more than the 'foolish girl' that Irving said she was.

They were leaving in a couple hours for Redcliffe, Amara sat in her room and stared out the small window. It has been three days from the attack and she could remember none of it. Zevran said that Miel wanted to spare her and he did… no matter how hard she tried she could not remember anything past sitting on the mossy bank by the tree and resting her feet in the lake. The next thing she remembered was Irving casting above her and Hadley holding her hand. He had been in the process of binding them. Amara remembered fighting them, she was terrified to be bound to anyone again but could not remember why. It was a weak bond, even weaker than the initial one with Aedan. Amara could feel Urthemiel's presence constantly trying to get in, she never felt that with the bond to Alistair… that was fine, she would tolerate it. The only person she was willing to do a full bond with was Aedan… if he was lost to her then this would have to do. When Hadley was near she couldn't feel anything through the bond… it was nice to not have to experience his emotions through the bond. Her own emotions were bad enough, the misplaced fear and anxiety since she had awaken were difficult to deal with. Amara knew the irrational fear she felt was because of the attack, Zevran had told her Miel said those would remain… in a way it was worse because she was afraid with no identifiable cause. She hoped this was only temporary…

A knock at her door brought her out of her thoughts, her heart sped up at the fear of who it could be. Her hand glowed red as it unconsciously moved to the dagger that now hung at her waist… a gift from Zevran. After the second knock she heard a soft voice through the door.

"Amara… it's me Leliana," she said through the door. The glow encompassing her hand dissipated instantly. Amara had been on edge since she learned this morning from Lena that Alistair was out of his cell. He claimed he couldn't remember anything from that night and since a torn robe and smalls was not evidence enough to prove a crime Greagoir had to let him go. Miel healed her, if Alistair had raped her… there would be no proof and she had no memory either, what exactly happen that night was a mystery. Lena promised that he would be kept away from her… she was sending him to Orzammar with the treaty for the dwarves. She also promised that when this Blight was over she would file an official complaint with Weisshaupt against him for attacking a fellow Warden… that was the best she could do. It didn't matter… as long as he stayed far away, she never wanted to look upon him again. Amara got up from her seat by the window and unlocked the door to let Leliana in. "I wanted to see you before I left," she said, Amara noticed she carried a small bundle with her.

"Thank you for stopping to say good bye Leliana," Amara said with a small smile. She always liked the Orlesian bard and wished she was coming to Redcliffe with them. Leliana gave her a sad smile in return.

"I wish that I was accompanying you to Redcliffe, I will miss you," she said as she held out the small wrapped bundle. "I have a gift for you, my friend." Amara raised her eyebrow as she looked at the bundle.

"Shoes?" she asked, a small curl of her lip was the only indication that she was not serious.

"No silly! Just open it," Leliana said with a laugh as she placed the bundle in Amara's hands. She sat down on her bed and started to unwrap the bundle. Inside was a pair of beautiful bracers made of drake scales… they shimmered in the sunlight revealing a spectrum of colors. Amara's eyes started to fill with tears.

"They are so beautiful," she murmured. "I'm a simple mage… I cannot accept something so fine." Leliana waved her off.

"Nonsense! You are a beautiful woman… all women need fine things, no?" She took hold of one of the bracers and held it up before Amara. "Besides… these are no ordinary bracers." Leliana pressed her thumb on a certain small scale and slipped it to the edge, one of the larger scales came loose and slid out of the end revealing a small blade. She held it out to Amara. "There are three of these blades in each bracer… one here, one on this side and one on the back," she pointed out the location of each and showed Amara the way to remove each. Amara was fascinated with the small blades, she took one of the bracers in her hands and practiced removing each blade and putting it back.

"I have never seen anything like this," she said in awe. "More of a reason why I cannot accept this, do you not need these?" she asked. Leliana shook her head and held up her arm. With barely a noticeable movement she produced a small blade from one of her bracers.

"I have these, I rarely have used the pair I am giving you. Please accept them… if you are ever without use of your magic again, these will give you a way to defend yourself. They go overlooked, your dagger will be taken away… these they will not find." Amara nodded, she knew what Leliana said was true. She smiled at the bard and gave her a quick hug.

"Thank you," she said softly, a few grateful tears had escaped her eyes. Leliana gave her a sympathetic smile and squeezed her hand.

"Here let me put them on you," she said as she removed a long narrow pin from the underside of the bracer allowing it to spread enough for Amara to slip her hand in. Leliana fastened the pin back in place and repeated with the other bracer. "They will take some getting used to… but leave them on always, even when bathing. After a while they just become a part of you and others do not notice them either. Tell no one of their true purpose… they become useless if their purpose is known yes?" Amara nodded.

"How do I use them?" Amara asked as she slid one of the blades lose. Leliana spent the next half an hour showing Amara where to use the blades to kill or incapacitate someone.

"Practice when you are alone, you will eventually be able to remove a blade without a sound."

"I can't thank you enough for this Leliana…" Amara said as she ran her fingers over the bracer. Leliana smiled as she stood up.

"Just stay safe… after Orzammar we'll see each other again," Leliana said as she embraced Amara. "I should go, the others are waiting for me." Amara nodded in understanding.

"Please tell Sten and Argos goodbye for me. I would but…" she trailed off and looked anxiously down at her hands. Leliana laid her hand over hers.

"I will and they will understand… none of us are looking forward to this trip. We only do it because Lena asked it of us." Leliana gave her another quick embrace before walking towards the door. "I hope that you find your Aedan," she said with a hopeful smile and pulled the door closed behind her. Amara quickly locked the door and returned to her chair by the window. She sighed and fidgeted with her new bracers, soon it will be time to go… by sunset tonight she would know for sure…

-O-

**Fergus**

The darkspawn were attacking again. He knew it was only a matter of time before the enemy decided to show itself again. The men had started to get restless anyway, they were tired of digging ditches and rebuilding the village. So far they have not seen the numbers that they saw at Ostagar… these darkspawn seemed to mostly be scouting parties. Nothing large enough to be a serious threat but enough to be of concern. Fergus and his men were just returning from a patrol to the south, he could see the village in the distance. He didn't have to do patrols but it got him away from Eamon. He would rather deal with hundreds of darkspawn than sit in that castle and listen to Eamon plot and scheme. His latest was how he or Aedan should marry Anora to ensure Ferelden's success. That was the latest crazy idea, every couple of days there seemed to be a new one. Eamon's mind was broken, the whole incident with Isolde had pushed him over the edge. Fergus knew this was going to be more of a problem as things progressed with this war.

He wondered if Aedan had made it back from his patrol to the north yet. Fergus knew he wasn't going to keep his brother here much longer. Eventually he was going to have to let him at least go to the Circle to see if they had heard anything about Amara. Perhaps it was selfish of him to want to keep his brother at his side but he didn't want him chasing a ghost across the Bannorn either. Fergus squinted as he looked towards the village, there seemed to be more people wandering about than usual. It was more apparent the closer they came to the village, these were not soldiers but ordinary people. More refugee's perhaps?

"Bran does there seem to be more people?" he asked the young Templar at his side. Bran pulled his helm of and looked.

"Aye… a lot more. See the wagons?" Bran asked as he pointed off into the distance. "Those were not there when we left." Fergus swore under his breath, they were going to reach a point where they couldn't support the number of people they had… the village just wasn't big enough. They were lucky to have the lake… anywhere else they would not have the resources to support these new refugees. "Hopefully there will some craftsmen in the lot… the plague had taken what Redcliffe had," commented Bran. "We have more armor to be repaired than the smith can handle." Fergus nodded. In a short amount of time they were at the village edge. Fergus saw Ser Landry near one of the buildings and waved him over.

"Who are all these people Landry?" he asked as he moved out of the way for an old man with a cart to pass.

"They are from Lothering my Lord. The wells went bad… a healer told them they needed to leave. Ser Bryant over there led them here by the south road," explained the knight.

"Ser Bryant? Here?" exclaimed Bran. "Where is he?" Ser Landry gave him a confused look.

"He is over by the wagons…" Bran rushed over to the wagons without a word. Fergus just shrugged at their friend's quick exit.

"Is my brother back from patrol yet?" Fergus asked as he and Landry walked towards the center of the village.

"No my Lord, but it is still early," noted Landry. "Nothing else really to note other than we see some boats coming in from the Circle… but they are still hours out." Fergus frowned, he hoped they were not coming to take Bran and Petra back. Before he could ask Landry anymore questions Bran came running up to him with an older Templar close behind him.

"Fergus! She's alive!" Bran shouted as he ran. He was wearing a large grin. "Amara's alive! She was in Lothering about ten days ago…" Fergus closed his eyes and let took a deep breath.

"Are you sure?" he asked, both Templar's were nodding.

"Yes, she was traveling with other Warden's. She was the one that told us about the wells and healed all those sick from drinking the water. We would have been here sooner but the rains had washed out a lot of the southern road, it took a lot longer than expected," responded the older Templar. Fergus clapped the man on the shoulder, his smile bright.

"This is the best news I've had in weeks! Thank you!" Fergus spun around to face Landry. "Get some scouts to go find my brother's patrol and bring him back here. Not a word about the Lady Amara… got it?" The knight nodded, with bowed he headed off in the direction of the tents to the south.

"Ser Bryant, do you know where she was going with the other Warden's," asked Bran, his voice full of relief and joy.

"She made mention of some treaties that needed to be delivered for the Grey Warden's for the Blight. I think they were going to the Circle first, then Orzammar," Ser Bryant said. "They took the north road… the Circle is on the way to the dwarves." Fergus looked out towards the lake and smiled.

"We have boats coming in from the Circle… do you think she could be on them?" Fergus asked hopefully. The older Templar shrug.

"It's possible, at least the people on the boats might know where she is now," offered Ser Bryant. Fergus nodded and started to pace.

"Bran, can you get someone at the docks to alert me the moment those boats come in?" Fergus ordered. "When you're done… meet Ser Bryant and me in the tavern. While we wait…I am buying this man a drink!" he stated happily as he grabbed the Templar by the arm and led him up the hill to the tavern.

-O-

**Amara**

The docks kept getting closer, she could make out the shapes of the people on the shore. She pulled her cloak tighter, her nerves were getting the better of her. The whole ride she had been thinking about what she'd say to Aedan if she saw him. Sentence after sentence ran through her mind but none of it sounded right. Her fears and self-doubts were eating away at her.

"Almost there love," Hadley said with a sympathetic smile. Amara nodded and looked away, her anxiety was getting more unbearable. She felt like freezing the lake and running back to the tower. "You have nothing to worry about… try to focus on the positives and how happy you will be if he is there." Amara turned in her seat to look at Hadley.

"Things have changed Hadley… I've changed, what if he has too?" Amara said quietly. "What if what I am and everything with Miel is too much for him?" Just the thought of it made her lip tremble.

"I don't believe that is even a possibility love," Hadley said as he shook his head. "He loves you… don't doubt that." Hadley smiled at her. "You'll see… your magic picked him, trust in that." Amara nodded but it still didn't make her feel any better. She leaned against the side of the boat and closed her eyes in an attempt to calm herself.

It didn't take long, it only seemed like a moment ago that she had just closed her eyes; now they were at the docks and a man was throwing a rope into the boat. She must have dozed off, sleep has been rare since the night of the attack; she would always wake up terrified but not be able to remember her dreams. Amara grabbed her bags and bedroll and walked to the front of the boat. Hadley helped her climb out and onto the wooden planked dock, it felt nice to be on solid ground again. They waited for Zevran and Lena to join them before they headed up the slight incline to the village.

"Well… now what?" asked Amara as she looked around at all of the unfamiliar faces in the crowd.

"Now we go to the place in town that will have all the answers we need my lovely Amara," Zevran said with a smile. Amara raised her eyebrow at him.

"The Chantry?" she asked. Lena snorted.

"No he means the tavern," Lena said as she rolled her eyes. "It's just up that hill," she said as she pointed to the road leading up the hill. They started up the road towards the tavern, Amara followed behind Hadley. She was not really paying attention, she was too fascinated by the windmill on the hill… she didn't notice the men approaching them.

"Ser Hadley?" a familiar voice said. Amara didn't notice that Hadley had come to a stop and bumped into him.

"Bran? Bryant?" she heard Hadley exclaim as he rushed forward. Amara realized who the voice was, it was Bran. She smiled to herself as she stood back and watched when three of her guardians greeted each other. Amara didn't notice the other two men behind them.

"I thought you were Knight-Captain now… what are you doing in Redcliffe?" asked Ser Bryant as he clapped his hand on Hadley's shoulder.

"Not anymore brother… it is a long story," Hadley said with a sad smile. "I'm here in Redcliffe escorting our little Amara…" he said and motioned behind him to where Amara stood with a big smile on her face. Bran rushed forward and gave her a big hug, picking her up and twirling her around.

"Bran! Put me down!" she laughed as she leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Bran finally put her down gave her a kiss on the forehead. Amara reached over and gave Bryant a hug and a kiss on the cheek as well, for the first time in days she felt safe with her Templar guardians here. Amara knew these men would never hurt her… not like Alistair.

"We thought you were dead… it was just today when we got back from patrol and found Bryant did we learn that you survived Ostagar. Where have you been all of these weeks?" Bran asked. Amara sighed and shook her head. She was about to speak when one of the other two men approached them. She glanced up and saw his face…

"Fergus?" she asked, her eyes wide. It was him, he had a beard now and his hair was a bit longer but there was no mistaken Aedan's brother. She rushed forward and gave him a hug. "You're alive!"

"Thanks to you. The lightning enabled us to retreat… without it, things would have turned out quite badly," he chuckled as he returned her hug. Amara looked around anxiously for Aedan but he was nowhere in sight… she immediately thought the worst.

"Aedan… is he?" she asked in a small voice.

"Fine… he is out on patrol with Will and Henric," Fergus said as he patted her back. He was alive… Amara felt herself completely breakdown as anxiety and relief overtook her, tears rolled down her cheeks as broken sobs escaped her lips. He was alive… Fergus wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her over to a nearby bench where he held her as she cried. "Shh… he'll be here soon," Fergus said as he awkwardly tried to console her. "I can't wait to see his face… he was ready to search to the ends of the world for you… I don't think he expected you to find him." Amara sat back and wiped her eyes feeling embarrassed for her outburst.

"I thought he was dead… the witch told me he was dead. I never had any hope that he was alive until a few days ago…" she said, her voice hoarse from crying. "If I wouldn't have trusted the witch I would have been here sooner…" she said regretfully.

"That doesn't matter, you are here now… that is what is important. Aedan lost hope for a while too… it's perfectly normal considering what happened." Fergus said as he stood up. "Come with me," he said as he looked at her companions. "We'll get you some rooms in the castle then I'll check to see if the scouts have arrived back yet." He offered his hand to Amara with a smile. "No more tears Amara… today is a happy day. Let's get ready to give my brother the surprise of a lifetime."

-O-

**Will**

"Well, what do you think? Do you want to make another pass and go farther north or do you want to head back to Redcliffe?" asked Henric as they walked under the tall oak trees. They have been on patrol for three days now, for the most part it has been quiet. They found several blighted wolves and a few Glenlocks a day a go. Will was ready to go back to Redcliffe, he hoped Aedan wasn't going to drag them farther north.

"If we head north now we will get back to Redcliffe sometime tomorrow evening…" Aedan said as they waited for the others to catch up so he could hear what they thought. That was one thing he liked about Aedan, he always got the opinions of his men.

"I vote we go back, these are only three day patrols… There just isn't enough activity to justify doubling up the patrols," commented Will, hoping Aedan would see that there was no need to go north, he was ready for a bath and a warm bed.

"I this the general consensus?" he asked the other soldiers as they caught up. The rest of the men agreed. Aedan sighed, "Alright let's go…" The sound of rustling leaves behind one of the trees put them all on guard. Will was getting ready to freeze whatever was behind that tree when a voice shouted out.

"Oi! Don't shoot… its Alaric," a high pitched voice called from behind a tree. Will stopped casting and felt his mana return to normal. A young man barely sixteen winters stepped out from behind the tree with his hands raised.

"Boy! You are going to get an arrow in the chest one of these days… you need to announce your presence before you make a bunch of noise," scolded Will. The boy blushed and looked down embarrassed. Will knew this boy, he seriously doubted he make it to see his twentieth nameday.

"Sorry…" he mumbled the cleared his throat. "I have a message for Aedan Cousland," the boy announced. Aedan stepped forward and motioned the boy to speak. "I have an urgent message from your brother… he said you need to report to the castle at once. There is a pressing issue that must be discussed." Aedan groaned.

"Eamon?" Will asked, he had witnessed how detached from reality the Arl was the last time he examined him. The man absolutely despised mages now, he was equally terrified of them and Will had experienced that first hand. The Arl had to be restrained for Will to heal him… it was hard to not feel pity for the man, the blood mages had shattered his mind.

"Sounds like it… I'd rather go try to find more darkspawn to kill," Aedan muttered under his breath. "We could just take Alaric with us and head north…" he suggested.

"Oh no! We already decided to go back. I'm sure you can suffer through one evening of entertaining the Arl's ranting," chided Will. "I don't want to have to rally a mutiny," he joked. Aedan rolled his eyes at Will.

"Fine… let's head back. Fergus will owe me for this…" he grumbled.

-O-

It took them a little over an hour to reach the village, during that time Aedan's mood had not improved. Will knew he it wasn't just the Arl that was bothering him. Fergus wouldn't let him go look for Amara without more proof that she was alive, a prophecy and the ranting of blood mages was not enough. Aedan had mentioned before that it just seemed like Fergus was finding excuses to keep him here… now to call him back like this… it made Aedan more resentful. Will could understand Fergus' position too, he didn't want his brother wandering aimlessly around Ferelden looking for her. It was a bad situation that he felt was going to come to a head soon and he hoped the two brothers would find a way to work it out. Will thought that it best to stay put, he knew Lena would look for him if she was alive and Redcliffe would be one of the first places she would look.

Will followed Aedan down the hallways towards their rooms. He couldn't think of anything to say to his brooding friend to make it any better but one thing came to mind.

"Drink when this is done?" he suggested. Aedan nodded, his expression a mix of annoyance and resignation.

"Sure… I'll probably need it," he muttered as he walked to his door. Will sighed, he opened the door to his room and stepped inside closing the door behind him. Before he could light a candle someone grabbed him and pushed him into the door and before he knew it soft moist lips were on his. For a moment he froze, it was impossible… it couldn't be her… could it? He could never forget those lips, it was her! A million questions burned in his mind but they could wait. He wrapped his arms around the small shadowy figure kissing him and spun around pushing her into the door, his kisses quickly became frantic. All of the worry, all of the longing, all of the fear of losing her were in those kisses. He heard her whimper as her hands gripped and tugged at his armor. Will pulled away with a moan.

"Lena… Maker I have missed you," he breathed before his lips sought hers again as his arms pulled her closer. When he pulled away this time he lit the candles with his magic, he wanted to see her. Lena stood before him wrapped in his arms with tears glistening on her beautiful face. She looked exactly as he remembered her… perfect. "I knew you'd find me…" he murmured before capturing her lips again. He slowly pulled away and smiled at her. "What took you so long?" he joked earning him a jab to the ribs. Lena pushed him back towards the bed, he smirked as she started to undo his armor as he walked backwards towards the bed.

"You're lucky I even bothered," she muttered as she tossed pieces of his armor on the floor. Will backed up to the edge of the bed and let her continue to strip him of his armor and clothes. He could not take his eyes off her… his Lena. Will couldn't help but grin at her look of determination as she worked to remove ties and clips of his various pieces of armor.

"No 'I missed you Will!' or "I was worried about you Will'… just going to strip me and have your way with me without an explanation of where you've been the last month?" he scoffed as she pulled off his belt then tugged his pants down before she pushed him back on the bed.

"Basically…" Lena said as she quickly removed her clothes. "It would take too long…" She climbed into the bed and straddled him. She started to leave a trail of kisses from his chest up his neck then stopped as she stared into his eyes. The look she gave him took his breath away, her heart was in her eyes.

"I missed you Will," she said then she bent down and kissed him fiercely. Her passion brought him near the edge of his control. Lena pulled back reluctantly and breathless. "I was worried about you Will," she said as her lips curled into a small smile. "Better?" Will found himself nodding, his eyes hopelessly lost in hers. "Good, I don't want to talk any more… there will be time to talk later. All I want right now is you." Will could not restrain himself any longer, he wrapped his arms around her and flipped them over pinning her underneath him. All of the questions he had were gone the moment he heard her gasp as he pressed himself inside of her.

-O-

**Aedan**

He combed back his hair and looked in the mirror. Other than the scar running down his cheek he looked like a typical noble. He straightened the dark blue tunic that had been left out on his bed. When he saw it laying there with a pair of black leggings he wondered why Fergus had decided he needed to have his clothes picked out for him tonight. He was going to need to sit his brother down soon for a talk… this was getting to be a bit too much. While he understood Fergus' issues with leaving to search for Amara, he felt like his brother just didn't want to be left here alone with Eamon. It was more than obvious the Arl was not himself, the man stayed in his rooms most of the time. When he wasn't in there he was trying to convince someone, namely he or Fergus that Anora was unfit to rule alone, he would babble about a lost heir to the throne and other nonsense. Teagan avoided his brother, rarely were the two in the same room. As far as he knew, neither brother has spoken to the other since they were rescued. Aedan just shook his head… he hoped Fergus and he would never end up like that. Just thinking about the Guerrin brothers made him realize that he needed to have that talk with Fergus before they went out on patrol again. Aedan sighed and pulled his door open… time to get this over with.

Fergus' study was on the far side of the castle, it used to be a small library that was mainly used by a councilor of Rendorn years ago. Eamon had given it to Fergus to use while they were here. As Aedan walked down the hallways he noticed something off… it seemed like this side of the castle had been vacated. Normally there were servants and guards roaming around. Tonight the hall leading to Fergus' study was empty. Aedan felt a moment of alarm… it could be coincidence, maybe he was just getting paranoid. There are lulls in activity… this just could be one of those. Still something seemed off… he had an uneasy feeling now as he approached the door to his brother's study. His brow furrowed as he reached for the door handle, he hesitated for a moment before pulling it open and stepping inside.

Fergus was leaning against his desk with his arms crossed, he pushed himself off and rushed to greet him. Aedan paused for a moment and looked at his brother… he was smiling. He looked genuinely happy… or he was drunk. He felt his eyebrow raise as he regarded his brother.

"Aedan! I trust your patrol went well?" Fergus asked still smiling. Aedan gave his brother a confused look.

"It went well enough… Fergus? Why did you send for me? Is everything alright?" he asked, his concern elevating over his brothers behavior. Fergus started to laugh, it almost sounded like a giggle. "Are you drunk?" asked Aedan disapprovingly.

"Oh Maker's balls I can't do this," he said grinning. "Come out dear…" he called. Aedan's head snapped around at the soft footfalls near a far bookshelf. It was as if she materialized from the shadows in the corner… standing there her eyes downcast was Amara. Aedan felt his heart skip a beat then speed up, for a moment he didn't know what to do or say… he just stood there frozen. She slowly lifted her eyes, when they met his it felt as if time had stopped. Aedan felt like he couldn't breathe as his eyes took her in. She was different than he remembered, her hair seemed darker… her eyes a more vibrant green. The biggest difference was in her demeanor, she seemed scared and apprehensive… he could see her trembling. Her eyes glistened as they filled with tears.

"Aedan…" her voice broke as she said his name. It was as if the spell holding him in place was broken at the sound of his name. He quickly crossed the room and pulled her into an embrace, his arms wrapping around her pulling her tightly to his chest. She clung to him just as tight as sobs shook her entire body. Aedan felt it when her knees gave out and slowly lowered them both to kneel on the floor, he held her tight never letting her go. He closed his eyes as they burned with unshed tears, he buried his face in her hair… breathing in the familiar jasmine scent. Aedan just couldn't believe she was here, she had found him, he never allowed himself to hope of her ever finding him. He had so many questions but he couldn't bring himself to ask them, it could wait. With Amara's arms wrapped tightly around him, her face buried in the hollow of his shoulder… he was completely lost in her, everything about her drew him in deeper. He never heard Fergus leave nor did he have any idea how he ended up sitting on the floor with Amara on his lap cradled in his arms. He was afraid to speak… afraid it would end this closeness that a part of him never thought he would experience again. He would wait for her… wait until she was ready to speak. Until then he was content to just hold her… forever if need be.

-O-


	33. Chapter 33 Things that need saying

**Authors Note****:** A transition chapter before we can lighten the mood some and get more characters interacting. Thanks for reading!

-O-

**Chapter 33 – Things that need saying**

**Amara**

She clung to him, a part of her was afraid to let go… afraid he would disappear. It was overwhelming being this close to him again… the smell of sandalwood caused a flood of memories to rush into her mind. They have only been apart for a little over a month but it felt like a lifetime. There was so much she need to tell him but she was so afraid… that fear kept her silent as Aedan cradled her in his arms. Amara never wanted this to end, she finally felt safe in Aedan's arms. As many times as she told herself that he loved her and he would still love her after she told him everything… she was terrified to start this conversation. As time stretched on and her tears had dried she knew that there was no way to put this off any longer.

"I'm sorry…" she said in a hoarse whisper. Amara felt his arms tighten around her for a moment.

"You have nothing to be sorry for…" Aedan said softly as he bent down and kissed the top of her head.

"I thought you were dead… I believed that you were dead," she said despairingly. "I never questioned Flemeth when she told me… I had no hope Aedan. I gave up on us…"

"I thought you were dead too… I saw a dragon rip the top off of the tower and burn it down. No one could have survived that I told myself… I gave up on everything after that. If it wasn't for Fergus I don't think I would be here now," he said as he brought his hand up to caress her cheek.

"The dragon was Flemeth… she rescued us and took us back to her cottage," Amara said as she leaned into Aedan's touch… cherishing it because she feared it would soon end. "I was unconscious for five days after the battle. For those five days my mind…" she paused and pulled away from Aedan some so she could look at him. "This is hard to explain…" she said as she closed her eyes for a moment. "I was not in the Fade… I was somewhere else." Aedan gave her a confused look.

"If you were not in the Fade then where were you?" he asked, his eyes never leaving hers. Amara looked away then down at her hands.

"I was with Urthemiel in his realm," she said softly. She felt Aedan's entire body tense, she held her breath and waited for him to push her away in disgust. Amara felt him shift and braced herself for his rejection but it never came, instead he pulled her tight against his chest.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked, his voice harsh. She shook her head, squeezing her eyes tight as she tried to stop the tears from falling.

"No… he didn't hurt me," she said as her voice broke. "He took care of me…" Unwanted emotions from her time with Miel bubbled up inside of her, they mixed with the grief she felt over his sacrifice… it was impossible to hold of the tears any longer, they broke free and spilled down her cheeks. She pulled away from Aedan completely and sat on the floor near him. The loss of contact was almost painful to her but Amara knew she would never say what she needed to if she was in his arms. Aedan gave her a confused and hurt look when she moved away from him but he did not try to pull her back. Her hand came up to wipe the tears from her face before she looked up at Aedan. "Urthemiel would never purposefully hurt me Aedan."

"Urthemiel is the Archdemon…" Aedan protested, his eyes growing hard.

"He wasn't always…" Amara said softly, her voice lined with regret. "There was a part of him that was not yet corrupted…, a part of him that was on a higher plane of existence. That was the Miel that I was with," she tried to explain.

"Miel?" Aedan asked sharply. "After the Joining when Will had to pull you from the Fade…"

"Yes… the same. The Joining… when they tried to taint me, it exposed me to him. Before that he didn't know who I was or that I existed…"

"I read the prophecy…" Aedan said as his eyes focused on her. Amara felt despair start to grow within her. "I know he is after you, I never understood why… why did this corrupted god choose you? Is it your magic?" Amara shook her head and clasped her hands in her lap so he wouldn't see them shaking.

"He didn't choose me…" she said quietly. "Things were put into motion thousands of years ago, the circumstances had to be just right…" she looked away from Aedan. "Those circumstances were brought together by Flemeth, Irving, my mother and her lover the night I was conceived." She paused, not sure how to explain what they did, she sighed and proceeded. "They performed a ritual… it brought an old god back to this world for a fertility rite. They summoned Razikale and he… he impregnated my mother," Amara eyes met Aedan's again. He was looking at her with an expression that was a combination of shock and disgust. Seeing him look at her like that nearly crushed her resolve, she took a deep breath before continuing. "So Miel didn't choose me… no more than I chose being Razikale's daughter. It was fate… and it was by fate that I become Urthemiel's mate," she said, her voice distant, numb. Aedan's face was unreadable, Amara looked away from him unable to weather his gaze. They sat in silence, Amara couldn't look at him; she did not want to see rejection in his eyes.

"Well… that explains a lot… why your magic is so different and why he is after you," Aedan said evenly, his voice not reflecting his thoughts. "The whole prophecy is about this? You resisting becoming his mate and not letting Urthemiel control your mind?" Amara nodded.

"That is why I have to have a champion… the bond prevents him from being able to get into my mind… I'm not strong enough to resist otherwise," she said, still unable to look at him.

"You were in his realm for five days… why didn't he just take control of your mind then?" Aedan pressed. Amara tensed, how was she going to explain what happened there? How could she tell him she was blissfully happy even if her happiness was due to Miel's influence on her mind? She knew now that it was all an illusion but how could she explain to Aedan that for a brief time she was more than willing to submit to Urthemiel? Perhaps it was the coward's path she chose but she decided not to tell him about it. Amara knew that it wasn't real and she had no future with Miel, her time with Urthemiel was just a dream that didn't need to be retold.

"Because he didn't want to hurt me… he wanted me to come to him willingly… not be his slave," she said, trying to stay with the basic facts. The situation with Miel was still raw for her… the time they spent together may have been an illusion but the fact he loved her enough to save her filled her with regret and guilt, it ate away at her.

"Why would he do that? He could have won…" Aedan voice full of disbelief laced with anger.

"Because… he loved me," Amara blurted, she regretted saying it, now she would have to explain. Aedan just stared at her, his face a blank mask. "He's was not evil before the darkspawn found him… A part of the uncorrupted Urthemiel was still there… for a short time. That's why he didn't take my mind… he tried to keep the darkspawn away to protect me, he believed there was a way he could escape the taint." Amara felt the sting of tears in her eyes as her emotions started to run high again. "He sacrificed that part of himself that was still uncorrupted to save me from Alistair… It is my fault that Urthemiel's corruption is complete and the darkspawn are attacking again. It is my fault…" she sobbed as she wrapped her arms around herself and turned away from Aedan. Just mentioning Alistair's name brought out feelings of fear and anxiety, mixed with the overwhelming guilt she felt over Miel it left her gasping for breath as she cried. She felt like she was drowning in emotions as she struggled unsuccessfully to calm herself. Suddenly Aedan was there wrapping his arms around her, she flinched and tried to push him away but he wouldn't let her. He pulled her tight to his chest and rested his chin on her head.

"You're safe… it's ok. It's not your fault… shh I've got you," he murmured as he held her tight. The soothing sound of his voice broke through her misery giving her some comfort as the waves of emotions started to subside. Even though she did feel safe in Aedan's arms it still took several minutes for her to calm herself. "Please tell me what happened… why did Urthemiel have to save you from the person who promised me he would keep you safe?" Amara took some deep breaths but they didn't really help… she just needed to push through this, then she wouldn't have to talk about it anymore, at least that's what she told herself. Aedan gently rubbed her back, "It's ok, I'm here… just tell me what you can," he said comfortingly. Amara nodded and drew on his support to calm herself.

"Flemeth made me bond with Alistair after I woke up… at first everything was ok. He helped me and took care of me when I overextended my magic. But after the first time the bond was fully invoked when he fought some bears outside of Lothering everything changed. He… he tried to court me… I rejected him, I told it him it was just too soon. After that he was angry all of the time, I could feel it through the bond along with his desire for me. It was so bad that just being around him made me sick… I was hoping to find someone at the Circle that would be my champion. Hadley volunteered to do it…we were just waiting for Irving to rest and then we were going to fix it…" Her resolve started to break, it became hard to breathe again; her anxiety was so elevated that she tried to pull away from Aedan. He didn't let her, he pulled her on to his lap and held her close.

"I'm here now Amara… I will keep you safe," he murmured as he kissed her forehead. Amara rested her head against his chest. She put all of her focus on Aedan… his warmth, his scent and the sound of his heart beat and felt herself begin to calm. This was agonizing to feel such fear… she hoped she never remembers the events of that night that had caused it.

"I was stupid…," she began. "I went to the lake alone after I found out about my father. It was there that he found me," Amara paused to take a couple of breaths. "I don't remember anything that happened after I arrived at the lake, my next memories were of Irving bonding me to Ser Hadley. At some point I severed the bond with Alistair… I must have tried to defend myself because I couldn't use my magic on him when we were bonded. When Zevran arrived he saw Alistair on top of me…" Amara felt Aedan tense, she could hear his heart beat faster. She knew he was trying to stay calm for her. "Zevran said that Miel materialized from the shadows and threw Alistair across the clearing into the trees. Zevran was there when Urthemiel healed me and took my memories away… but he couldn't take the emotions away. He told Zevran to that he used all of his power to save me and that now the taint would claim him…"

"Is Alistair dead?" Aedan ask, his voice harsh.

"No… he claims he has no memory of that night either. Since Urthemiel healed me there was no proof to show how far the attack had gotten, so the Templars had to free him. Lena sent him to the dwarves and will file charges with the Wardens." Amara said as she fought to keep her tone even. She did not know what kind of punishment Alistair should receive… all she knew was that it terrified her to know he was just walking around free. Even though she wasn't bonded to him and could use her magic on him she was still afraid of him.

"He is a dead man if I ever see him again," Aedan said with such conviction it startled her. She looked at the firm set of his jaw and knew this words were true… he would kill Alistair if he saw him.

"I do not ever want to see him again but I do not wish for his death. It was the taint that drove him to do what he did… Irving said I cannot bond with anyone tainted or the same thing will happen…"

"How can I be your champion then? I'm tainted now…" Aedan said miserably. "How can I protect you?" Amara could feel his distress, she reached her hand up and cupped his cheek.

"I can remove the taint from you," Amara said as her fingers trailed down his cheek. "I healed Lena of her taint…she can still sense darkspawn and we think she is still immune to the taint." Aedan gave her a surprised look that quickly turned into one of happiness. He reached up gently took her hand in his and brought it to his lips.

"Then I am still your champion… Can you bond us now? I don't want to put this off," he said resolutely. Amara sat up and turned so she could look at him. She was more cautious now… she couldn't let Aedan do this unless he knew what he was getting involved in.

"Are you sure this is what you want? I am different now, I've changed… my magic is a lot stronger, darker. I've killed people Aedan…" her voice broke as she looked away from him. "You know what will happen between us when we bond… how the bond amplifies emotions. I'm not truly human… can you honestly say that doesn't bother you? That none of this bothers you?" she trailed off feeling dejected. Aedan reached over and gently lifted her chin so she would have to look at him.

"None of that matters to me Amara… I love you just as much as I did before Ostagar, maybe more because now I know what it feels like to lose you. I never want to feel that again… ever. Everything else we will get through and I promise you that I will not leave your side again. We are in this together… always," Aedan said, his voice was full of emotion as he stared into her eyes. Amara's heart sped up as she felt herself lean to him as if she was drawn there by some unknown force. Her eyes slowly closed as his lips softly brushed against hers, Amara felt herself tremble with anticipation. Aedan pulled away for a brief moment before his lips returned to hers with fervor, Amara was lost in his kiss… memories of their brief time together before the battle came rushing back. Her arms wrapped around Aedan's neck and she pulled him to her, returning his kisses with equal passion. It was so easy for her to lose herself in him, it was as if they had never been apart. Her magic flared but she welcomed it, she directed it to heal Aedan, to remove every particle of the taint from him. The power of her magic surrounded them both in a vibrant swirling green light that left her skin tingling and her body flushed. Aedan groaned and pulled away, his breathing heavy as he looked at her, he was not afraid, his eyes reflected nothing but the love he had for her. Amara ran her finger down his cheek where there was once a scar, her magic healed it along with the taint; she could no longer sense it in him.

Amara reached down and grasped both of his hands, threading her fingers in his so that their palms were touching. She knew what she needed to do as she focused her magic on their joined hands. A tremendous amount of her power rushed to where their palms were joined, she saw Aedan flinch but instead of pulling away he gripped her hands tighter, not allowing the connection between them to be broken. Amara felt herself start to weaken as more and more of her magic rushed to form the bond with Aedan. She leaned forward and brought her lips to his in a gentle kiss that lingered between the two of them as the bond took shape. The pain in her palms was unbearable but she made no motions to let go of his hands, she could only imagine the pain that Aedan was feeling. Tears escaped her eyes and streamed down her cheeks as the bond continued to strengthen and the pain increased. When she thought she could bear no more she felt her strength leave her as her magic flowed through the bond into Aedan. Amara felt him tense as he threw his head back, his whole body started to shake. Aedan didn't cry out in pain, his jaw was clenched tight and his breathing was heavy and labored as her magic surged through him. His eyes snapped open, they glowed green as he looked down at her. He brought their joined hands up to his chest as he took several deep breaths trying to control his breathing, his eyes never leaving hers. She could feel his love for her through the bond, it was so pure, so intense that Amara could barely breathe. Aedan bent down and captured her lips sending shivers down her spine as the bond completed itself, joining them in a union that could never be broken.

Amara felt a fatigue far greater than any she had experienced before set it. She collapsed forward into Aedan's arms, as she struggled to keep her eyes open. He scooped her up into his arms and stood up, Amara had no idea where he was carrying her, she was too tired and too comfortable nestled in his arms to care. Before she knew it he was laying her down in a bed, she managed to reach her hand up and cup his cheek as she smiled at him.

"I love you Aedan…" she said softly as he gripped her hand and brought it to his lips.

"I love you Amara… forever," he said as he bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. She sighed contentedly as he brought the blankets up and tucked her in. The last thing she remembered before sleep overtook her was Aedan gently caressing her cheek.

-O-

**Aedan**

He sat there for a while just stroking her cheek as she slept. His beautiful Amara… she looked so peaceful compared to earlier. Her tears had torn his heart to pieces, she had been so upset, nearly in a state of panic. Aedan did the only thing he knew he could do… he just held her. He wished he never left her side, that he could have kept her safe… instead he had failed her. He was supposed to protect her, he was her champion… but he had failed, leaving her exposed… vulnerable. He had to make this right… she never will be alone in this fight again, he would make sure of it. Aedan looked down at his newly branded palms and was amazed at the runes that covered them. They were so much more detailed than the ones before, they spread out to cover of his entire palm in a design even the most gifted artisans would not be able to recreate. His finger traced the outline of design and he found himself smiling… he was glad to wear her mark again. Things seemed a bit more right in his life at this moment than they have since the witch broke their bond so many weeks ago.

Aedan leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her lips. He pulled the blanket up and tucked it under her chin, his hand gently smoothing out her hair as it draped across the pillow. He slowly stood up making sure he did not wake her and quietly left the room. After calling a guard over and instructing him to guard the door and inform him if she should awake, Aedan left to seek out his brother. He had a pretty good idea where he would find him. Aedan headed down the series of hallways that lead to the back of the castle near the dining hall. There had been a gaming room there that substituted as an in-castle tavern of sorts. As he drew near he could hear the loud laughter and merriment, Aedan knew he had been correct in his assumptions on his brother's whereabouts. He rounded the corner and saw that the room was full of people, most he recognized.

"Brother! What are you doing here? Why are you not with Amara?" Fergus called from his seat near a keg of ale. Aedan shook his head and navigated around the tables and benches to pull up an empty chair at his brother's side.

"She is resting…" he said as he reached for an empty mug to get himself some of the ale. Fergus gave him an odd look as he watched him fill his mug, Aedan drank it down quickly and refilled it before sitting back in the chair. He brought his hand up to rub his brow, the conversation with Amara weighing heavy on him.

"I see you wear the runes again brother…" Fergus commented with a curious expression. Aedan nodded and finished off his mug of ale. He didn't notice Fergus' raised eyebrow as he reached over to refill his mug a third time. "Care to talk about it? Or should I leave you alone with a fresh keg?" Fergus asked, his light tone barely masking his concern. Aedan sat there for a few more minutes staring at his mug, his jaw clenched and his brows furrowed.

"I failed her Fergus…" he said finally. "Do you know what happened to her?" Fergus looked over at the table where Bran sat with the other Templars.

"I know some," he admitted. "Probably not nearly as much as you… but I know it has been difficult for her since Ostagar. I know of her lineage… and I know that a particular individual needs to die… but not much more," Fergus took a drink from his mug. He reached over and gave Aedan's arm a squeeze. "You didn't fail her… there was nothing you could have done. All you can do is be there for her now." Aedan took another drink as he thought about what Fergus said. It didn't help with the guilt eating him up inside.

"I'm so angry now…" Aedan admitted heatedly.

"Of course you are… rightfully so," commented Fergus. "But you are not the only one who shares these feelings… perhaps it is best you discuss things with them, it may help keep you from doing anything you will regret."

"Do you know if Zevran or Hadley are here?" he asked. He needed to know more about what Amara had told him. Fergus nodded and pointed.

"The blond elf over window is Zevran… the dark haired Templar is Hadley. Shall I call them over?" Aedan nodded as he refilled his mug. Fergus waved at the serving boy and pointed out the two men while giving him instructions. The boy bowed and quickly went about his task of telling the men that the Teyrn had requested their presence. Aedan waited in trepidation as the two men left their companions and approached the table. These men were the ones who Amara seemed to trust the most…the tall dark-haired Templar with the goatee seemed friendly enough, he wore an open expression that seemed very trustworthy. The shorter wiry fair-haired elf was quite different, he displayed an openness that was deceptive; his eyes were guarded and wary. Aedan stood and greeted the men with a firm handshake when they arrived at the table.

"So you are my little Amara's Aedan?" he said with a grin but Aedan could see the Templar's eyes were appraising him. "I have often wondered what type of man had won her heart… It is a pleasure to meet you, I am glad the stories of your demise at Ostagar proved to be false." Aedan nodded and offered him a mug of ale.

"As am I…" he said ruefully. "You were one of her guards at the Circle? Like Bran?" Hadley nodded and smiled.

"Aye it was myself, Bryant, Cullen and Bran that watched over her," he said fondly. Cullen… there was a name Aedan hadn't heard in a while.

"You have all been reunited except for Ser Cullen," he noted. Hadley frowned and looked away catching Aedan's attention. "I trust Ser Cullen is well?"

"He lives…," said Hadley vaguely. "But I fear his mind has been damaged by the blood mages that had taken over the Circle. I fear that it will be a long time for him to recover if at all," he said bluntly. Aedan frowned, he knew that Amara and Cullen were close… he had been fool enough to accuse Amara of it being more than friendship, it seemed like a lifetime ago since that argument.

"I'm sorry," Aedan said sincerely. He remembered the night they left the Circle and his conversation with the Templar… it was not so dissimilar than the one he had with Alistair at Ostagar. He felt his anger start to rise just remembering asking Alistair to watch over her.

"Don't be… I know that he is my brother Templar and was my friend but he said some pretty horrendous things to Amara. I realize that the blood mages had tortured him but I find it difficult to forgive him of the things he said to her," Hadley said bitterly.

"May I ask what he said?" asked Fergus. Hadley sighed and looked down at his mug.

"She had saved them… really it is because of Amara there were any survivors. After she healed him he turned against her… called her Urthemiel's whore," he said angrily. "When I found her after he said that to her she was a mess… all due to a fools words." Hadley shook his head and took another drink. "You know I think that whole Maker forsaken day was set into motion over his words. First Cullen rejects her then Irving tells her about her father… I can see why she sought solace at the lake, it was just too much. Then that monster finds her there alone…" Hadley slammed his fist down on the table. "I should have killed him when I had the chance." Fergus was right, he was not the only one having a hard time dealing with their anger over what happened.

"Amara told me what happened… with Alistair." Aedan practically spat his name. "Thank you Zevran for trying to stop it…"

"No thanks are necessary friend," said Zevran, his eyes were hard. "Thank me when the fiend finds the end of my dagger," said Zevran as he took a drink from his mug before giving Hadley an envious look. "At least you were able to repay his actions with your fists… I will have to wait a bit longer…"

"Aye…" Hadley murmured. After noticing the curious look from Aedan he said, "Knight Commander Greagoir looked the other way when we made sure the swine understood the severity of his actions…"

"Good," said Aedan. "He is a dead man if I see him again." The men nodded in agreement, drawn together by their hatred for Alistair. After a few moments of silence Aedan gave Zevran a pained look.

"You were the first there… was he able to…" Aedan trailed off, he couldn't bring himself to actually say it.

"I truly do not know my friend," Zevran said with a frown. "I had just arrived there to find him in the position when the god showed up and threw him. She was not conscious at the time… I can only assume the worse. Urthemiel did not say exactly either… I am afraid we will never know for sure," he said quietly. Aedan nodded and took another drink of his ale. He had hoped for a different answer… just having it confirmed made him want to go to Orzammar now and kill the bastard. It was hard to reign in his anger…

"You had words with Urthemiel?" Fergus asked incredulously, Zevran nodded. Aedan notice for a moment the elf's eyes filled with sadness.

"Yes, I spoke with him… He was not what I expected," Zevran said thoughtfully. Aedan looked at him sharply noting the elf's lack of malice towards the god.

"What was he like?" he asked, Aedan didn't know why he asked… maybe it was morbid curiosity, but he wanted to know what the creature was like. Zevran gave him a sad smile.

"Are you sure you wish to know this my friend?" he asked Aedan.

"Yes, I need to know what I'm facing if I am going to protect her," he said adamantly. Zevran sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Very well… He was like no man I have seen before… if I had to explain him the one word that comes to mind is perfection." Hadley snorted at the comment. "Do not like my choice of words Templar?" Hadley laughed…

"Maybe I'm just not use to a man calling another man perfect," Hadley said as he took another drink. Zevran smirked at the tipsy Templar.

"I assure you my skirt wearing friend that I am an excellent judge of male beauty… I am from Antiva after all and a Crow, we do not share the same closed mindedness as you Ferelden's in regards to our sexuality or our appreciation of the genders," the elf said with a feral grin and a wink that had the Templar's face turning red. "Anyway," he said turning back to Aedan. "Urthemiel is the epitome of male beauty, a body of raw taunt muscle, a chiseled face and pale green eyes that render you frozen when his gaze is upon you." Zevran trailed off for a moment before continuing. "Basically what you would expect the god of beauty to look like no?" Aedan just stared at the elf for a moment. After a description like that he started to have some doubts… was Amara attracted to Urthemiel? What woman would not be attracted to someone like that?

"Well that was educational…" said Fergus as he gave the elf an odd look. "What exactly did he say to you?"

"It is not so much what he said to me my friend, it is what he did. I have listened to what was said about this god… that he was hopelessly corrupted, but what I saw that night leads me to believe that was not entirely true," Zevran said carefully as his eyes met Aedan's and he frowned. "I know this will be hard to hear but this Urthemiel… he loves the lovely Amara dearly. What I saw that night was not of a creature trying to destroy or dominate another… nothing like that occurred."

"Then what did you see?" asked Aedan, his voice hollow.

"I saw a man saying goodbye to someone he loved very deeply," Zevran said sadly. "He knew there was no hope of ever being with her… he had sacrificed himself to save her from Alistair. If he had not done that or removed her memories I am afraid she would have been broken beyond repair. For that I feel we owe Urthemiel a debt of gratitude." Zevran looked at their appalled expressions and sighed. "I believe a distinction needs to be made between the god Urthemiel and the Archdemon… for Amara's sake and if we hope to protect her from those in Tevinter that will stop at nothing to bring what they believe is Urthemiel into power."

"He's right," said Aedan. "The more we understand about Urthemiel the better we can protect Amara…the prophecy makes a clear distinction between the Corrupted and the Beast, that will help us decipher it and maybe we can change or stop events from happening."

"What prophecy?" asked a confused Fergus. Aedan just ignored him… he would explain it to Fergus later.

"Ahh yes, the prophecy," said Zevran as he reached into his jacket and pulled out a small book and sat it on the table. Aedan frowned when he saw it, this book was definitely thicker than the copy he had in his room.

"Where did you get this?" asked Hadley as he picked up the book and began flipping through the pages.

"Courtesy of the Circle library of course," said Zevran as he snatched the book back from Hadley and handed it to Aedan. "The mage Finn found it for me before we left… A bit dry at times but very informative yes?" Aedan quickly flipped to the last entries of the book… it was different, the book Will had found in Jowan's belongings was missing whole sections.

"May I?" he asked Zevran. A sliver hope started to form in his heart that the fate in the other version of the prophecy would not come true.

"Of course… keep it as long as you need it," said the elf.

"You know I'm curious about something," commented Fergus. "You are an Antivan Crow… who I heard was hired to kidnap Amara for some Tevinter magister…"

"You are correct, that was my original purpose," said Zevran as he gave Fergus an amused look.

"Why are you still here? I mean you are a Crow… why do you wish to protect Amara… what is in it for you?" he asked pointedly. Aedan gave his brother a dirty look to which Fergus just shrugged. "It's a fair question…" Zevran smirked at them.

"A fair question indeed! To be honest I do not have an easy answer… The lovely Amara has shown me kindness and acceptance even though I was hired to kidnap her. I find myself drawn to her, I have a need to protect her… I have no family but if I did, I imagine I would feel this way about them. Perhaps it has something to do with what she is… I do not know. What I do know is that I will protect her with my very life if need be… so you ask, what is in it for me? A chance to be more than a Crow maybe? I do not know… but when I do my friend, I will let you know," Zevran said with a cautious smile. Fergus nodded, the answer appeared to satisfy him.

The conversation lightened considerably after that when Hadley started telling tales about the Circle and tricks Amara and Will use to play on some of the Templars. Aedan found himself enjoying the company of the assassin and Templar, they seemed like men he could be friends with. Aedan actually found himself laughing a few times which startled him… maybe it was the drink or maybe the company but his thoughts were not so heavy now. Aedan just shook his head, the ale started to take affect and dull his senses as he listened to the others banter on. After a few more stories Fergus refilled his mug and spilled much of it on the table when he sat back down.

"I have another question…" he said, his words slurring together. Aedan could see that his brother was drunk and hoped it wouldn't be one that would insult their company.

"Go ahead… I think," muttered Aedan as he finished his sixth or seventh mug of ale… he wasn't sure.

"How is it that my baby brother managed to land a goddess? I mean a real goddess? How is that even possible?" Fergus laughed as Aedan groaned and put his head down on the soiled table. Fergus reached over and patted him on the back. "It's ok I can't figure it out either…" he said to no one in particular. The other men laughed.

"Maybe he has special talents we are not aware of no?" asked Zevran with a wag of his eyebrows causing Fergus to nearly fall out of his chair in laughter.

"You two are terrible," laughed Hadley as he shook his head. Aedan pulled himself up and glared at his brother.

"I think on that note I am done for the evening…" he said as he pushed his chair out and stood up.

"Oh you are no fun… always running off when things get interesting," commented Fergus as he waved him off. Aedan rolled his eyes and bid Zevran and Hadley a good night. It took him longer to navigate the hallways to his room. The guard said that he had not heard Amara awaken when Aedan returned, he dismissed the man and slowly opened the door. Amara was still lying in bed where he had left her. She looked very peaceful as she slept…. her chest rising and falling slowly. Aedan quietly removed his boots and shirt and crawled into bed behind her. His movements had caused her to turn in her sleep, she snuggled into his side with her arm wrapped around his chest.

"Aedan…" she murmured in her sleep. Aedan smiled and wrapped his arm around her pulling her closer, her jasmine scent and gentle breathing quickly brought him to the cusp of sleep. The last thought on his mind before sleep claimed him was of home, not of Highever but here nestled in her arms… this was his home.

-O-


End file.
